


Recovery and relapse

by kawherp



Series: V: The L.A. Chronicles [3]
Category: V (1983)
Genre: Dubious Science, Ensemble Cast, F/M, Non-Graphic Violence, Sound science whenever possible
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-19
Updated: 2017-09-03
Packaged: 2018-11-15 21:29:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 90,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11239629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kawherp/pseuds/kawherp
Summary: What do you do when your driving force for living no longer exists? How do you pick up the pieces and keep moving forward? Do you give up or keep fighting? Can old friends help you find your way?Meanwhile, Jackie has her own recovery to focus on.





	1. Assessing the Damage

The effects of the conversion became more apparent as Jackie regained her strength. It seemed to her that there was a direct correlation between her physical healing and the growing discord within her mind. Memories were mixed up with conversion-induced images and she was no longer certain which thoughts were her own. Ignoring Jacob’s advice to recall every moment in the chamber, she tried to ignore the past completely and sought refuge in the books that lined the shelves scattered throughout the house they now occupied.

She couldn’t even remember coming here. Jacob had been sitting with her when she woke up in a strange room, looking at beige walls and an equally bland ceiling. The Visitor had confirmed that the freezer held an adequate supply of meat, and said they assumed she would find enough food as well.

Dazed and disoriented, she had let Jacob guide her downstairs to the kitchen. The modest two‑story house was comfortable, though eclectically decorated. Throughout the home, randomly placed shelves displayed books and pictures from another time, before the war. Otherwise, the home was devoid of decorations, save for a few prints on the walls. There were no signs of children, although Jacob told her there were two bedrooms upstairs. In fact, the whole place had the atmosphere of a professor’s office. The reading selection was wonderfully diverse, and she escaped for hours at a time into an alternate reality where life was fair.

For a time, the books were enough. But as her health improved, so grew the urge to return to her music. The piano in the living room drew her with equal feelings of desire and dread. She was using her left hand almost constantly now, except for when she caught herself and actively concentrated on what she was doing. Worst of all were the nightmares. They came almost every night, and left behind a residue of terror she couldn’t put aside. The images that interrupted her sleep were fleeting and elusive, and the harder she tried to remember them, the worse the terror became.

The Visitors watched her carefully, but allowed her the solitude she craved. She was dimly aware that Jacob and Megan spent a lot of time together. So much, in fact, that if she had been less withdrawn, she would have been intrigued by Drew’s indifference to the affair. She knew Drew was still bitter about having to flee the ship and spent hours brooding. But those impressions were on the periphery of her conscious; her inward struggles drew most of her attention.

One afternoon, about two weeks after they had sought shelter in the abandoned house, the piano’s siren call was too strong to ignore. She set aside her book and vacated the wing-back chair she had claimed as her own. Feeling as if in a trance, she moved across the room and tensely sat down on the piano bench. She rested her hands on the cabinet for several minutes before she could bring herself to open and expose the keyboard.

Jackie started with simple scales, using first one hand, then the other. Success led her to attempt scales with both hands. “So far, so good,” she murmured to herself.

Encouraged by the sounds resonating from the well-tuned instrument, she launched into a favorite Mozart sonata. Only a few measures into the piece, she stopped, waiting for the sounds of discord to fade. She took a calming breath and tried again. Maybe she was just out of practice, she thought, and tried again.

“Damn!” she swore aloud, and tears rushed to her eyes. She could feel her heart beating in her chest and her hands felt sweaty. “Okay. Mozart’s too much. Try something simple. _Silent Night_.” She had learned a very simple arrangement of that piece during her first year of piano lessons. Surely she would be able to play that.

Resolved, she played a few tentative notes, only to give up three measures into the piece. “Damn you, Diana.”

Alerted by the unfamiliar sounds, Drew had roused himself from his stupor in the adjoining room and moved to the doorway to watch. He had seen her staring at the large unit before, and had wondered what it was for. Given her reaction, it was obviously not intended to sound that awful. Although her back was to him, he could see that her hands were clenched into fists.

“More effects of the conversion?” he asked softly as he walked up behind her.

She didn’t sense his approach and jumped when he spoke. Her head whipped around and she looked at him with teary eyes. “You could say that.”

He waited, watching her with the unflappable, unblinking stare characteristic of his people.

“I can’t keep my hands straight. I can hear the music in my head and I know which keys to strike, but I keep crossing my hands over in my mind. I was good at playing the piano, millions of dollars good. Six albums good. Eight world tours good. And Diana has taken that from me. What’s next? My singing? I guess it’s a good thing I invested most of my profits; looks like that career is over.”

“Performing is your job?” Drew asked, trying to understand the menagerie of strange statements she had just made.

“Was. I don’t think I’ll be performing anymore. There isn’t a high demand for _Chopsticks_. ”

“Chopsticks?”

“Never mind.” Jackie closed the piano and rested her hands once more on the cabinet. “We should think about heading to L.A. soon, before I forget how to get there.”

*****

For days, Kim hid in her lab and wallowed in grief. Time lost all meaning to her as she vacillated between anguished tears and silent depression. She still wore the disguise, mostly because removing it would require more effort than she could put forth. She watched the video tape of Andrew’s birthday for hours, pausing only to rewind the tape and play it again. Andy’s T-shirt was her constant companion. She slept with it, rocked it, hugged it, and cried into it, trying to cope with the guilt and grief she felt. She had failed to protect him, failed to even respect his body after death. Though a part of her knew Andy would forgive her, Kim doubted she would ever forgive herself.

Until now, failure had been outside her vocabulary. Her intelligence, talent, and determination had allowed her to achieve all of the goals she ever set for herself. If the odds seemed to be against success, she found a way to alter them. Andrew’s death changed that. She had been too sure of his rescue, too certain the transfer to the other ship would go as planned; she had stopped worrying about him. If only she had asked Martin to move him sooner, if only....

The child within her stirred, drawing her attention back to the present. Her hand went to her abdomen, as it often had these past days. Damn Diana’s genetic experiments. The pregnancy had somehow prevented her from committing suicide. She had removed the capsule from her neck and held it in her hand. But she had been unable to put it in her mouth, much less swallow it. Eating wasn’t a problem, in fact her cravings for raw meat were becoming impossible to ignore. Only the deadly pill rendered her hand immobile, forcing her to accept yet another failure. For now, it seemed, she was going to be forced to keep living.

Slowly, she came to terms with her continued survival. If she was going to be forced to keep on breathing, she may as well make her sentence on Earth count for something. And hadn’t she promised Andrew she would make Diana pay? Hadn’t she vowed to help stop the people who murdered him? She couldn’t quit now; she had a promise to keep, didn’t she? It was time to set her selfishness and grief aside and get busy.

That decision led to the obvious question of how to proceed. What could she do that would most anger Diana, if Diana found out? Kim smiled to herself. Of course! Continuing her masquerade would be the ultimate insult. She could help other fifth columnists who had had to seek refuge in the city. Wouldn’t they be more comfortable receiving help from someone they thought of as one of their own, someone they could trust? She was still wearing her disguise, wasn’t she? It was the most reasonable thing to do, wasn’t it? She could go to Paul, who Martin said had set up operations in the red‑light district. Surely he could tell her what assistance was needed. All she had to do was pack some clothes that would fit around her expanding stomach and leave a note for Philip and Jackie. She hugged Andy’s shirt to her chest as she made her plans, then carefully set it aside. She had work to do.

*****

“Got another one for you, Paul.”

Kim followed the woman into the dimly lit room. There was a small table in the corner that held several cages of rodents. A desk was pushed up against the wall, next to a straight-backed chair. The figure at the desk looked very human as he slid his chair back and turned to see his new guest. “Karen!” he exclaimed in surprise, recognizing Martin’s chosen consort. “Thank you, Candy.”

“Whatever,” Candy said, snapping her gum as she left and closed the door behind her.

“Sit down! Have you eaten?” He seemed happy to have a break from the papers he had been going through, and he gave her his full attention.

Kim eased herself down onto a chair that looked too rickety to hold her weight. She sat on the front edge, expecting it to give way. Nodding her head, she replied, “I’m fine.”

“Martin sent word I should watch for you, but after so long, I thought...” He shook his head.

“I had some other things to do before coming,” Kim hedged. She hadn’t known Martin had made plans for her arrival. How had he known she was going to come here, when she herself had made the decision only this morning? He must have told Paul as a precaution, just in case she took the unlikely option of continuing her masquerade, she decided.

“I’m glad. Only about two of every ten columnists make it off the ship alive, you know.” He paused, both of them thinking about lost comrades. “At least now they have a place to come to. I hear it was your idea to set up down here, true?”

“Only in part. How is it working out?”

“Could be better, could be worse,” he said and shrugged. “Some of them, like Candy, are glad to help any way they can. Most don’t want to get involved, and keep quiet only because they keep their money. And a few...” He let that sentence trail off unfinished. The realities of war didn’t need to be explained to Karen, he was sure. “But our network is spreading. We’ve been able to move several targeted human families into hiding, and if it weren’t for the work of those ladies, we would never have known about the plans. It sure is a strange system they have here, though.”

“I expect they would find many of our ways equally strange,” Kim replied.

“I’m sure, and I didn’t mean to sound like I was criticizing them. I’d rather be here than looking over my shoulder on the ship, to speak the truth.” He leaned back in his chair and studied her. “I see you already have civilian clothes. What is it you need? I’ll help you any way I can.”

“Other than you, I’m completely cut off from the ship and the column. My only other contact is a human, but her resources are rather limited. I’m here to serve in whatever capacity you think would be most useful to the column. But you also need to know something about my condition.” Kim hesitated. “I managed to get myself caught up in some of Diana’s medical experiments.”

“We’ve all had to do some things we didn’t want to,” Paul said, encouraging her.

“I’m pregnant with a hybrid child.”

Paul’s eyes widened, but he said nothing, only nodded for her to continue.

“I have no way of knowing how much longer I’ll be useful on my feet, though I assume there are sedentary tasks I can do as time goes on.”

“And then? We have only the most rudimentary medical supplies, and so far, none of our physicians have made it to the surface.”

“The humans have an expression that seems appropriate: I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it.”

Paul nodded in sympathetic agreement. “How about joining one of the groups that monitors ship communications? They’re located in a relatively quiet area of the city, so you probably won’t be the target of a raid. Some of the individuals in that group mingle on the streets, and others pose as officers in transit, to try to collect more information. But given the circumstances, I think it would be agreeable to them for you to monitor ship communications only. Is that acceptable? I realize it is perhaps not the best use of your training.”

“It sounds fine. I don’t know that any of us are going to use our training in the intended ways again. Look at you. What is your role called by the humans? A pimp?”

Paul laughed in a very human fashion. “Yes. ‘Slave owner’ seems to be more appropriate, from how I’ve seen them treat their women. The one I killed to replace was such an offender. I think he would have killed Candy if I hadn’t stopped him.”

“Which won you their gratitude.”

“And gave them a chance to regain the self-respect their former pimp took from them. One of the ladies will show you to a room where you can rest while we contact the group you’ll be joining,” Paul said, standing up. “Do you still have your firearm?”

“Yes, and my uniform, which will not fit me much longer, I’m afraid.”

“I’ll see if any other uniforms can be procured for you. It may be useful to have at some point.” Paul opened the door and went into the hallway. “Angel, could you show Karen to a room, please?”

“Sure, honey,” she said to Paul before turning her gaze to Karen. “Come on, honey. This your first time on the surface?” Angel asked. She didn’t even pause to hear the answer, but kept on talking. “We’ll take care of you, don’t you worry. I’d do anything for Paul, and that means I’ll do anything for you, you hear?”

Kim shook her head to herself as she followed the chattering woman to a small room furnished only with a narrow bed, a small table, and a chair. Was everyone ‘honey’ to her? Kim set her bag on the table and looked around the room, wondering how previous occupants had used it. Who would have thought that the rebel effort would rely so heavily on the shoulders of society’s forgotten daughters? Then again, was it really a surprise, given the fact that their very lives depended on practical survival skills? Helping the resistance was simply the best way for them to survive, as they were protected by the very fifth column they were aiding. The inside information they had access to helped them avoid the raids that removed the other prostitutes from the Visitor-sanitized streets. And the fifth columnists on the ships were careful to send advance warnings of all such raids, with the realization that one of them could be the next columnist to run from the ship in need of a safe place to hide.

“You just make yourself comfortable, honey, and let Angel know if you need anything. Bathroom’s just down the hall on the left. I’ve got some magazines in my room if you want something to read while you wait.”

Kim hesitated, wondering what sorts of reading material were being offered. “I would like that, thank you,” she lied, feeling it would be rude to refuse.

“Okay, honey, I’ll go get them.” Angel turned to go, then stopped and looked back at her. “You want a blanket or something?”

A blanket would do a Visitor little good, if he were already cold. “Does Paul use one?” Kim asked carefully, hoping the question would seem appropriate for an alien out of her element.

Angel shook her head and laughed. “One of the girls sleeps with him to keep him warm. We don’t mind.” Her face took on a serious expression as she continued, “He says what he means and he doesn’t try anything. Not that I’d mind if he _did_ try something, if you catch my meaning.” She winked. “Tell ya what, I’ll bring you a blanket, and if you get cold, you come find me tonight, okay?”

Kim nodded, touched by the gesture of kindness. “Thank you.”

As soon as Angel was out of sight, she allowed herself to sigh in disgust as she looked about the room again. The thin mattress smelled moldy and was covered by a stained sheet. The pillow looked at least a hundred years old and was as soft as a concrete slab. Who knew what the blanket Angel was bringing would look like. Kim wrinkled her nose, wondering how people managed to live their whole lives in these conditions.

She sat down on the bed, staring at the floor. Was she doing the right thing? It occurred to her as she looked at her shoes that the floor beneath them was freshly mopped. A more careful examination of the room revealed it had been recently cleaned. No dust or cobwebs could be found lurking in the corners. In spite of the condition of the furniture, someone took pride in this sorry place. Kim realized with chagrin how snobbish her attitude had been and resolved to treat these women with the respect they deserved. After all the things she had done, it was hardly fair for her to judge them.

True to her word, Angel returned with a blanket and an armful of magazines. Kim was surprised by both. The blanket was soft and smelled freshly laundered. The magazines were a diverse selection, ranging from _Reader’s Notes_ to the _National Sleaze._

When she was alone again and the door was closed, Kim treated herself to a supper of peanut butter and crackers from the stash of food she had packed in her bag of clothes. It had been a tiring day, and she fell asleep almost immediately after lying down under the blanket.

 

She woke early the next morning and had a breakfast from the same food stash her supper had come from. With a full stomach, she settled back on the bed and resumed her reading. A knock at the door made her jump, but she composed herself before answering. “Come in.”

An exotic-looking woman she had not met before opened the door and looked in. She was still dressed for working the streets and her dark brown eyes looked tired. “My name is Brandie. Paul wanted me to tell you the fellow you’re going with, Damian, is here. Do you need any help with your things?”

Her voice had a distinct Mexican accent, and Kim suspected one of her parents was of so-called “Hispanic” origin. Beneath the gaudy makeup and almost indecent clothing, Kim saw the potential for a beautiful woman, a diamond in the rough. It made her wonder what in their pasts had driven these women to their current profession. Shaking off her reverie, Kim swung her feet over the edge of the bed and set the magazine aside. “No, but thank you. I’ll be there shortly. Will you thank Angel again for me when you see her? The reading material has been very interesting.”

“Sure thing. Take care of yourself, you hear?” she said before closing the door again.

Kim folded the blanket and stacked the magazines in a neat pile on the table before leaving the room. She hoped she wasn’t making a mistake in continuing her pretense of being a Visitor, but anything seemed better than going back to the lab and being alone.

*****

When she reached Paul’s office, she found the door open. He waved for her to come in and indicated the other Visitor. “This is Damian.”

Kim smiled shyly and clasped his upraised hand in greeting while she studied him. He was rather handsome, by human standards, and had a friendly manner about him. His eyes were dark brown, like his hair, and filled with warmth. Dressed in blue-jeans, a flannel shirt, and sneakers, he looked like any other human. Only his voice betrayed his origin, reverberating like Paul’s and her own. “Are you ready?”

Kim nodded, then turned to Paul and held up her hand. “Thank you, Paul.”

He clasped it and smiled back at her. “Thank you, for suggesting we set up here.”

*****

Damian led her to an unmarked blue car that was parked outside along the curb.

“Where did you get the car?” she asked, surprised. The Visitor cars were all white and marked with the Leader’s symbol on the doors.

“It’s stolen,” he said, smiling at her. “Got it in a section of town that’s already in custody, which is good, since without the keys I wouldn’t know how to start it.” He unlocked her door for her and went around to the driver’s side to get in. Once they were under way, he tried to draw her out. “How long have you been on the surface?”

“A couple of weeks,” Kim answered. “I had something I had to do before going to Paul.”

“What was your position on the ship?”

“First lieutenant in security. But I’ve been working mostly in the processing area, putting the humans into storage. What about you?”

“Computer technician. I guess you got to interact with some of them, then?”

Kim nodded. “Some, but mostly after they were in custody and too terrified to talk.”

“Still, I envy you. I hadn’t even been to the surface before I had to leave the ship. The only humans I had talked with were some of the press during the initial tours of the mothership. Now that I’ve been on the surface for a while, I’m even more convinced the fifth column is doing the right thing.”

“Actually, I’m glad to be off the ship. I know we’re still in danger, but it feels safer,” Kim said carefully. She hoped she could avoid outright lies and simply allow the others to assume she was Sirian and not human. She still hadn’t decided what she would do, though if someone asked questions that would give her away.

“I understand, believe me. And you’ll find it is nice to sleep knowing that someone else is standing guard for you. In fact, it makes up for the food selection we have.” He laughed. “I hope you like hamburger and chicken, because it is pretty much all the meat we can get. Paul keeps the money coming somehow, and we buy it at a store not far from us.”

“No one gets suspicious?”

Damian smiled and glanced at her, meeting her eyes through the sunglasses they both wore. “Well, we make a point of buying other things, too. I have no idea what most of it is, and I can’t say I’m curious enough to try it. But we still have it all stacked in the office if you feel adventurous.”

“Where are you staying?” Kim asked, beginning to relax. She liked Damian. He was friendly and honest, and seemed to want to make her comfortable after what he assumed to be a frantic escape from the mothership.

“Are you familiar with the movie business? The humans filmed them in these large buildings. They’ve been abandoned for months now, which works for us, since we have a tanker that needs repairs and we can keep it inside while we work on it. Actually, these buildings are each large enough for several shuttles. The one we’re in has a couple of small offices in it, and a refrigerator where we can keep food. All we really need is cages for animals, and we’d be living in relative luxury.”

*****

Damian kept up his friendly chatter for the rest of the drive and explained that Paul had already told him about her medical condition. Before she could even think of a way to respond, he had changed the subject, telling her about the other fifth columnists she would be living with. Blaine and Alan were both low-level security guards and had been on the surface for a couple of months. They had both been active in the fifth column, although Alan had some doubts about the intelligence of humans. In his defense, he had never interacted with any of them. Ted was from the cryogenics unit and had worked extensively with humans on the surface, assisting in the manufacture of the chemical the Visitors claimed to need to save their world. Like the others, he strongly believed in the fifth column’s cause, and was endlessly curious about human culture. He also held the highest rank and was the leader of their small group, by unspoken agreement. Darlene was the only female in their unit, and Kim’s stomach knotted when Damian confided Darlene’s opinion that the humans were as dumb as rats.

“Then why is she involved in the fifth column?” Kim couldn’t help but ask in a subdued voice.

“Because she wants the Leader to be overthrown, and the fifth column is the only organized force that opposes him,” he answered in a tone that matched hers. He went on to confide that none of them really liked Darlene so much as they tolerated her. After all, where else could she go?


	2. Up by the Bootstraps

 

Kim couldn’t help but gawk at the numerous buildings that covered the studio lot and hoped her curiosity didn’t seem too out of place.

Damian watched her and smiled. “Amazing, isn’t it, the amount of space they have to build in?”

Kim knew that on the Sirian home world, cities started at the surface and tunneled underground. The surface was mostly barren and uninhabitable, with wildly fluctuating temperatures. Being underground assisted greatly in climate control, a vital necessity for ectothermic beings such as the Visitors. Heat from the surface was simply redistributed to the lower levels as needed. She nodded absently at Damian’s comment and continued to watch the scenery.

He pulled the car right up to a door on the end of one of the buildings, and it opened obligingly. As he pulled the vehicle inside, Kim caught a glimpse of the Visitor who was standing guard and had opened the door for him.

That’s Darlene,” Damian said quietly, confirming her suspicion as he drove towards the center of the building. “Don’t be surprised if she starts in with the anti-human comments immediately. It’s just the way she is,” he warned before turning off the engine.

Kim got out carefully, removing her sunglasses so she could better look around. The vast space dwarfed the tanker shuttle that had been parked at the end furthest from the door they had come through. Nearby, light spilled from an open door, and the table of food partly visible inside the room indicated to Kim this was one of the offices Damian had talked about. He led her instead to the other office, where a Visitor in human clothing was listening to messages being sent between shuttles and the mothership. Salvaged equipment from shuttles and cars had been assembled on the desk. The cramped space also housed a filing cabinet and four straight-backed chairs. The menagerie of wires and other devices on the desk evoked images of an electrician practicing knot-tying with the tools of his craft. Still, the sound was clear as different Visitors communicated from their vehicles.

“Karen, this is Ted.”

Kim took another step forward and prepared to grasp his hand when another voice interrupted. “So, are you infatuated with the humans, too?”

Kim turned and made an effort to keep her expression pleasant. “I admit I’m somewhat partial to the species, yes. You must be Darlene.” Kim held up her hand, which Darlene ignored, so she dropped it back to her side. She glanced at Damian, who quirked a corner of his mouth at her and rolled his eyes.

“Darlene, have you been relieved?”

She sighed belligerently. “No, Ted. I just came to say hello,” she snapped at him before heading back to her post.

Kim turned back to Ted and grasped the offered hand. “Is she always so....” Kim broke off, searching for the right word.

“Obnoxious? I fear so,” Ted said as he rose to his feet. “She blames the humans for every discomfort that befalls her. Welcome.” His mask was patterned after the people native to East Asia, although she was uncertain which country he would be native to if he were from Earth. Kim estimated she was an inch or so taller than the Visitor.

He turned his attention next to Damian, who stood protectively at her elbow. “Any problems?”

Damian shook his head. “Paul sent more money,” he answered, handing Ted a wad of cash that Kim estimated to be about a hundred dollars. Ted took it and placed it in a drawer of the desk at which he had been sitting.

Kim knelt and opened her duffel bag. Pushing aside her uniform, she fished out the cash she had obtained. “I have a human contact, also, who gave me some currency,” Kim said and handed two hundred dollars over to him. It was all she had stored in her house, although she knew she could get more from an automatic teller using the bank card still hidden in the bag.

“Your contact, is he or she a member of the resistance?” Ted asked.

“No. She’s been working independently of the other humans. I’m supposed to call her every few days to check for new messages from some fifth columnists who may not know how to contact Paul. She can be trusted.”

Ted nodded. “Why don’t you put your things in the shuttle and get familiar with your new surroundings. We can show you how to work this unique collection of equipment later. I know it can seem disorienting to be off the ship, but you’re fortunate to be here at all. And don’t let Darlene taint your view of the humans.”

“I don’t think anything Darlene says could change my view of them, but I may try to change her views.”

“If you succeed, we’ll send Diana to you for treatment next,” Damian muttered, loudly enough for both of them to hear, then nodded his head towards the tanker. “I’ll show you which bunk you can claim in the shuttle.”

Kim picked up her bag and followed him across the concrete floor and up the ramp. The back section of the tanker had three tiers of bunks that folded up into the walls when not in use. Since the tanker was not in active service, the bunks had been left down and several had uniforms and civilian clothes lying on them.

Damian removed the clothing from the lowest bunk on the back wall and moved it to the bunk above it. “Take the bottom one, it will be easier to get in and out of as time goes on,” he said kindly.

Kim set her bag on it and nodded in agreement. She hoped none of her roommates snored, then belatedly wondered if any Visitors did.

“You hungry?”

“A little.”

“Then I’ll show you where the food is kept.”

The glimpse of the table she’d had when she had first arrived had been too brief to allow for identification of the contents. Now, on closer inspection, she had to fight not to laugh. To try to cover her amusement, she handled some of the items and feigned amazement. “What is all of this?”

“I have no idea. Most of it is cheap, so it doesn’t matter. There were a few things that started to smell bad and turn strange colors, so we got rid of them. If you want to try them, I see little risk for you.”

Kim looked over the array. Two five-pound bags of flour, a jar of mayonnaise, and a box of cereal were piled next to cans of green beans and soup. There were bags of uncooked noodles and rice, boxes of instant pudding and gelatin, and a bottle of... was that syrup? Kim moved the rice that was hiding it and picked up the bottle: maple syrup. She also spotted a container of vegetable shortening, packages of cookies, and a jar of spiced salt. It was painfully obvious that the individual who had selected these items for purchase had no concept of how they were to be prepared or used. And without so much as a manual can-opener, even the soup was inaccessible to her.

She picked up one of the cans. “How are these supposed to be opened?”

“Now that you mention it...” Damian took it from her and turned it over in his hands. “I don’t know. I’m sure they have some tool to use.”

“I think I would like to visit a store where these things were purchased.”

“Sure. One of us will probably go within the next couple of days,” Damian agreed, then retrieved packages of meat from the refrigerator. Kim took a large handful of hamburger and ingested it slowly while Damian devoured several pieces of chicken. The raw meat, which once made her ill on sight, now tasted delicious. Would it have the same appeal to her once the time of her pregnancy had passed?

“Where is everyone else?” she asked between mouthfuls.

“Alan’s warning another group of a raid. Blaine is probably mingling with troops on the street. We all take shifts, and only have one person stand guard during the day, simply because there are so few of us. At night, two keep watch.”

“How much useful information comes from monitoring? I can’t imagine it’s very interesting.”

“Actually, quite a bit. The fifth column on the ship hides messages on another frequency and gives us a lot of news that way. I’ve rigged a decoder that separates that signal from the main one. We’ve set up a recording system for those hidden messages, so you don’t have to scramble to memorize every word. They’ve also been broadcasting warnings to the humans from the beginning, but so far it doesn’t look like anyone has found them.” Damian couldn’t hide his pride at his own involvement in the operation. Though the lack of human response had been disappointing, it was always possible they had found the messages and simply neglected to reply.

“What’s Martin like?” he asked, changing the subject.

“What do you mean?”

“You know his reputation! Everyone says he’s aloof, stuck on following procedure, keeps to himself. But then he surprised all of us by claiming a consort, one that wasn’t known to be fifth column.”

“News travels,” Kim said wryly.

“Fifth column gossip is the best kind. Why’d he pick you?” he persisted.

“I’m hardly the only one to use that guise to convey information to him.”

“No, but you’re the most recent, most visible, and I dare say, longest lasting,” Damian said.

Damn his charm! Even by Visitor standards, his questions were rather direct and unexpected. Yet his charisma disarmed her before she could even think of being annoyed. “Let’s just say I made him an offer he couldn’t refuse.”

“You threatened him?” Damian was incredulous.

“Of course not! I simply had access to information he could obtain nowhere else.” Kim hoped that was enough of an answer and changed the subject. “Tell me about Darlene.”

“Not much to tell. She won’t talk about her past. Won’t even say why she had to leave the ship. But the column has confirmed her loyalty in spite of her attitude, so we tolerate her.”

“So, it’s possible she has never met a human, even though she claims to hate them.”

“It’s not like the humans come up to the ship looking for conversation.”

Kim smiled back at him, feeling more secure in her role now that the topic was moving further away from herself. “Are all the other buildings like this one, or do they have things in them?”

“I don’t know. Ted found this place; you could ask him.”

“I will. I was thinking it might be worth looking to see what might be in them. If they made movies here, they must have had furniture and other items. Maybe there is something we could use to cage animals. We could move them here after it gets dark. If you have time now, I’m willing to go look. With two of us, I would think it is safe enough.”

“Good idea. Do you have a firearm?”

“In the shuttle.”

“Go get it while I ask him.”

Kim nodded and went to do as he requested. If they could find the props building, surely they could find some decent chairs and other items to make this place more comfortable. And there had to be something that could be used for cages. And then she could get animals and supplies at some pet stores. Andy always favored the store... Kim’s thoughts broke off abruptly as a fresh wave of pain washed over her. It was best not to dwell on such things. Today was what she had to think about, today and the living. If she could make life easier for the fifth columnists, maybe she could forget her own misery.

*****

“Hello?” Judy’s voice came through the receiver.

“It’s me. Don’t say my name,” Kim said quickly. The sound of Judy’s voice made her long for home. She paused, waiting for a person to pass her before she continued.

“Are you all right?” Judy asked.

“Yes. I’m at a pay phone, so it can’t be traced to where I’m staying. I’m doing okay. Are there any messages?”

“No. But you did have a couple of friends come through here awhile ago. Your... sister and her gentleman friend.”

Kim realized Judy was referring to Jackie and Philip. “How were they?”

“Your sister has seen better times, but the other one was taking good care of her. Said he knew you.”

Kim smiled at the knowledge that Philip had been thinking of her. “Did they set out for the rising sun?”

There was silence while Judy deciphered her meaning. Rising sun? Kim must mean east, to Phoenix. “Yes,” she answered.

“Okay. I’ll call in about a week. Try not to worry. I’m in less danger now than I was before. Believe that. ’Bye.” Kim hung up before Judy had a chance to reply.

Unbidden tears came to her eyes and she blinked rapidly, willing herself to bury the emotion and return to the sound stage. She had volunteered to go to the store this time, so that she could call Judy from the pay phone located outside the store. It had also provided her with an opportunity to add her own choices to the assortment of provisions at the sound stage.

She braced her hand against the building and bent her knees, reaching for the handles of the plastic bags sitting at her feet. Being pregnant was not much fun; it was changing her body in too many ways. Next time, she would remember to call _before_ doing the shopping.

*****

“I don’t think we can wait any longer,” Megan said, rolling onto her back. She and Philip had retreated to one of the bedrooms upstairs, knowing Drew was monitoring Jackie’s activities. Her hand toyed with the hem of the sheet that Philip had drawn across them. “She isn’t getting better. If anything, she’s getting worse.”

Philip sighed. The Visitors had decided amongst themselves to wait another week after the incident with the piano to see if her mental condition would stabilize. They had believed it had, until Jackie confided this morning that she was beginning to experience a strong compulsion to return to the mothership. “We need to think of a way to get her to Los Angeles without encountering any troops, and I don’t think it’s possible.”

“We can’t stay here forever. If we do, I think Drew will head for the ship himself,” Megan replied.

“I don’t understand his attitude,” Philip said.

Megan turned her head to look at him. “He didn’t join the fifth column by choice. He never wanted to get involved.”

“Neither did I. That’s no excuse.”

“What do you mean? You broke Jackie out of custody and left the ship with her.”

“That was the second time I left the ship. The first time was not by choice,” he said softly, watching her reactions carefully.

“Go on,” Megan prodded.

Philip hesitated. Should he tell her the truth? The sense of isolation he felt was becoming unbearable. Megan had proven herself in many ways to him with her loyalty to Jackie and her fierce determination to aid the fifth column. And in the short time he had known her, she had become a close friend, someone he could depend on to watch his back. He’d already taken a greater risk when he had decided to trust Kim.

Remembering that decided him. “I was assigned to take a human scientist into custody. We went to her house looking for her. I went to the basement, where she took me prisoner. She had hidden rooms down there, and when the others came looking for me, it appeared that I had vanished.”

Megan’s look was one of astonishment. “How did you escape?”

“I didn’t. The door had a special lock on it, and I didn’t get time to myself to try to figure it out. At first I assumed she’d try to torture me, or use me for some of her experiments. But all she wanted from me was information. She never threatened me or harmed me in any way. On the contrary, I ended up helping her figure out how to infiltrate the ship to find her brother. When she was ready, I decided to go back to the ship myself.”

“Weren’t you questioned about your absence?”

“They never knew I was missing. The real Jacob is dead. I took his mask and assumed his role, just as Kim did for another Visitor.”

“This woman, Kim, where is she now?”

“On the ship, active within the fifth column. It was through her I was asked to get Jackie out. Kim knows her, and got permission from the column for her to be released. Jackie and I actually met once, at Kim’s house, but she doesn’t realize I’m the same person. Nor does she know where Kim is. When I first got her off the ship, I didn’t know how much damage had been done, so told her nothing. And the way she is now, I still don’t think she should be told.”

“I agree,” Megan said, then sat up, trying to absorb this new information. “Kim is on the ship, as one of us, and no one knows?” The disbelief she felt was evident in her voice.

“One other fifth columnist on the ship knows, and is helping her. But she is living life as we would, including eating our food.”

“The human culture views sexual relations very differently,” she said, looking sideways at him.

“Yes, but she quickly moved past that. Believe me, she can play her part very convincingly,” he said, amused at her surprise.

Megan just stared at him.

“Someone had to show her,” Philip added in a matter-of-fact tone before smiling at her.

“Show me,” Megan asked.

“What?” His brow furrowed. What did Megan need to know about lovemaking? She had already proven herself to be quite knowledgeable on the subject.

“The human way. Show me,” she said and lay down next to him again. He seemed hesitant, so she encouraged him. “I admit to curiosity, and have no desire to learn from a human,” she whispered seductively before she intertwined her tongue with his. This was going to be _very_ interesting. His touch had been maddeningly exotic from the beginning, and now she believed she knew why. Without realizing it, he had adopted some of the ways of the human woman he had aided. There was no telling what other delights awaited her. They could decide how to deal with Jackie later.

*****

Much later in the afternoon, Philip and Megan went downstairs to relieve Drew of his shift. They found Jackie in the kitchen, staring at a round gray object that sat on the table before her.

“What is that?” Megan asked in passing, preoccupied with finding something to eat. She opened the freezer and began to sort through the pitiful selection yet again, hoping that this time a new option awaited her.

“It’s how we’re going to get to L.A. without me getting us all killed,” Jackie said in a disaffected tone.

Megan shut the freezer door and turned to Jackie, who now had her full attention. “What is it?”

“Duct tape.” Jackie tossed it into the air and caught it easily in her left hand. “Catch,” she said and tossed it to Philip.

He turned it over in his hands, then looked back at Jackie. “What is your idea?”

“You all have uniforms. The fastest way to get back to Los Angeles is on a shuttle. Capturing a human resistance member who escaped from custody once before should be reason enough to be given a shuttle.” Jackie stared hard at the roll of tape. “I don’t know how much longer I’m going to be in control of my actions. But if you bind my hands with that, and tape my mouth shut, it won’t matter. I won’t be able to say anything to give us away, and no amount of struggling will free my hands from that tape, believe me. So it won’t matter if I give in to the compulsions Diana programmed me with. What chance does one brain-damaged trussed-up human stand against the three of you?”

“Jackie, even being on a shuttle could enhance the effects of the conversion. Are you sure you want to take that risk?” Philip asked, concerned. Another part of him had already decided it was the only chance they had of getting to the L.A. fifth column.

“Anything is better than sitting here. Physically, I’m fine. So let’s go somewhere where I can be locked up safely while you help the resistance. We can go to my friend Kim’s house while you try to contact the column. There is a hidden room in the basement, with only one exit to guard. Kim may have found the resistance by now, and left me a message on how to contact her. If not, you’ll have to contact the column on your own. You can decide what we are to do after that, and what to do with me.”

Jackie’s voice grew increasingly soft and Megan and Philip had to step closer to her so they could hear her next words. “We can’t stay here much longer anyway. It is too easy for me to escape and you cannot imagine how strong these compulsions are becoming.” Jackie bowed her head, not wanting them to see the tears that threatened to run down her cheeks.

Philip lifted her chin, forcing her to look at him. “I promise you, I will not let you go back to the ship. Diana is not going to practice her arts on you again.”

Jackie looked back at him with anguished eyes. “She doesn’t need to. The damage has already been done.”

*****

Life at the sound stage had settled into a comfortable routine for Kim. She felt at ease with the Visitors in a way she never had while on the ship, mainly because she knew her current companions could be trusted. Although she still continued her masquerade, she knew that a slip would only invoke Darlene’s wrath, rather than the fatal consequences she had faced on the ship. The pseudoskin covering her abdomen was stretched taught, but it appeared to Kim that it still had enough give to it to last through her entire pregnancy, if need be.

In sharp contrast to the other Visitors, Darlene was a source of constant irritation. Kim had tried to be patient, tried to initiate conversations with the abrasive woman, but Darlene made it clear her advances were unwelcome. The Visitor was both alone and miserable, and seemed intent on remaining that way. After several attempts, Kim resigned herself to the situation and left her alone.

*****

“I can’t believe we’re risking our lives to save these idiots,” Darlene snapped.

She was taking her turn monitoring the radio. Although Kim and Damian were in the next room eating, they could hear her easily. Damian leaned closer to Kim and said softly. “Here comes the announcement of the latest troop success.”

“The entire town of Huntington Beach has been taken up to the ship. And there is not a single reported incidence of resistance. Not one!” They heard Darlene say.

Kim fought back a giggle. The Visitors didn’t laugh on their own in response to humor, but a few had adopted the mannerism to better emulate humans. She knew if she dissolved into uncontrollable fits of laughter, the noise, combined with the tears running down her cheeks, would expose her identity.

“Now comes the commentary on their lack of intelligence,” Damian whispered conspiratorially.

Darlene continued on cue. “How can they be so stupid? Tens of thousands of them are missing, and the ones left behind don’t even notice.”

“Next she’ll mock the Leader,” Damian said. His eyes twinkled at Kim as they waited for Darlene to make her next comment.

“We’re supposed to be overthrowing the Leader, not forwarding his causes,” Darlene declared loudly.

Kim looked at Damian and raised an eyebrow. That wasn’t what he had predicted.

Damian winked at her, then raised his voice. “Darlene, you forgot to mock the Leader. You’re supposed to do that BEFORE you restate the fifth column goals, not after.”

Kim’s jaw dropped at the audacity of his comment and he simply shrugged his shoulders at her.

“Mock me all you want, Damian,” Darlene fired back. “You know I’m right, even if you won’t admit it. We’re risking our lives to save six billion hairy idiots.”

Kim’s own temper flared and she jumped into the exchange. “And they never asked a bunch of scaly, arrogant tyrants to harvest them as dinner!” She marched to the next room, Damian following behind her. “You judge them so harshly for how they view us, for the necessity of the masks... you mock their ignorance, insult their intelligence, and refuse to try to understand them. Tell me this, Darlene, since you’re so much better than they are. How did you react when you first saw a human? Were you taken with their beauty? Or repulsed? Did you look forward to putting on the pseudoskin, or dread it? You judge them harshly for their reactions to us... did you ever stop to consider you’re just as xenophobic as they are? And worst of all, you have the gall to proclaim your superiority over people you don’t even know.”

“And how many humans do you know?” Darlene retorted.

“More than you do, I guarantee it,” Kim said through clenched teeth. She could feel her face growing hot under the pseudoskin and she knew her eyes were smoldering.

“Name them,” Darlene challenged.

“After you,” Kim countered. Darlene hesitated, groping for any name she could think of. Kim watched her jaw work, and she advanced to where the hostile Visitor was sitting. “I thought not. You can’t even name one. Do us all a favor and shut the hell up,” Kim said, then turned and strode out of the office. She had lost her appetite, and instead of returning to the food room, she retreated into the shuttle. As angry as she was at Darlene, she was frustrated with herself for allowing Darlene to provoke her. She flung herself into one of the seats in the cockpit and stared at the darkened windows, waiting for the fit of anger to pass.

Damian had followed her, and he sat down in the other seat in the cockpit. “Feel better?” he asked, smiling at her.

“Actually...” Kim turned towards him and saw his grin. Her own anger dissipated and she broke into a smile. “That felt wonderful! I’m ashamed to say it, but I’ve wanted to do that for days!”

“We all have, and I admit I enjoyed watching you give it to her.” He got up and moved over to the exposed panel behind his seat. “So, how did you first react?”

“To what?”

“The thought of pretending to be human, knowing you’d have to wear the pseudoskin,” he clarified as he began to work. His self-assigned task was to rewire the shuttle circuitry so the ship would function without the homing device he had removed.

Kim often kept him company while he labored, and he seemed to enjoy their conversations as much as she did. Many conversations were about Earth and its inhabitants, a topic she was quite comfortable with. When the conversation moved in the direction of their own pasts, she was usually able to steer it away from herself by getting him to do most of the talking. She would offer up an observation, and he would expand upon it, leaving her to sit back and absorb whatever he chose to divulge. On occasion, though, he asked his disconcertingly direct questions and she groped for answers that were at least partially truthful. This was such a time.

She swung her seat around so it faced him and propped her feet up on the other seat. “Well, more than anything else, I saw posing as a different species to be a challenge. There are so many things to remember, from body language to cultural taboos. I guess I mainly felt overwhelmed. What about you?”

“Not so fast.” He paused from his task and looked intently at her. “Not even a twinge of revulsion?”

Kim thought back to her first conversations with Philip, then shook her head. Surprise, interest, fascination... she had felt all of those. But revulsion? She could honestly say she didn’t remember having that feeling, so she shook her head.

“How did you manage to avoid that?” he asked before turning back to the task before him.

“I really don’t know,” Kim said, then turned his inquiry back on him. “What about you? How did you react?”

“I was repulsed, at first. But the more I learned about them, the more I realized how similar we are, in spite of our differences,” he admitted.

Kim’s hand absently went to her growing abdomen. “More similar than any of us realized,” she said too softly for him to hear.

“Now I just hope we can win this war so I get a chance to know them better,” he added.

“Even if we don’t win, I’m certain you’ll get your chance,” Kim said quietly

“You sound confident,” he commented.

Kim smiled to herself, but said nothing.

*****

As they had feared, Jackie deteriorated visibly after they boarded the shuttle. Even though her arms were bound behind her and her mouth taped, she had struggled to reach the loyal guards of the craft, and then the pilot. Behind the looks of hatred she kept throwing towards her friends there was a glimmer of awareness, a sense that she knew what she was doing and was helpless to stop herself.

Philip finally gave up hope that she would be able to control herself and pushed her down into a chair. He held her there firmly while Megan fastened a restraining belt over her lap. They dared not even squeeze her shoulder in silent encouragement; it was too risky, given the presence of their pilot. Essential personal belongings had been crammed into one duffel bag and were being brought along under the guise of evidence against the prisoner. Fortunately, no one had questioned them and looked inside, where they would have seen contact lens cases and civilian clothing- hardly the tools of warfare.

Drew kept a neutral appearance, trying to act the part of a disinterested guard. Megan suspected it wasn’t much of an effort for him and cast that problem from her mind. They had enough to deal with without her creating additional problems.

“Taking her to the L.A. ship, huh? Must be a real prize you got there, if you’re taking her to Diana,” the pilot said as he shut the ramp behind them and slid into his seat at the controls.

“Indeed. Diana will be most pleased when we arrive,” Megan replied coolly. She glanced at Philip. A talkative pilot was the last thing they needed! He looked back at her with the same thoughts mirrored in his eyes.

Megan turned her attention to Jackie and watched as the human’s gaze darted around the interior of the craft. Clearly, she was looking for a weapon, or some way to escape. Resigned, Megan drew out the roll of duct tape she had put in the vest of her uniform and tore off a large piece. She tried to ignore the pleading look in Jackie’s eyes as she focused instead on pressing the tape into place, effectively blindfolding her. Philip glanced at her grimly, then nodded his agreement.

*****


	3. Trials in Travel

 

As they neared L.A., Megan moved to the front of the craft and sat down in the co-pilot’s seat. Drew casually walked up behind her, still out of sight of the pilot, but ready to assist if necessary.

“Are we almost there?” Megan asked innocently.

“Affirmative. Would you like to radio ahead and have extra guards summoned to take charge of your prisoner? It would free you to reap the benefits of Diana’s praise immediately upon arrival.”

“That won’t be necessary,” Megan said smoothly as she turned in her chair and aimed her laser pistol at him. “We aren’t going to the mothership. If you try to radio for backup, you’ll be dead in an instant.”

“As you wish. We fifth columnists always help each other, right?”

Megan’s eyes narrowed as she looked at him, but she felt a hesitation in her gut. It _was_ possible he was allied with the fifth column. “Then prove yourself. Name your fifth column commander.”

“The one directly above me, or the commander on the L.A. ship?” the soldier said smoothly.

“Either.” Damn, he was good, she thought to herself. Still, this could be a trap. “No, both,” she said, amending her previous statement. She watched him carefully. Any second now, he’d either try to disarm her or speak a name. She saw his hands tremble at the controls and she fired into his side, killing him instantly. Then she laid her pistol in her lap and turned her attention to the console that controlled their flight. “Jacob,” she called, summoning him.

He left Jackie and moved into the forward section, and Drew moved to the rear to keep an eye on Jackie. “Yes?”

“Where should we set down? Jackie said she wanted to go back to the place you were before. Do you know where it is?”

“I think I can find it,” he said, lifting the body of the dead pilot out of the other seat so he could sit there. They would have to dispose of that later. For now, he needed to help Megan. With regret at the necessity for the killing, he left the man’s limp form in a crumpled heap on the floor behind him. “But we’ll need to set down somewhere nearby, then go the rest of the way by car. A sentry point would probably give us the best access.”

“As soon as they find his body, they’ll know to come after us,” Megan reminded him as she glanced at the corpse.

“Not if there is no body here for them to find,” he replied as he took over the controls and turned the shuttle to head out over the ocean.

*****

Philip pounded on the back door to Judy’s home, hoping she would answer the door. They had hidden the car in the garage next door, though Philip didn’t let on that he had been to Kim’s house before, other than answering an inquiring nod from Megan with a nod of his own. Jackie was still bound and blindfolded, and Philip and Megan had each taken one of Jackie’s arms firmly in their own, guiding her and supporting her when she stumbled.

Philip tried not to show his relief when the door opened.

“Jacob...” Judy started to greet him. Through the security peephole, she had recognized his face. Now, with the door open, she realized he was not alone, and that Jackie was bound and gagged. “Come on in,” she said, recovering. She swung the door wide and stepped aside.

“We need something to cut the tape on her hands. A knife, perhaps?” Philip suggested as Drew pushed the door shut behind him.

“Mom?” Jeremy asked softly, coming into the room.

Jackie’s head lifted, turning towards the sound of her son’s voice.

With one hand still under her arm exerting gentle pressure, Philip guided Jackie forward into the kitchen. He took the knife Judy offered and worked at the tape binding her hands while Jeremy gently removed the tape from her mouth.

As soon as her hands came free, she massaged her wrists to restore circulation to the stiff joints. Then she carefully pulled the tape from her eyes. Thankfully, Megan had placed the tape very gently across her face, and only a few lashes came loose in the adhesive as she pulled the tape away. Blinking in the sudden brightness, she opened her arms and hugged Jeremy to her. “You’ve grown,” she said in a hoarse voice.

Judy produced a glass of water in record time and handed it to her. She gulped it appreciatively, still hugging Jeremy with her other arm. “I’m glad we don’t have to do that again any time soon.” She turned to the Visitors who were watching her carefully. “Thanks. Sorry I was such a handful. It was worse than I thought it was going to be.”

“What was?” Jeremy asked.

“The effects of the brainwashing I endured when I was on the ship. Suffice it to say, Diana was more effective than we first thought.” She leaned heavily on her son, feeling fatigued. “Can we go sit down?”

“I’m sorry! Where are my manners? Come in, sit down. Can I get any of you anything?” Judy asked, recovering from shock.

“Water,” Drew said quietly. Finally, someone was going to notice he was here!

“How about you?” Judy asked, looking at Megan, then Philip. They both nodded. “Go sit down. I’ll bring it in.”

Philip hung back, waiting for the others to go to the living room. “Have you heard from Kim?” he asked softly while Judy retrieved glasses from the cupboard.

She bowed her head. “She left a note for me a few weeks ago. Andy’s dead.” The tears welled up in her eyes and she tried to ignore them. “She calls every few days now, asking if you or a couple of others have come. She will be calling again today or tomorrow, I expect. Do I dare tell Jackie?” Judy filled two glasses and handed them to Philip to carry.

“She’s going to ask, so it can’t be avoided. Just don’t mention my involvement. She still doesn’t know about that,” Philip said, as she filled more glasses and then picked up the drinks to take in. He waited for her nod and then followed her into the living room where the others were already seated.

“Here,” Judy said, handing the glasses of water to the two Visitors who were sitting on her living room sofa. “By the way, my name is Judy, and that’s Jackie’s son, Jeremy,” she said with a gentle smile.

“Thank you,” Megan said, accepting the drink gratefully. “I’m Megan, and this is Drew.”

Philip looked around the room, thinking of the last time he had been here. Jeremy and Jackie were on the adjacent love seat. One of the dogs, the larger one that had barked and carried on when Philip and Jackie had first come, was lying quietly on the floor by the fireplace, per Jeremy’s command. The smaller dog, Philip noted, was squirming within Jeremy’s grasp, and Judy took him into her own arms in an attempt to calm him as she sat down in a nearby chair, leaving the rocking chair for Philip.

“Have you heard from Kim?” Jackie asked, accepting the glass of water Philip offered her.

“Yes.” Judy looked at the floor, then at Jackie. “She’s okay, but... Andy’s dead.”

“No.” Jackie held a fist to her mouth, rocking slightly as she assimilated the horrible news. Tears streamed down her cheeks unheeded. “How?”

“I don’t know. Kim left me a note in her house several weeks ago. All she said was that Andrew was dead and that he hadn’t suffered. Since then, she has been calling every few days, to see if anyone has come here to get in touch with her. If the pattern holds, she’ll call today or tomorrow.”

“Has she said where she is? What she’s doing?”

“She tells me very little and always calls from a pay phone. She has told me that she is in less danger now than she was before.”

“And we’re supposed to find that comforting? I guess we can stay here until she calls. It sounds like she’s connected to the resistance somehow, and we can join up through her. I do want to check her house, though. She may have left another message there.”

Mentally, Philip echoed her sentiments. Sometime tonight he had to get over there.

“What happened in Phoenix?” Jeremy broke in, changing the subject back to his mother.

“Don’t ask,” she answered softly.

“Are you going to be okay? Are you still bleeding?” Jeremy persisted.

“I’ll be fine, honey. And my stomach has healed. After all these years, I finally have washboard abs. Remind me to thank Diana for that someday,” she joked bitterly and pulled him to her for another hug. She had no desire to recall the hell she had endured as the conversion’s effects became more evident. The journey from Phoenix today was something she never wanted to think about again. Diana’s physical tortures couldn’t come close to inflicting the pain she had endured as she was trapped inside a body that responded to commands not her own. The compulsion to return to the mothership had overwhelmed her. Had it not been for the duct tape that kept her helpless, she would have betrayed them all.

*****

Martin lay in bed trying desperately to find solace in sleep. What was the passage Karen had recited one night as they discussed the terrifying existence they led on the ship? “The masses of men lead lives of quiet desperation.” She’d attributed it to Henry David Thoreau, though the reference meant nothing to him. Quiet desperation. The phrase had echoed in his mind since that night. It certainly described his life now. Endless shifts that blurred into double shifts, followed by hours of fifth column activity under the guise of relaxation— that was his existence. It could hardly be called a life.

He was back in circulation as far as the female soldiers were concerned, often using this guise to escort fifth column contacts to his quarters or to private alcoves elsewhere on the ship. While he was promoting Karen as his consort, he had curtailed, although not ceased, his other dalliances. Not that he had wanted to circulate.... He’d tired of such activity long before this mission. Endless years at the clinic had cured him of wanderlust long ago. But in a culture where every look, every glance, was monitored, there were few other ways of spreading fifth column information. Of course, some companions were carefully selected for the fact they were loyalists, to muddy the pattern should any of the columnists, especially himself, be exposed. And after garnering so much attention for his relationship with Karen, he had little choice but to continue in the pattern for awhile.

Martin rolled onto his side and watched Lorraine sleep in the bunk beside him. Her blonde hair was fanned out beside her and he reached out to brush an errant lock away from her face. She’d kept him sane these past few weeks. Though they had never discussed the banquet, they didn’t need to. They shared a silent understanding and comforted each other in the only way they could.

He sighed and closed his eyes. Despite Lorraine’s presence, the bunk felt empty. Sleep eluded him and he had to force himself to lie still for Lorraine’s sake. He ran a hand along her arm and tried to pretend it was Karen there with him. Every morning when he woke, he half-expected to find her beside him again, whispering sarcastic comments in his ear that he knew were carefully crafted to put distance between them and the dangers of the day. He wanted to feel her warm breath against his skin, one aspect of her physiology she had been unable to disguise. He wanted to feel her strange tongue clash against his own, have her hands massage the tension from his neck and back. He’d give anything to be off the ship, away from this madness. He’d seen the ocean, and he wanted to walk along the shore with her. Just for a few hours, he wanted to forget about duty and sacrifice and honor and lose himself in the human’s embrace. Quiet desperation. Henry had been a wise man, indeed.

*****

Not long after their conversation had worn down into a comfortable silence, the phone rang. Judy answered on the second ring. “Hello?”

“It’s me.”

“Your sister and some... extended family are here.” Judy said, nodding to Jackie’s inquiring look. Jackie gestured that she wanted to talk to her, and Judy nodded again.

“How many others?” Kim asked.

“Three.”

“A fifth columnist named Karen will come for them tonight and take them someplace safe. I have to go.”

Judy stared at the dead receiver in her hand. “She hung up.”

Jackie gaped at her. “What did she say?”

Judy related the terse message.

“That’s it?” Jackie was incredulous. “Does she know who you meant by her sister?”

“Of course she knows. She said she had to go.” Judy looked at her sympathetically. “I’m sorry. Usually she talks a little bit longer than that. It sounds to me like you aren’t going to be getting much sleep tonight. Let me get the beds ready so you can all try to get some sleep while you’re able to.” Judy stood up and motioned for Jeremy to stay with his mother.

“Jackie, you said you wanted to go to Kim’s house. Why don’t we do that now, before Karen comes,” Philip suggested smoothly. He and Megan had exchanged a look while he said Karen’s real name, and she raised an eyebrow at the slight emphasis he put on the word.

He nodded confirmation, and she shook her head slightly in amazement. She was going to see for herself how effective, or ineffective, Kim’s disguise was. She expected to fool her own friend Jackie, whom she had known for years. Either Kim was very naive about her own ability, or very confident.

“I can go myself,” Jackie said, not wanting to reveal the secret laboratory.

“Under the circumstances, I don’t think so,” Philip told her gently, trying to ignore the hurt look she gave him before looking away.

“Jackie...” Megan started to assuage the effect Philip’s words had elicited.

Jackie held up a hand and cut her off. “Let’s just get it done.”

“I’ll wait here,” Drew said, making no move to leave his comfortable seat on the couch.

Megan nodded agreement, and tried not to show her relief that Drew was staying behind. Now she was free to focus on helping Philip, who had said he needed to get to Kim’s basement before they departed and retrieve a message Kim had left for him, addressed to his prior identity. He had asked her to distract Jackie if necessary, while he went next door by himself. Since that was no longer an option, maybe she could distract Jackie long enough for him to retrieve the note without drawing undue attention.

After the grueling day, it was difficult to give up the soft haven of the couch. Reluctantly, she pulled herself to her feet.

“Jeremy, stay here, and please don’t argue with me,” Jackie said. She stood up stiffly and massaged her wrists again.

Her son sank back into his seat with insolent obedience, saying nothing.

*****

Once inside Kim’s house, Jackie headed immediately for the basement and the hidden opening in the fake wall. “After her fiancé died, Kim was a bit.... unstable. She had this hidden laboratory built, and kept it secret from everyone but me. It seemed harmless enough, considering the comfort it appeared to bring her. I never dreamed how useful it would be,” Jackie explained, opening the panel. She groped a moment for the light switch, then led them downstairs to the door which opened into the lab.

On the counter lay two plain envelopes. One had her name on it, the other was addressed to Philip. Jackie picked up hers and turned to go.

Megan stopped her. “Wait a minute. I’d like to see the rest of this place. How big is it?” Megan’s curiosity was genuine, and Jackie took a moment to show her the other rooms, small as they were. “She hid down here during a search of her house, you said?”

“Yep. The only bad thing about it is you’re trapped with no other way out if you get caught down here,” Jackie said.

Satisfied with the tour, Megan led Jackie back out to the lab and to the exit.

Philip was pacing along the far end of the room, and he brought up the rear as they approached the door. As Jackie turned off the lights he quickly slipped the second envelope into his uniform, then followed Megan up the stairs. He wanted to tear the envelope open now and find out what exactly had gone so wrong in Andy’s rescue, but he made himself wait. Jackie’s condition was too fragile for him to reveal himself yet.

*****

When they were once again settled back in Judy’s living room, Jackie carefully opened the sealed envelope. She read the note to herself twice and then threw it onto the coffee table. Leaning forward, she buried her face in her hands and even Jeremy’s touch failed to comfort her. The others sat watching silently, wondering what the note had said.

Finally, Judy leaned forward and picked it up. “May I?”

Jackie waved her hand absently without looking up.

Judy smoothed the creases of the letter, then put on her reading glasses. She took a calming breath to alleviate the trembling in her hands and read aloud:

 

Jackie,

Judy will help you until I call. I hope you’re recovering okay. I am aware of your experiences on the ship. God, what a nightmare this has been for all of us. Maybe Andy was the lucky one... he died without suffering. He never knew what was happening. More than that I cannot say- it’s too painful to even think about and words fail me. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to speak of what happened. Suffice it to say, it was the worst day of my life, which gives you an idea of how bad the news of his death was.

I’m alive, physically at least. Can’t tell if I still have a soul. Maybe the numbness that has set in is a blessing. Reality is such a fragile thing, and so is my current grip on it.

I can’t stay here. I know that now; I tried. I have to find another place to hide, where I won’t be alone. Don’t know when I’ll see you. If Karen comes in my stead, trust her as you would trust me.

I need to see you. I need to lean on you, let you be strong for me. But I know you’re probably just as fragile as I am right now. I think if we leaned on each other, we’d both break.

How did this happen? I’ve asked myself that every day. Still, no answers come that satisfy me. I want more out of life than this terrified existence. How did the Jews ever survive the death camps? Where did they get their strength? How can anyone journey to the depths of hell and emerge sane? Can it be done by someone as weak as I am?

I’m so scared, Jackie... so alone. I’ve never felt more alone in my life. And I’m afraid that when we finally do meet, you’ll turn on me, too, once you know... and I couldn’t bear that.

What am I going to do?

            Kim

 

As he listened to Judy read, Philip struggled to maintain his composure. Fortunately, Jackie was far too distracted to notice his failing attempt to look indifferent. It didn’t matter if Judy or Megan noticed. Drew and Jeremy wouldn’t understand or care. He closed his eyes and tried to remember how Kim had sounded the last time he had seen her on the ship. What could have happened to plunge her into such hopeless despair?

Seeing his faltering composure, Judy decided to take action. She got up and touched Jackie’s shoulder gently. “You’re exhausted. You should go rest while you can. The beds are ready.”

“I’ll wait up for Karen,” Philip offered. “Go ahead.”

Megan nodded, feeling her own fatigue, and touched Drew’s knee. Together, they stood and waited for Judy to lead them upstairs.

“Come on, Mom. I’ll sit with you,” Jeremy coaxed, putting his arm around Jackie’s waist. She acquiesced and let him guide her up the staircase behind Drew.

*****

Philip closed his eyes and rested his head against the back of the rocking chair. He listened to Judy’s voice which was an unintelligible murmur from where he was sitting. Doors opened and closed, and finally silence settled upon the household. Satisfied that he was alone, he drew out the letter Kim had left him and carefully opened the envelope. She’d written the message in Sirian, and opened with an apology at her mangling of grammar. Skimming the passages, he saw a marked improvement in her syntax, no doubt resulting from continued practice with the language while on the ship.

The first part covered the same subject as Jackie’s note- Andrew was dead, she was coping as best she could. She explained how to contact Judy, and explained how she was calling Judy every few days. Soon, though, the text became less guarded. She revealed her despair and deep-seated guilt over Andy’s death, although she revealed no more information concerning the circumstances of his death. She talked of her gratitude to Martin and himself for helping her as they had, and for keeping her sane. She let that lead into her current feelings of isolation, and confided her suicide attempt. He reread that, surprised that she had tried to end her own life.

 

I never thought I’d attempt suicide, and it’s not something I’m proud of, but I guess it shows the condition I’m in. Condition? God, I’m starting to talk in riddles and double meanings. I didn’t tell you on the ship, since there was absolutely nothing you could do about it, but you may as well know now. Brace yourself. I’m pregnant.

 

Philip exhaled sharply and looked away from the note for a few minutes. How had she gotten pregnant? As far as he knew, Kim had only been with him or Martin. A human prisoner? Kim would never have agreed... but what else could it be? Stunned, he turned his attention back to her ramblings.

 

Believe me, you’re not nearly as surprised as I was. But there is no doubt- my clothes don’t fit anymore! As near as I can tell, Martin is the father. You don’t know about Diana’s forays into reproductive biology, but I had to guard a human teenage girl that Diana took to her lab. Whatever she did to Robin to allow conception inadvertently happened to me, too. I don’t know if I’ll even survive the pregnancy, in all honesty. You and Martin were nowhere near the labs, which only adds to the confusion, since this shouldn’t be possible. But the incident in the lab happened early on in the period we both were on board, and you and I were steering clear of each other at the time.

Do you have any idea how strange this all seems to me? Somehow, you and I both must have overlooked the issue of birth control in our preparations to go up to the ship! I can’t believe any of this is happening, but the reality is within me, growing every day.

I’m scared, Philip. Not due to prejudice, but due to science. What did Diana do to my body to allow this? Did she do anything that will alter my life-span, or my future health? Can I even survive such a pregnancy? I have nowhere to go for information, no way of getting answers to my questions. The uncertainty is growing every day, and my body is changing in ways I don’t understand. Remember how hard it used to be for me to eat raw meat? I crave it now. Even thinking about the smell of meat cooking makes me ill. While that helped on the ship, I don’t know if it’s what I should be eating. The human body has different nutritional needs and I don’t know if those are being met or not. For now, I have yielded to the cravings.

On the other hand, I can thank this unborn child for my life. I tried to take the capsule, but I was physically unable. It’s like the baby itself prevented me from taking my life, and thus its own. Is this the way it is with your people? If so, how are abortions performed? None of my own training in science can help me now. The answers to my questions will not be found in texts on human reproduction. And since I am alone, I have no Sirians to ask either. If I did, at least then I might be able to understand what is normal for your people, and see what experiences of mine fit in with that.

What place in this war-torn world is there for a hybrid child and his mother? What cruel fate of racial prejudice and irrational fear lies in store for us? Will either species tolerate us? Or will we be hated equally by both sides? And that poor teenage girl I guarded. We got her off the ship. I wonder, is she pregnant, too?

I’m so alone, and I have no way of finding the resistance, if they’d even have me. So I’ve decided to continue on as Karen. At least then I can use the fifth column contacts I know of to find other columnists to stay with. I don’t like to lie to them, but I don’t know if they’ll accept me as a human. And I cannot face being alone right now. I’d rather be a fraud than be by myself. Perhaps, in time, after I get to know the ones I am with, I will find them receptive to human interactions and be able to divulge the truth. I hope so, but I’m not so naive as to think all Sirians are as open-minded as you. I can’t take the chance of being banished, either. As my time of delivery nears, I’m losing agility. And if I’m to die in labor, I’d rather not be all by myself.

God, I wish you were here. I could use a shoulder to cry on. But at least Jackie has you. I pray her mind was not damaged beyond repair. I can’t begin to imagine her reaction to this pregnancy, and I’m going to need her support in the years ahead, assuming the child and I both survive. I hope Judy will rise to the occasion as well. But again, I can’t predict her reaction.

If, for some reason, I have stopped calling Judy, it should be safe to assume I have been captured and/or killed. In that case, please explain to Judy what I did, and give her the option of knowing what I have just told you. She’ll want to know what happened to me, and after all of her help without questions, she deserves that much. Then warn her to leave her house and go into hiding as I did. Perhaps the fifth column would be willing to help her. Maybe this letter will be proof enough of what you and I did for you to be believed.

Until we meet again,

Kim

 

 

Judy found him staring at the pages when she came back downstairs. The markings on the paper were incomprehensible to her, but the look on his face was unmistakable. “She left you a letter, too?” Since when did Kim know how to read and write in their language?

Philip glanced up, surprised to see here there, then nodded. “She attempted suicide.”

“What?” Judy sank onto the couch, stunned. “What stopped her?”

Philip looked at the pages he held and chose his words carefully. “A small bit of life inside her that was able to overcome the despair. I don’t think she’ll try it again. She says she is going somewhere to be with other people, which should help her. When she wrote these notes, she was alone, and had been for a couple of weeks, right after Andy’s death.” He looked up at her. “I’ll find her through Karen. Kim’s trying to protect Jackie right now, and doesn’t want to burden her. I think it’s one reason she hung up the phone so quickly today. She’s protecting you, too.”

“She doesn’t need to,” Judy replied immediately.

“Probably not, but she feels that she must. And some of the reasons she gives are valid- the less you know, the less you can reveal,” Philip said. “But I think she intends to tell you some things eventually, once the current danger has passed.”

“When will that be?”

“I don’t know. It could be weeks or even months. It depends on how long a particular fifth columnist is able to maintain his role on the mothership. Right now, too many people on the surface know about him, and Kim is one of them. She isn’t going to tell anyone anything until she knows the information she carries cannot possibly be used to harm the column.”

“And if she dies in the meantime, I’ll go to my own grave with questions,” Judy stated quietly. She understood the necessity, and hated it.

“No. If Kim is killed, her information will be mostly obsolete, and I will be free to tell you everything.”

“So I need to try harder to be patient because it means she’s still alive.” Judy sighed. “I’m trying.”

Philip regarded her sympathetically. “Why don’t you tell me what you do know about what’s going on, and I’ll see if I can add to that.”

*****

It didn’t take long for Philip to realize that Judy had been helping them in spite of almost total ignorance of the truth. She knew that Andrew had been taken, as well as Jackie’s son. She confessed her own adult daughter Becky was also missing, which was why she had custody of the golden retriever, which was Becky’s guide dog. Conversation had shifted for a few minutes as Philip learned about the integration of disabled persons into society, then returned to the subject of missing people.

Judy was unaware of the Visitors’ reptilian nature or their real mission; apparently Jeremy had not told her about his own conversation with his mother when Jackie had last been here. Philip enlightened her as gently as he could, but it was a difficult conversation for both of them. When Judy expressed disbelief at their physiology, a rolled-up sleeve and a tear in the pseudoskin covering his arm quickly silenced her. She watched him in mute shock and barely disguised horror as he related the harvesting of humans for food. Tears rolled down her cheeks when he explained about the fifth column effort within the ranks, and the hope the column had for defeating the Leader.

He recognized a box of facial tissues and carefully got up from his chair to take them to her. She started slightly when he knelt beside her. Since her eyes were closed and her head bowed, she had been unaware of his approach until he was right beside her. The image of scales was still vivid in her mind. He pretended he didn’t notice her reaction and offered her the box.

She took a tissue, blew her nose, then looked at him strangely as a thought occurred to her. She looked at the tissue clenched in her fist. “Do your people cry?”

He shook his head.

“Then how...”

“I’ve had practice with Kim,” he said and smiled gently. Cautiously, he moved from the floor to the couch beside her. “And from what I’ve observed, fighting the urge doesn’t help.”

Judy choked on a laugh and cried harder in response. Instinctively, she leaned against him for comfort and he put an arm around her. Thus encouraged, the floodgates opened and the tears flowed freely while sobs shook her shoulders. “What happened to Andy? Was he...” She couldn’t speak the word “eaten.”

“I don’t know. It’s always possible. Diana could also have used him in medical experimentation, or something else we don’t even know about. Don’t torture yourself with the thought,” Philip murmured to her. Gently, he stroked her hair and rubbed her back, two things Kim always found to be soothing.

“Does Kim know what you’ve told me?”

“She knows all of it,” Philip answered. He wondered if Judy realized how all-encompassing the word “all” was in his reply.

Slowly, the sobs eased and finally ceased. He held her still, coaxing her into leaning back in her seat and settling into the curve of his arm. A pile of used tissues was on the couch beside her, the box in her lap. She took a fresh one and wiped once more at her eyes. “What you must think...” She shook her head, embarrassed at her own emotional display. It was still difficult to comprehend that the man holding her was an alien from another planet who wasn’t even human. The cool touch of his flesh helped her believe.

“I think you are very brave. For you to help as many as you have, with as little information as you knew, took great courage.”

“Kim knows I can refuse her nothing,” Judy said, deprecating her own involvement. All she had really done was do as Kim asked, after all.

“You’ve saved lives, including Jackie’s, possibly Kim’s as well,” Philip countered. He could see why Kim had placed such faith in this woman. He wanted to tell her more, tell her that Kim was the one who was coming tonight. Caution held him back. Judy had been traumatized enough today, and burdening her with the knowledge of Kim’s unusual pregnancy might be too much for her to absorb in addition to everything else. He resolved to try to persuade Kim to talk to Judy herself.


	4. Pseudoreunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Extra chapter this week, because it's Independence Day (for some) and fighting for basic rights and freedom is what this story is all about.

Kim hung up the phone and leaned against the brick wall next to her. A part of her was thrilled that she would be able to see Jackie again, but it also meant she would have to be extremely careful. Jackie knew her so well that the slightest slip would give her away. She’d found a temporary home with Ted’s group, and the sense of belonging she felt there sustained her. She couldn’t give that up yet, not even for Jackie.

Judy had mentioned an extended family. Were they humans or Visitors? Hopefully, Philip was among their number. If she brought other humans besides Jackie back to the sound stage with her, would Ted’s group be willing to accept them? So far, she could only count on Ted and Damian for support. Darlene would be against humans staying with them. Blaine and Alan were ambivalent, but likely to go along with Ted’s decision. Of course, preparing human food would be a problem, since all they had was a fridge. Then there was the potential for mingling during meal times, which could also be a source of tension. The Visitors didn’t have live animals yet, but Kim intended to find a way to get them.

Where would the humans sleep? She and Damian had already liberated two beds from the props building and set up crude privacy screens around them. Maybe Damian would help her find additional furniture to add to their eclectic collection. This was getting complicated. In a way, the complexity of the issues at hand only reaffirmed the value of her masquerade. Her own life seemed difficult, but it was actually relatively simple in view of the alternatives.

Kim checked her watch and pushed away from the wall. Ted had known Kim’s contact was running a temporary safe house for Visitors, and would certainly not try to stop her from going tonight. More likely, he’d want someone to go with her, for her own safety. She’d have to check to see how many passengers the larger of their cars held....

Thus occupied, she headed back to the sound stage.

*****

Philip roused when he heard a knock at the door.

The small dog began to yap and Judy quickly wakened. She was disoriented at first, then remembered feeling drowsy while sitting with the Visitor on the sofa. Apparently, he had let her sleep while he waited for Karen to come. He'd even used an afghan from a nearby chair to cover her up.

“Muff, quiet!” Judy hissed, scooping the small dog up. Philip went with her to the back door, and she didn’t question him when he drew his gun.

She instructed him to look through the peephole, and he recognized Karen immediately. “It’s her,” he said, stepping aside so she could open the door.

Karen saw him waiting for her and fell into his offered embrace. She held back tears of relief as his arms closed tightly around her. “I got your note,” he whispered into her ear, using Sirian so Judy wouldn’t understand. “I’m sorry.”

Her own arms tightened about him before releasing him. He looked into her eyes and was surprised by the calm that he saw there, until he saw the storms lurking at the periphery.

“Pre-ta-nam-a,” she said, smiling and offered her hand for the traditional clasp of greeting.

He took it, and introduced her to Judy, then explained that the word of greeting literally translated to peace. He was amused to watch Kim fake difficulty remembering the custom before she extend her right hand for the traditional human handshake.

“Where are the others?” Kim asked when the introductions were over. Her uniform did nothing to hide her expanding abdomen, and she sensed Philip’s scrutiny. They had so much to talk about, she could barely contain herself.

“Sleeping. Come in and sit down while we wake them,” Judy said, stifling a yawn.

“We should go as soon as possible. I have a stolen car out front that could attract unwanted attention if left there for too long.”

“Agreed,” Philip said, then turned to Judy. “You wake Jackie. I’ll get Megan and Drew, if you show me what rooms they are in.”

“This way,” Judy said, and headed for the stairs, still trying to quiet the growling dog she held in her arms.

*****

Their departure was uneventful and, thankfully, swift. Kim had wanted so badly to collapse into Judy’s arms and confess everything that it made the brief encounter an excruciating eternity. Philip seemed to have a good rapport with Jackie, though, and she was pleased her almost-sister had learned to lean on him. He sat in the back seat, with Jackie sandwiched between him and Megan. Drew had said nothing after their introduction and Philip had met her eyes in a silent communication that told her the sulking Visitor was not happy with his current situation. Well, who was? At least he made an effort to get along with the rest of them, which was more than could be said about Darlene. Megan seemed friendly enough, and showed signs of a strong friendship with Jackie. How had they met, she mused?

She felt Megan’s piercing gaze and wondered why she was the object of such scrutiny. She glanced in the rear-view mirror and met Philip’s eyes. He was watching her, too, but not nearly as intensely as Megan.

“Where’s Kim?” Jackie asked, breaking the silence.

“Someplace safe. She’s okay, so you don’t need to worry about her. Right now, I think she is more concerned about you,” Kim answered. Megan’s gaze intensified until Kim could imagine it pressing against her skin. What had her so intrigued?

“Then why is she avoiding me?”

“She isn’t. Her situation is just more complicated than you realize.” Kim’s mind raced, desperate for a topic to switch the conversation to. She slowed the car to make a right-hand turn, then turned her attention back to her companions. At least Jackie was the only human in the group, which would make it much easier for the Visitors to be accommodating. “I need to warn you about Darlene. Her view of humans is rather poor, and she has made sure everyone knows it. Frankly, she’s miserable for any of us to be around, and I wouldn’t be surprised if she refuses to speak to you or acknowledge you in any way. The rest of us sort of wish she’d include everyone in that favor.”

“She’s that bad?” Philip asked. It did help explain why Kim was still posing as Karen.

“Worse than you can imagine,” Kim said, meeting his gaze briefly through the mirror. “Diana would have helped all of us if she had put Darlene in charge of public relations. The humans would have organized a rebellion within a week.”

Kim turned her attention to her friend of more than a decade. “Jackie, we have money, but you’ll probably need to go to the store yourself and pick out food. I suspect you’ll find the current selection rather unappetizing. We have a small refrigerator, but no way of cooking anything,”

“That won’t be a problem. I’m a pro at campfire cooking,” Jackie said before leaning her head on Philip’s shoulder. This was not what she had imagined her return to L.A. to be. Kim was avoiding her, and now Jackie had the dubious honor of being the sole human to live with a group of fifth columnists, one of whom was so antagonistic her own people despised her. God, she hated war.

*****

Kim showed the newcomers around briefly before retiring for some much-needed rest. Jackie had claimed one of the beds with the blessing of the Visitors, who wanted her to have as much privacy as she desired. Kim tried to hide her jealousy when Philip laid down with Jackie, apparently intending to spend the night there. Shame and guilt quickly followed. Jackie was obviously suffering after-effects from her ordeal on the mothership, and Kim had no right to begrudge her Philip’s support. She fought the urge to break down in tears and finally dozed. She wakened when the mattress shifted beneath her.

“Shh. It’s just me,” Philip whispered as he laid down beside her. He took Kim in his arms and brushed the hair back from her eyes. “Jackie’s finally asleep.”

Wordlessly, she looked at him. His reddish-gold eyes were barely visible in the dim light, but she heard the sympathy in his voice, felt it in his touch. It reached through all of the barriers she had carefully erected around herself since going to Paul, and left behind it a path for her emotions to flow through. As he held her in the darkness, the tears came.

Philip held her, as he always did, with great tenderness. He spoke words of comfort softly into her hair and asked no questions. From past experience with her, he knew that conversation would only be possible once she had released her feelings. “I’m here, Kim, you’re not alone,” he repeated again and again, until it became a whispered mantra that lulled her to sleep.

*****

When Kim woke the next morning, she was again alone in the bed. She looked at her watch and moaned at the early hour, sensing further sleep was not on her body’s agenda for the morning. Sluggishly, she pulled her clothes on and headed for the refrigerator.

Jackie was up too, looking disdainfully at the food on the table. Kim smiled at her and said, “Good morning. How did you sleep?”

“Decently. Interesting selection you have here. Can’t say I’ve ever sat down and eaten a container of shortening before.” Jackie was eyeing the table with a raised eyebrow.

“I warned you.” Kim smiled and retrieved a package of hamburger from the fridge. She removed the wrapper, then hesitated. Her own tightrope act between two cultures had just become more difficult, and she had a new empathy for how the Visitors felt around humans they didn’t know. What a burden, to always be on guard for fear of offending someone.

“You won’t bother me, don’t worry,” Jackie said absently, waving a dismissing hand in Karen’s direction. “I don’t suppose you have a can opener?” Jackie picked up a can of soup and turned to her.

“What does it look like?”

“I guess that’s answer enough. Hurry up and eat your breakfast, girlfriend; we’re going shopping.”

Kim tensed involuntarily at the word “girlfriend.” Did Jackie suspect? Or was she just being friendly? She watched Jackie carefully while eating the hamburger and decided it was the latter. Great. Now she had to feign ignorance in a grocery store, rather than stock up on the few human foods that still appealed to her. “Ted has the money.”

“Do you mind going with me?” Jackie watched the Visitor and wondered why she was so tense. Megan didn’t act like this around her.

Kim shook her head. “I could use the exercise.”

Jackie nodded, then glanced at Karen’s abdomen. “When are you due?”

Kim blanched beneath the mask and felt her lip quiver and quickly turned away. “I’m... I’m not sure.”

“Sorry... I didn’t realize it was a sensitive subject,” Jackie said hastily. Damn! She’d certainly not helped her case with the Visitor. She made a mental note to ask Megan if there were cultural taboos about discussing pregnancy. “Forget I mentioned it. I’ll go get the money. Come get me when you’re done?” Jackie waited until she saw the back of Karen’s head nod once, and then left the room.

“Are you Ted?” Jackie asked the friendly-looking Visitor who was listening to... the most diverse collection of electronic equipment she had seen in a long time.

“No, Damian. You must be Jackie,” he said, smiling at her. “Ted’s sleeping. He pulled the night shift. What do you need?”

“Karen said he had the money.” Jackie smiled back at him and leaned against the door jamb. She hooked her thumb in the direction of the room next door. “That is the sorriest selection of breakfast possibilities I’ve seen in, what...twenty-four hours? I want to go shopping for some real food, preferably cooked, but I only have about ten bucks on me.”

“Here,” Damian said, pulling open the desk drawer. “Take whatever you need. Do you know where the nearest store is? Do you want someone to go with you?” He watched her kneel down and flip through the bills in the drawer.

“Thanks, no, and Karen is.” Jackie bowed her head. “I know I’ve been converted too much to dare going alone.” She pulled her left hand out of the drawer and deliberately began to use her right.

“Hey, take it easy,” Damian said. He hesitated, then put his hand on her shoulder. It was the first time he had ever touched a human and he was surprised at how much warmth radiated through her shirt. “It can be dangerous for any of us to go alone, not just you.”

“I’m sorry.” Jackie sighed, then raised her face so she could look at him. “It’s just...”

“No apology necessary.” He left his hand on her shoulder, but indicated the drawer of cash with his eyes. “Is there enough there for you?”

She nodded, grateful for the change in subject. “More than enough, for now. Don’t you worry about the supply running out?”

Damian reluctantly withdrew his hand and she stood. “No. Paul’s got a steady supply, and Karen has a contact who supplies her, too.”

“About Karen...” Jackie hesitated, then lowered her voice. “Is there some cultural taboo I should know about or something? I asked her when the baby was due to be born and she got a real strange look on her face.”

“It’s an unusual case,” Damian answered softly and she leaned closer so she could hear him. “Diana apparently conducted some medical experiments with some of the crew as well as the prisoners. Karen’s child is a hybrid.”

“Oh,” Jackie breathed softly, “That explains a lot. Okay. Don’t mention the pregnancy. Got it,” she said to herself as she straightened. “That why she turned fifth column?”

“No. It was a case of cooperating with Diana to maintain her position on the ship. Diana is very good at detecting so-called traitors.”

“She’s good at torture, too. It seems she’s a woman of many talents!” Jackie resumed a conversational tone.

Damian smiled. “I’d rather she worked on developing a talent for dying.”

“Maybe we, her loyal fans, will be able to help her develop the skill.” Jackie winked at him and went to see if Karen was almost ready to leave.

She checked, but Karen wasn’t in the dining room. Turning, she saw her standing near the shuttle, talking quietly with Jacob. It was obvious from the way they stood together that they were old friends and viewed each other affectionately. She saw Jacob watching her out of the corner of his eye before he turned his back to her and pressed his cheek to Karen’s forehead. The pregnant Visitor said something in return, but Jackie couldn’t quite make out the words. “I’m ready,” she said to Jackie as she released Jacob’s hand from her grasp and stepped away from him.

“Lead the way,” Jackie said, smiling as they headed towards the door at the far end of the building. She resolved to break through this particular Visitor’s reticence, no matter how long it took. No one could go through a pregnancy without some misgivings, and Darlene was an unlikely confidant for Karen to turn to.

Strange, how human she looked in her maternity clothes. And the sun was bright enough that even the sunglasses were not unusual. But a single syllable would betray her nature to anyone she encountered. Hell of a way to live, Jackie mused. And all of the Visitors she was with shared that fate. Megan handled it well, but Drew brooded behind a facade of indifference. How did Karen view the problem? After the faux pas with her earlier question, Jackie was hesitant to broach the subject. What were they supposed to talk about? The weather? “So, have you been on the surface long?”

“A few weeks,” Kim replied carefully. How had she gotten herself talked into this?

“How did you find this group? Does everyone on the ship know where to go?”

“Not everyone. It’s hard to share information, even within the column. But I knew where to find Paul, and he sent me here.”

“Who’s Paul?” Jackie asked. It was the second time Paul’s name had been mentioned this morning.

“A fifth columnist stationed in the red light district. Some of the prostitutes there help gather intelligence.”

“The hookers are helping the resistance?” Jackie didn’t even try to hide her surprise.

“The fifth column,” Karen said.

“Same thing,” Jackie said, brushing off the correction.

“No, it’s not, though the two groups share some of the same goals.”

“Only some?”

“What do you care if the Leader is overthrown, as long as Earth is preserved?” Kim said quietly.

Jackie didn’t have an answer to that. Why wouldn’t the Visitor look her in the eye? She just stared straight ahead, giving minimal answers to Jackie’s questions. The Visitors were certainly capable of conversation; witness Megan’s willingness to talk. What was with this woman? Jackie started to reach a hand out to take Karen’s sleeve, then dropped it back to her side, not wanting to offend. Instead, she stopped in place.

Karen went another step, then stopped and turned. Well, at least she was looking at her now, Jackie thought. “Have I done something to offend you?” she asked.

“No.”

“Then why have I had easier conversations with my gynecologist during my annual?” Jackie asked. She remained where she was and folded her arms across her chest. In response, all she got was a look of confusion.

“Annual?” Kim asked, trying desperately to look confused instead of amused. It was good to hear Jackie’s unique brand of humor again.

“Forget it.” Jackie looked skyward, then back at the Visitor. “You don’t like me.”

“Do I know you well enough to dislike you?” Kim asked in a very bland tone.

“Then you have a hang-up with humans in general.”

“Don’t confuse me with Darlene.” Kim’s voice had a hard edge to it.

Jackie almost said something else, but sensed Karen was searching for the right words, so she closed her mouth and waited.

“You don’t remember me, do you?” the Visitor finally asked.

“You’re saying we’ve met before?” Jackie studied the face carefully, but had no sense of recognition, even vaguely.

Kim nodded. “On the ship. I was there when you were revived from storage after your arrival. I helped escort you to the interrogation chamber.” Kim’s stomach was threatening violent retaliation for the emotional turmoil, but she swallowed and tried to fight the nausea. She had to get a sense of Jackie’s degree of bitterness. She and Philip still hadn’t talked about the condition of Jackie’s mind, so she didn’t know if revealing her identity would be a good idea. But the truth was going to come out sometime, and this was a good chance to test the proverbial waters. She watched her friend of many years carefully as Jackie’s eyes became unfocused, her attention directed inward.

Jackie finally exhaled loudly and shook her head. “I don’t remember a lot of what happened on the ship. The bits I do remember, I’d rather forget. As far as I knew, we met last night.”

Kim nodded once, wondering what to say next.

Jackie spared her the effort. “Look, I don’t blame you for what happened to me. If it weren’t for the fifth column and Jacob, I would either be dead or Diana’s willing servant. Blaming my allies would be rather ungrateful of me, don’t you think?”

“Perhaps. But you _are_ human, with reactions that can be difficult to predict,” Kim replied.

“Me? I’m easy to predict. You just have to remember one rule: expect the unexpected.” Jackie was rewarded with a smile, and mentally congratulated herself for the small victory. Within a week, this Visitor was going to be putty in her hands.

*****

As he had the previous night, Philip laid down beside her once Jackie was asleep. Kim snuggled up against him and lost herself in the safety of his embrace. Her back pressed against his front, his arms circled around her expanding waist. The area behind the privacy screen was softly illuminated by the light spilling from the office where Alan was monitoring the radios.

She took his hand and moved it to another spot without explanation. Soon, he felt movement beneath his fingers, much to his surprise.

“Did you feel that?” she whispered, knowing he had from the change in his muscle tension.

“Was that...”

“The baby kicking. Or punching. Or who knows what other acrobatics he or she is doing.”

“Does it hurt?” His voice held quiet amazement, and he kept his hand pressed against her with anticipation.

“Not usually. Now and then he gets me in the ribs, and that doesn’t feel very good. But most of the time, it doesn’t hurt. It’s still a bit early for you to be able to feel it, though. But who knows what’s normal in this case.” She fell silent again and let him continue to track the baby’s movements.

They lay that way for several minutes before Philip broke the spell. “What happened on the ship?”

Kim sighed. She had known he was going to ask. “It was just bad luck. Martin got Andy’s name onto the transfer list and he was scheduled to be moved.”

Philip said nothing and waited patiently for her to continue.

“He caught someone’s eye- most likely he fit one of Diana’s profiles. I’ve filled her requests myself. Even if we had known, there was nothing we could have done.”

“You didn’t know until later, did you?” he asked softly.

Kim shook her head in the dim light and whispered, “No.”

“When did you find out?”

“When I saw him,” Kim said. She saw Andy clearly in her mind’s eye. Bile rose in her throat as her mind returned her to the banquet. “I died that day.”

Philip considered that and compared it to what he knew about her. “There’s more you aren’t telling,” he said, then waited. He didn’t want to press her, since he knew from her notes that it had been a horrible experience. Kim stayed silent, neither confirming nor denying his statement.

“Kim, you’re too strong to try suicide just because Andy died. I suspect you tried that option because you feel guilty. Fight it. You did the best you could to save him. You have nothing to feel guilty about,” he said with conviction.

He felt her trembling in his arms and knew he was breaking through her fragile, carefully constructed defenses. “What do you think Andy would say if he were here? Do you think he’d want you to carry this guilt for the rest of your life?”

“You don’t know what happened... Andrew would never forgive me. I can’t forgive myself,” Kim whispered.

“What did Diana want him for?”

“Don’t ask, please, don’t ask. If you knew, you’d get as far from me as you could, and I need you too much...,” she pleaded with him.

“Kim.” Philip moved away, then made her roll onto her back so she could look at him. “I’m not going anywhere. I could never despise you. I respect you too much for that. Whatever happened, I know you tried your best. There was nothing more you could have done. Let go of the guilt.”

“I can’t,” she whispered. Tears streamed from her eyes and wet her hair as she looked up at him with pleading eyes. “It was too awful. I feel sick just thinking about it.”

Philip’s sense of foreboding grew and he ran the back of his hand along her wet cheek.

Kim continued in a detached tone. “After you left with Jackie, Diana decided the crew needed a reminder of the mission...”

He said nothing, knowing that any false move on his part would drive her back into herself. He met her gaze with unblinking eyes.

“All of the senior officers were required to attend... including me.”

Still, he met her gaze, neither blinking nor looking away.

Kim had to look away; she couldn’t bear to watch the horror spread across his features, the horror she knew would appear when she told him. But she desperately needed to talk to someone about it and hear it wasn’t really her fault. “She organized a banquet...” She was unable to finish the sentence, and struggled just to breathe.

It was enough, though, for Philip. Suddenly, he knew what had happened to Andrew, and worse, to Kim. Andrew hadn’t suffered from his fate, but Kim was unable to move past that night. He pressed his fingers to her chin and forced her to look at him. “There was nothing you could do,” he told her gently.

“You don’t understand...” Kim managed to whisper between desperate, silent sobs.

“Yes, I do.” His voice was firm, commanding, yet so soft it was barely audible.

Kim was helpless to look away. She searched his eyes for horror, for revulsion, and found only compassion. Surely he didn’t understand.

“Listen to me,” Philip demanded.

She felt his fingers increase their pressure on her chin, grounding her in the present.

Philip continued, “He was already dead. That couldn’t be changed. But if you were discovered, think what would have happened. Diana would have tortured you, and moved on to Martin. The entire fifth column was at stake, and you did what you had to do to protect the _living_. If Andrew would not have understood that, then he wasn’t worth saving in the first place. You tried. You did everything you possibly could. You have _nothing_ to feel guilty for.”

Her eyes said she wanted to believe him, but he could sense the guilt ran too deep to be so easily relinquished, so he pressed on. “Tell me this. How does suicide honor Andrew’s memory? If you really love him, and I know you do, you’ll keep fighting for the ones who don’t have a sister to go after them. You’ll save others in his name; you’ve probably already done so. Let go of the guilt.”

“Not everyone will see it the way you do,” Kim murmured, obliquely telling him the other problem she was having.

“Then don’t tell them. You _know_ you did what you had to, just to survive. Getting yourself killed at the banquet wouldn’t have brought Andrew back. _You_ know that. You don’t have to justify your choices to anyone else. And if the truth will make others pass an unfair judgment on you, withhold it. Tell them what you told Jackie and Judy- that he died without suffering, and you don’t want to talk about it. It’s the truth. It’s all they need to know.

“I won’t let you do this to yourself, Kim. Jackie needs you too much,” Philip continued. Kim seemed to be driven more to help others than by selfish motives. Perhaps he could use Jackie’s condition as a reason for her to keep living.

“She’ll hate me, once she knows how I’ve deceived her.”

“She won’t hate you. She’ll be angry, but she’ll get past it. And what about Judy? She’s so worried about you. And I know you’ve done a lot to improve the situation here.” Philip’s hand moved down to rest on her swollen abdomen. “You have too much to live for to give up now.”

“I’m trying, really I am...” Kim took a shaky breath and changed the subject, desperate to distance herself from the torrent of emotions she always felt when thinking about Andy’s death. “Tell me about Jackie. Can we trust her?”

Philip settled down beside her again, and she turned onto her side so they could snuggle as they had before. He nuzzled the back of her neck gently before he answered. “I’m not sure, but I think so. We do have to be careful about her surroundings. If she’s in the building with us, she’s okay. But if you put her on a shuttle, she is helpless to fight the effects of the conversion.”

“I waited too long,” Kim said sullenly.

More guilt! “No. Diana is skilled at what she does,” Philip corrected her

“She doesn’t know about me. Do you think I should tell her?”

“No. Megan knows, though. Jackie is still trying to deal with the way the Phoenix resistance reacted to her return. The effects of the conversion have slowly gotten worse since she left the ship. We had to bind her hands and tape her mouth shut to get her to L.A. without betraying us. It was her idea, actually. She’s fighting it, but I don’t know if she’ll be able to hold out. And if she does lose this battle with herself, the less she knows, the safer it is for the rest of us. Everyone here already associates you with Martin. Jackie has probably heard them talking, and if she finds out who you are...”

“The trail leads right to him,” Kim finished for him. “At least I know why Megan’s been watching me so intently. I’m surprised she hasn’t said something to me.”

“I’m not. She’s not like that.”

Kim sensed more in his voice than respect, and couldn’t help but ask, “Exactly how well do you know her?” She took a deep breath and brushed the tears from her cheeks.

Philip didn’t answer. He knew she understood his culture in theory, but was uncertain how she would deal with the reality. Would she view his relationship with Megan as a personal betrayal?

When her question evoked only silence, she shifted on the bed so she could look at him again. “Ummhmm. Just what I thought,” she said with a straight face. His thoughts were so easy to read, even with the human contacts he had yet to remove for the night. She let him squirm for a long moment, then smiled at him. “Gotcha,” she whispered, still grinning.

His eyebrows shot up, and he pulled her closer. “You’re impossible,” he said and smothered her response with a kiss.

*****

Jackie walked back from the far end of the building, where she had prepared yet another monotonous meal using a propane grill. She balanced her plate in one hand and leaned over the back of the couch where Karen was lying. “Passionate Embrace,” she said, reading the title from the spine of the paperback romance novel the Visitor was reading. “I sure hope you don’t assume all human relationships are like what you’re reading about.”

Kim glanced up at her and smiled slightly. “No. I saw it was labeled as fiction.” She pointed to the cover. “And I have yet to see any humans dress in such a fashion.”

“Most of us don’t have the figure to wear that sort of thing even if we wanted to. Where’d you find that, anyway?” Jackie picked up a hot dog and took a bite. She was getting rather tired of grilled meat, but at least it was cooked. How many hot dogs had she eaten since they got to L.A.? She decided that maybe it was best not to count

“In the desk where the money is kept,” Kim answered. Should she mention she was now on her third time through the novel, driven to read it yet again out of sheer boredom? Her stomach rolled warningly at the smell of the cooked hot dogs.

“Is it any good?” Jackie’s mind raced, trying to think of ways to prolong the conversation.

“The use of your language is interesting.”

“That’s one way of describing it.” Jackie laughed and pushed her hair behind her ear, then glared at her left hand. “Are you an avid reader?”

“Lying here doing nothing is boring,” Kim answered without answering and picked up the book again.

Sensing the conversation was over, Jackie wandered next into the radio room. She plopped down in the extra chair that sat in the room and sighed. Jacob’s close relationship with Karen had not escaped her attention, though it had surprised her as she had finally recognized his affair with Megan. Since their arrival at the sound stage, however, Megan seemed to be circulating quite freely among the men, including the two she had traveled with, while Karen was receptive only to Jacob’s advances. For all her curiosity, though, she couldn’t broach the subject with Megan. It seemed to Jackie that her questions would be too much of an invasion of privacy, even by Visitor standards. Nocturnal activities aside, Jackie hoped Jacob would be able to give her some understanding of Karen’s attitude towards her.

Philip regarded her with sympathy before turning his attention back to the equipment. “What’s wrong?”

Jackie pushed the door closed and spoke softly, so Karen wouldn’t hear her. “What is Karen’s problem? We’ve been here for almost three weeks, and getting her to talk to me is like nailing pudding to the wall. What have I done to make her so uncomfortable around me?”

Philip leaned back in his chair and considered how to respond without saying too much. “It’s nothing you have done.”

“She’s not this distant with the rest of you— okay, Darlene is an exception, but Darlene’s a whole ’nother problem— Karen insists I have done nothing to offend her, and doesn’t care that I’m human. And I know the smell of the grill has bothered her on occasion, but she hasn’t complained about that either.” Jackie finished her meal in a few quick bites.

“She’s telling you the truth.”

“So what _is_ the problem?” Jackie asked. Her frustration was written on her face.

“Her situation is difficult and complicated in ways you know nothing about,” Philip told her.

“But how is that related to me?”

“It just is. There are many things you don’t know about us, Jackie.”

Jackie sighed, clearly unsatisfied. “So, is this a cultural problem, or does it stem from the fact that I was on the ship and in the conversion chamber?”

Philip adjusted one of the settings before he answered her. “There are many reasons, in both of those categories. The fifth column is a very fragile network of contacts that extends into the highest levels of the fleet. Karen has circulated among those higher levels, and has to be especially careful because of it.”

“Yeah, I’ve figured out that Martin’s fifth column, and don’t even try to deny it. But I know that, so what’s the big deal?” Jackie demanded.

“I can’t say any more, I’m sorry.” Philip didn’t even try to hide the sympathy he felt. “In time, you’ll understand. Try to be patient.”

“How patient are we talking here? Weeks? Months? Years?” Jackie pressed.

“I don’t know....” Philip paused a long time before continuing. “The day will come when you’ll get your answers. But you should be warned, you may not like what you learn.”

“I can handle it,” Jackie said, dismissing his warning.

“I hope so, for everyone’s sake,” Philip replied softly.

Something in his tone raised the hair on the back of Jackie’s neck. She looked deep into his eyes, but saw nothing amiss there, only genuine concern that Jackie _could_ handle the truth. Somehow, that only added to her unease, and she soon excused herself and left the room.


	5. A Medical Crisis

Martin went directly to the main recreation hall at the end of his shift. He was exhausted and longed to retire for the night, but he was supposed to meet with Donovan in the morning. Diana had scheduled a staff meeting for the same time, leaving Lorraine to scramble to find a suitable replacement for Martin’s journey to the surface. He was meeting his replacement here to brief her on the mission.

He got himself a drink and a container of mice, then sank into a chair. Sipping his drink, Martin removed the data pad from the pocket in the vest of his uniform and turned it on. If anyone asked, he was simply reviewing crew records. That much was true; this just happened to be the record of the fifth columnist who was to meet with Donovan. Her Earth name was Laura, he noted. Then he saw her age. In Earth years, she was barely 18. Soldiers started their careers early, but Laura had just arrived on Earth with Pamela’s ship. She was rather inexperienced for Lorraine to have recommended her. A closer look at her records revealed the source of Lorraine’s faith. Laura had been at the very top of her class at the academy, and she had an excellent record of performance in all aspects of her training. All she lacked was field experience. If anything, her rank was lower than it should have been.

Martin wished he could accompany her to the surface and help ease her transition from the academy to the field. But the columnists were too few in number to worry about trivial things like experience. If she was as competent as her training indicated, she would perform well.

He noted with interest a comment made by one of her instructors at the academy: “Laura is exceptionally talented and shows great promise for a career in the upper levels of command. The only thing that will prevent her from fulfilling her potential is her reluctance to interact closely with her crew mates. She prefers to spend her time alone, and only rarely frequents the recreational facilities.”

Martin nodded to himself, recognizing a kindred spirit. Lorraine shared his distaste for the fleet’s current system of advancement and may have picked Laura for just that reason, knowing Martin would talk to her about how to cope.

Next he called up an image of her human appearance. Dark brown eyes were framed by an equally dark face. Her dark wavy hair was cut short. By human standards, she was stunningly beautiful. She was also one of the few soldiers given the appearance of the African American sector of the human population. For some reason, ethnic diversity was grossly underrepresented on the L.A. ship. He called up an image of her true face and confirmed her pseudoskin matched her natural level of beauty.

Young, talented, intelligent... and fifth column. Her allegiance greatly lowered her chances of surviving the war and Martin found the idea of her potential being wasted distressing. He turned the data pad off and returned it to the pocket of his uniform vest. His thoughts turned inward as he sipped absently at his drink and leaned back in his seat to wait.

*****

He recognized her as soon as she entered and sat down. She looked ill at ease and her efforts to hide her discomfort fell far short of her goal. He picked up the container of mice from his table and went over to her.

Laura stiffened visibly when he sat down and he smiled gently at her. “Relax, Private,” he said as he pushed the container of mice towards her. He removed one for himself and nodded encouragement to her. Slowly, she reached in and snared one of the frantic rodents.

“I haven’t seen you here before,” he commented before swallowing the mouse that was squirming in his grasp.

“No, sir,” she answered, avoiding his gaze.

Martin was unable to determine who looked more trapped, the soldier before him, or the mouse she held. The snap of a neck put the latter out of its misery before she swallowed it. He decided to try a different approach with her. “Are you trained in the use of the long-staff?” he asked, knowing she excelled with the weapon from his earlier scan of her records. The English translation of the weapon’s name grated on him and he wondered who had chosen the term; certainly the translator had no personal experience with it.

Laura became animated and her military bearing straightened even more. “Yes, sir.”

“Would you care to join me in the gym for a practice session?”

“I... I would be honored, sir,” Laura whispered. He was offering to train with her? She hoped she would avoid making a fool of herself.

“Good,” Martin said. He looked at his chronometer. “Go change out of your uniform and meet me in the officers’ gym in fifteen minutes. We’ll see how effective your training has been.”

“Yes, sir!” Laura answered and jumped to her feet, smiling. “Thank you, sir,” she added quietly before heading to the exit.

Martin watched her leave, then studied the glass in his hand for a long moment before finally finishing the drink. He placed the glass back on the table and pushed it away from him. In spite of his fatigue, he was looking forward to the workout. His own time in the gym had been limited to solitary practice of late, and then only infrequently.

*****

Laura was waiting in the corridor for him when arrived at the officers’ gym a few minutes later. Her unisex exercise tunic, like the one he wore, was loose fitting and allowed for ease of movement. Her sleeveless bodysuit stopped just above the knee, revealing muscular legs that even pseudoskin couldn’t make unattractive. He pressed the panel next to the door and gestured for her to enter as soon as the panel opened.

The room was empty, giving them their choice of workout surfaces. Martin activated the lights and scanned the room to consider their options. He quickly dismissed the gravel area, since it would quickly shred the pseudoskin on their feet. The bare floor was unforgiving of falls, and the lightly padded sector felt too artificial. He preferred the challenge and benefits of sand, and moved to the center of the sand arena. He stretched his legs while waiting for Laura to retrieve the weapons from the rack on the wall.

Per protocol, she offered him his choice of weapons, and he took the one she held in her left hand. He tested its weight and balance and stepped away so they could both complete the ritual stretches.

In combat, the ends of the metal rods would be sharpened to deadly points. The practice staffs, however, were rounded on the ends, and contained sensors that beeped when contact was made. The two-meter pole felt like an extension of his hands, in spite of the pseudoskin, as he manipulated it through familiar motions. The lightweight alloy had been polished until it shone, save for two areas that had been roughened to enhance one’s grip.

When Laura indicated she was ready, he stepped closer and held his staff diagonally across the front of his body. A ritual nod prodded her to action and they worked their way through the maneuvers taught at the academy. He was pleased to see she remained confident as the exercise increased in complexity. She was good, enough so that with a few more years of practice, she would surpass his own skill with the weapon.

*****

They continued for almost an hour before they reached the upper limits of her training. The only sounds in the room were the clinks of metal contacting metal, and the soft scuff of feet shifting in sand. She seemed surprised when he disarmed her and propelled her onto her back in the flick of a tongue. Recovering quickly, she retrieved her weapon and waited eagerly for him to teach her both the maneuver and the proper counterattack. He was impressed at the speed with which she mastered the moves, and he ended up teaching her two more maneuvers before deciding they had done enough for one day.

“If you continue your study of this weapon, you will surpass me in only a few years,” he told her when he took the staff from her.

“You flatter me,” she said, looking down. She brushed the sand from her tunic as a way of avoiding his gaze. Too soon, she was being asked to face the reality of this meeting. She would have preferred to continue practicing.

“I have no need to flatter you. Your skill is genuine,” he told her before placing the weapons back in their racks. He could tell she was still uneasy, although less so than she had been in the recreation area. He led her to a small alcove that opened off the gym and sealed the door behind them.

The room was a small rectangle and devoid of furniture. Most typically, it was used for meditation, though there were times, such as this, when couples sought them out for the illusion of privacy. Even these rooms were monitored on occasion, Martin knew.

He drew her down to the floor and bade her sit next to him, entwining her fingers with his in a pattern that was all too familiar to him. She stiffened slightly, but moved her hand to his wrist. Her head was bowed so she could avoid his gaze.

Gently, he lifted her chin and made her look him in the eye. “We have a lot to talk about and I don’t have the luxury of time to coddle you,” he said softly. His tone removed the sting from the words, but Laura still looked away.

“I know that, sir,” she whispered. “You’ve been more patient than I have a right to expect.”

“Because I empathize,” he admitted.

Her eyes swung back to him, surprise shining through the contacts.

He traced the human curve of her cheek with the back of one of his fingers. “I despise this system of advancement in the ranks even more than you do,” he whispered to her, too softly for the microphones to hear.

“You?!” she whispered.

Martin nodded, knowing how few individuals were aware of his rebellion against the very system he had mastered.

“I don’t think it’s possible,” Laura added, giving voice to her own level of aversion.

“Combine the fleet with the clinic and wait twenty or so Earth years. The depth of your loathing will only grow, believe me.”

Her eyes widened, then she nodded. How could her distaste compare to his, given the difference in their ages and ranks? “How do you cope?”

Rather than answer he stood up and drew her to her feet. He held her close and whispered in her ear, “Come back to my quarters with me. It’s more comfortable there. Once I’ve given you the information you need for your assignment, I’ll try to explain how I’ve survived this twisted system we have.”

The tension left her body and she leaned against him appreciatively. “I would be grateful, sir.”

*****

Laura returned to the recreation hall the following evening and looked for Martin. He had apparently been waiting for her, since he rose from his seat near the door and took her arm as soon as she stepped into the room. Wordlessly, he guided her to the corridor and stopped in an empty passageway near his quarters.

“How did it go?” he asked softly, with a quick glance in both directions to ensure they were alone.

“Fine. I can’t wait to go back to the surface again. It is so beautiful down there. And Mike was nice, just like you said he would be, and...”

Martin interrupted her enthusiastic account. “Is there anything they wanted you to tell me?”

“I’m sorry, sir,” Laura said, becoming contrite. He was far too busy to listen to her babble about her impressions of Earth. “Mike said he’d meet you next week, but you could send me again in the future if it is ever necessary. He was grateful for the uniforms.” Laura bit her false human lip in an effort to contain her excitement about her morning on the planet.

Martin hid his own amusement and shook his head slightly. Her excitement brought back memories of his initial trip to the surface and other visits since then. The cry of the gulls overhead, the sound of the ocean crashing to shore at his feet... was it any wonder Laura was so animated? “Come tell me about your morning,” he said softly as he took her hand in his and led her to his quarters.

Laura’s eyes widened in surprise. He wanted to hear about her excursion? She had no news, only silly ramblings. She slowed, causing him to turn and look at her.

“Do you think I don’t understand? I’ve been on the surface many more times than you,” Martin said, smiling at her. Her desire to talk overcame her hesitation and she willingly resumed the stroll to his quarters.

“I see now what you meant by distractions,” she whispered as she hastily removed her uniform. Right now, she was so desperate to talk to someone about her impressions of Earth, she didn’t care what was required to allow for honest conversation. He had told her only last night to separate her mind from her body, and right now, it seemed ridiculously easy to do just that. She barely felt his touch and was unaware of her own responses as she lost herself in telling him about her morning. If only it could always be this simple! She knew, though, that she'd have plenty of cause to try his other suggested coping strategies in the coming weeks.

“The containers were in the shuttle, just like you said they would be. I checked them again for homing devices, but there were none. Did you know that some of those uniforms are almost undamaged? Whoever picked them out did a good job,” Laura said.

Martin made a mental note to send a compliment through the network to the anonymous supplier of the discarded uniforms.

Laura skipped over her flight to the surface, resuming her narrative with her arrival at the rendezvous. “I took the cases and went inside the old building like you said. It smelled really dusty inside. No one was there, and I sat down on one of the cases and waited...”

*****

She never heard him approach, and only knew he was there when she felt the gun in her back. “Breathe wrong and I’ll fill you with holes,” the voice behind her said.

Laura didn’t move, remembering Martin’s warning that the older man would try to provoke her. “I’m Laura. Martin sent me. He couldn’t get away from the ship this morning. Diana called a staff meeting and he had to be there for it.”

A second person moved around in front of her and she had to tilt her head sharply to look up at him. “Put the gun down, Ham.”

The gun pressed even more firmly into her back, and the voice behind her said, “Not until she proves herself.”

Laura said, “Martin said to tell you I’m helping you against the dragon lady.” She didn’t understand the reference, but Martin had told her Mike Donovan would recognize the phrase.

“Put it down, Ham. Martin sent her,” the tall man ordered.

“You must be the one named Mike,” Laura said, looking up at the tall human looming over her.

He nodded, then knelt down in front of her. His eyes were a pale shade of green. She almost gasped when he put his hand over one of hers. He was so warm to the touch, she failed to notice that the gun was no longer pressing into her back. A shadow passed over her and she turned her head to look at the other man. He looked mean, just like Martin had described him. She liked the green–eyed human better and looked back at him.

Mike stood up and pulled her to her feet. “Are most humans as tall as you are?” she asked in an awed tone when she stood before him.

Mike smiled and squeezed her hand. “No.”

His other hand touched her cheek and she forced herself to stand still. Martin had assured her that the humans often touched each other without a sexual intent being implied, and had told her that Mike was the type of human who tended to touch his friends a lot.

“Is this your first time on the surface?” Mike asked her.

Laura nodded, wondering how he knew.

“Gooder, cut the starry-eyed crap. We’re here on business,” the older man said.

“Ignore him. He’s like that with everyone,” Mike assured her, though he released her hand and took a half-step away from her.

Laura collected herself and knelt to open the two cases. “New uniforms are almost impossible to get. These have been damaged in fighting, but I think you will be able to repair most of them. There are also some power cells in one of the cases, to power the weapons you have stolen. I’m sorry we were not able to obtain more to give you.”

Mike pulled a uniform out and whistled. “This is great! It’s hardly got a mark on it.”

“Look at the back, Gooder,” Ham said.

Mike turned the uniform around and saw the large charred spot. “Okay, but the front is fine. We can salvage the good sections and fix several uniforms from this one. Tell Martin thank you. And if he ever needs to send someone in his place again, he should think about sending you. Tell him we’ll meet him next week, at the usual spot,” Mike said as he closed the cases.

“Yes, sir,” Laura responded, then turned and lost herself in the shadows.

She walked quickly to her shuttle, trying to focus on returning to the ship and reporting to Martin. But her eyes couldn’t help but notice the vivid blue sky. The sun was warm on her face and there was a breeze that ruffled her hair as she walked. Her hand was still warm from where Mike had touched it, and she could see his green eyes so clearly in her mind. It took all of her discipline to return to the ship.

*****

Martin’s voice pulled her back to the present. “You did well, Laura,” he said.

She looked at his eyes, comparing their darker shade to the eyes she had gazed into earlier. “They’re so warm.”

He nodded. “And the sky is the most vivid shade of blue you can imagine,” he reflected and ran his fingers lightly over her face. “Wait until you see the ocean.”

Her face filled with excitement. “I want to see it now.”

“I know.” He sighed and pulled her head down to his so he could whisper directly into her ear. “I may not see you again for some time. I’m very closely watched. But the column will contact you again with assignments. Remember to always assume it’s a trap until the one who approaches you offers proof. The code words change often, and Diana’s spies are everywhere. And remember, the only way the system will change is if people like you get to a position where you can change policy. I expect you to mingle more with the crew, because we need you to rise through the ranks. You have a lot of talent, and I don’t want to see you waste it.”

“Understood, sir. Thank you for giving me this chance,” she nuzzled him once more, then rose to leave. As far as she could tell, he was asleep by the time she had dressed and departed his quarters.

*****

Philip scanned the pavement outside for what seemed like the millionth time that afternoon and concluded that guard duty was the most boring task ever created. At least they rotated shifts frequently. He paced near the door, trying to stay alert. He almost had the view from his post memorized, down to the cracks in the pavement. He could estimate the time of day simply by the angles of the shadows. He glanced at his watch. Two minutes had passed since he last checked the time. Maybe Ted would trade him posts, so they could exchange one boring view for another.

It was too quiet, and that didn’t help his concentration either. Megan and Drew were off on a reconnaissance mission, as were Alan and Darlene. Kim was taking her turn at the radio and Jackie was grocery shopping. Unknown to Jackie, Megan and Drew were actually monitoring her, to see how she behaved when faced with Visitor soldiers in the city, while Alan and Darlene were trying to mingle with the troops and glean new information on troop movements. Damian was sleeping and Blaine was lounging in the front compartment of the shuttle. That meant there was no one to even talk to while he stood and watched the area outside. It was almost enough to make him want to be back on the ship, where he was always too terrified to be bored.

A lone figure came around the corner and Philip squinted, trying to identify him by the shape of the silhouette that had a halo of sunlight around it. He shaded his eyes and saw the figure stumble, then catch himself against the building. The figure reached the shadows and Philip recognized Alan. A dark stain on Alan’s right leg told the story.

“Karen, Ted- get out here!” he shouted into the building before running to Alan’s side. Alan collapsed against him and Philip staggered under the sudden weight, struggling to recover his balance. He draped Alan’s arm across his shoulders and half-dragged, half-carried the unconscious Visitor towards the building.

Kim was the first one outside. She assessed the situation quickly and turned to Blaine, who had heard Philip’s call and was right behind her. “Go see if he was followed, then find Darlene,” she ordered, not concerned for the moment with the proprieties of rank.

“Ted, help get him inside,” Kim added, heading back into the building. She barged into the sleeping compartment of the shuttle and flicked on the lights. “Damian, wake up,” she called, reaching for her duffel bag and then for the shuttle’s first aid kit. “Alan’s been hurt. We’ll have to relocate if he was followed.”

By the time she exited the shuttle, Ted and Philip had Alan inside the building. “Put him on the table in there,” she instructed, pointing to the food room. She silently cursed her own awkwardness as she hurried to join them. What a time to be pregnant!

The human food had been shoved aside to make room for Alan. She dumped her bag and the medical kit on the table by his leg and bent to examine the wound. The pseudoskin was shredded around the edges. She muttered to herself, noting how rapidly the blood was oozing from his leg. “I was afraid this was going to happen.” She used a knife to cut away the cloth. “The bullet went in here...” She felt the back of his leg, craning her neck to see. “No exit wound, so it’s still in there. Just my luck. Right next to a major nerve. Getting it out may do more damage than the bullet itself, if he doesn’t bleed to death.”

Straightening, she spoke in a normal volume. “Put your hand here, press hard,” she said, taking Philip’s hand and placing it on what she hoped was a key pressure point. “We’ve got to control the bleeding,” she added as she pressed a thick wad of gauze to the mangled flesh. It quickly turned green as blood seeped from the wound.

“He's as good as dead anyway. He needs more than bandages,” Ted said quietly.

Kim sighed. "I know that." She glanced at Philip, silently asking for his opinion.

“Should we try to get him back to your lab?” Philip inquired.

“I don’t think we have a choice,” Kim replied. “Ted’s right. I’ve got to operate and get that bullet out, tie off any blood vessels I can’t repair, and irrigate the whole area to prevent infection. He’ll also need pain medication, and we certainly don’t have enough available here.” She bowed her head and closed her eyes, talking to herself. “Why didn’t I go to medical school? I’m hardly qualified to perform surgery... all I’ve ever done are dissections and minor procedures on lab animals.”

"What lab? What are you talking about?" Ted asked.

Kim turned to Damian, who was standing in the doorway. “Bring the car up as close as you can get it,” she said, then turned to take Alan’s pulse.

“I hope he survives the trip. He’s lost a lot of blood. His pulse is already weak.” Kim removed an I.V. line and bag of saline from her duffel bag. “Guess it’s a good thing I checked to be sure this was isotonic for you guys,” she muttered to herself as she cut through Alan’s sleeve and tore the pseudoskin from his arm.

“Here, hold this.” She shoved the saline bag into Ted’s hands and turned her attention to guiding the needle into Alan’s vein. She taped the tubing in place.

“What lab?” Ted persisted.

"At my house. I have supplies there that will help me get the bullet out. Until then, I can’t use the tissue regenerator.” Seeing confusion in his eyes, she added, “I’m human. I’ll explain the rest later. Right now, he needs treatment.”

Ted stood stunned, watching Kim replace the blood-soaked gauze with a temporary bandage from the shuttle’s medical kit.

Blaine stumbled in, carrying Darlene’s limp form.

“Is she hurt?” Kim asked. “Keep the pressure on,” she told Philip, before moving to examine the woman.

Blaine laid her on the floor and shook his head. “I didn’t see any blood.”

Kim knelt on the floor and checked Darlene’s pulse. It was strong and slow, just as it should be. “How long has she been unconscious?”

“Since I found her. It doesn’t look like anyone followed Alan back here,” Blaine answered, blissfully unaware of the drama playing out between Ted and Kim.

Kim removed Darlene’s contacts and handed them to Blaine so she could check Darlene’s pupils. “Head injury,” she concluded, and ran her fingers carefully through Darlene’s hair, feeling for a tell-tale lump. She didn’t notice Damian’s return.

“Roll her on her side,” Kim told Blaine as she tore Darlene’s wig off. The skin covering the back of her head was unbroken, though there was a definite lump where she had been struck. “At least she isn’t bleeding. She’ll probably wake up soon. I don’t think it’s that serious.”

Ted finally shook off his paralysis. “Karen, we can handle this. Take care of Alan,” he said softly, meeting her eyes for the first time since she’d told him who she was.

Kim nodded and let him help her to her feet. “Let’s get him in the car.”

She took hold of Alan’s feet, but Philip shook his head at her. “You shouldn’t be lifting him,” Philip told her.

Oblivious to Kim’s revelation, Damian took her place and helped Philip carry Alan to the waiting vehicle. “Where are we taking him?” he asked innocently.

Kim shook her head at him. She needed a minute to regroup and concentrate on Alan. “We’ll explain on the way.” She turned back to Ted as she fished her house key out of her duffel bag. “If you find out later that Alan was followed and have to relocate, we’ll reconnect with you through Paul. I expect we’ll be gone for several days.”

Ted nodded but said nothing. He watched the car leave and forced himself to deal with their more immediate problem. “Let’s put her in the shuttle,” he said and bent to help Blaine lift Darlene.

*****

Philip only had to ask Kim for directions a few times as they drove, freeing her to focus on Alan. His pulse was weak, but steady. She tried to ignore the cramps in her own legs, resulting from her awkward position on the back seat where Alan was sprawled. Philip had done her the favor of giving Damian a brief explanation, and she had tried to focus all of her attention on keeping Alan alive, rather than the inner turmoil she felt at possibly losing Damian’s friendship. Damian couldn’t stop watching her, and she tried not to flinch under his intense scrutiny.

When they reached Kim’s house, she got out and opened the garage door, then waved the car inside. Once the garage door was locked behind them, she went to unlock the door to her house, leaving Philip and Damian to get Alan out of the car.

“Freeze!” Kim aimed her gun at the door that was swinging open, then slowly went to see who was entering. “Geez, Judy, you trying to get yourself killed? Get inside and shut the door before anyone sees you.” She called back to the garage, “It’s okay!” knowing Philip and Damian were waiting to see if their help was required.

Judy snapped out of her daze and quickly stepped aside when she saw Philip and Damian carry Alan inside and down the stairs to the basement.

Once they reached the basement, Kim opened the hidden door and motioned for Judy to enter, then led the others down the second flight of stairs into the lab. Switching on lights, she cleaned off a bench. “Put him up here. Philip, go shut the doors so we don’t pick up any more strays. Damian, find something to hang that I.V. from; you might try the closet over there. Judy, get the halogen lamp and set it up so it shines on his leg.”

Kim gave her orders without questioning if any would be obeyed. She retrieved surgical instruments from the cabinets and assembled them on a cart she pulled over to where Alan lay. After donning gloves and hoping that three layers of plastic would not impede her too much, she injected painkiller near the wound and removed the bandages.

To sterilize the instruments quickly, she dipped them in diluted bleach and then in ethyl alcohol before passing them through a flame. The alcohol ignited and burned blue before going out. After waiting a few moments to let the metal cool, the instruments were ready for use.

She bent to her task with a single-minded focus. The only sounds for several minutes were Kim’s quiet mutterings and the clink of instruments as they were used and added to a discard pile. A bloody bullet was eventually placed next to the discarded scalpels without comment. She used the tissue regenerator in the deepest parts of the wound, then set it aside for more familiar instruments.

Finally, Kim straightened and picked up a bandage. Neat sutures closed the wound, the black threads barely visible against the background of dark green scales. They would dissolve in a few days. She tore a flap of pseudoskin away and cast it carelessly aside before applying a dressing from the shuttle first aid kit. Unlike bandages used on Earth, this one would bond permanently to Alan’s skin. It contained antifungal and antibacterial agents, as well as compounds that would speed healing. It would be shed with the outer skin during Alan’s next molt, and until that time would protect the area like no Earth bandages could.

When the dressing was in place, she checked his pulse and removed his contacts, then said, “I’ve done what I can. Now we wait. Let’s move him to the bed so he’ll be more comfortable.”

*****

Unsure of herself, but unable to stay away, Judy followed and watched them settle the Visitor into the bed in the room that opened off the lab. They removed his boots and put a pillow under his right knee so his injured leg would be elevated slightly. When they were done, Philip came and stood next to her, while Damian sank gratefully into a chair.

The female Visitor adjusted the I.V. line, then turned and approached her. “Judy, in spite of the scare you gave me upstairs, you’re a sight for sore eyes.” Her face broke into a smile. “I can’t believe you don’t recognize me,” she teased.

Judy’s brow furrowed, questioning the only conclusion she could come to. “Kim?”

The woman nodded. “It’s a long story,” Kim said and opened her arms for a hug.

“Kim!” Judy’s voice was more sure. She shut her eyes and embraced her. “How?”

Kim pulled back, serious again. “I know I have a lot of explaining to do.” She indicated the man lying unconscious on the bed. “That’s Alan. You’ve met Jacob before- Philip. And this is Damian. Before I tell you the rest, is Jeremy going to come looking for you?”

“He might. We saw the car.”

“Okay. Go get him. He may as well hear this, too. After what he’s seen so far, he’s hardly ignorant. Better to give him a balanced view of the situation so he doesn’t grow up as racist as I’ve heard his father is. Knock on the false wall when you come back, and we’ll let you in.” Kim put her arm around Judy’s shoulders and guided her back to the lab entrance.

“Are you okay?” Judy asked her softly before leaving.

Kim nodded. “I’m surviving. Try not to worry,” she urged, then closed the door behind Judy. She leaned against it and closed her eyes, trying to find the strength to go back into the bedroom.

Strong arms pulled her into an embrace and she clung to Philip, knotting his shirt in her fists. Of the four of them, only Alan was wearing a uniform, since he had been spying on the troops. “I can’t do this,” she whispered to him.

Philip held her more tightly. “Yes, you can. You saved Alan’s life. Answering a few questions should be easy after that. Remember, Damian likes you.”

“Maybe not anymore,” Kim said.

“I don’t believe that, and neither do you,” he chided her.

“Guess I can ditch the plastic now, huh?”

“You’ll be more comfortable,” he agreed. “Need help?”

She nodded and buried her face against his chest. Why was this so hard?

*****

She checked on Alan one more time before retreating to the bathroom, avoiding Damian’s stare the entire time. Philip stayed behind to say something to him, then joined her in the bathroom. She pulled off her clothes and stepped into the shower, wondering just how much of a mess her own skin was underneath.

Philip moved the shower curtain aside so he could reach her, and had her brace her hands on the tile wall. While she stood under the water, he removed her human pseudoskin and let it fall at her feet. Once that was done, he started to remove the reptilian skin. The seams came loose easily and the liquid coolant flowed out, running down her legs in green rivulets.

“God!” she exclaimed in response to the smell that rose up around her. Several months’ accumulation of sweat, dead skin cells, and a chemical cocktail had made an odor far more pungent than the dead skunks by the roads of her Pennsylvania youth. “Remind me not to do this again anytime soon.”

“And miss all this fun?” Philip asked her in a playful tone.

She shoved the pseudoskins to the far end of the tub with her foot and grabbed for the shampoo and her razor.

“If you need me, just call,” he told her and pulled the shower curtain back into place.

Kim didn’t answer. She was too absorbed in the delicious sensations of the water beating on her own face.

Philip closed the door behind him and checked Alan. He seemed to be no worse, though he was still unconscious. Finally, he sat down in the chair next to Damian’s.

“How long have you known?” Damian asked him quietly.

“Since the beginning. I helped her get to the ship in the first place.”

“Why didn’t you tell us?”

Philip searched Damian’s face for signs of anger, but found only a desire to understand. “Many reasons, one of whom was Darlene.”

Damian nodded and exhaled loudly as realization dawned. “She’s bad enough with us.” He shook his head, imagining the confrontations Kim had avoided with her deception. He glanced at the closed door, then back at Philip. “Is she going to be okay? She won’t look at me.”

“She’s afraid you’ll hate her for lying to you.”

“I don’t hate her!” Damian said quickly. “I’m just...shocked.”

“Imagine how Darlene’s going to feel!” Philip said, smiling.

“I wish I could be there to see her reaction. But she’s going to be even more miserable to live with from now on. Can’t we just lose her somewhere?” Damian said. He leaned his head back against the wall. “Do you think Alan is going to live?”

“I don’t know. At least he has a chance. Kim did more than we could have.”

“Yet she still thinks I’m going to hate her,” Damian mused aloud.

“She’s been too focused on Alan to think clearly about anything else. Just give her a few minutes to get herself together.”

They sat in silence after that, thinking their own thoughts while waiting for Kim to emerge from the bathroom. The water turned off and they could hear her moving around on the other side of the closed door.

“What the hell?!” they heard Kim exclaim.

Philip reached the door before Damian. He threw it open and found Kim standing in front of the mirror. Her damp hair had been combed and she had gotten dressed. She was staring at her neck. A patch of skin more than two inches wide and extending half-way around her neck had turned a dark green. It was completely painless, though it bore a vague resemblance to a bruise.

Philip moved up behind her and put his arms around her. He looked over her shoulder at their reflections and recognized a hint of scale patterns in the discolored skin.

Kim shook her head. “Craving raw meat is bad enough, and now I get to look like I lost a battle with a paint can! I suppose the next thing I know, I’ll be waking up from hibernation.” She gave him a weak smile. “Please tell me this is normal,” she said softly as she leaned against him.

“For our women, yes. The dark band will go all the way around your neck as the time of delivery nears,” Philip explained gently.

“It’s cheaper than jewelry, I guess,” Kim remarked as she touched the discolored area. “And more original than stretch marks. Remind me to thank Diana for this little bonus.”

“You’re getting a rather long list of things to thank her for,” Philip bantered back.

“Don’t I know it.”

“How did you get pregnant?” Damian asked, finally giving voice to some of his questions.

Kim turned and eyed him carefully. “How do you think?” She’d decided when she was in the shower that the best way to handle the situation was to treat him no differently than she had before.

“No, I meant...” He broke off when he realized she was teasing him like she often did.

Kim smiled at him, then grew serious. “Diana’s medical experiments had an unexpected effect on me when I was guarding a human girl in her lab. Believe me, it was quite a surprise to me, too. Is Alan awake yet?”

Damian shook his head. He was pleased that she was talking to him again. He had so many things he wanted to ask her, he didn’t know where to begin.

“I’m surprised Judy hasn’t come back yet,” she said.

Philip squeezed her more tightly. “She’ll be here soon. She’s been worried about you.”

“I’ve been worried about me, too.”

As if on cue, they heard the faint sounds of knocking. Philip excused himself to go let Judy and Jeremy in, leaving Kim to face Damian alone.

She turned to him, chewing on her bottom lip pensively before she spoke. “For what it’s worth, I didn’t like lying. But I couldn’t risk Darlene’s reaction- I didn’t have anywhere else to go.”

“It’s okay.” Damian smiled at her. “No one likes dealing with Darlene.” He paused a moment, then offered his hand. As she reached to clasp it, he realized he was treating her like another Visitor and tried to switch to a human handshake.

Kim shook her head as she clasped his hand firmly and raised it back into the Sirian configuration. “You don’t have to treat me any differently than you did before. Everything else I’ve told you about me is true.”

Damian nodded acceptance of her correction, but realized that some things HAD changed. Her hand radiated warmth into his. Intrigued by her body heat, he reached out and touched her cheek, brushing away the wet hair that had been sticking to it. She nuzzled his palm in response and closed her eyes.

She found herself being drawn into his arms and she returned the embrace gratefully. “Thank you for being so understanding,” she murmured softly.

“There are so many things I want to ask you,” Damian admitted.

“I’ll tell you anything you want to know. You can work on the shuttle while I talk myself hoarse... on one condition.”

“What?” He released her and pulled back a bit so he could look at her.

“We lock Darlene outside,” Kim said as she smiled at him.

“Absolutely.”

“Aunt Kim?” Jeremy’s voice carried in from the other room.

“In here, kiddo,” Kim answered, leading Damian out of the bathroom into the bedroom, being careful to speak loudly enough for Jeremy to hear, yet not so loudly she disturbed Alan.

He appeared in the doorway to the bedroom and stopped, stunned by her haggard appearance. Kim opened her arms to him and he moved into her embrace. “You’re taller, Jeremy.”

“You’re fatter,” he fired back, smirking up at her.

“You rotten kid!” Kim grinned and tickled him under one arm. “What happened to your manners, hmm?”

Jeremy laughed and pulled away from her tickling.

“Kim, take this dog before he jumps,” Judy said, directing her attention away from Jeremy.

Kim turned towards the door and saw her dog Muff squirming in Judy’s arms. “Muff!” His whole body wriggled in excitement as she reached for him, and his tongue threatened to moisten her face, unmindful of her constant scolding about licking. “I think he’s happy to see me. Aren’t you, Muff?” Kim held him under her chin, and pressed her cheek against his soft coat. She closed her eyes and reveled for a moment in the unconditional adoration she was receiving. “God, I’ve missed this little fur ball.”

“I thought as much,” Judy said quietly. She surreptitiously observed the two Visitors’ reactions to Kim’s dog and wondered what they thought of the scene. Were they even familiar with the idea of having animals as companions? Jacob had stayed in her home, so he was aware of the dogs. But he couldn’t have known Muff belonged to Kim. Did it change his view of Kim at all, she wondered, to see the obvious affection between Kim and an animal?

“So how long have you been pregnant, Aunt Kim?” Jeremy asked with the lack of tact characteristic of his age.

“Forever!” Kim said and sighed, keeping her eyes closed. She was going to have to start answering everyone’s questions soon.

“It always seems that way,” Judy said reassuringly, trying to ease the tension Jeremy’s comment had brought out in Kim’s posture, despite her efforts to appear unfazed.

“Why don’t you bring in a couple of chairs from the lab, Jeremy? I want to stay in here so I can keep an eye on Alan,” Kim said as she released the teen from her embrace. While Jeremy went to do her bidding, she eased herself down onto the bed next to Alan and scooted up against him, leaning her back against the headboard. Her body heat would be helpful to him now, and her back ached from the day’s exertions. His injured leg was furthest from her, so she didn’t have to worry too much about hurting him with a careless movement. She adjusted some of the pillows so they supported her sore muscles, and waited for Muff to settle down next to her. He gave the supine form a curious sniff, then lay down in Kim’s lap.

Kim touched Alan’s cheek with the back of her hand and he instinctively turned his face into the warmth. In sleep, his tendency to seek out warmth was no longer hidden behind manners and protocols. Watching him, she wondered what clues she inadvertently gave about her own physiology when she was asleep. “I don’t envy him. He’s going to have quite a shock when he wakes up.” She shook her head but didn’t look up. “I don’t even know where to begin.”

Kim didn’t want to tell Judy and Jeremy any of the details, but knew they desperately needed to know more than they currently did. She decided to focus on the fact she had infiltrated to find Andy and omit the details of how she had accomplished the deception. She would spare them the details about the culture she had immersed herself in. Maybe, if she focused on her own motives, skimmed over _how_ Philip had found her while still crediting him for helping her, and left Martin unnamed, she’d be able to get through this. She could tell Damian the rest of her story later.

“How about the day Andrew was taken?” Judy suggested softly as she accepted a stool from Jeremy. Philip and Damian had already settled back into their chairs. Silence settled over the room.

Kim nodded, took a deep breath, and began.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No, it is not really realistic for Kim to have all of these supplies for animal research and surgery in her lab. Purchasing them isn't something an average Jane or Joe can really do. But she was pretty messed up after Marc died and bent a few rules until they screamed in agony. A few may have been broken. But if we have aliens from outer space running around in pseudoskin that is smaller on the outside than their real faces on the inside (based on the artwork and faces we saw), trusting that Kim found a way isn't too much of a stretch (I hope!) :-)


	6. Truth is a Form of Freedom

 Jackie didn’t notice that anything was amiss when she returned from grocery shopping until she went to set the bag she carried on the table. There, she noticed a dark stain in the wood, near the front edge. Someone had shoved the food items to the back, and some of the containers had ended up on the floor. She bent down to pick up a can that had rolled close to the front table leg and noticed there was another dark spot on the concrete. She touched her fingers to the area, wondering what it was. Come to think of it, no one had been guarding the entrance she had used on her return, though Blaine was standing guard at the entrance at the rear of the building. Where was everyone else?

Concerned, she went to the radio room next door. She’d caught a glimpse of Ted sitting in there on her way past. “Ted? Has something hap-” She stopped mid-sentence when she saw his face. Never before had the pseudoskins the Visitors wore looked so much like a mask. She felt her own face grow pale and she sank limply into the chair by the door.

Ted didn’t even look up. His gaze was focused intently on one of the knots in the surface of the wooden table. His finger traced around the edge in a continuous circle. When he finally answered her, his voice was as lifeless as his mask. “Alan was shot; Darlene was knocked unconscious. She’s in the shuttle.”

“What about Alan? Is he...”

“I don’t know. Karen, Jacob, and Damian left with him a few minutes ago.”

“To go where?” Jackie demanded as Megan and Drew’s forms darkened the doorway.

Ted’s finger kept tracing the knot. “Karen said to get the bullet out of his leg, she needed supplies from her lab. They were going to her house.”

 “Her house?” Jackie asked, her voice growing faint. That could only mean that....

“She’s human,” Megan quietly finished her unspoken thoughts.

Ted and Jackie turned accusing eyes towards her. “You knew?” Ted asked.

Megan nodded. “Her real name is Kim.”

“Oh, my God,” Jackie said under her breath. She stared blankly at the wall in front of her. “She really did it... but she wouldn’t tell me.”

Anger boiled up within her and her eyes shot daggers towards Megan. “And she got you to lie for her, too. I trusted you!”

“You didn’t need to know,” Megan said, remaining calm in the face of Jackie’s wrath.

“The hell I didn’t!” Jackie raged, jerking to her feet. She paced in the cramped confines of the office. “How could you keep this from me? How could you lie to me like that? I’ve been worried sick about Kim, and she’s been right under my nose all this time!” She wheeled suddenly and pinned Megan with a hard stare. “Give me one good reason for you to keep that from me!”

“She’s protecting someone,” Megan answered.

Megan’s answers had grown progressively softer as her own voice grew louder and Jackie found that doubly annoying.” I don’t need her protection!” Jackie hissed from between clenched teeth.

“It’s not you that she’s protecting,” Megan said, refusing to be provoked.

“Martin,” Ted guessed in a harsh whisper.

Jackie had to strain to hear him. Damn! How could you have a good fit of temper if no one ever yelled? Drew looked surprised by all of this, and yet he hadn’t said a word.

Megan nodded. “The leadership must be protected from individuals like Darlene. Her attitude is like a poison. If this information were to spread, and become corrupted in the process...”

“It could undermine his authority with the less dedicated columnists,” Ted finished for her. “Too many of them don’t know the truth behind the mission yet. Rumors could twist the truth around until it’s unrecognizable.”

Jackie wasn’t sure she even followed their talk of fifth column authority, but she didn’t care. Kim had lied, and Megan had lied for her. Doggedly, she clung to the one fact that meant the most to her. “That still doesn’t explain why you didn’t tell me!”

“Given your present condition, we decided it wasn’t worth the risk.” Megan told her, reminding her of her constant battle against the conversion process.

“And just who comprised the illustrious ‘we?’” Jackie shouted. If no one else would yell, by God, she’d yell enough for all of them.

“Jacob and myself. Kim abided by our decision.”

“Why Jacob?” Ted asked.

“Jacob is the one who told me about Kim, and about the decision to rescue Jackie from the mothership. Of all of us, he is the only one who knew about Kim and Jackie both, from the beginning.”

“That’s just great,” Jackie fumed, resuming her pacing.

“How did Jacob know?” Ted asked.

“Apparently, he helped her infiltrate in the first place.”

Jackie whirled on Megan. “I damn well don’t believe this!” She shoved past Megan, unwilling to be confined to the office any longer.

“Don’t let her leave the building,” Megan instructed Drew quietly before going in to sit down in the chair Jackie had vacated. She leaned back, reveling in the warmth that lingered there.

Jackie paced along the long wall furthest from the shuttle. She was so hurt, felt so betrayed, she couldn’t think clearly. Not only had Kim been living with her and pretending to be a Visitor, but Jacob had been involved in the deception from the beginning. Her pacing slowed as the thought penetrated. Philip. “The lying bastard!” she yelled as loudly as she could before kicking the wall with her foot and resuming her frantic march through the building.

Megan looked out at Jackie, then back at Ted. “You can see for yourself why we didn’t tell Jackie before. It’s unfortunate I had to tell her this way.” She settled back into her chair. “Are _you_ all right?”

Ted looked blankly at her. “What am I supposed to say? I can’t believe we didn’t suspect, after all this time...” He shook his head. “Why wouldn’t she tell us? Jackie’s right. Protecting Martin isn’t a good enough reason for keeping it a secret from the rest of us. I agree you couldn’t tell Jackie, but the rest of us have not been converted. Even Darlene is dedicated to the fifth column effort, no matter how bad her attitude towards humans seems sometime.”

“Since Kim came, has she done anything that wasn’t helpful in some way? I’ve seen her give you money. Damian told me she suggested looking in the other buildings for the furniture. She’s given all of us hints on how to deal with the other humans, citing her experience with them on the mothership. The real question is: do you still trust her, knowing she’s human?”

Ted sighed. “She sacrificed herself to give Alan a chance- you should have seen her, it was amazing to watch. Yes, I trust her. Surely she would know us well enough by now to realize that. We’re all here because we wanted to protect the humans! I don’t understand why you are so fixated on our tolerance.”

“I’m not.” Megan took a deep breath and tried again to explain. “Ted, try to understand. Jackie knew that Kim was going to try to infiltrate; the slightest slip from anyone would have been enough for her to figure it out. And then there’s Darlene. Have you considered what Kim would have faced if the rest of you knew who she was?”

Megan looked down at her hands in her lab, “I don’t know if I should show it to you or not, but under the circumstances, the more you know, the better, I think.”

“Show me what?”

“A letter. Karen wrote it to Jacob and left it in her lab for him. He showed it to me when he wanted my opinion on whether or not we should go against her decision and tell the rest of you. It would be best if she were here to talk to you herself. Since she isn’t, maybe the letter would help you understand her motives a little better,” Megan informed him. She stood up. “It should still be in the shuttle. Leave the radio for now. And pull Blaine off of guard duty for a few minutes. You should all hear this, and come to terms with it, before the others get back.”

*****

A few minutes later, Megan joined the small group and took a seat among the collection of chairs and couches that had been assembled near the privacy screens and beds. In her hands she held the envelope Jacob had retrieved from Kim’s house. Jackie, unwilling to sit, paced behind one of the couches. Thankfully, Darlene was sleeping. Having regained consciousness with a pounding headache, she had decided to stay in the shuttle and rest. The others looked in on her periodically and made sure she could be roused, but otherwise left her alone.

Megan opened the envelope and removed the folded sheet of paper. She smoothed it carefully while trying to decide how much background information she needed to provide. “Before I read this, you should know about her brother Andrew, and how Karen and Jacob first met.”

She filled them in with the facts as she knew them, then read them the letter, which she had to translate into English, while observing their reactions. Several times, Jackie stopped and stood in place, wiping tears from her eyes. Ted sat with his arms folded across his chest and tended to nod in agreement to different statements Kim had made. Blaine perked up in surprise several times, and even interrupted with an occasional question. Drew seemed to be reacting with grudging respect. Of all of them, he was the one who most felt like an outcast and thus he seemed to identify with Kim’s fears of banishment. Overall, their responses pleased Megan and reassured her that Kim would be welcomed back in spite of residual tensions related to her deception.

“She told the truth then,” Ted said when Megan was done. “About everything. Her duty on the ship, the pregnancy... everything she told us _was_ true, or as close to true as she could make it without revealing everything.”

“Yes. And it hasn’t been easy for her. She’s grieving for her brother, facing a very difficult pregnancy, trying to protect Martin, and helping us every way she can.”

“I wonder how much Martin knows,” Drew finally spoke.

“As much as circumstances allowed her to tell him, I expect. You know how difficult it can be to convey information on board,” Megan answered. She looked to Ted and Blaine. “And perhaps now you understand why she turned you down. It would have taken advantage of your ignorance of the truth, which she made every effort to avoid doing.”

Ted’s eyes widened as he realized what Megan was trying to tell him without Jackie’s understanding. “But Jacob knew,” he said, nodding to himself. It did explain why Karen had responded solely to Jacob’s advances for liaisons, and gently turned the others away. Megan had known Kim’s physiology and Darlene’s attitude, and made herself available to all of the men as a way of compensating.

Jackie watched the exchange intently, realized what was being implied, and decided she didn’t want to understand after all. Being friends with the Visitors was one thing, sleeping with them was a different matter entirely. And judging from the expressions on the others’ faces, they felt the same way.

Megan brought the conversation back to its real purpose. “Karen needs us. Darlene will be difficult, but I don’t think her attitude should be the deciding factor here. Karen’s proven her loyalty and I don’t think we should turn her out. No one should be alone when having a baby, even in normal circumstances.”

“I agree, but we aren’t qualified to help her if things go wrong,” Ted said. And as the leader of their group, his opinion was policy.

“She knows that,” Megan reminded him. “Besides, we may yet get a fifth column doctor on the surface. If not, Jackie and I both have personal experience we can draw on.”

Jackie nodded absently and made a mental note to ask Megan about that later. What had happened to Megan’s child?

“Jackie,” Megan said, waiting for the human to give her full attention to her before continuing. “She needs you to be the friend you always have been. Can you look past the lies and do that for her?”

Jackie looked away, her mind going back to her own first pregnancy. Jeremy’s father had left her before she had found out she was pregnant and Kim had been there through it all, never once flagging in her support. Whatever Kim may have thought about Jeremy’s father, she had kept her silence, choosing instead to validate Jackie’s right to feel pain over the failed relationship. She’d even been Jackie’s Lamaze coach in the delivery room. Jackie considered how, later, Kim had stood by her when she got married, and celebrated when Justin was born. And during the dark years Kim had faced in her own life, she had turned to Jackie for the same level of support she had once provided. After all they had been through together, could Jackie turn away now?

Damnit, though, she’d lied about who she was, where she was... and when on the ship had been the one to escort her to the torture chamber. Kim had admitted to it herself. Could she ever forgive Kim for that? Could she also remember that Kim had most likely been the one to plead to the column for her release? It was so obvious, in retrospect, why Philip had broken her out and not told Jackie they had met once before. Jackie would have figured it out even then, which would have led the Visitors straight to Martin if any of them had been caught. Truly, Kim and Philip had lied to protect their allies, not to betray Jackie’s trust.

And yet, Kim was pregnant with a Visitor’s child. A hybrid baby with a reptile for a father. Who knew what the child would look like, what odd combination of traits would be melded into a face? Could she bring herself to love such a child? Jackie wasn’t sure. Obviously, Kim was concerned about Jackie’s capacity for tolerance as well. She’d said so in the letter she had written to Philip.

She could feel the collective gaze of the Visitors as they waited to hear her answer.

When it came right down to it, Kim was her friend. What choice did she have? Jackie flung herself into one of the vacant overstuffed chairs and looked skyward. “I knew I should have done that Ph.D. program in herpetology. Julie and I could have set up a medical practice together.”

Growing serious, she looked at Megan. “First thing in the morning, we’re going to the library. And the bookstore. And wherever else I can think of. If we’re going to be a modern version of Florence Nightingale and Clara Barton, we have some studying to do.”

*****

Philip didn’t comment when he noticed Kim skimming over some aspects of her story. Instead, he stayed silent, watching Kim try to explain her motives and reasoning, and observing the responses of her audience. Of everything she talked about, her pregnancy seemed to be the most difficult subject for her to discuss with Judy. Philip assumed the problem was culturally based, since she displayed no such hesitation with Damian or himself. When Kim was finished, the questions began.

“Kim, I still don’t see how the child could be a hybrid. It’s not possible, especially without your cooperation,” Judy said.

“Judy, please trust me on this, as improbable as it seems, it is the truth.” Kim looked at Philip and gave him a wan smile.

“Is that why your voice sounds funny?” Jeremy piped up.

Kim shook her head as she unconsciously touched the scars on her throat. “No. I altered my voice with a bit of experimental self-surgery.”

“So when are you going to switch it back?” Jeremy persisted.

“I don’t even know if I can. It doesn’t matter, either way is all right,” Kim answered honestly. She leaned her head back and tried to stifle a yawn. “If you want to write your mother a letter, Jeremy, we’ll take it to her when we go back.”

“We should go and let you sleep. You look exhausted,” Judy said as she got up. She indicated the dog, who was sleeping under Kim’s hand. “Do you want me to leave him here?”

“Yes, but you should take him anyway,” Kim responded and picked up her furry companion. After a quick hug, she handed him over to Judy. “Thanks for bringing him.”

“We’ll come back tomorrow evening. Is there anything you want me to bring? Anything you need?” the older woman asked.

“No, we’ll be fine,” Kim replied, then changed her mind. “Actually, do you still have your stethoscope?”

Judy thought for a moment, trying to recall if she had given it away. “I think so. If I still have it, I know where it would be.”

“Thanks. See you later. G’night, Jeremy.”

He gave her a silent wave in reply and followed Judy out. Kim yawned and blinked several times, trying to stay alert. She didn’t see Philip trail after them so he could secure the door. She placed her fingers on Alan’s neck as she had every few minutes all evening and checked his pulse. Thankfully, it remained steady.

“I’m sure you noticed that I skimmed over a lot of details with Judy, but I’m too tired right now to remember what they were. Maybe tomorrow I can tell you the rest,” Kim said, looking at Damian with bleary eyes. Talking had drained the last of her energy, and fatigue was quickly settling over her. She doubted she would be able to stay awake for more than a few minutes.

As if on cue, Philip returned with a blanket. He put one arm under Kim’s knees and the other around her shoulders, and gently slid her away from the headboard so she could lie down. Realizing she was too tired to protest, he shook out the blanket and covered her and Alan with it before turning out the light. “Just sleep. We’ll wake you if Alan needs anything,” he murmured softly.

Kim mumbled something in reply about pain medication, then rolled onto her side. A protective arm slid over Alan’s chest and she snuggled down under the blanket so her head was against his shoulder. Within moments, she was sleeping soundly.

Philip motioned for Damian to follow him and they picked up the stools and took them into the lab. Philip dimmed the lights out there, retrieved some items from a drawer, then sat down. He indicated the cot. “We can take turns sleeping there, but I’m not tired yet.”

“Me, either,” Damian admitted as he settled onto the other stool.

“You have probably guessed she skipped over many of the details. There’s a lot Judy doesn’t know, and Kim has been tying to introduce things to her slowly.”

Damian nodded. “Karen said she was too tired right now, but she’d tell me the rest tomorrow.”

“I can tell you now,” Philip said with a smile. “Her real name is Kim, though I don’t think she cares what you call her.” He held up the items he had retrieved and Damian recognized the bottle of saline. “I assume you didn’t have time to pack your own case.”

Damian shook his head, bemused.

“Kim’s brother wore corrective lenses, so she has lots of supplies down here.”

“How long were you here with her?” Damian asked as he eased the lenses from his dry eyes. In so many ways, the contacts were worse to wear than the pseudoskin.

“I’m not sure how long it was exactly. We were too busy to keep track. A few months, maybe.” Philip removed his own contacts and blinked several times in relief. It was unfortunate that Judy would be returning so soon. Otherwise, he’d consider removing the entire pseudoskin, even though reapplying it was a significant chore. He settled for taking out the dental appliances that hid his own teeth beneath human-looking ones.

“Did you wear the contacts during the day when you were here?” Damian was curious.

Philip shook his head vehemently. “I didn’t even wear the pseudoskin after awhile. She really doesn’t care.” His eyes grew distant as he thought back. “And she’s so warm....”

Damian sighed in appreciation and let his own mind wander. “Is it really different?”

Philip’s eyes focused on him and he nodded. “In some ways. Not just the warmth, either. Their bodies are softer, too.” He saw Damian cue him to continue before removing his own dentures. It was nice to finally have someone to talk to about everything. With Megan, there were some things he hadn’t mentioned, just because they were things only another male would understand. He leaned an elbow on the edge of the bench and settled in for a long conversation.

*****

Alan woke to the sensations of warmth and pain. He felt disoriented as he looked around the dimly lit, unfamiliar room. Panic set in when he remembered being attacked. He tried to sit up, but was hampered by an arm across his chest.

“Alan, relax,” Damian said softly. He moved to Alan’s side from the chair in the corner where he had been keeping a vigil. “Just lie still. You’re safe here.”

“Where are we?”

“Let’s start with the easy questions, okay? Are you in any pain?”

Alan nodded. The throbbing in his leg had awakened him.

“Okay. Karen can take care of it. Kim, I mean.” Damian pointed to the human woman lying next to Alan with her warm arm flung across his body. “That is Karen, except she’s really a human named Kim. You should be nice to her, because she saved your life. We’re in her house in L.A. Jacob’s here, too. He’s sleeping in the other room.”

Damian reached across Alan and shook Kim’s shoulder gently. “Kim. Wake up.”

Kim stirred, moving closer to Alan without waking.

Damian persisted. “Kim,” he said, a bit more firmly.

She opened her eyes, frowning at first, then blinked a few times and withdrew her arm from across Alan’s chest. Propping herself up on one elbow, she rubbed at her eyes and tried to shake the groggy feeling she had.

Kim brushed the hair from her face and stifled a yawn. “So you finally woke up. Good.” She looked at the clock and sat up the rest of the way. “And you’re long overdue for pain medicine. I’ll be right back, so just lie still.” She crawled out of bed with a yawn, being as careful as she could to avoid jarring the bed and causing Alan more discomfort.

“Darlene. We have to get to Darlene.” Alan started to get up again, but Damian pushed him back down by his shoulders.

“Darlene is fine. We already found her. Now lie still.”

“How long have we been here?” Alan asked.

“Several hours. It’s almost three in the morning.” Damian shook his head. “I can’t believe how warm you are. Must be nice, sleeping next to her like that.”

Alan wasn’t sure how to respond, so said nothing.

Damian moved his chair over to the bedside so he could sit down to talk. When he was settled, he looked carefully at Alan. “I know it’s a surprise. But she had good reasons for what she did. And she risked herself to treat your injuries. Want to tell me what happened?”

Kim came back into the room and turned on a small light that was on the table next to the bed. “This will help cut the pain and will probably make you drowsy,” she explained before injecting it into the I.V. line that still ran into his arm.

Alan looked at the clear tubing, noticing it for the first time. It was different than the treatment he would have received on the ship, but the concept of replacing lost fluids was not new to him and he recognized the I.V. for what it was. “Thank you,” he said softly when she was done.

“You’re welcome.” Kim turned to Damian. “I’m going to go retrieve a few things from upstairs. It won’t take long.” Seeing the obvious interest in his expression, she put a restraining hand on his shoulder. “I’ll give you the grand tour later,” she promised him before slipping quietly from the room.

Damian nodded and turned back to Alan. “You were going to tell me what happened,” he prompted.”

Alan thought for a moment, trying to remember. “I’m not sure. Darlene and I had posed as checkpoint guards on the other side of the city, then had come back to our sector by shuttle. Not long after we left the shuttle, three humans attacked us from behind. They had knives. Darlene was slammed against the side of a building and hit her head. I finally got a chance to get to my firearm and shot one of them. The one who had shoved Darlene pulled a gun out of his jacket and shot me before I was able to kill him. The third one tried to get Darlene’s firearm off of her, and I had to shoot him, too. I remember I carried Darlene away from the area, but I was getting really weak. I put her down in an alley and decided I should try to get back on my own and send someone else to go get her.” His brow furrowed as he strained to recall. “I don’t remember anything else after that.”

Damian picked up the narration. “You made it to the outside of our building. Blaine went to see if you were followed and found Darlene. Kim examined your leg and said she had to get the bullet out before she could use the tissue regenerator, and she said she had to bring you here to do it. She probably saved your life. You were bleeding too much for simple bandages to do any good.”

Alan still didn’t state an opinion about the situation and Damian grew concerned. Leaning forward, he peered at Alan intently. “Look. I know you’ve had some reservations about the humans, in spite of being in the fifth column. But you have to get past that. Whatever you may think about them in general, Kim saved your life. She’s been through a lot, and is virtually alone. And she told the truth when she said she was pregnant with a hybrid child. She’s very intelligent, very determined, and deserves your respect. Your friendship wouldn’t hurt, either.”

“What am I supposed to say to her?”

“The same things you always have. Ask her about life here if you want. She knows it’s an awkward situation. Just try, okay?”

Alan nodded and closed his eyes as the medicine started to take effect.

*****

When Kim returned, Alan was sleeping once more. She entered quietly and leaned crutches against the table next to the bed. “These are from when Andy broke his ankle a couple of years ago. Alan will need them for awhile. His leg is going to hurt too much to bear any weight.” She laid a pair of sweat pants and one of her T-shirts over the handles of the crutches. “Those should fit him all right. I imagine he’ll want to change out of that blood-soaked uniform when he starts to feel a little better.”

“You’ve thought of everything,” Damian observed.

Kim shook her head and gave him a very somber look. “Don’t kid yourself. I’m not a doctor; I don’t even come close. I’m operating on instinct, common sense, and luck. I learned as much as I could when I was on the ship, but it’s nothing compared to what I still need to know.”

*****

Kim went back to bed in hopes she would get a little bit more sleep, but lay there instead thinking about her day. What was the reaction like back at the soundstage?

Ted had always been quiet but friendly. She knew the burden of command weighed heavily on him, but he always tried to project confidence, even when asking for their opinions. Ever patient, he made a conscious effort to make Darlene more comfortable. She really wasn’t worried about his reaction.

Darlene’s response was certain to be negative, but that would hardly be a surprise. Blaine was harder to read, mostly because he and Alan kept to themselves when “off duty.”

She looked at Alan, who lay sleeping beside her. Even off the ship, he and Blaine had seemed conscious of rank and the unwritten rule against fraternization between their own level of service and the other fifth columnists. Still, Alan had been friendly and patient when he had showed her how to operate the radio equipment. Kim had the impression she would like him a lot if he’d just let her get to know him. The question now was if he would give her that chance.

Jackie’s reaction, in many ways, was the most difficult to predict. Between what Jackie had endured on the mothership and the fact that Kim had lied to her since, it was difficult to say just what sort of reception she would receive when she returned to the soundstage.

At least Damian was sticking by her. Sweetheart that he was, he had insisted she lie in the bed, leaving him to pass the rest of the night in the chair. And though he had agreed to take turns with Philip on the cot, he had made no move to follow through. What she had done to deserve his friendship, she had no idea. Sleep finally overcame her while she was mulling over this last thought.

*****

Kim woke up and realized she was alone in the bed. Bleary-eyed, she got up and ventured out into the lab. “Ready for more painkiller?” she asked Alan. He was stretched out on the cot, dressed in the extra clothes she had brought from upstairs, and talking with Philip and Damian, who had perched on stools nearby. From the looks of it, the three of them had been there for awhile. Most likely, she had been the topic of conversation.

He nodded, unsure what else there was to say.

Kim pretended not to notice and busied herself getting the syringe ready. She pointed to the I.V. line. “If you want, we could get rid of this now. It’s served its purpose, as long as you can keep liquids down.”

“What about the pain medicine?” Damian asked, sparing Alan the need to inquire.

“That can be injected directly. I’ve just used the I.V. to avoid stabbing you with yet another needle,” she said, directing her answer to Alan.

“Take it off,” he answered and watched as she removed the tubing, used the needle already in his arm to deliver the pain medication, then slid the I.V. needle out. She pressed her thumb on the spot where it had broken the skin and checked his pulse while she waited. He watched her carefully for any signs of aversion or hesitation and saw none. How could that be? None of them were wearing their contacts, yet she seemed unaffected by the sight of their real eyes. She neither avoided eye contact nor held it longer than usual. Damian’s and Philip’s dentures lay on the counter in plain view, but she acted as if nothing had changed.

When she was satisfied that he was not going to bleed, she removed her hand and gathered up the syringe and discarded I.V. solution. Her stomach rumbled warningly and she went into the small alcove that served as a kitchen. Opening the fridge, she saw several rats one of them had moved from the freezer to thaw. At least finding things for them to eat wasn’t going to be a problem, though nothing appealed to her. It didn’t help when she was nauseated most of the time, and craved meat the rest. She checked the freezer and surveyed the cupboards with the same result. “There’s absolutely _nothing_ here to eat.”

She must have spoken more loudly than she realized, because Philip immediately responded, “There are plenty of rats in the fridge.”

Kim stepped back into the lab with a mock glare. “Thanks a lot! You’re a big help. Unless of course, you _intend_ for me to choke on the bones.” She studied him for a moment and waved a warning finger at him. “Don’t think I don’t realize what you’re trying to do!”

He smiled at her and she retreated once again into the kitchen, finally settling on a can of beef vegetable soup. With luck, she’d be able to keep it down long enough to digest it.

While the soup heated in the microwave, she pressed her hands against her lower back. The constant ache there had become as much a part of her as the nausea and fatigue. Kim sighed and wondered how much longer she’d be pregnant. A part of her dreaded the birth, since she didn’t know if she’d survive, while another part just wanted to reach the end of the ordeal, regardless of the outcome.

“Don’t tell me you want some,” she said to Philip when she felt him press his hands against her back and massage the sore muscles.

“Hardly,” he said, then lowered his voice. “You okay?”

Kim nodded. “Tired, achy, nauseated...the usual.”

The microwave beeped and she removed her meal and carried it into the lab. Philip sat down behind her, continuing to rub her back while she ate. He and Damian kept the conversation going, though Kim hardly paid attention to it. Her energy was focused on eating in spite of the nausea. She ate half of what was in the bowl, then pushed it away.

“That’s all?” Philip asked softly. He remembered her previously voracious appetite and the way she always seemed to be eating when they were in the lab before. Now that the pseudoskin was gone, he could tell her own health had suffered greatly in the last several months. He tried not to pester her about it, but her lack of appetite concerned him.

“You try eating when you feel nauseated all the time,” Kim groused. She closed her eyes and rested her head in her hands.

“Considering what you’re eating, it’s no wonder,” Damian commented, eyeing the uneaten soup.

“I know. Cooked vegetables... I may as well eat poison, right? Believe me, I’ve had worse.” Unwillingly, her thoughts turned to Andrew. She felt Philip squeeze her shoulder reassuringly before resuming the massage on her back.

“What did you eat on the ship?” Damian asked. She’d mentioned a few minutes ago that the bones in the rats would choke her, and it had got him wondering about how she had managed on the ship.

Kim straightened and opened her eyes so she could look at him. “Raw meat. I just avoided whole animals. The larger ones, anyway. Insects and worms were manageable, though disgusting. Lots of beef and chicken. Now and then, Martin smuggled me some fruit. Being pregnant actually was a help, since it made me crave raw meat. I get ill just smelling it cooking- even the little bit that is in the soup has been making my stomach roll. There have been a couple of times with Jackie’s grill that I... Ouch!” Kim bowed her head, wincing in pain. Her right hand went to her ribs. “Cut it out, kiddo.”

“What’s wrong?” Damian asked, immediately alarmed.

“I just got kicked in the ribs- hard. It’s nothing to worry about. It just hurt.”

“You can feel the baby kicking?” Alan couldn’t help but ask. He had propped himself up on his elbows when Kim yelped and had been reminded just how weak he was.

Kim nodded and smiled at him. She got up and went over to sit down next to him on the cot. Taking his hand in hers after he was once again lying down, she placed it on a part of her abdomen where she had felt a lot of movement lately.

Within moments, Alan felt motion beneath his touch. He reacted in amazement. “How do you sleep?”

“Sometimes I don’t,” Kim said wryly.

“Let me feel.” Damian knelt down beside her and let Kim place his hand against her.

While the two Visitors waited to feel movement, she stole a glance at Philip. He was watching the scene with a tender expression and Kim knew he understood how much this meant to her. She was being accepted for who she was. Philip met her eyes and smiled back at her, nodding slightly. For some reason, a shiver crept down her spine and she had a momentary feeling of dread. She closed her eyes to help her hide her reaction. What had caused her to feel like that? She decided she was probably just anticipating meeting Darlene again and pushed the dread from her mind.

“As I recall, at some truly ungodly hour of the morning, I promised you a tour of my house. Still interested?” Kim said as she turned to look at Damian. He nodded, and she turned to Alan. “You’re welcome to come, if you feel up to it.”

“Right now I’m content to lie here,” Alan replied.

Kim noticed that there was far less tension in his voice and mannerisms than there had been, even at the soundstage. It seemed that being wounded had convinced him it was all right to interact with the three of them as equals. What would it take to bring about the same change in Blaine, she wondered.

She turned to Philip and he looked at her kindly. “You can show me later.” He knew that Damian would want thorough explanations that were going to take time, and he didn’t want to leave Alan alone that long.

“Okay, then, it’s just you and me,” Kim said, hauling herself up. “Shut me up if I bore you,” she warned Damian as she led the way to the basement.

*****

Slowly, they made their way through each of the rooms in Kim’s home. Damian was genuinely interested in what he saw, and asked lots of questions. The tour ended up being as much a cultural exchange as a survey of the building. He wanted to know about how the different spaces were used, and if different areas were considered off limits to guests. The kitchen, with its array of appliances, was especially intriguing to him and he asked her about the details of food preparation. Kim’s experience in his own culture allowed her to explain the basic similarities and differences between their ways of life, which he then added to as he grew to understand her culture more.

The last room on the ground floor tour was the living room. Anticipating his request for her to play, Kim seated herself at the piano and indicated he should sit down on the bench next to her. “Not everyone has one of these, but I enjoy playing,” she said and rested her hands on the keyboard cover. “The full name is pianoforte --’piano’ meaning soft, ‘forte’ meaning loud --but everyone just calls it a piano.”

Kim opened the cover and ran her fingers up the keys, letting him hear the range of notes from lowest to highest. “The black keys have tones halfway between the keys on either side. And down below are three pedals that can affect the sound, too.”

Kim glanced at him and could see him trying to visualize the inner workings of the instrument, almost willing himself to see through the wood cabinet. “Here, if you want to see how it works...” Kim stood up and removed a flower arrangement from the lid before raising it. A wealth of dust fell away from the dried flowers and she sneezed. “When I get back, this place is going to need a thorough cleaning,” she said, coughing.

Damian stood up and peered inside, mesmerized, though he did smile at her comment about the dust.

Kim continued her explanation. “Each key causes a hammer to hit a string. The volume can be controlled by how hard the keys are struck, hence the name pianoforte. Its predecessor, the harpsichord, plucked the strings and didn’t have that capability. The pedals allow the sound to be sustained or act as dampers.” She pressed the pedals and let him see the resulting movement of machinery.

When he was satisfied, he closed the lid and sat back down. “Is there a particular style of music associated with the instrument?”

Kim shook her head. “It’s used alone or with other instruments for just about any style of music there is. Ragtime, jazz, modern pop rock, you name it, you can usually find a piano in there somewhere. I’m partial to classical music myself, but I’ve learned the music to most of Jackie’s songs, too. Usually, when she’s working on a new album, we get together and run through everything; for some reason, she wants my opinion instead of that of the record company.”

“Jackie’s a performer?” Damian was surprised. He’d never really thought about how she gained her income.

Kim nodded. “I guess no one made a point to tell you. She’s primarily a singer, although she does know how to play the piano. Mostly, though, the piano is for her own enjoyment, while her voice makes the millions. She’s so rich I can’t even comprehend how much money she has. But it hasn’t spoiled her like it would some. She gives a lot to charity and other causes. She’d have paid off this house for me if I’d let her. We end up in that discussion about twice a year.” Kim stared off into space for a few moments. “Actually, she’s behind schedule, I think. I should have known it would take a war to get her mind off my finances!”

Smiling, she turned her attention to the keyboard in front of her. “Be warned, I’m a bit out of practice,” Kim said before starting to play. She ran through a medley of styles and pieces, to give him an idea of the versatility the piano possessed.

When she finally finished and closed the keyboard cover, Damian shook his head in amazement. “How long did it take you to learn how to play this?”

“I started in high school, so let me think a minute. I had the advantage of already being able to read music- I play another instrument, too. It’s much smaller and is upstairs in a closet somewhere. Anyway, in ninth grade I started piano, dropped it awhile in college, went back to it in graduate school....guess I’ve been playing for about ten years, but that’s a rough estimate. And I don’t practice every day anymore. I only play when I’m in the mood. And I haven’t played at all since you guys showed up.”

Kim stood up, looked around the room, and concluded they were done here. “Let’s go upstairs,” she said, and looped her arm through his before heading towards the staircase.

She stopped in the doorway of the first room they came to and Damian sensed her withdrawing into herself.

“This was Andy’s room,” she said in a voice barely above a whisper. Unbidden tears welled up in her eyes and she quickly brushed them away. “As you can see, neatness was not his strong point.” Damian put his arm around her and she leaned into him. “This all needs to be sorted through. Some of it I’ll pack away; things like his clothes I’ll give to charity, I guess.”

“Why not just leave it like it is, for now?” Damian suggested.

“I could. Some parents leave their children’s rooms untouched for years after the child has died. Everyone grieves differently. I respect that, but it’s not for me.” Kim shook her head and went on, “For me, I think it’s harder to have it here, looking like he’s going to walk in any minute. No, it’s best that I clean it out and pack things away. He’s dead, and clinging to the past won’t change that. Besides, some of the columnists will likely stay on Earth when the fighting is over, and they’ll need a place to live. I’d rather see this room used for that then left as a ghost-filled shrine.”

*****

Damian followed Kim down the hallway, listening as she described how she used each room, from the nursery that was already stocked to the combination library/study that had a window looking out over the front yard. He made an effort to treat her the same way he always had, but he saw her in a new light. Though he still viewed her as a fifth columnist, the revelations of the previous day had exposed hidden strengths of character idle comments had only hinted at before. His admiration for her will to survive took on new depth when she showed him the pictures of her family that hung in the hallway, and told how most of them had died. Only her father survived, and Kim’s bitterness towards him was evident in her voice when she talked of how he had walked out on her family when she was a young teen. He looked into the eyes of the man who gazed back at him from the photograph and wondered how such an individual could father a daughter as amazing as Kim.

Something changed in the air between them while they looked at the photographs, and Kim turned to Damian with a questioning look. Was the electricity between them real, or only in her imagination? He looked back at her with deceptively calm eyes and said nothing. They stood like that for a long moment, before he brushed her hair back and tucked it behind her ear, then stroked it again. “I don’t know what the rules are here,” he admitted softly.

“I think we have to write our own rules. None of the ones I learned while growing up seem to apply,” Kim answered in a voice that was equally quiet. Her mind was racing, and yet she struggled to form a single coherent thought. So much had happened in the last twenty-four hours that she didn’t know what to think, or how to feel. Her attraction to him was as undeniable as his interest in her. But this would be a venture into new territory for her, and she wasn’t sure it was a place she really could go. It was one thing to continue her relationship with Philip, quite another to initiate a new one with Damian. Circumstances on the ship had necessitated her relationship with Martin. And though her heart might desire for that to continue, she didn’t expect that it would, even should Martin make it to the surface alive.

Damian was a friend, and Kim didn’t want that to ever change. But she had no experience with one-night stands, as Damian no doubt did. Before the war, she would have been offended at the very suggestion of participating in such a liaison. But that was Before. Now, she was sorely tempted by the magnetic pull between them.

He stood there, stroking her hair, waiting for her to decide. He watched her intently, but without pressure to yield to his wishes.

She knew he would respect her decision, whatever it was, and not take offense. Nothing was at risk, except for how she viewed herself. She moved closer and kissed him tentatively, holding his face between her hands. His lips opened at her bidding, and she felt his tongue flick gently against hers.

Finally, when her knees were ready to buckle, she released him and put her head on his shoulder. “I need some time. I’m still dazed by everything that’s happened since yesterday. And eventually, when the war is over, I will have to try to put the pieces of my life back together somehow. I don’t want to look back with regrets.”

He stroked her hair, letting his hand trace the wavy tresses down to where they ended between her shoulder blades. “You don’t need to explain, Kim.”

“Yes, I do. Because who I am now just doesn’t seem to fit with who I used to be. And I don’t know if I can ever be her again, or if I even want to try. The problem is, I care about you too much.” Kim shook her head and chuckled slightly. “When my only choices were celibacy or monogamy, life was so much simpler.” She straightened up and he immediately dropped his hands to her waist, releasing her from their former level of intimacy without withdrawing completely.

“We should go back downstairs before they wonder what happened to us,” Damian said, returning them to her comfort level. Only his reddish-gold eyes betrayed the apparent ease with which he had made the comment.

Kim nodded, and they walked together towards the stairs that would take them down to the living room. She put one hand around his waist and the other on the hand he still had on her hip. “Why don’t we take a few photograph albums down with us? I can bore the three of you for hours with photographs, and you’ll be a captive audience.” She laid her head against him for a moment, then looked at him with a dazzling smile.

Damian smiled in return and forced himself to act casually, despite the addicting warmth emanating from her. As long as they could be friends, he would be content. Almost.


	7. Letting the Dust Settle

Ted strode purposefully to the shuttle, steeling himself for what was to come. He’d delayed as long as he could, though, and Darlene had to be told. His resolve faltered when he reached the ramp. He took one step, hesitated, and sat down. Leaning his elbows on his knees, he put his head in his hands and closed his eyes. He was chafing under the yoke of command and his efforts to hide it were becoming more and more transparent. He wasn’t qualified to be leading a resistance movement, and his wartime experience was more limited than he thought it should be.

He envied Megan. She seemed so self-assured, so confident in her own abilities. If Ted had been asked to visit bookstores and public libraries with Jackie, to mingle among the humans as if he were one of them, he would have been intimidated by the daunting task. But Megan had shown no signs of trepidation before leaving with Jackie this morning.

As much as he liked the humans, Ted didn’t know how to BE one, and wondered if he ever would. Especially if Jackie was typical of humans. Jackie was very erratic in temperament, shifting from one mood to another without warning. He’d never be able to do that.

How had Karen managed? Kim, he corrected himself.

Not once had he ever suspected she was human. It amazed him that she had been so convincing in her part that not even her friend of many years had penetrated through the disguise to the distraught woman underneath the mask.

It was certain to be awkward when Kim returned, but Ted wanted to move beyond that. There was so much he could learn from her, so many things he wanted to know. She had always been kind, and he couldn’t let himself believe that had all been an act. She had helped them in so many ways, yet she had done it without ever drawing attention to herself. Surely the money her supposed “contact” had supplied them with was really her own. Kim’s “curiosity” about the contents of the surrounding buildings was most likely another planned move. Why else would she have suggested looking, unless she knew there would be furnishings available to make them more comfortable? She’d even expressed a belief that the human rebels would assist them in the transition to life on Earth when the fighting was over, should any of them choose to stay. In retrospect, had she really been telling them that her own loyalty to them would continue after the masks came off? It seemed a reasonable assumption.

He wondered if she would ever have confided in them had Alan not been shot. Darlene was the reason she had kept her silence, based on the letter. But Kim must know by now that the rest of them could be trusted to stand by her even after they knew her blood was red. How would she have broached the subject, he wondered. Even now, she was probably uneasy about the reception she would get when she returned. Yet in spite of the risks, knowing Darlene would react unfavorably, she had placed Alan’s welfare before her own.

Darlene was a problem he had to deal with and he couldn’t put it off any longer. He’d already questioned her about what had happened yesterday and been convinced they were in no immediate danger. Blaine had gone back to where she said they were attacked and found three human bodies lying in an alley. They could remain at the soundstage, which meant they didn’t have to abandon the shuttle.

Now he had to decide how to deal with Darlene. Kim had earned the right to rejoin them. And it would not be fair to allow Darlene’s offensive treatment of Jackie to expand to include Kim. Actually, he should have curtailed Darlene’s behavior long ago. But away from the ship, he had no real authority. They were working together out of necessity, deferring to rank out of courtesy, and struggling to survive. Could he realistically give Darlene an ultimatum? Could he enforce it if her behavior didn’t improve? Would the others agree to banish her back to Paul, to make her someone else’s problem, all for the sake of a human? What would someone like Martin do?

Ted perked up at that thought. Surely Martin had known who Kim was. Yet he had protected her, told Paul to watch for her arrival on the surface, and trusted her with vital fifth column information. Ted had his answer after all. Martin was the leader of the fifth column and he had protected Kim. The fifth columnists who served under him could do no less. Darlene would either comply or be asked to leave. Feeling more confident than he had for days, Ted rose to his feet and made his way into the sleeping compartment of the shuttle.

It was a relief to find Darlene awake. He could get this confrontation over with and return his attention to the war effort. He folded up the middle bunk on the side opposite Darlene and sat down on the lower one. “I want to talk to you about Karen.”

“So talk.” She didn’t bother to look at him, she just continued to stare at the bottom of the bunk above her.

“Some things happened yesterday that you are unaware of.”

“I can tell already I don’t want to hear this,” Darlene groused.

“Probably not. But I’m going to tell you anyway. And if you decide to leave, you can go back to Paul with our full support. Perhaps another surface unit would be more to your liking.”

“I doubt it.”

“You despise the humans. Other units will probably not have humans living with them.” Ted was trying hard to be patient and managed to keep his voice calm.

Darlene’s face held a wary expression. “Quit procrastinating. What happened yesterday?”

“Karen is human.”

Darlene bolted upright and stood in front of him, glaring. Her jaw worked, but she said nothing, rendered speechless by Ted’s proclamation.

He looked up at her as she loomed over him. “It’s true. Her name is Kim. Without her, Alan would have bled to death. She took him back to her house where she has supplies she believed could save him. Damian and Jacob went with her. You should also know that Jacob’s assigned name is really Philip. He helped Kim infiltrate the fleet several months ago.

“If Alan lives, it will be because of what she did for him. She also assessed your injuries, which is to her credit, given the way you have behaved. If it had been necessary, she would have treated you as well.”

Darlene was incredulous. She paced in the narrow space between the bunks. “You mean to tell me one of those stupid apes has been pretending to be one of us all this time?”

“Given her success, I hardly think she is stupid. She even fooled you,” Ted replied. “Kim will be returning with the others in a few days. Regardless of whether Alan survives, I am confident she did her best to help him. She will be staying here, and you will be civil with her. And I expect you to start being civil to Jackie as well. We’ve all tolerated your contempt for far too long and it won’t be tolerated any more. While I don’t expect you to be friendly, you _will_ be polite, or you will be sent back to Paul for reassignment. Do I make myself clear?”

Darlene lay back down on the bunk, feigning indifference. “You have no authority over me, Ted.”

Ted stood up, his posture uncompromising. His hands were clasped behind his back, as much to keep from hitting her as to add to the image of authority he wanted to project. For once, he felt equal to the responsibilities of his rank. “On the contrary, I have full authority. I also have the backing of everyone else. You will comply or you will leave. But you will not be permitted to torment the humans any longer. Kim’s pregnancy has been difficult enough and I won’t have you adding to the strain she is under with your malicious comments. Jackie also has suffered with them for far too long, and I’m putting a stop to it. I expect to have your decision by this time tomorrow.”

*****

“Ted.”

Ted was halfway to the office when he heard Darlene call him. He stopped and turned, fully expecting an argument.

“I want to be reassigned.”

He nodded, surprised by the pain in her eyes. He took a step towards her. “Why won’t you let us help you?”

The pain vanished, to be replaced by the coldness he was accustomed to seeing. “Why do you insist on believing I need help?” She looked away and the defensive tone slipped from her voice. “I want to leave now.”

“I’ll take you,” Ted acquiesced. “Pack your belongings while I inform the others.” He watched her nod to herself, then disappear into the shuttle.

*****

They drove in silence. She stared out the window on the passenger side, not even trying to cover her sour mood.

Ted left her alone until he had parked the car and removed the key from the ignition, then took her arm to keep her from getting out. She stiffened in his grasp and directed a glare at him, but stayed in her seat. “If you decide later that leaving was a mistake, you can always come back.”

“As long as I worship the humans like you do.”

“No.” Ted shook his head, long weary of the argument. “As long as you keep your prejudice contained.” He let go of her arm, holding her with his gaze. “What happened to you, Darlene?”

She rolled her eyes and reached for the door handle. When they had both closed their doors, she looked across the roof of the car at him. “Don’t even try to understand, okay? You did your best to reform me, and I relieve you of all responsibility for me.”

Ted stood mutely watching her as she shouldered her bag and turned her back on him. He followed her, keeping a few paces between them, and bit back a curse as she shut the door behind her just as he reached it. Anger burned away his residual sympathy and he mentally absolved himself of any remaining obligations concerning her. It was a relief to know she was going to be someone else’s problem from now on. He turned the knob and swung the door open. As he stepped inside, he shut the door and removed his sunglasses in one fluid movement.

“Ted?” Angel appeared in the other doorway to the room and looked at him with a furrowed brow. She quickly crossed the room and shook his hand in greeting, human style. “Is something wrong?” She hooked her left thumb over her shoulder, pointing towards a corridor. “Is that bundle of joy that just blew through with you?”

“Hi, Angel,” he greeted her.

She let him pull her close and kiss her cheek. He kept an arm around her waist, and she waited patiently for him to pull away. Instead, he surprised her when he put his forehead on her shoulder. “Hey, it’s okay.” She patted his back comfortingly and he finally straightened.

“That ‘bundle of joy’ is Darlene,” Ted said belatedly.

She pursed her lips. “Oooh. The infamous Darlene! I missed meeting her when she was here last time. Don’t you worry, we’ve dealt with plenty of her type before. Down here, there ain’t nothing we don’t see. If she tries to be aloof and irritable, the gals will work together to make her miserable. All it takes is a little kindness; we’ll get her snarling back at us in no time.”

Some of the strain left his face and he smiled at her. “Is Paul here?”

“Honey, where else would he be?” Angel looped her arm through his and led him towards Paul’s dingy office. “We weren’t expecting you today, but it’s convenient you came when you did. Are you okay? Did something happen?”

“Yes, but we’ll be fine.”

“Getting rid of Darlene makes everything easier, hmm?” she teased.

“I wish it were that simple.”

“If life were simple, honey, I’d be out of a job,” she chided while she knocked on the door.

“Come in,” Paul called through the door.

Angel opened it and stepped to the side so Ted could go in, then shut it quietly behind him.

“Ted, I didn’t expect to see you today,” Paul said, rising to his feet. He offered his hand and Ted clasped it gratefully. “I was getting ready to send a message to you. This is Anthony.” Paul gestured to the fifth columnist who was sitting near them. “We still don’t have a doctor, but Anthony’s almost as good, since he has some medical training.”

“Conversion technician,” Anthony supplied as he stood and offered his hand. “Paul told me about Karen and I’d like to help.”

Ted looked from Anthony to Paul. This was ludicrous!

“Ted?” Paul grew concerned. “Karen’s okay, isn’t she?”

“She’s human. Does that make her okay?” Ted blurted, sinking into an empty chair. “Alan’s been shot, and I’m dumping Darlene here with you.” He leaned forward and put his head in his hands. “How much longer until the war is over?”

Paul and Anthony exchanged a worried look before looking back at Ted. “Ted, what happened?” Paul inquired.

“I don’t know. Yesterday morning, everything was fine.” He shook his head, fighting the disbelief that threatened to overwhelm him whenever he thought about the last twenty-four hours. Maybe if he told someone else about it, it would somehow make sense. “Karen was monitoring the radio, Darlene and Alan were on assignment across the city....”

*****

When Ted finished, he leaned his head back against the wall and shut his eyes. Talking had drained him, forced him to see the memories in a new light. All along, the subtle hints had been there, hidden in plain sight. He couldn’t decide if he should feel like a fool or be awed by her success.

“I’ll keep Darlene here,” Paul finally said. “She can’t be permitted to spread this information around.” He sighed and leaned back in his chair. Was it any wonder Ted felt burdened with this information? “We need Martin too much for her to defame him. What was he thinking when he agreed to help her?”

Anthony stood up to stretch. “It doesn’t matter. Kim needs our help. I don’t care how resourceful and clever she is, this has to be frightening for her.”

Ted stared at the ceiling, thinking again about the letter Megan had read. “And she never let it show. Maybe Martin agreed to assist her for the same reason we are: because she’s been so helpful, yet asked for nothing in return.”

Paul nodded. “Did you know it was Karen who suggested setting up with the prostitutes?”

Anthony and Ted looked at him in surprise.

“Martin mentioned it when he first shared the idea with me,” Paul added in response to their stunned looks.

Anthony shook his head. “Then we owe her more than any of us thought. Without the network you’ve set up on the surface...” He let the thought go unfinished. They were already painfully aware of the good luck that let them reach the surface alive. Without the network to sustain them, even those few survivors would have most likely perished.

Anthony sat back down and continued. “Paul, I think you should perpetuate the image that Darlene is mentally unstable. If she rambles on about humans posing as Visitors, suggest to the women that they should disregard it.”

“Agreed.” Paul looked at Ted. “I suspect within a few days, Darlene is going to question the wisdom of requesting a reassignment.”

“I already told her she can come back, on the condition she be civil,” Ted said quietly. He fervently hoped she would stay with Paul.

“Based on her prior visit here, I would say that civility is not in her vocabulary,” Paul observed. “And she has far too much pride to admit she made a mistake.” He toyed with the pencil cup that sat on the desk in front of him. “The women are going to make me pay for foisting Darlene onto them like this. I’m never going to hear the end of it.”

“It’s for a good cause,” Anthony suggested helpfully. “I’m sure you can handle it.”

Paul looked at him wryly. “I’m going to refrain from commenting on the direction of your thoughts.” As much as he liked the women he now lived with, he preferred to confine sexual relations to his own species. If that meant he was prejudiced, so be it.

“Why? Kim and Martin already proved it’s possible.” Anthony grinned. “Ted, anything you want to add?”

“No,” Ted responded gruffly. He didn’t have the energy to see beyond the immediate problems Kim’s revelation had caused.

“Then let’s get going. I’d like to see if I can help Jackie while we wait for the others to rejoin your group.”

“Do you think you can?” Paul asked.

Anthony shrugged. “I don’t know. No one has ever tried to reverse the conversion process before, as far as I know. But she wasn’t completely converted, so it may be possible to help her fight the effects. It can’t hurt to try.” He got to his feet and waited for Ted to stand before opening the door. He glanced at Paul and smiled. “Have fun with Darlene.”

*****

“What are all of these?” Philip asked as he relieved Kim of several thick books when she appeared in the doorway to the lab. Damian was right behind her and equally burdened.

“Photographs.”

“Of what?” Alan asked as he watched Philip and Damian unload their cargo onto the lab bench.

“Me. My family. Places I’ve been. I figure it’s better than counting the ceiling tiles in here.”

“Seventy-three.” Philip proclaimed, thinking back to his early, boring days in these rooms before he had agreed to help her.

“You just made my case for me,” Kim countered with a smile as she pulled a chair out to sit on. The stools made her back ache these days. “Though if I really wanted to bore you, I’d bring all of them down.”

“There are more?” Alan asked

“ _Many_ more,” Damian remarked absently, thinking momentarily of the cabinet Kim had removed the albums from. They had brought barely a third of them downstairs. His attention was already directed to the first page of the album Kim had said contained her baby pictures. A tiny round face looked back at him across the years. “That’s you?”

Kim glanced at the image to be sure, then nodded. “So I’ve been told.”

Alan shifted on the bed, clearly wanting to see. Damian pulled his stool over so he and Alan could go through the pictures together. Philip, too, yielded to curiosity and moved over beside Damian. Kim suppressed a victory grin and scooted her own chair closer so she could see the pictures that evoked their questions. While she watched them pour over the photographs, she nibbled tentatively on some crackers she’d found in a cupboard upstairs. The tension in the air had completely disappeared and that pleased her more than she could put into words.

*****

Jackie threw down the midwife book she had been reading and massaged the back of her neck. She and Megan had returned a short time ago from a semi-successful trip to bookstores in the area. The libraries had been heavily guarded by Visitor patrols, causing the pair to eschew them for bookstores. Unfortunately, the books for sale were written mainly for expectant women in the care of a physician, and they were sorely lacking in advice for the two would-be birthing attendants who were reading them. But as Megan had pointed out, what they had found was better than nothing. At least this way, Megan would get some background in human reproduction that she could compare to her own experience. Not that Megan had told her anything about her child. No matter how Jackie had tried to gently broach the subject, Megan had refused to discuss it. She hadn’t even clarified how many children she had given birth to!

Megan had been aware of Jackie’s short temper all day, so she set aside the book she had been reading. “You’re still angry.”

Jackie’s head snapped up in response to the accusation. “No!” She bowed her head again, staring at her foot as she traced patterns on the concrete with the toe of her shoe. “Hurt. Do you know what it does to you inside when you find out your friend of many years doesn’t trust you? I’ve known Kim for over twelve years. Twelve years. And she couldn’t even tell me where she was.” Jackie got up and began to pace.

“You’re angry.” Megan repeated her assessment of Jackie’s mood.

“I should be. But deep down, I know she did what she had to do.”

Megan watched her, wondering if she dared verbalize her own opinion regarding the source of Jackie’s anguish. Then again, given Jackie’s mood, what could it hurt? “You’re disturbed that your friend is carrying a hybrid child and wants your unconditional support. It bothers you that you may be asked to care for such a child, but know you must to maintain your friendship with Kim.”

Jackie gaped at her. “Are you accusing me of being prejudiced? After everything you and I have been through together?” She turned and stomped away. “I don’t believe I’m hearing this from you!”

“Friendship with us doesn’t bother you, no. But I’m not talking about simple friendship here, not as you humans define it.”

“And what exactly is that supposed to mean?” Jackie whirled around and glared at Megan. “For your information, just because I haven’t slept with everyone here doesn’t make me a bigot! God, Megan, you make it sound like only whores can be open-minded!”

“That’s not what I mean and you know it,” Megan replied calmly. Jackie’s reaction only confirmed her theory. Obviously, it was a truth about herself that Jackie was not yet ready to face.

“Then what exactly do you mean? It’s not like you to be vague, Megan.”

“Your culture is rather skittish about discussing certain issues,” Megan hedged.

“That never stopped you before. What has gotten into you?”

Megan ignored the dig. “It bothers you to think about Kim sleeping with a Sirian. Especially one you know, like Philip.”

Jackie just stared at her, incredulous.

“Why not admit it, at least to yourself? That’s what has been bothering you since yesterday, isn’t it? Having to rethink past events in a new way? Seeing your friend give up one set of values in an effort to embrace a different culture? Given the changes in her life, and her need for your acceptance, you feel trapped. You don’t know how to respond, so you lash out in anger.”

“Leave the psychoanalysis to the shrinks, okay? You haven’t even been on the planet a year, and you claim to be able to understand a friendship forged in circumstances you can’t even imagine. Stick to biology, Megan. Diana already made fantastic progress in screwing up my mind, I don’t need you to finish the job.” Jackie snarled and stalked away.

Megan watched her go, and kept further observations to herself.

*****

“Kim, go take a nap.”

Philip’s voice penetrated the fog surrounding her mind. Had she almost dozed off? She straightened up and suppressed a yawn. She shook her head. “I’m fine.”

“Kim.”

She recognized the tone in Philip’s voice and knew it was useless to argue. She held up her hand in defeat before he could say any more. “At least wake me up when Judy comes.”

“Maybe,” he answered, smiling gently at her.

Kim rolled her eyes. “And I thought I was stubborn,” she muttered before getting slowly to her feet. Her attention turned to Alan. “Do you need more pain medicine yet?”

Alan glanced up at her and shook his head before looking back at the album.

“You’re stalling,” Damian observed. He folded his arms across his chest and waited for her counter-argument. He was quickly learning from Philip that Kim’s stubbornness could only be countered by tenacity and sound reasoning. How long had it taken the two of them to reach this level of understanding, he wondered. Philip and Kim never seemed to push each other too far, as if knowing exactly where the lines were drawn between concern and coercion.

On cue, Kim rolled her eyes again before disappearing into the bedroom for some much-needed rest.

*****

After pacing for awhile along the far wall, Jackie retreated to the dining room, away from Megan’s scrutiny. She sank into the chair she had placed there the day she arrived and let herself have a good cry. She was so sick of being cooped up here, with virtually nothing to do aside from an occasional trek to the grocery store. She was tired of being bored, tired of fighting the effects of the conversion, and tired of living in a virtual commune where solitude was only a memory. Privacy and modesty were not in the vocabulary of her companions, although they did try to give her some semblance of isolation when she wanted it. Thank God she had her own bed outside of the shuttle. For all she knew, they had an orgy in there every night. And what was wrong with not wanting to participate? Megan’s comment ate at her, and she wasn’t sure why. Since when was abstinence evidence of bigotry and racism?

She heard a car engine and stiffened. What if Darlene had returned? Was she equal to dealing with Darlene again, especially after Kim came back?

Kim. Why did everything always come back to Kim? Kim wants to infiltrate, Kim wants to stay hidden, Kim needs our help, Kim this, Kim that. What about throwing a bit of concern for Jackie in there now and then? Jackie was captured, Jackie was tortured, Jackie was converted. And all anyone cares about is whether or not Jackie will help Kim.

She got up from her chair and resisted the urge to smash it against the wall. May as well get this over with. She blotted her wet cheeks on her shirt, smoothed her hair, and opened the door.

Ted and a new guy were walking towards her end of the building. Ted’s face brightened when he saw her and he walked faster. “Jackie, this is Anthony.”

Jackie looked at the new member of their group and forced a weak smile to her face. “Hi.”

“Paul thought I might be able to help out with Kim since I have some medical training.” Anthony paused a moment then added, “I’m a conversion technician.”

The smile slid from her face when he mentioned helping Kim, and a venomous look filled Jackie’s eyes at the sound of the word ‘conversion.’ “Go to hell!” she snarled before stepping back and slamming the door in their faces.

Ted closed his eyes and sighed. The headache that had been building in his temples all day had just worsened tenfold. “Any chance you can brainwash me into forgetting I ever heard of Earth?”

*****

As the afternoon wore on, Alan dozed on the cot. Damian, fatigued from a restless night in a chair, let Philip talk him into lying down next to Kim in the bed with only a token protest that it would disturb Kim’s own rest.

With everyone else sleeping, Philip was left to his own devices. Bored, he started up Kim’s computer and busied himself typing in a message for her to find much later, perhaps when the fighting was done. Finished with that self-assigned task, he shut down the machine and placed the contact lenses back in his eyes. Kim’s degree of acceptance was unparalleled in his experience, and few humans showed signs of following her example. Possibly, they never would. Until then, he and the others would have to make concessions in order to get along with the humans. If only the concessions didn’t include contacts, he mused as he reached for his dentures, life would be much more pleasant.

*****

Back at the soundstage, none of the Visitors were thinking about trivialities like contacts. Jackie had sequestered herself in the food room, and the person who would usually be asked to approach her was near the top of Jackie’s hate list. Damian, who seemed capable of charming everyone, was still with Kim.

Megan, Ted and Anthony sat in the furniture grouping and quietly discussed Jackie while the subject of their conversation stewed behind a closed door. Anthony listened quietly until they had finished telling him everything they knew about her, and her friendship with Kim. Once Anthony was familiar with her case, Megan told the others of the discussion with Jackie that had primed her temper before Anthony’s arrival.

Was it any wonder that Jackie had reacted badly, Anthony asked himself. Megan and Ted probably had no idea what horrors had been inflicted on Jackie’s mind during her sessions in the conversion chamber. Given her history, and her experiences during the war, it was a miracle she was as stable as she seemed. He removed his laser pistol from the holster on his leg and placed it on the small table nearby. “Let me talk to her.”

“Be careful. I’ve never seen her like that before. She might try to hurt you,” Ted warned.

Megan nodded agreement. “She’s been more volatile since she was on the mothership.”

Anthony stood up and regarded both of them with a thoughtful expression. “Can you blame her?” Slowly, so as not to alarm her, he opened the door to the food room. She sat huddled on a chair in the far corner, and she looked up when she heard him come in.

“I’m sorry. I had no right to snap at you like that,” Jackie apologized.

Anthony was surprised. He had not expected an apology, and certainly not so soon. “After what you’ve been through, you had every right.” He left the door open, aware of the impact closing it could have on her. The mothership had hundreds of locked doors that had prevented escape. He wasn’t about to recreate that effect here.

Slowly, he moved away from the door, out of her path of escape, and walked along the wall furthest from her. He stopped in the corner at the far end of the room, across from the corner she sat in, and slid down to sit on the floor. He wished he had civilian clothes instead of his uniform. He stretched his feet out in front of him and rested his hands on his lap. Every move was slowly executed, and his full awareness was tuned to her responses. “Paul suggested I come here to help take care of Kim. We didn’t know until Ted came that she was human. I really don’t know how much I’ll be able to help her, compared to what you can do for her.”

Jackie tried not to glare when she raised her head to gaze at him. The rage she had felt earlier was far from depleted.

“And I don’t think anyone has ever tried to undo the effects of conversion before,” he continued calmly, watching her with that damned psychologist’s gaze. “But I’m willing to try if you are.”

“We don’t have any of that equipment here,” Jackie whispered, not letting herself look away from the face of hope.

“I know. Maybe we don’t need it. Diana’s method is to use drugs and other means to induce a suggestive state, where she can then manipulate you into conjuring up horrific images in your mind. Hypnosis can put you into a similar state of mind, but she can’t use that since none of her prisoners want to help torture themselves. Anyone can fight hypnosis, but drugs are different.”

“So hypnotize me.”

Anthony shook his head. “Not so fast. I think we should wait a few days. For this to work, you have to be able to trust me, and we just met. And I’d like to involve Kim. Megan says she has been your friend for many years.”

Jackie nodded, not trusting herself to make a tactful comment.

“I know you are upset with her right now, and I think you have every right to be. But over the years, you have probably told her about your past. One of Diana’s approaches is to alter your memories, confusing you about what really happened compared to what Diana told you happened. Kim may be able to clarify which memories are yours. Do you think she would be willing to do that?”

Jackie nodded.

“Can you accept her help, in spite of the way she deceived you?”

“Do I have a choice?”

Anthony chose his words carefully. “Despite her deception, I suspect Kim’s influence is the reason you were aided in escaping the mothership. Only one other human who endured the conversion process has returned to the surface with her will intact. Martin was directly involved.”

Seeing her interest, he continued. “He’s high up in the ranks, and he’s fifth column. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out why he was involved both times.”

Jackie didn’t want to be grateful to Kim for saving her life; she wanted to be bitter about the deception. It wasn’t necessarily fair, but it was human. She toyed with the hem of her shirt, pulling at a loose thread.

Anthony went on, “And Kim was associating with him at the time. Her ties to you are obvious, as is Jacob’s involvement in your escape. I suspect Kim has ties to the other woman as well.”

“What’s her name?” Jackie asked, only half-interested.

“Juliet Parish.”

Jackie’s mouth dropped open and she stared at him.

“You know her?” Anthony asked rhetorically.

“She’s my sister.”

Anthony nodded once as he absorbed that information, considering the ramifications, then slowly got up and slipped out of the room.

*****

Alan roused and noticed that Philip was wearing his contacts once again, which surprised him. “Going somewhere?”

Philip gave him a questioning look that changed to understanding. “That’s right. You slept through their visit last night. Judy is a friend of Kim’s and has been her contact throughout the war. Jackie’s son, Jeremy, is staying with her. They are coming back tonight to see Kim.” He glanced at his watch. “I expect they will be here within the hour.”

Alan looked at him, stunned.

“What’s wrong?”

Alan held up his arm in reply. The sleeve of the T-shirt Kim had given him stopped well above his elbow, leaving the hole in the pseudoskin and the scales underneath fully exposed. If Philip, who looked completely human, was wearing contacts while they were here, they must be unaware of the Visitors’ differences. He could only imagine what response his Sirian skin would evoke in their guests. Philip looked at him sympathetically, but didn’t seem overly concerned. Didn’t he understand?

“I wouldn’t worry about it. Judy came in with us yesterday, and she saw a lot more than your arm when Kim operated on you.”

“You have your contacts in,” Alan countered.

Philip had to concede that point. “It’s easier for them to make eye contact if we wear them. Kim’s an exception.”

“What about when we leave here tomorrow?”

“I’m sure Kim will be able to fix it. But I don’t think we need to wake her up to take care of it now. Trust me on this. I’ve talked with Judy a lot in the past and the one who’s going to be under the most scrutiny tonight is Kim, believe me.” He handed Alan the case his contacts had been placed in they day before. “I know this has been a big shock to you, but you have nothing to fear from Judy or Kim. In fact, Judy is a lot like you- she’s doing the right thing in spite of her uncertainty.”

*****

Judy arrived not long after Alan woke, with Jeremy and Muff in tow. Philip let her in, then stepped away when Muff growled at him. “She’s sleeping.”

She smiled an apology at him and hushed the dog. “However did you manage to get her to agree to that? Kim abhors taking naps.” She opened the bedroom door a few inches and set the dog down inside, knowing he would snuggle with his mistress while she slept. When the door was closed once again, she settled herself on a stool in the lab and turned to Alan. “You look better than you did last night. How are you feeling?”

“Better. Thanks.”

“Here’s the stuff Kim wanted,” Jeremy said, laying the stethoscope on the lab bench. He placed an envelope labeled “Mom” next to it.

“How is Jackie?” Judy asked bluntly. Last night, talk had focused on Kim.

“She’s no worse, which in itself is good. I’m not an expert, but I think that in time, she’ll fight off most of the effects of the conversion.” Philip leaned back in his chair and kept one eye on the clock. Hopefully, Kim would wake up soon.

*****

Damian woke feeling deliciously warm. Kim was on her side with her back towards him, but snuggled up right beside him. His arm was around her, and his hand rested in a small pile of fur. Huh? He sat up and looked over, barely making out the form of her dog in the virtually black room. Kim stirred at his movement and yawned. He could tell from the change in her breathing she was awake. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you. I was just surprised to find your dog here.”

“It’s okay.” Kim grinned in the dark and stroked her dog’s fur. It was nice to wake up with him beside her again. “And if Muff’s here, that means Judy and Jeremy are here. Brace yourself, I’m going to turn on the light.” She flipped the switch and blinked rapidly in the sudden brightness.

“Wonderful,” Damian muttered, lying back down on the bed.

“What?”

“My contacts are out there.”

Kim frowned. “I’m sorry.” She shook her head and looked away, angry at the situation.

“What are you sorry for?”

Kim looked into his eyes and lost herself in their depths for a moment before she answered. “It’s not fair that you all have to keep pretending like this.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“That doesn’t make it okay.” She touched her fingers to his cheek. “I’ll be right back.” She breezed through the lab, retrieved his contacts and dentures as nonchalantly as she could manage, and was back in the bedroom before Judy had a chance to initiate conversation. Smiling, she sat down on the bed next to Damian, waving the case like a trophy. “Mission accomplished,” she whispered, then leaned close and kissed him. Once he was sufficiently dazed, she got up and slipped from the room.

*****

Kim ventured back into the brightly lit lab and spotted the stethoscope on the bench top. “Do you mind if I take this with us tomorrow morning?” Kim asked, holding up the device.

“You’re leaving so soon?” Judy looked at her in alarm. The dim lights in the bedroom last night had hidden the extent of Kim’s poor appearance. Now, though, the dark circles under her eyes were plainly visible. The upsetting glimpse she had gotten when Kim dashed through a few minutes ago was substantiated by the image of the gaunt waif in front of her. Kim’s skin was waxen, save for red areas of irritation from wearing the masks. Judy had visited healthier-looking people in the hospital.

“Alan’s strong enough to go back now,” Kim answered with a shrug of her shoulders. She sat down in one of the chairs, bracing herself for the coming confrontation. Muff jumped into her lap and immediately lay down. Kim stroked his fur, wishing her own life could be so simple. Damian joined them and nodded a greeting before moving to an unoccupied stool.

Judy approached, standing close so she loomed over her. “You’re not. Have you looked in a mirror lately? I’ve never seen you so pale. And even though you’re pregnant, you’re dangerously thin. What have you been eating?”

“Don’t ask questions you don’t want answers to, Judy,” Kim replied in a tone which, though barely above a whisper, still carried a hard edge.

Kim looked up at her and saw that Judy’s eyes begged for clarification, although a deep fear prevented her from doing so. “Look, whatever can be done, is being done. Yes, I’m eating. No, not enough, but I’m so nauseated most of the time that I can’t keep food down.”

Kim took a calming breath and coaxed Judy down to a stool beside her. “I’m not going to lie to you. My health is very precarious right now and I know that. It’s very possible that there will be... unforeseen complications during delivery. Going to a hospital isn’t an option, and neither is going back to the mothership.” She squeezed the hands of her would-be mother, wishing she could give her the reassurances she so desperately wanted. “But I’m not alone. They’ve been taking good care of me, and I suspect the henpecking is only going to get worse when we get back.”

“How can you be so calm?” Judy whispered. She pulled her fingers free of Kim’s and pushed the collar of Kim’s shirt down, revealing that what she had first feared to be a bruise was actually something much more frightening.

“Being anything else takes energy I don’t have.” Kim tugged Judy’s hand away from her neck, though she didn’t bother to adjust the front of her shirt. “None of us know exactly what Diana did to me, or even how it’s possible. That doesn’t matter right now. What does matter is that we keep going. I need you to keep helping the column.” Kim’s hand went to her abdomen. “Someone will let you know how it turns out, if I’m unable...”

“Don’t you even think it!” Tears welled up in Judy’s eyes as she tried to deny the possibility.

Kim felt moisture run down her own cheeks, but didn’t brush it away. “I will think it, because my death is a very real prospect. But since there is nothing that can be done, I’d rather not dwell on it.” Kim steered the conversation to safer topics. “How’s Becky?”

“She’s missing.” Judy saw the horror in Kim’s eyes and forged on. “Everyone in her apartment building was taken several months ago. Sandy’s with me.”

Kim closed her eyes and bowed her head, trying to rally in the light of this news. She forced herself to look at Judy again. “I’m sorry. If it becomes possible to access the mothership computers sometime, we’ll try to locate her. But it won’t be anytime in the foreseeable future.” Kim sighed. “If she made it to storage, it’s probably best to leave her there for now. She’s less likely to draw attention that way.”

Philip saw Kim look away and knew she was revisiting Andrew’s death in her mind. Judy was watching Kim intently, obviously trying to decipher the unspoken meanings she sensed were there.

“Is that what happened to Andy?” The words were out of her mouth before Judy could stop herself.

Kim’s gaze became sharp, as if she just now realized what she had revealed. “In part.” She met Philip’s eyes, taking comfort in his silent support, then looked at the floor.

Judy pressed a warm hand to her shoulder. “How can I help?”

Kim shook her head without looking up. “Kill Diana.”

“There are days I would like to,” Judy admitted wistfully. “But how can I help you? Do you need supplies? Are there things you can take back with you that would help in the coming weeks? Tell me what you need. And what about for the baby?”

Kim closed her eyes, trying to focus her mind on the question. “Everything. We have the bare necessities: food, shelter, and the clothes on our backs. It’s amazing, if you think about it, how few things one needs to survive. The boredom is the worst. I’ve read the same paperback book eight times already. I’ve started correcting the grammar. I’m on my third time through with that, and I’m still finding errors. Still, it’s not as boring as guard duty, so I shouldn’t complain.”

“It wasn’t boring yesterday,” Philip added, looking at Alan. “And while I appreciated the break from monotony, I’d rather you didn’t get shot again.”

Alan smiled slightly and said nothing.

Judy’s face took on a thoughtful expression. “Are the keys in the car?”

“Yes, why?” Kim was intrigued.

“I plan to fill the trunk before you leave.”

“Don’t include anything valuable. If we have to move in a hurry, packing won’t be a priority,” Kim warned.

“Okay.”

*****

As the evening wore on, the early strains in the conversation gave way to serious discussion, light banter, and speculation as to how the war would eventually end. Kim retreated into her own thoughts a few times, wishing she could freeze the clock here and now, when there was a hint of joy in the air. Too soon, it was time for Judy and Jeremy to leave, so Kim and the others could eat a meal and retire for some rest.

Judy tried to hold back a yawn and failed. She stretched her arms over her head and stood up to go. “Will we see you in the morning?”

Kim shook her head. “We should go while it’s still dark, so we don’t attract as much attention.”

“The curfew doesn’t lift until dawn,” Judy reminded her.

“I know. We’ll be careful.” Kim stood up and hugged her. “Thank you. Try not to worry. And I won’t forget your letter to Jackie, so don’t you worry either,” she assured Jeremy as she walked them to the door. Muff was handed over to Judy’s waiting arms and good-byes were quickly exchanged with the Visitors. Kim closed the door behind them and leaned on it for a moment. Total silence had settled over the lab, which seemed too harsh a contrast to the animated laughter and conversation that had filled the room moments before.

“Judy has been a good friend to you,” Philip said quietly.

“The best.” Kim blinked back the tears that had come unbidden when Judy and Jeremy had left. Desperate for a distraction, she picked up the stethoscope and sank back into her chair.

“What is that?” Alan inquired.

“A stethoscope. It will let me hear the baby’s heartbeat,” Kim answered as she fitted the device to her ears and placed the bell against her abdomen. She closed her eyes, concentrating. No... In disbelief, she moved the bell to another location, with the same result. “I don’t believe this,” Kim muttered. She then shook her head, grinning at the idea.

“What?” Damian prodded her to explain.

“There are two heartbeats, one just slightly offset from the other...twins.”

“Are you sure?” Philip was concerned. He knew that with his own people, multiple births increased the risks. Twins meant that Kim’s already difficult pregnancy could become even more problematic as time went on.

“I know what I’m hearing, and I’m telling you there are two heartbeats.” She shook her head. “There’s a tendency for twins in my family, but the odds are still so low...”

“Let me hear.” Damian got up from his seat and knelt down beside her. He took the stethoscope and fitted the ear pieces to the human ears of the pseudoskin. Fortunately, the position of human ears was approximately the same as the location of Sirian tympanic membranes.

“The heartbeats are very rapid,” Kim warned, and drummed her fingers on the arm of her chair in demonstration.

Damian nodded that he understood, then closed his eyes to concentrate while he listened. “She’s right.” He looked up at Kim, unsure if this was happy news or not. “So the occurrence of twins is rare?”

“Not as rare as with your people, but not real common either.” She sighed, knowing his unasked question. “Yes, it makes things more complicated and increases the risks.”

“Are you going to tell Judy?” Alan asked.

“Heck, no. She’s worried enough as it is, and knowing isn’t going to change anything.” She shook her head again. “I don’t believe this.”

“I want to hear, too,” Philip said.

Kim looked to Alan, who nodded also. Well, a third and fourth opinion certainly couldn’t hurt, she mused as she got up to join Alan on the cot.


	8. Difficult Decisions

Shortly before dawn, the foursome emerged from Kim’s basement to make the journey back to their waiting allies. Talk had been limited as they made their preparations, and gave way to silence when they reached the car.

Philip drove, since he remembered the route they had taken. Alan sat up front, which allowed him to stretch his leg out. Damian sat next to Kim in the back seat, his fingers entwined with hers. Though Damian didn’t consider himself an expert on human health, it seemed to him that Kim was even paler today than she had been. Unlike yesterday, her hand was cool and clammy to the touch. The tension he felt in her fingers, added to darting, furtive glances at the passing scenery, provided an explanation. He didn’t blame her. A confrontation with Darlene was not something he himself would look forward to. He wasn’t even looking forward to witnessing it. And then there was the trepidation Kim had expressed over Jackie’s reaction. He hadn’t realized until this morning exactly how much of herself Kim had sacrificed when she had decided to help Alan. Her selflessness only drew him closer. Was she even aware of the effect she was having on him?

*****

Blaine was guarding the entrance and his face brightened when he saw Alan. He slid the door to the soundstage shut behind the car as soon as it had passed, then abandoned his post.

Philip saw Blaine’s approach in the rear-view mirror, but didn’t comment. He parked the car and got out, forgetting Blaine entirely when he looked at Kim. Her face was pale and drawn. Her eyes were wary when she looked past him to the approaching group. Turning his back to her, he saw Ted, Megan, and Drew approaching. Behind them, Jackie walked beside an unfamiliar individual.

“Anthony?” Kim was taken aback for a moment when she saw a new face behind Megan. For the moment, she forgot herself and reverted back into her role as Karen. “I didn’t realize you were with the column.”

He offered his hand to her, Visitor style, and she clasped it gratefully, realizing the mistake she had made. His sympathy-filled eyes twinkled at her, amused at what he thought was her attempt to lighten the mood.

Kim glanced around warily. Her gaze settled next on Ted. “How’s Darlene?”

“All right. She’s staying with Paul,” he answered. He couldn’t help but stare a little at the pale, gaunt-but-pregnant shadow of a woman who stood before him. This was Karen?

Kim nodded, but didn’t comment.

“We traded her in for someone nicer.” Jackie finally spoke. There was an edge to her voice that Kim knew was directed at her and not the Visitor. She locked her eyes with Kim’s.

Neither of them knew what to say. There were so many things to explain, memories to reevaluate, that neither knew where to begin. The others stepped back, letting them square off.

Ted noticed how Damian and Philip fell in just behind Kim, protecting her flanks. Even Alan, standing next to Blaine and hampered as he was by the crutches, stayed close to the human who had saved his life. The three of them presented a unified front in support of Kim. On the other side, Anthony’s attention was focused on Jackie, and it seemed to Ted he was trying to read the human’s mind. Megan and Drew watched both of the humans with equal interest.

Kim broke first. Silently, she held out an envelope with “Mom” written on it. A peace offering.

Jackie recognized her son’s handwriting, and she reached out to accept the gift. Her hand trembled as she took it, but she didn’t extend her reach to touch Kim’s fingers. Their only contact came vicariously, through the envelope, and lasted merely for the instant they both had the paper in their grasp. Her eyes went back to Kim’s, searching for... something.

“Judy and Jeremy packed the trunk. The keys are in the ignition,” Kim said quietly, then looked down. She felt her shaky composure begin to shatter and she moved away, mumbling something about needing to lie down.

Damian and Philip held an instant conference with their eyes, then broke formation. Damian accompanied Kim into the shuttle, while Philip stayed to draw Jackie’s wrath towards himself, in the hopes she would be gentler with Kim once her anger was dispelled. Alan nodded once to Blaine that he was all right, then slowly followed Kim and Damian to the shuttle. Kim wasn’t the only one who wanted to lie down.

Jackie looked at the envelope in her hands, then at Kim’s retreating form. She knew Philip was waiting for her to say something, but the words wouldn’t come. She sighed and folded the envelope, then stuffed it into the back pocket of her jeans before striding towards the parked car.

*****

In the shuttle, Kim collapsed into her bunk and curled up with her face to the wall. The brief encounter had done nothing to alleviate the tension she felt, and she didn’t know how to proceed. She knew that she had run away from the situation by retreating to the shuttle, but had not known what else to do. Away from her house, she was adrift without Karen. She had become Karen, or Karen had become part of Kim. She couldn’t be certain which was the case. What happened when the actor became the role?

“You okay?” Damian asked softly as he sat down on the edge of the narrow bunk. He put his hand on the far side of the bunk, just above her knees, and leaned over a little so he could see her face.

“No, but I’ll survive, thanks.” Kim covered his hand with her own and closed her eyes.

Alan joined them in the shuttle and claimed the bottom bunk adjacent to her own. A questioning look to Damian was answered with a head shake. Alan’s gaze became sympathetic, and he shook his head at the situation before lying down to sleep. The return trip had sapped his energy.

“Is there anything I can get you?” Damian asked her quietly.

“Are there any extra blankets, or does Jackie have them all?”

Damian didn’t answer, but instead stood and opened an overhead compartment. He removed a piece of fabric that had a silver metallic sheen. It was thin, but very effective. He shook the folds out and covered her with it. “Get some sleep,” he told her, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. She nodded, and he moved towards the front of the shuttle and closed the privacy panel behind him. The lights in the shuttle dimmed to near darkness and she heard his footsteps on the ramp, indicating that she and Alan were alone.

*****

Philip let Jackie head towards the car by herself, realizing she needed more time to deal with the situation before confronting them. He headed instead for the couch. Megan went to relieve Blaine from guard duty, knowing Philip was going to fill them in on how he and Kim had managed to end up where they were today. Ted claimed a chair that faced Philip, while Drew and Blaine took seats on the loveseat adjacent to the sofa where Anthony and Philip sat. When Damian emerged from the shuttle, he took over radio duty.

Philip leaned back into the soft cushions. It was draining to have to cover all of this material again, but he preferred to do it himself and spare Kim the effort. Then they would be able to skip past Kim’s history and move directly to their inevitable questions when she woke from her badly-needed nap. He directed his attention to Ted. “How much did Megan tell you?”

“As much as she knew. And she read us the letter Kim left for you. It’s clear that Kim has been through a lot...”

Philip nodded. “Much more than any of you know.” He pretended not to notice when Jackie left her self-assigned task of unloading the car and brought a chair over to sit on, just outside the boundaries of the circle the others were sitting in.

Jackie didn’t want to sit next to Philip, but she knew she needed to hear this before she faced Kim again. She had never felt as much of an outsider to the group as she did right now. She alone was harboring deep bitterness about Kim’s deception, and she didn’t regard her long-time friend with the god-like awe that the others seemed to feel when thinking about Kim. Jackie didn’t need answers so much as she craved a context in which to understand how the lie had been allowed to consume Kim.

Listening to Philip talk, though, reminded her just how much Kim had suffered for Andy’s sake. Only to lose him. For the first time, she received confirmation that Kim had been unable to watch Jackie suffer and pleaded for her release, despite the potentially crippling results to the fifth column effort on the ship. She heard about Julie’s capture, conversion, and rescue. Philip’s narrative told her more about life on board the mothership than she had ever known before, and she was forced to interrupt Philip several times so he could clarify things everyone else in his audience knew from experience. She wondered if he was painting the graphic picture for her sake.

She watched him while he talked, and could hear the concern he felt for Kim in his voice. But his eyes showed concern for her. She was reminded of the day she had pressed him for information about Karen, how he had told her to be patient, that she wouldn’t like the truth when she heard it. He’d known, even then, and had supported her still. As much as she wanted to, she couldn’t stay mad at him. She owed him her life. He’d rescued her from a horrible fate, bandaged her wounds, protected her from herself, and guided her back to Kim. All the while, knowing she might one day hate him for the deception involved.

“Is she still suicidal?” Anthony asked quietly. Megan had shown him Kim’s letter the afternoon of his arrival, so he was working from the same information everyone else had.

Philip shook his head. “No. At the time, Andrew had just been killed, and she had to spend several more days on board before Martin could arrange her ‘death.’ By the time she reached her house, she was desperate. Being alone while she tried to deal with her feelings of guilt didn’t help, and I think that is what drove her to try. Going to Paul was the smartest thing she could have done under the circumstances. Especially considering how Andrew died.”

“What happened?” Ted wanted to know.

Philip shook his head. “He was murdered. The details are something she doesn’t want to talk about, and I don’t blame her. It won’t change anything.”

*****

Kim roused when she heard Alan getting up. She yawned and slowly eased out of the bunk, then switched the light intensity up so she could see her way around without stumbling. “I don’t suppose staying in here forever is a viable option?” she asked, running her fingers through her hair in an attempt to tame the unruly locks.

“You’re still worried about Jackie?” Alan leaned on the crutches and regarded her curiously. “She seemed calm earlier.”

“You don’t know Jackie like I do. A lot of anger is lurking beneath that calm appearance and this isn’t going to be resolved with her for a long time.” Kim yawned again. “I’m going to get something to eat. Are you hungry?”

Alan nodded.

“Then why don’t you go sit on the couch and I’ll go fetch dinner,” Kim suggested, then waited for him to exit the shuttle. As he carefully made his way down the ramp, Kim looked around. Damian was in on the radio, and Drew was helping Jackie unload the car. Megan was presumably on guard duty outside. The others were all sitting together and talking quietly. She felt their eyes turn to her and Alan, and she forced herself to act naturally as she walked past.

*****

She returned with a package of hamburger and joined Alan on the loveseat to share it with him. She forced a light tone into her voice as she spoke in Sirian to Ted. “Aren’t you glad now that I turned you down?”

Jackie heard the strange-sounding language and glanced over to see what she had missed. Ted had never looked as flustered as he did now. The others were all smiling to varying degrees. Even Drew, who stood right next to her, seemed to be amused.

“What did she say?”

Drew shook his head, knowing how uncomfortable Jackie was with the Sirians’ open relationships. “She was just teasing Ted.”

Jackie was distracted from further questions when Kim took a bite of hamburger, then switched back to English. “It may not seem like it, but I made a real effort not to take advantage of the situation. Now you know why I never answered questions about my past.”

“You never spoke the language before,” Blaine commented.

Kim switched back to Sirian. “If my pronunciation didn’t give me away, my accent would have.”

“Drew,” Jackie whispered in a demanding manner.

Drew quickly translated for Jackie, so she could follow the exchange.

Between mouthfuls, Kim switched back to English again. “I only needed to be able to read, write, and listen. I could always avoid speaking myself by invoking Diana’s rule that everyone speak in Earth languages. That was a good thing, because there are some sounds in your language I simply can’t make.”

“Not for lack of trying,” Philip added, reminding them both of the hours of practice back in her lab.

Jackie saw the knowing look pass between the two of them and felt horribly excluded. She and Kim had once shared such looks. Now Kim spoke an alien language, and she was sitting next to Alan while both of them ate raw hamburger as if nothing were out of the ordinary. It was enough to make her want to scream. The final act of the play was over, so why did Kim insist on continuing the role? The joy she had initially felt when she opened the trunk and discovered the books, games, and linens Judy had sent was fading fast.

Alan moved closer to Kim and put his left arm around her shoulders. She leaned against him compliantly. They both continued to nibble on meat from the package she held in her lap. Her warmth was intoxicating, healing, and she had insisted yesterday that she didn’t mind the close contact her warmth made them all crave. She’d even claimed to savor the contact and gone on to explain how important touch was in close human relationships.

“Does Martin know?” Drew inquired. He’d long since given up on helping Jackie and settled for leaning on the car while he listened to the nearby exchange.

Kim glanced at Philip with an impish grin, and then at Drew and nodded. “He didn’t believe me at first, but pseudoskin can only hide so much.” She met Jackie’s eyes almost by chance, and immediately looked away. The disapproval she saw in Jackie’s eyes was something she didn’t want to face right now.

*****

Jackie didn’t want to confront Kim in front of the others. She was already the outsider, and alienating the Visitors more wasn’t going to help any of them. She needed them too much. So when Kim got up to return the uneaten meat to the fridge, Jackie took the opportunity to talk to her alone.

She hung back in the doorway, not knowing what to say. They’d never had this problem before. “Kim, are you...” Bad start, Jackie. Try again. “You’re supposed to be craving dill pickles on ice cream, not hamburger that was never even shown the grill,” she joked lamely.

“I know.” Kim bowed her head after she closed the refrigerator door. “This is about all I can keep down.”

Jackie stepped into the room, forced to move closer so she could hear Kim’s reply. “Kim...you can’t... are you getting all the nutrients you need?”

“What difference does it make?”

“What difference...”

Kim straightened and turned around. “I probably won’t survive this pregnancy. Vitamins won’t change that. If there are any complications, any at all, there isn’t going to be anything any of us can do. Carrying twins only adds to the risk.”

“Twins...” She searched Kim’s lifeless eyes.

“Judy loaned me her stethoscope yesterday. There are two heartbeats.”

Jackie didn’t know what to say, but knew expressing her own panic at the news was not a good idea. She stood there, groping for words, when she saw a dark bruise peeking from behind the open collar of Kim’s shirt. Her hand darted out and moved the fabric aside before Kim had time to react. When she saw the dark green area with scale patterns she jerked her hand away instinctively. Horrified, she looked into Kim’s eyes and saw the hurt. Hurt she had inflicted by pulling away in shock and what Kim probably perceived as revulsion. To be honest, she wasn’t certain that Kim’s perception was totally erroneous.

Kim straightened her collar. “It’s nothing.”

“The hell it is. My God, Kim, you’re turning into a Visitor! What did Diana do to you? You can’t live on a diet of raw meat forever. How long until you’re due?”

“Hoping I’ll die sooner and get it over with?” Kim said in a fatalistic tone.

“No! You know I don’t want that.” Jackie reached out and took her hand. Kim’s fingers felt cold. She looked down and realized how little flesh covered the bones of her wrists and hands. Kim was terribly underweight for someone who was pregnant. “Kim, what happened to you?”

Kim didn’t answer. She was so tired and didn’t feel equal to dealing with yet another barrage of questions. Questions she couldn’t answer, because they had no answers. She shut her eyes and pulled her hand away.

“Kim, you’re scaring me. I’ve never seen you like this.”

“Welcome to the war, Jackie,” Kim said softly before retreating from the room.

Jackie remained in place, frozen there by the realization that Kim expected to die. In all the years they had known each other, Kim had always been strong. Even when Marc died, the underlying strength had been there, lurking beneath the grief. Jackie had grown to think Kim was invincible, and had always envied her resilience. It was terrifying to realize that Kim’s strength was almost gone, and along with it, her will to live.

*****

Lorraine ducked into an infrequently used corridor and gestured for Martin to follow her. After a final glance over her shoulder, she moved into his arms. From all appearances, they were two lovers stealing a moment alone while on duty.

“Steven has revived Mike Donovan’s son, Sean,” Lorraine whispered to him.

Martin bowed his head and held her more closely to him. Mike had been obsessed with rescuing Sean since the day he was first taken, and had put the fifth column at great risk with his efforts. If Steven now knew about Sean, the boy’s death was almost guaranteed.

Martin sighed. “We can’t protect him. It’s too much of a risk.”

“I agree, but thought you should be the one to decide,” Lorraine said quietly. She squeezed his hand and slipped away.

*****

After a couple of days, life settled back into a familiar routine at the soundstage. Once they heard the remaining details of the infiltration from Philip and then Kim, the columnists accepted her fully as one of their own. Kim continued taking turns on radio duty, and resumed her long hours of conversation with Damian in the shuttle while he completed the repairs.

Jackie felt increasingly like a barely-tolerated outsider. Before, she had known she was alone, and unique, as the sole human. But with Kim’s unmasking, that dynamic had changed. Kim understood the culture, the inside jokes, life on the ship. Even her body language was different. Sirian. She continued to flirt, Visitor fashion, and the finger play was too obvious to miss. Jackie had seen Kim flirting with just about everyone, but Damian and Philip especially. At first she thought the Visitors gravitated towards Kim for her body heat, until Jackie realized they hardly ever touched her at all. A long time ago, Philip had explained the way touch was regarded by his people: as just another, more serious level of flirtation. Armed with that information, Jackie had understood its absence in her own interactions with the columnists. Until now.

Anthony had replaced Philip as her confidant. Try as she might, she couldn’t turn to Philip for support like she once had, and Philip gracefully refrained from pressing the issue. Anthony listened to her for hours at a time, constantly validating her own feelings as she tried to come to terms with her war experiences. He never seemed to run out of patience with her, and he was the one bright spot in an otherwise miserable existence.

For the most part, she and Kim avoided each other. Or rather, Jackie avoided Kim. The few conversations they did have were strained and usually ended when the misery was too great to bear.

Anthony’s initial attempts to hypnotize her were dismal failures as well. No matter how she tried, she couldn’t lower her guard enough for the hypnosis to be effective in triggering memories of her experiences on the ship. Without memories of the conversion process to guide him, Anthony was doubtful he would be able to help her combat the images planted deeply in her subconscious.

Jackie and Megan studied the books and prepared as best they could, but neither of them knew what to expect. Hours of worry were broken by chess and card games, which made the time pass faster for all of them. The columnists showed an interest in the games that Jackie found surprising, until Anthony reminded her that they knew they had to learn as much as they could about human cultures if they were to survive on the planet. Someday the war would end, and the columnists assumed that being stranded here was a distinct possibility, if there was a planet left to inhabit.

*****

Damian sank into the pilot’s seat and turned on the shuttle engines. Consoles sprang to life as Kim watched from her vantage point in the co-pilot’s seat. Many of the readouts were unfamiliar to her, but others she recognized as displaying information such as engine power level, external climate conditions, and the status of the weapons.

Damian nodded his head, satisfied with everything he was seeing. “I think all of the systems are functional again, except for the homing device.”

“Congratulations. How about we celebrate?”

He powered down the engines and watched the console go dark before turning to her. Something in her voice piqued his interest and he looked at her questioningly.

In answer, she stood up and beckoned him to follow her to the rear compartment. When the panel for the sleeping compartment was closed, securing their privacy, she moved closer to him and wrapped pliant fingers around his wrist.

He studied her intently, rather than responding with the counter signal. Gently disengaging his wrist, he took her face in his hands. “Are you sure?”

Kim smiled at him. “There is something you should know about me. Once I make up my mind, I’m not easily persuaded to change my decision.” She ran a finger along his profile. “And I don’t think you really want to persuade me, do you?” she whispered as she pulled him down onto a bunk.

*****

“Is Kim in the shuttle?” Jackie asked Philip. He was sitting nearby, reading one of the books Judy had sent.

He put down his book and looked at her with solemn eyes. He had heard the engines power up, and noticed that no one emerged after the obvious success in completing repairs. “Stay out of the shuttle.”

“Why? It’s never been off limits to me before,” Jackie bristled.

“I warned you before that there were things you didn’t want to know. For your own sake, stay out here.” Philip watched her, waiting to see if she would comply, or if he would be forced to explain further.

Jackie’s brow furrowed, wondering what he was talking about. The idea that came to mind was disquieting, and she mentally took role-call. Damian was in the shuttle, too. “Oh my...” she whispered and turned away. Her stomach rolled. This was too much for her to deal with.

Shaken, she retreated to pace along the far wall, tracing a too-familiar path in the dust. She tried not to notice Megan watching her. Darn it, she was not a bigot! She had known Kim before any of them did, and this just wasn’t in Kim’s character! Especially in light of the obvious affection between Kim and Philip. Yet Philip was running interference while his presumed lover had a tryst with someone else.

Jackie tasted bile and swallowed hard, willing herself to take calm, deep breaths. She needed to talk to someone desperately, but she doubted even Anthony would be able to explain this to her satisfaction.

*****

“What are you doing?” Damian pulled back when he felt her fingernails dig through the pseudoskin around the base of his neck.

Kim’s brow furrowed, “What do you think?” She was determined to see his face. Taking all of it off wasn’t practical, given the effort involved in repairing it. The adhesive on the inner side worked for several applications, but fusing the seams in an unblemished fashion took skill and patience. Right now, she was short on patience.

“Kim...”

She shook her head at him as she worked her fingers under the pseudoskin and carefully pulled it free. “Argue all you want. I’ll get my way in the end. Don’t worry, I can repair it.” She casually tossed the mask aside and pulled him to her again.

“But the adhesive...” his token protest was cut short by a warm, human kiss.

*****

Jackie finally gave up her pacing and tried to read instead. She turned page after page of one of the childbirth books without comprehending a word of the text. It was better to pretend to be busy than to be obviously waiting for Kim and Damian to emerge. She was grateful that Philip, who sat nearby reading, didn’t comment on her agitation.

After what seemed to be an eternity, Damian emerged from the shuttle and went to relieve Ted on guard duty. He smiled at her as he walked past, acting as if nothing had changed. Maybe for him, it hadn’t. But this was not the Kim she knew. As soon as Damian was at his post, she threw down her book and ventured into the shuttle.

“Kim...” Jackie stopped next to the opening that separated the sleeping compartment from the rest of the shuttle. Kim was sitting on the bottom bunk at the very rear, buttoning her shirt. She looked up when Jackie came in. Jackie couldn’t read the expression on her face. “I can’t take this anymore.”

Kim looked down at her fingers as they worked the buttons. “I’m sorry, but I can’t fix it for you. And I can’t be strong for you right now. It’s all I can do to get through each day.”

“Then at least talk to me! Help me to understand. Because right now, I don’t understand.” She gestured at the bunks. “Not this, not you. On the ship to survive is one thing, but here? I don’t care what your reasons are. Make something up if you have to. Lie to me if it helps. Tell me it’s another side effect of this strange pregnancy. Tell me anything. Just don’t keep shutting me out.”

“Jackie, how can I explain everything to you when I don’t claim to understand it myself? You want answers I can’t give you, because I don’t have them.” Kim rubbed her temples with her hands. The languid peace she had found in Damian’s arms a short time ago was all but gone.

“Then give me the answers you do have. Because right now, I’m terrified. I know how rough pregnancy can be, and it doesn’t take a genius to see that yours has been especially tough. But it’s not like you to give up like this. There was a time you would have poured over every medical text you could find, stopping at nothing to find answers and solutions. Megan and Anthony have already said they’ll help any way they can. And where are you? You’re more worried about satisfying your libido than living to raise your children!”

“I don’t expect them to survive, Jackie. You have enough background in biology to know how impossible this all is.”

“The least you could do is fight to save them.”

“I tried that with Andrew, and it only hastened his death. Had I done nothing, he’d still be alive.” Kim got up and pushed past Jackie, squeezing her eyes tightly against the inevitable tears.

Jackie caught her arm. “Is that what this is about? Your sense of guilt?”

Kim jerked her arm away, anger filling her voice. “Has it ever occurred to you that one reason I didn’t tell you I was posing as Karen was because I didn’t want to face this constant barrage of questions from you? I don’t have the energy to keep dueling with you like this! I don’t have the energy to coddle you and take care of you. I have enough to deal with without your accusing glares every time you feel the effects of the conversion.

“You think I don’t know what you went through? I was there! And I did what I could, but too many other lives were at stake for me to put your welfare first. I did what I could on the ship, and when you came here, I protected you by keeping my distance.”

Kim tried to keep the viciousness from her voice, but only partially succeeded. “You are _not_ ready to deal with the realities of my life, Jackie. I don’t know if you ever will be. I immersed myself in a new culture to survive. I’m sorry if the details of my new existence are offensive to you, but it’s none of your business who I sleep with, or when. I don’t expect you to approve, but I do expect you to stay out of it.”

Before Jackie could formulate a response, Kim had left the shuttle. She settled for hurling her fist into one of the so-called mattresses. When she realized she had used her left hand, she crumpled to the floor in tears.

*****

Kim wiped the tears away with the back of her hand and curled up next to Philip on the couch. He immediately set aside his book and put his arms around her.

“Will you go find Anthony? Jackie needs him.” She knotted his shirt in her hands, and he tightened his embrace. “And I need you.”

Philip kissed her temple where it pressed against his face and slipped out of her grasp. “I’ll be right back,” he promised.

*****

Lorraine sat down next to Martin in the rec hall and reached across him to select a mouse from a serving container that held several. “Diana is planning to offer Sean up as bait, to get Mike to turn himself in,” she said softly as she pretended to debate over which rodent to snatch. “We have to assume it will work, and plan accordingly.”

“I can’t believe he would...” Martin let the thought trail off. Actually, Mike was quite likely to accept the bait to rescue his son, and rely on the fifth column to protect him once on board. “We can’t risk yet another rescue of Donovan. If he is taken prisoner again, he is to be offered a suicide capsule.”

“And if he refuses?” Lorraine asked, knowing the answer. She tipped her head back and lowered the struggling rodent to her mouth, snared it with her tongue, and swallowed it in one fluid motion.

“Then we kill him. He knows too much. We can’t let Diana question him. It could destroy the fifth column on board.”

“I agree. I’m sorry.” Lorraine squeezed his hand and slipped away, leaving Martin to sit and curse the human tendency to protect family members no matter the risks involved.

*****

Kim, needing some time alone, retired to one of the double beds rather than her bunk in the shuttle. She needed more and more sleep these days, and her rest was often interrupted by the sounds of the others coming or going, depending on their shifts. Even though the Visitors moved quietly, trying not to disturb her, she slept so lightly that the slightest sound roused her.

“Kim?”

Kim opened her eyes and saw Damian kneeling next to the bed. “What’s wrong?”

“That’s what I’m here to ask you. I heard about Jackie.”

“You don’t need to worry about that. She’s mad at me, and lashing out any way she can. She doesn’t understand.”

“I’m not sure I do either.”

Kim moved back from the edge of the double bed and flipped back the covers. “Then you may as well lie down, because the explanation could take awhile.”

He slipped off his shoes and settled himself on the mattress stiffly, still unsure of the dynamics of their interaction.

Kim moved closer and rested her head on his shoulder. She toyed with the buttons of his shirt and then unbuttoned them. “Maybe all night,” she whispered suggestively before growing serious again.

Damian relaxed when her tone turned playful and wrapped his arm around her. He realized then that Kim was really all right, in spite of Jackie’s outburst. He nuzzled his cheek against her hair and let her intoxicating warmth soothe his tired muscles. “All night?”

“Umm hmmm. Unless you have something else you’d rather do, like pull an extra shift on guard duty.”

Damian groaned. “Don’t mention guard duty.”

Kim switched to Sirian and lowered her voice. “Is she still awake?”

“I’m not sure,” Damian replied in the same language. “She went to bed awhile ago.”

“Then we’d better not use English, just in case she is awake and can hear us. It isn’t something she’d have an easy time hearing us talk about. You’ll just have to put up with my accent.”

“It’s really not that noticeable.”

“A very charitable assessment, I’m sure,” Kim commented, then grew serious. “Personal relationships are handled very differently in the culture Jackie and I grew up in.”

*****

She talked for a long time, trying to help Damian view the situation from Jackie’s eyes. He listened intently, though at times it was difficult to concentrate. Between the sound of her voice speaking his own language and the feel of her body, he was somewhat distracted. He ran his hand along her side from shoulder to thigh. The thin shirt she slept in did little to shield his palm from her warmth, and even less to hide the soft curves of her human form. While none of his lovers would ever describe him as rough, he was especially gentle with Kim. He’s seen how easily Jackie and Kim bruised, their skin being more fragile than his own scales. There was something about her that evoked a level of tenderness he’d never felt before.

It grew more difficult to concentrate when she began her own exploration, evoking responses no human could emulate. He felt her fingers run along the base of his crest, from his brow to the nape of his neck and he moaned softly.

Kim felt his crest flare against the confines of the crown of hair bonded to pseudoskin. She closed her eyes, pleased at his reaction, and trailed her fingers lightly over his face. His tongue coiled around her finger as it brushed his lips, and she started, opening her eyes. His tongue disappeared and he looked at her apologetically.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, realizing he’d broken the mood.

Kim shook her head contritely and pressed her forehead against his, holding his head between her palms. “Don’t be sorry. You just startled me.” The tension she felt beneath her fingers didn’t ease. “Please, don’t be uncomfortable. There’s bound to be an awkward moment or two on occasion, even with two people of the same species. I was just surprised. No one’s done that with me before.”

“No one?” he asked softly.

Kim chuckled slightly and rubbed her nose against his. “You’re third on my very short list of lovers, Damian.”

His puzzlement gave way in a moment, when he realized what she meant. “You mean third Sirian.”

“Third anyone,” she corrected him.

“What about Marc?”

Kim shook her head and pulled back so she could meet his eyes. “Unless you count just kissing.” She pushed his shoulder playfully. “Haven’t you listened to a word I’ve said?”

“But you also said a lot of people ignore those rules.”

“I didn’t. Marc and I were waiting until we got married. Philip had to teach me everything,” she explained, tracing the lines of his human lips. Damian cautiously snared her finger with his tongue again, and she smiled at him. “Obviously, my education was somewhat incomplete. Care to remedy that?”

Further conversation became impossible.

*****

Sated, Damian wrapped his arms around her and resumed their earlier, abandoned discussion. “So the idea is to marry someone you’ve never slept with?”

“That’s right.” She pressed her back more firmly against him and ran her hands over his arms. “Humans have an innate desire to pair bond with one person to start a family. It’s like the clinic, except in the United States, the individuals make their own choice, and fidelity is part of the arrangement. Some people have affairs, sure, but the desire for an exclusive pair bond is always there on some level.”

“Even for you?”

 “Even for me. Even when I know it will never happen,” she admitted, glad they were conversing in his language. This was not a conversation she wanted to share with Jackie.

“It could.”

“Not likely.” Kim enunciated the words carefully, all too aware of the odds.

“I’m married.”

“What?” Kim sputtered and pulled away. She turned onto her back so she could look at him. “You’re in the military. You’re not allowed to get married until you resign from active duty. And Philip told me that’s rare, since by the time you get done with active duty, the clinic never summons you.”

“Those are the rules of the clinic and the government. Lorraine and I defied them— secretly, of course. You’re the first person I’ve told. The point is, some of us DO commit to a life with one person.”

Kim was still stalled on the first part of his revelation. “Lorraine. You mean the Lorraine Martin has relied on to help him organize column activities on the L.A. ship? That Lorraine?”

“That’s her.” Damian nodded and his gaze grew distant. “She probably thinks I’m dead.”

Kim didn’t hear him. She sat up and hugged herself tightly, still reeling from his confession.

“What’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong? I _like_ Lorraine. I’m not looking forward to explaining to her why I’m having an affair with her husband, that’s what’s wrong!”

“Kim, lie down.” Damian coaxed her back into his arms. “Now you’re the one who’s uncomfortable when you don’t need to be.”

Kim sighed, but the tension in her body remained. “You’re right. If you don’t care, I shouldn’t.” She looked askance at him. “Am I correct in assuming that fidelity is not part of this arrangement?”

Damian regarded her tenderly and shook his head. “It can’t be. Not in the fleet. Not when we’ve had to keep it secret.”

“What if she comes to the surface? What then?”

“Then, I suppose, for the first time, we’d have the luxury of choice, especially if we stayed here when the war ends.” He stroked her hair, not daring to think too much about the future, lest he be disappointed. “But she’s on the ship, and I’m here.”

“With me,” Kim added, finally relaxing.

He debated if he should ask the question that had been on his mind for days. He finally decided if she didn’t want to answer, she’d say so. “It’s Martin, isn’t it?”

Kim looked at him for a long moment, then turned away, nodding. “Crazy, I know.”

“No. It’s not crazy at all.”

Kim’s voice took on a sarcastic tone. “Mr. Promiscuity himself is going to leave the fleet and settle down on Earth with a human wife and two kids? Right!”

“He could. And for the record, his twin brother is the promiscuous one.”

Kim’s gaze snapped back to meet his. “His twin? As in identical twin?”

“You mean there are still a few things you don’t know?” he teased as he nodded in answer to her question. “How much do you know about how twins are raised?”

Kim thought back to what Philip had told her. She closed her eyes and concentrated, reciting facts from memory. “Identical twins are rare, even more so than here. But the ones that are born are raised in an institution, a laboratory of sorts. They are not allowed to form relationships other than with their twin. Most choose the military, since the military structure is more comfortable than the normal social structure for them. They are called to the reproductive clinic frequently, perhaps because of their social class.”

She opened her eyes. “I think it is more likely that they are being used in reproductive experiments, though my guess is they are told they are of superior genetic stock, and never realize they are being used in that way.”

“What makes you think that?” Damian prodded.

“Something Diana said once. And since the clinic arranges all pairings anyway, I can’t imagine them passing up that temptation.”

“How is it you can so quickly figure out what it took me years to realize?”

“I’m a born cynic?” Kim smiled and looked to see if he wanted a serious answer. He did. “I think I’ve started to question everything I’ve heard, since I know so much of it is propaganda. I take it I’m right?”

“I can’t say for certain, but I agree with your suspicion. The official view is that twins are exceptional individuals, and that is why they are compensated with material wealth and choice assignments. Like you, I suspect it’s a way of keeping their subjects complacent and cooperative while the government exploits them. The clinic has only been in operation for a hundred years or so, but that’s plenty of time for them to track their results for several generations.”

“And that’s how Martin grew up...” Kim remarked. “Do you know how cold and horrible that sounds to someone like me, who grew up with a mother who loved me like she did?”

“My father enjoyed being a parent, even if it was his duty,” Damian remarked before his thoughts returned to Martin. “I’ve wondered if the fifth column movement arose partly out of his rebellion against the government in general.”

“Is his brother involved in the column, too?”

“Not that I know of. He’s still on the home world, though he is in the military. He’s an Inspector General, and known to have the favor of the Leader. He’ll never be assigned to Earth while Martin is here.”

“Why not?”

“Identical twins have a mystique about them. The military would never risk them being on the same assignment, where orders might be disobeyed out of loyalty to a sibling.”

 Kim thought back to conversations she had shared with Martin. He _had_ understood her bond with Andrew. And he had knowingly gotten himself assigned to Earth to lead the fifth column, realizing he might never see his brother again, which meant he also understood self-sacrifice. She shook her head, fighting the desire to read more into their similarities than was really there. If anything, his upbringing made him even less prepared than most Sirians for marriage and child-rearing. What Damian had told her, in an attempt to give her hope, only convinced her that her heart’s desire would never be fulfilled.

It was too much to deal with, which made it far better to live for today and not worry about what the future held. Resolving to do just that, she turned her attention back to seducing her current companion.

*****

Their confrontation in the shuttle only increased the tension between Jackie and Kim. Strained conversations gave way to silences and mutual avoidance. Days passed with barely a word being exchanged between them. But Jackie couldn’t hide her alarm when she noticed Kim emerge from the bathroom even more ashen-faced than usual. “What’s wrong?”

Philip and Megan, who were sitting on the couch discussing how to best help spirit a recently targeted human family into the network of safe-houses, paused and looked up at Jackie’s question.

“I’ve started spotting blood.” Kim avoided meeting Jackie’s eyes, and looked instead at Philip as she headed towards the bed behind the nearby privacy screen.

Jackie reached for one of the books stacked on the floor by her feet. She flipped through to find a familiar chapter. “That isn’t necessarily a bad indication. It could just be a sign of minor bruising or something. What color was it? I remember reading something about the color somewhere...”

“You won’t find the answers in that book, Jackie.”

“Maybe not this one, but I know I read it somewhere. Gimme a second to check the index.”

“Look under ‘green.’” Kim kept her eyes focused straight ahead and went to lie down.

Jackie lost all animation and the book slid from her lap. She leaned back into the couch cushions and shut her eyes. “Damn.”


	9. Being a Leader Sucks

Martin entered his access code and tried to ignore the sick feeling he always got when visiting the interrogation chambers. He couldn’t help but wonder how long it would be until he was on the receiving end of Diana’s questions. The doors parted and he set such thoughts aside. It was never safe to be distracted when in the same room as Diana. He had been finishing a double shift when he received Diana’s summons. Fatigue alone made him vulnerable to making mistakes; distraction on top of that could be fatal.

“Diana.” Martin nodded his head slightly as he stepped into the chamber. A glance around the room told him they were alone. The alcove where the restraining chair sat was unoccupied for the moment.

Diana casually glanced up from her computer console. “Lieutenant.” How she loved addressing him by that rank! She was careful to conceal her gloating, however, and pretended to still be at work. Donovan was a very important prisoner and there were few on board she could rely on to assist her during the interrogation of the resistance leader. Martin would undoubtedly ask excellent questions, which would aid her in destroying the human resistance. Certainly, success would earn her a promotion. Martin had supported her rise through the ranks, and she would soon be in a position to reward him for his loyalty and his instruction.

She finally logged out of the system and picked up a subcutaneous injector. “I’ve perfected a truth serum that is very effective with humans. I’m having a special prisoner brought in for questioning.” Diana toyed with the device, filled with pride at her accomplishment. “I would like you to assist in the interrogation.”

Martin nodded, hoping the fear he felt didn’t show in his eyes. Donovan had traded himself for his son yesterday, just as he and Lorraine had feared he would. Martin had wrestled half the night with his feelings of guilt for ordering his death; he regarded Donovan as a friend. Thankfully, no one had noticed his lapses in concentration during his turn on the graveyard shift, and morning had brought resignation and regret. Donovan was surely dead, either by capsule or killed by the fifth columnist sent to deliver it. Had someone suspected his involvement and suggested it to Diana? Diana herself might suspect him and have summoned him here specifically to watch his reaction. He was determined to show none: not the relief and fear he would feel if Mike were alive, nor the relief, guilt, and sorrow he would feel if Mike had been killed.

He and Diana turned when the doors parted again, revealing two guards and Mike Donovan. Martin moved back to allow them to pass, and watched impassively as the human was shoved into the chair and restraints applied to his wrists. Martin had no time to reflect on what had gone wrong. He had to concentrate on getting himself and the human out of this room alive. The guards retreated to their posts by the door, and Martin stepped into the alcove, ready for anything to happen.

Mike showed good sense and avoided looking at Martin, settling instead for directing acidic glares towards Diana. He was sweaty, and gasping for air. Martin couldn’t tell if it was a response to fear, if it was because the human was still wearing a warm jacket, of perhaps a combination of the two. Kim had told him she found the ship to be uncomfortably warm, and probably the same was true for Mike.

After observing her prisoner’s response to being restrained, Diana stepped into the alcove. “Do you believe in truth, Mr. Donovan?”

Mike got cocky, trying to act more brave than he felt. “Well, it depends on who I hear it from.”

Diana injected him with the truth serum and waited a moment for it to take effect. “What color is your hair?” Diana asked.

“Blue.” Donovan grinned at her. Her truth serum didn’t work.

Martin wanted to smack him. He should have told the truth after one dose, then lied about the answers to subsequent questions. All he had done was earn himself another injection! His right hand clenched into a fist.

“Really?” Diana grabbed a fistful of hair and jerked Donovan’s head to the side, exposing his neck. She injected him a second time, then retreated, pacing in front of the alcove. “What color is your hair, Mr. Donovan?”

Mike tried to hold back the words. Involuntarily, the word slipped out: “Brown.” He gasped, and then heard himself repeat the word.

Diana raked her fingers through his hair, gloating at her success. “Yes, a lovely shade of brown. Tell me, Mr. Donovan. The fifth column. You know some of them. Who is your contact?”

Mike fought to stay silent, straining against the bonds. If he could just concentrate on his breathing, maybe he could resist.

Diana repeated the question, more forcefully this time. “Who is your contact?”

Mike’s eyes darted around the room, looking for an escape. His gaze fell on Martin. Green eyes stared back at him, willing him to stay silent. He tried. But the name slipped out. “Martin.”

Diana whirled and stared at Martin in shock. Was the truth serum working? Her guards didn’t ponder such questions. One of them fired at Martin and missed. He crumpled to the floor before he got a second chance. Martin took out the second guard, too, then ran to the door, hoping to catch Diana, who had fled after the first shot. He fired after her, but she disappeared around a bend in the corridor.

He darted back to Mike and released the wrist restraints. The human swayed on his feet, and Martin half dragged him to the ventilation duct. “This is our way out,” Martin explained, then gave Mike a boost inside before climbing up behind him.

*****

Martin kept Mike moving, hoping that activity would help speed the elimination of the drug by his system. But being unfamiliar with human biology, for all he knew his efforts could be only making the drug more effective.

“We have to get out of here,” Mike mumbled, stumbling.

“I know that,” Martin snapped, then immediately felt guilty. Mike was a rare friend among the humans. It wasn’t fair to blame him for what had happened. Martin knew he had been fortunate to remain on board for as long as he had.

Once they were safely away from the interrogation room, Martin's thoughts turned to planning their escape. The faster they got off the ship, the better their chances were. They had only a short time in which to reach a shuttle, or they were in serious trouble. For the next few minutes, he might even be accepted as a commanding officer and not a traitor. Once Diana had mobilized everyone and sounded the alarms, escape would be next to impossible.

Ignoring the human's mumbled complaints, Martin half-dragged, half-carried Donovan through the ventilation system, heading towards a shuttle bay. They had almost reached their destination when Martin heard the alarm sound. He left Mike for a moment and ventured quietly ahead. Peering thorough the grate covering the vent, he saw the security teams moving into position. Escape via shuttle was no longer an option.

He went back to Mike, who finally seemed to be regaining some control of himself.

“We're trapped, aren't we?” Mike tried to make his eyes focus. Right now, he could see three overlapping images of Martin kneeling in front of him.

“For the moment. They have the shuttle bays secured. Right now, we need to get as deep inside the ship as we can. Diana won't expect us to go further in.”

“Why not? She'll figure out we're still here.”

“I know how she thinks. Pamela might be a problem, but not Diana. This way.” He pulled Mike to his feet and led the way into the heart of the mothership.

*****

They didn’t get very far before exhaustion drained the last energy from Mike’s legs.

“Come on, come on!” Martin coaxed, practically holding the human up on his feet.

“I’ve gotta sit down, I’ve gotta sit down,” Mike pleaded, gasping for air.

“All right. But just for a minute.” Martin knelt next to Mike, keeping a hand under Mike’s chin to keep his head from lolling to the side. “The drugs are going to wear off soon.” He didn’t really know that, but hoped that it was true.

“How long are these tunnels?” Mike asked, fighting to think through the drug-induced haze that surrounded his mind.

“They are bigger than the New York subway system, but that’s not going to stop them from catching us if we don’t keep moving. Come on.”

“Martin.”

Martin had started to prod the human to his feet, but paused when Mike spoke his name. “Huh?”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t keep my mouth shut back there. I really fixed it for you.”

“It’s not your fault. It was just a matter of time,” Martin told him, then hauled Mike to his feet as they resumed their trek into the heart of the ship.

*****

“Wait here,” Martin directed, letting Mike sink to the floor of the ventilation duct. Alone, he scouted ahead and checked their location based on the view from a grate. It opened into one of the water storage chambers in the hold. The air was cooler in this part of the ship, which he hoped would make Mike more comfortable. No guards were in sight, and the cameras were all directed towards monitoring the doors. This would provide them with a temporary haven while they waited for the drugs to wear off.

Satisfied, Martin returned to his friend and pulled Mike’s arm across his shoulders. “Just a little bit further, and then you can rest.”

“Where are we?” Mike asked groggily as he watched Martin open the grate.

“Someplace you’ve been before,” Martin answered. He jumped down to the floor, then reached up to help Mike climb down. “You should find the temperature in here more agreeable.”

Mike nodded. “I'm beginning to appreciate how big this ship is.” He was out of shape and out of energy. Looking around, Donovan was once again amazed at the volume of liquid stored here. Gawking at everything, he followed Martin to a water tank far from the main entrance.

“What if someone comes in?” he whispered.

“They shouldn't. All of these tanks are full. However, there are several ways to make a quick exit,” Martin told him, and pointed them out as he led them through the myriad of storage tanks.

“How long can we stay here?” Donovan asked after they had both drunk their fill of the water.

“Not long. But it's a safe place to stop and rest while the drugs wear off. Can you tolerate the temperature?” Martin asked as he sat down and leaned against a pipe, then closed his eyes.

“Better than I can tolerate Diana catching us.” He looked at Martin and suddenly realized that the fifth columnist was _really_ exhausted. He hadn't noticed it before. “Are you all right?”

“I'm just tired and can’t think straight. I was finishing a double shift when Diana called me in to help question you.”

“You asked me about the room temperature, but what about you? Is the temperature going to bother you?” Mike was uncomfortable discussing their physical differences, but he had to know. He sat down nearby, then reconsidered and lay down on the floor.

“No.” The Visitor shook his head wearily. “It's not cold enough for me to slip into hibernation. I’ve set the alarm on my watch in case I doze off. I have an idea how we can get off of the ship, but for now, just rest.”

Within a few minutes, Mike heard the Visitor's breathing change as he drifted into a deep slumber. Time passed slowly. Feeling himself get too relaxed, yet not wanting to be apprehended because he’d fallen asleep, he got up and slowly paced back and forth a few yards from Martin. The cool air helped revive him, and he could tell the drug was finally wearing off. Pleased, he settled himself once again and waited for Martin to get the rest he so desperately needed. He wished he knew how much time had passed.

Martin said something in his sleep. Mike recognized one word: Karen. The rest was spoken in a language other than English. Sirian, perhaps? Mike smiled and wondered who she was.

*****

After what seemed to be an unending passage of time, Martin roused and pressed a button on his watch.

Mike noticed, and wondered about it. “I didn’t hear an alarm.”

Martin glanced at him. “I have it on silent mode, which makes it vibrate rather than chime. Are you feeling better yet?”

Mike nodded, then let Martin help him to his feet. “Do you really think we'll get out of here alive?”

“Yes, I do. We need to go back into the ventilation system. This shouldn’t take long,” he added, then started towards the grill they had come through earlier.

“What about turning ourselves in and letting the fifth column spring us? I know they couldn't risk it for just me, but surely they'd do everything they could to get you out.”

Martin looked towards the ceiling, unconsciously imitating Kim, before he turned around and answered. “No. They have orders to kill me immediately if I am captured. They would probably kill you as well.”

*****

The air currents got a lot stronger and Martin picked up the pace.

“Where are we?” Mike asked.

Martin left Mike on one side of an open hatch, then went around to the other side, where he opened a storage compartment. He was relieved to see the parachutes were still inside. “This is where we get off.” He had to raise his voice to be heard over the rushing air.

“Great.” Mike looked around. “In what?”

“In these,” Martin replied, tossing him a parachute.

“What? Are you joking? We're going to sky-dive out of here?” Mike looked nervously from the parachute in his arms to Martin.

“That’s right. It’s our only chance. We don't have time to debate.”

“Do you realize how many miles up we are?” Donovan asked in disbelief and inched his way backwards. This couldn’t be happening! The drugs must still be in his system, making him hallucinate.

“As a matter of fact, I do.” Martin couldn’t hide his amusement at Mike’s reaction. Out of everything the human had faced, escape was giving Mike the most difficulty.

“Got a better idea. Let's work our way back to the landing bay, grab a sky fighter and cruise home!” Mike countered as he retreated even further.

“Get back here.” Martin grabbed Mike by the shirt and hauled him back to the hatch. “Put that thing on!” He saw the fear in Mike’s eyes and knew that the longer Mike stood there, the more difficult it would be to get him to jump.

Mike obeyed, numbly responding to Martin's commanding tone. Martin didn’t often talk to him like that. He wished he was still drugged. At least then, he would have been relaxed. “Where are we?” Mike asked again as Martin helped him step into the harness and adjust the straps.

“This is one of the fresh air intake portals on the bottom of the ship. A panel at the bottom closes for space travel, but here in an atmosphere, we keep them open,” Martin explained, as he strapped his own parachute on. He threw a switch and the grill that kept birds from flying aboard retracted into the sides of the opening.

Mike saw the patchwork quilt ground far below, the view now unmarred by the metal grillwork that had been in place moments before. He liked the previous view better. He swallowed hard and looked again at Martin.

Martin smiled at him. “You know, I don't know why you're making such a fuss about this, Donovan. In our service, young cadets are required to do this in their very first weeks of training.”

“All right. What do I do?” Mike sat down gingerly on the edge of the opening. Damned if he was going to let a few lizard cadets show more gumption than he had.

“Well, just lower yourself over the edge. Force of air in the 'chute will take care of the rest.”

Donovan stalled and looked Martin in the eye. “Well, when we land... if we land... you'll come with me? Join us?”

“Oh, no.” Martin shook his head, recognizing the ploy. “Our network has spread to Earth. I could do more good down there. Now go!” He pointed downward. Realizing the human wasn’t going to move, he straightened up and casually strolled around behind Mike.

“Cadets really do this?” Mike looked at him in disbelief, craning his neck to track his movements.

“No. Sounded good, though, didn't it?” Martin said as he gave Donovan a shove in the backside with his foot. He smiled as Donovan straightened up in surprise and slid down the side of the hatch before falling free, yelling a wordless scream that trailed back up to the Visitor. Still grinning, Martin followed him.

*****

Instinctively, Mike assumed the standard spread-eagle position for skydiving and prayed that the parachute would open. Wind rushed past his ears. He couldn’t see anything, since his eyes were tearing from the onslaught of air. Suddenly, he was jerked upward roughly, and he sighed in gratitude that the parachute had opened automatically as Martin had promised it would. He rubbed his eyes, then looked up and saw the brilliant red parachute filled with air. His body went limp in relief, until he realized he would be wise to steer himself so he didn’t land in the middle of a freeway or get stuck on a utility pole.

Once he was safely on the ground, he lay there for a moment, savoring the feel of dirt under his cheek before he stood up and looked for Martin, who had landed nearby. The winds had carried them to a relatively open area. Looking around, he realized they were in North Hollywood Park.

“Don't just stand there. We have to hide these,” Martin called to him. He had already unbuckled his parachute and gathered the billowing fabric into a bundle.

“Oh, yeah. Good idea,” Mike muttered, suddenly realizing what great targets they both were.

*****

“Are you sure you won’t come with me?” Mike asked once they had discarded the parachutes in a nearby trash can. They left the park and scanned the streets. No Visitors were in sight. Mike wasn’t sure if that was a good sign or not.

“We have a network on the surface. They need me more than you do right now. And I want to find out how much damage our escape did to the column.”

Mike looked sharply at him, asking the questions silently.

“Diana might decide to question everyone I worked with,” Martin admitted.

“You’re worried about Karen,” Mike said, making an educated guess.

Martin was startled by the comment. “Karen?”

Mike shrugged his shoulders. “You were talking in your sleep.”

“What did I say?”

“The only word I recognized was the name Karen.” Mike crossed his arms across his chest as he studied his friend. His reporter instincts hinted there was more to this than Martin was telling him. “You have some woman on your mind! Who is she?”

“Why do you want to know?” Martin countered, relieved Mike hadn’t heard anything. Before the human could answer, he continued. “Karen was a fifth columnist.”

“Was?”

“Was,” Martin repeated. “I'd rather not talk about it.” He changed the subject. “Where do you need to go to reconnect with your resistance group? I assume they moved their base.”

Donovan nodded confirmation. “We’ve got a system of safe-houses set up. But I can’t think of any located in this part of town.”

“Then why don’t you come with me for now? I’m sure Diana has everyone in the city looking for us. Getting through the checkpoints won’t be easy, and Paul can probably help with that.”

Mike considered, then agreed. “Works for me. Lead on.”

Martin went to a nearby pay phone. “Keep watch.”

Donovan nodded, stunned. Somehow, he had never pictured the Visitor using a pay phone. He moved away, his eyes scanning the streets automatically. “Of course he uses a phone, you idiot,” Mike muttered to himself. “Ten minutes off the ship, and he’s doing better on your planet than you are.”

Martin tugged his sleeve to get his attention a few minutes later and the two moved away from the phone. The Visitor led him down a narrow alley and selected a door that was right beside a dumpster. He tried the knob, but the door was locked. A short burst from his laser pistol solved that problem, and Martin shoved the door open with his foot, motioning for the human to stay back while he checked inside. Mike hated being so helpless, but Martin had the only firearm so he didn’t have much choice but to comply.

“It’s clear,” Martin called, waving Mike to follow him. He checked his chronometer, then sat down on a crate near the door. “Now we wait. Someone will be here soon.”

“Nice place,” Mike commented dryly, looking around. “Looks like a storage room for the store out front.”

Martin nodded. “And judging by the boarded-up windows in front, they have not been open for business for some time.” He closed his eyes, leaned forward, put his elbows on his knees and rested his forehead on his hands. “The owners are probably on the mothership somewhere.”

“Probably,” Mike commented absently. He paced in the confines of the small room, then stood tracing patterns in the dust with the toe of his right shoe. “Did Diana do anything to Sean?”

“I don't know.”

“You think I should have just let Diana have him?”

“I can't judge your decision.”

“Don't bullshit me, Martin. You have an opinion. What is it?”

Martin didn’t bother to look up. “Would I have made the same decision? No. But you humans seem inclined to take tremendous risks for your relatives and friends. It seems to be a trait of the species, in which case, I have no right to judge your decision.”

“Do you have children?” Mike persisted. Maybe Martin didn’t understand because he wasn’t a father. Heck, a few years ago, he’d have thought it was a stupid choice, too.

“I don’t know.”

“How can you not know? Don’t answer that,” Mike hastened to add. “What about your parents? Would they have risked themselves for you?”

“Mike, our culture isn't like yours.” He sighed to himself, wondering how much of his upbringing to divulge. He turned to the human and saw Mike’s brow was furrowed. He really was trying to understand. “I never knew my parents. I was raised in a laboratory.” He saw Mike’s eyes widen in disbelief.

“That sounds... awful.”

Martin shrugged. “I was always told it was a privilege to be envied. Who knows?”

“So you don’t have any family at all?” Mike said, not sure if he was asking as a question or stating a fact.

Martin thought about his twin brother and wondered how to answer. His brother was still loyal to the Leader. They’d had a falling out about the time Martin was assigned to duty on Earth and had not spoken to each other since. “None worth mentioning.”

Sad, how it didn’t even feel like a lie.

*****

“Here, maybe this will keep you busy for a few days,” Jackie told Kim as she leaned over the back of the couch and handed her a paperback book she’d picked up on her latest excursion to the store.

Kim took the book and read the title, realizing it was a book of names. “Guess I’d better start thinking about that.” Somehow, she’d not been motivated to decide on possible names for the children growing within her. Children she didn’t expect to survive. Kim closed her eyes and hugged the book to her chest. She was so tired of this, and now she was confined to bed, or the couch, or a bunk in the shuttle. She was still spotting blood, and bed rest was the only remedy available. She’d gotten really good at playing chess and cards while lying down.

“Would you see if there is an extra writing tablet somewhere?” Kim asked Damian as he walked past. Jackie had already moved away.

He nodded and returned shortly with a spiral-bound notebook and pencil. Good, Kim thought, she wouldn’t have to fight the effects of gravity and try to write upside down with a ballpoint pen. “Thanks.”

Damian picked up the book and flipped through it. “Where did you get this?”

“Jackie bought it,” Kim said, drawing a line down the middle of the first page of the notebook. She wrote a heading over each column: ‘girls’ and ‘boys.’

“So you get to pick the name yourself?”

Kim nodded. “You’re welcome to help.”

Damian’s interest was piqued and he moved around to the front of the couch. Kim sat up long enough for him to be seated, then laid her head in his lap. “Are there any rules to be followed?” he inquired once she was settled.

“No, we just open to a random page and point to a word. Whatever your finger lands on, that’s the name.” His expression told her he didn’t believe a single word of her response, and she giggled. “We need four complete names, two for girls, and two for boys. It’s customary for people to have a first name, middle name, and last name. The first name is usually what one goes by, while the last name is the family name --in this case, Winthrop. The middle name isn’t used as much, but it’s good to have. And the initials shouldn’t spell anything distasteful.”

“What’s your full name?”

“Kimberly Ann Winthrop. If Marc and I had gotten married like we’d planned, I would have changed my last name to Holbrook to match his.”

“Where do you want to start?” he asked, thumbing through the book.

“How about the beginning?”

“Abebi.” He read the first name listed for girls, then raised his eyebrows. It sounded rather unusual, compared to the names the Visitors on the motherships had adopted.

“Ugh! That sounds like a disease! While I’m sure there are many fine women with that name, I’d rather not add to their numbers.” Kim winced.

“Agreed,” Damian commented. He skimmed through several pages and saw several more names that he considered to be unusual. People actually used these?

“I have a rule of my own that I’m going to impose: nothing weird.”

“I hope you don’t expect me to argue with that,” Damian teased.

*****

Every few minutes, Martin cracked the door open and looked out into the alley. Finally, he swung the door wide-open and stepped outside.

Mike could see over his shoulder, and didn’t believe his eyes. Martin had called a hooker? What about finding the fifth column? The woman looked at someone outside of Mike’s line of sight and nodded.

“Diana has the whole fleet looking for you two, but from what we hear, she still thinks you are on the ship,” Paul said as he approached Martin and offered his hand.

Mike tried to hide his surprise when he realized that the man wearing jeans and a T-shirt was really a Visitor. “Maybe she’ll keep believing that.”

The woman with Paul shook her head. “Not for long.” She held out her hand to Mike. “I’m Brandie. Don’t look so stunned, Mr. Donovan. The fifth columnists aren’t snobs about who they’ll take help from.”

“You’ve been invaluable,” Martin told her as he took Brandie’s hand. “We’re just tired. How far away are you located?” The weariness he was feeling was evident in his voice.

“Not far,” Paul assured him. “And we have a car.” He glanced around, checking for prying eyes, then headed back to the main street.

*****

Paul drove them back to their headquarters and shepherded them inside. Brandie followed behind Martin and Mike and carefully secured the door behind them.

“I wondered when you’d show up,” Darlene said as she strolled into the entryway. “Here to take your pick of the humans?”

“Darlene,” Paul said warningly. He had no patience for her antics this afternoon.

“Or did you come here looking for _her_?” Darlene continued, ignoring Paul while she gave Martin a significant look.

“That’s enough, Darlene,” Paul snapped.

“If you have something to say, make your point,” Martin added, holding Paul back with a touch to his sleeve.

Darlene glanced at Mike Donovan and switched to Sirian. “I know about your human consort.”

“And?” Martin replied in the same language.

Darlene was a bit taken aback by that, having expected him to deny everything. “You’re no longer someone I will take orders from.”

“Is that a challenge?” Martin replied with deceptive softnesss.

“Maybe. But what authority do you have to enforce your orders? Diana is hunting _you_ now.”

The tone in Darlene’s voice was plain to Mike, even though the alien words were meaningless. She was obviously out of line. He stepped forward, wanting to defend Martin, when he felt Paul’s hand on his arm.

“Don’t interfere. She brought this on herself,” Paul said quietly.

Brandie took his other arm. “She’s been a real bitch,” she whispered to Mike. “Maybe your friend will straighten her out.”

Mike blinked at the same instant Martin lashed out. The next thing he knew, Darlene was pinned face down on the floor, her arm bent uncomfortably behind her back, with Martin’s knee pressing into her spine.

“Just kill me and get it over with,” Darlene snarled, no less defiant than she had been.

“No,” Martin refused.

“You can’t trust me.”

“I don’t. But you wouldn’t be here if you were not fifth column. I won’t help Diana thin our numbers. Promise to obey Paul and I’ll consider the matter closed.”

“Not you?”

“You implied I have lost your respect,” Martin countered. “I’m giving you credit for your honesty.”

“I’ll be loyal to Paul,” Darlene whispered, stunned by his concession. Martin moved away and she got slowly to her feet.

“You’re dismissed,” Paul told her in English. He watched her slink away, then led Martin and Mike to his office.

Mike looked from Martin to Paul, hoping one of them would translate the conversation, “What was that all about?”

Martin gave Paul a meaningful look as he answered, “Politics.” He turned to Mike and added, “She’s our version of Ham Tyler.”

Mike grinned, understanding. “Then we just have to get those two together!”

Brandie moved up beside him and looped her arm through his. “Tell me what you want and I’ll fix you something to eat.” She sensed his reluctance and tightened her grip, tugging him away from the doorway to Paul’s office. “I’m a good cook, honest.”

Mike yielded to her prodding and let her guide him down the dimly lit hallway.

As soon as they were away from the Visitors, she explained. “Paul won’t eat with us around, and I expect Martin will be the same way. Give them a chance to talk while you eat, and then you can join them while we get beds fixed up for you.”

“How’d you get involved in the resistance?”

“Paul came to us. Some of the girls didn’t want to get involved, but most were willing. He’s a better pimp than Johnny was, for sure! He helps protect us, and we help protect him. Pick your poison,” she said, changing the subject as she flipped on the kitchen ceiling light. “Eggs, bacon, pancakes... Angel made lasagna and I think there was some left.”

“I think I’ll do better with light breakfast fare,” Mike said, sliding a chair away from the table. He sank down into the seat gratefully. It was so reassuring to be in a kitchen, surrounded by the familiar scents of food and the sense of security all kitchens had, after his harrowing mis-adventure on the mothership.

“How do you like your eggs?” Brandie asked, opening the refrigerator.

“Scrambled.” He cocked his head at her. “You sure you don’t mind?”

“Compared to some of my customers, you’re easy to please,” she teased, leaning on the open door to the refrigerator.

Mike squirmed in his seat and felt his face grow red.

“I’m just funning with you,” Brandie said, winking at him. “You need to relax.” She let Mike suffer for a long moment, then returned to the issue at hand. “Pancakes? French toast?”

“French toast, thank you.”

She nodded and set eggs and milk next to the stove. “There’s OJ in there if you want it. Cups are up there.” She pointed to a cupboard. She lit the burner to the gas stove and placed a frying pan on it. “Just make yourself comfortable. I’ve had all my shots and I promise not to bite.”

Mike shook his head to himself. What did it say about his life when being a prisoner on an alien spaceship seemed more normal than having a prostitute cook him a meal?

*****

Paul shut the door behind Martin and gestured to the cages on the table in the corner of the room. “Help yourself.”

Martin swallowed a guinea pig, then leaned against the wall and closed his eyes. There was so much he had to do and all he could think about was getting some sleep. He allowed himself the momentary lapse, then tried to concentrate on the fifth column effort. “How many columnists are on the surface?”

Paul joined him at the cages. “About fifty that I know of. There may be more that don’t know about this network.”

“That few?”

Paul nodded soberly. “It’s gotten a lot more difficult to escape the ships. I honestly didn’t expect you to make it to the surface once we heard you’d been discovered.”

“I wasn’t sure we’d make it either,” Martin admitted without opening his eyes.

“Do you want me to notify the column you arrived? It would help morale.”

Martin weighed the risks and benefits, then nodded. “Lorraine is at too much risk right now to contact directly.” He pinched the bridge of his nose between a thumb and forefinger. “Laura would be a good one to contact. She’s still a private, but she’s gifted. If you can’t get to her, try Kendall. He’s a shuttle pilot.”

“When’s the last time you slept?”

Martin pushed himself away from the wall and sank into the closest chair. “We rested at one point during our escape, and I got some sleep then. But I was finishing a double shift when Diana called me in for Donovan’s truth serum treatment.”

“Then I really think you should get some sleep now, sir.”

“I will,” Martin conceded. “But first, I want to know about Darlene.”

Paul met his gaze without revealing anything about his own opinion. “I was wondering if you were going to bring that up. She’s here because of Karen.”

“So I gathered,” Martin said dryly.

Paul smiled and sat down in a chair opposite his commander. “May I ask a question?”

Martin nodded.

“Would you do the same thing again? Help her like you did?”

“Without question. She’s the reason you’re here, you know; it was her idea.”

Paul nodded, satisfied on some level, then shook his head slightly. “I still can’t believe she’s human. She was here, and I never suspected.”

“How many others know?”

“Just the group she’s with, and Darlene. Kim has a friend, I think her name is Jackie, who is with that group, too. They tolerated Darlene’s attitude for a time, but once they found out about Kim, they sent her to me. Ted said Kim’s pregnancy had been difficult enough without having to deal with Darlene in addition to everything else.”

“How difficult?”

“I’m not sure. A conversion technician is with them, both to help Jackie and to see if he can help Kim. But I haven’t been out there myself.” Paul leaned back in his chair and folded his arms, then described how Karen had come to him, as well as the events Ted had relayed on his last visit. In deference to his commander’s obvious fatigue, he tried to keep his report brief.

“That’s the group I’d suggest you stay with, actually. They get more information directly from the mothership than anyone else, and they are located in an area of low troop activity. They keep me up to date, but this is a more vulnerable area because of all the different groups checking in here.”

Martin nodded his agreement. “Where are they?”

“I don’t know. They come to me. But they are in this part of town and can send someone over fairly quickly. I’d recommend you get some sleep, and we can have someone be here first thing in the morning. Leave Donovan here, and we’ll help him get back to his group.”

“I agree. And I’d rather not involve Donovan in any of this if I can avoid it. He doesn’t need to know the details of the network.”

“Understood. Darlene may be a problem, though.”

“Donovan has been told that Karen was a fifth columnist, now dead,” Martin said, recalling his earlier conversation with Mike.

“The original Karen _is_ dead.” Paul remarked.

“But she wasn’t a columnist,” Martin reminded him.

“I’m told that the replacement no longer looks like Karen, so it doesn’t matter.”

Martin’s curiosity was piqued by that comment, but he didn’t inquire. He was simply too tired.

Paul stood and prodded Martin to his feet. “We’re a bit short on rooms right now, but if you don’t mind sharing with Mike, there is a cot in that room in addition to the bed.”

“Right now, I don’t care if the Leader himself is in there,” Martin admitted.

Paul retrieved a spare lens case and saline bottle from his desk and handed them over. “Come with me, sir.”

*****

After he had finished eating, Brandie led Mike back to Paul’s office. “Where’s Martin?” Mike asked, seeing that Paul was alone. He sat down in the nearest chair, leaving Brandie to lean on the door jamb.

Paul held up his hand for them to be quiet, and as he turned towards them, Mike saw he was holding something to his ear.

A moment later, Paul set the device down on his desk. Recognizing curiosity in Donovan’s expression, he explained, “I was just getting confirmation that one of the surface units is sending someone in the morning to take Martin to the main communications base. ”

“Don’t you know where it is?”

Paul shook his head. “We all try to keep from knowing more than we absolutely have to. It’s safer for everyone that way when someone gets caught. In answer to your first question, Martin is probably sleeping by now. There’s a bed ready for you, if you want to join him.”

Mike nodded and slowly got to his feet. “It’s been a long day.”

“After you get some sleep, we can discuss how we can best help you rejoin your group. Troop activity may increase for a few days, but they won’t be able to maintain that for very long. I realize the delay may be annoying, but-”

Mike cut him off. “You have to protect your own network, too. I understand.”

“I’ll show you where the room is on my way out,” Brandie said as she pushed herself away from the door jamb she had been leaning on.

“Be careful,” Paul told her as she turned to go.

She glanced over her shoulder. “Stacey’s staying in tonight. See you in awhile.”

“Where are you going?” Mike asked, momentarily forgetting her occupation.

Brandie playfully elbowed him. “Where do you think, silly? I’m a working girl and it’s time for me to earn my keep.”

Mike blushed and followed her down the hall.

Brandie opened the first door, then pointed to another room down the hall. “Bathroom is down there.” She peeked into the room, then moved back into the hall. “He’s sleeping, so I’ll leave the lights out. The bed’s to your left; Martin is on the cot to your right. There’s an extra blanket at the foot of the bed. I’ll leave the hall light on. You’ll get enough light under the door to see where you are going.”

Mike nodded, then kissed her forehead. “Thank you,” he whispered, before going in.

He closed the door and gave his eyes a minute to adjust to the darkness before moving towards the bed. Martin was lying on his back on the cot, still in full uniform. Mike could barely make out the outline of his laser pistol on the small table at the Visitor’s feet. A bottle and small case were beside it, presumably for his contact lenses. Suddenly, he was very glad the lights were out, so he didn’t have to see Martin’s real eyes. Knowing his friend was a Visitor and seeing it himself were two different things entirely.

He sat down on the bed and took off his shoes, jacket, and jeans before slipping under the covers. In the silence, he could hear Martin breathing and knew he was sleeping soundly.

The pillow under his head was flat and hard, but the accommodations were better here than on board the mothership. At least tonight, he had a hot meal in his stomach and could rest in the security that he wasn’t facing interrogation by Diana in the morning.

*****

Shortly after midnight, Mike was awakened by activity out in the hallway. He heard someone say they were going to get ice, and the sound of high heels in the corridor. Quickly pulling on pulled on his jeans and shoes, he glanced at Martin. The Visitor was sound asleep, oblivious to the commotion on the other side of the door. Mike opened the door and slipped into the hallway.

Brandie was striding down the hallway with a frozen gel pack and a hand towel. She seemed surprised to see him. “I’m sorry we woke you.”

“What’s going on?” Mike asked, walking alongside her to Paul’s office.

“Candy was beaten up.”

Brandie knelt by the chair where Candy was sitting. Paul was standing next to her, pressing a blood-soaked cloth against her forehead.

“I think you should call Ted,” Candy was saying. “I know this jerk was drunk, but it sounded legit. Ted’s group may have heard something. And if there _is_ a planned attack on Chinatown tonight, we might still have time to do something.”

Mike stood in the doorway and watched while Brandie replaced the cloth with the towel-wrapped ice pack, and caught a glimpse of the wounds. Candy’s left eye was swollen shut, and she had a nasty cut near her eyebrow.

“Did he say anything else?” Paul encouraged her as he picked up the communications unit.

“Nothing worth repeating,” Candy answered wryly. “But his language got even more colorful after I slugged him.”

“I don’t think you’re going to need stitches,” Brandie pronounced after a closer examination.

“He will,” Candy replied smugly. “Lots of them.”

They quieted while Paul talked softly into the unit. Mike knelt down next to the chair where Candy sat. “Does this happen often?” he whispered. Belatedly, he offered his hand. “Mike Donovan.”

“Hi,” Candy said. “No, not often.”

“Too often,” Paul contradicted, turning back to them. “Ted’s sending a group over. They just heard plans being relayed. It appears that Diana is having the troops be more careful about what is transmitted.”

“Then how did the turkey who hit you find out about it?” Mike asked the obvious question as he stood up.

“He’s part of the Visitor Friends group; he joined after being fired by the LAPD,” Candy replied.

“Sounds like a real charmer,” Donovan commented.

Brandie shook her head. “He’s not bad, usually. Get a few drinks into him and mutter a few flattering comments and he’ll talk all night about his ‘important duties.’ We get a lot of information that way.”

Paul retrieved two laser pistols from the desk and tossed one to Mike. “I assume you know how to use that?”

Donovan nodded.

“Good.” Paul turned to Brandie. “Call as many of the women back as you can in five minutes. We’re going to need them. Candy, for once don’t argue. Just stay here and rest,” Paul said, restraining her in her seat with a hand on her shoulder. “I’m going to go wake Martin. With any luck, we can get some of the families out before the troops arrive.”

*****

Martin was awake and had been fully briefed by the time Ted arrived with Damian, Drew, and Blaine. Introductions to Mike and the fifth column leader were quickly made as they all filed outside to the cars. Mike stuck close to Martin and was somewhat surprised when Ted and Paul deferred to the officer for approval of their plans. For the first time, he got a sense of the high regard the Visitors all had for their commander. The fact that he was the only Visitor in uniform only added to his stature.

Paul joined Martin and Mike in the first car, but ordered Darlene into another vehicle, which made room for Ted and Brandie. They left the others to sort out their own seating arrangements and got underway.

“What’s the plan?” Donovan asked, breaking the silence. Everyone else acted like they had done this many times before. Even Martin. Had he missed a planning meeting, Mike wondered?

Brandie directed Paul to make a turn, then shifted in her seat so she could look back at the other human in the car. “Basically, we go banging on doors and get as many people out before the raid as we can. There’s no way we’ll evacuate all of Chinatown, especially with so little notice. But every person we move into a safe-house is one fewer person taken to the mothership.”

“How are we going to get them to safe-houses? We don’t exactly have buses ready,” Mike persisted.

“You can’t expect a girl to give away all her secrets!” Brandie teased. She grew serious again. “Turn left at the next light,” she instructed Paul before giving Donovan her attention once again. “At first, we just try to get them out of the area. If it means breaking into a building or hiding in a basement until the troops leave, so be it. We keep the civilians quiet and out of the way, while Paul and the others stand guard. When the immediate danger has passed, we start shuttling them to the safehouses. Some of our customers are actually contacts. And we have a network of helpers that provide displaced citizens with shelter. It’s a lot like Germany in World War II; only the names of the players have changed.”

*****

They parked a few blocks from the targeted area and followed Brandie and the other women through the shadowed streets to Chinatown. On the way, Paul and Martin watched for possible hiding places to which to usher the humans. Donovan, following directly behind them, saw the two exchange a worried look and break into a run. “What?”

“Shuttles approaching,” Martin called over his shoulder as they reached the edge of the famous community.

Short on time, the group split into three fragments and broke through the locked doors of the buildings. Martin’s uniform evoked terrified screams, quieted only when they drew their weapons and demanded silence. “We don’t have time to explain. If treating them like prisoners gets them out safely, we’ll do it,” Martin barked at Mike when Donovan began to protest the Visitors’ methods.

Resigned, Mike helped spirit a frightened family of three generations into the street. The eldest man spoke no English and walked with a cane. Donovan forced himself to be patient as he took the man by the arm and hurried him down the steps and into the street.

“What’s happening? Who are you?” the young mother of three asked as she followed her father. On her hip she carried her son, leaving her husband to take each of their two daughters by the hand and guide them to the street.

“A raid on your neighborhood. Hurry!” Paul answered, as he and Martin brought up the rear.

Donovan saw shuttles fly overhead and land at the edges of the district, cutting off their escape. He ran ahead and checked an alley. “Martin,” he called as he dashed back to the main street where the two other groups were joining them. “This way. Quickly!”

Donovan used the tip of his laser pistol as a tool to pry the manhole cover up. Martin recognized what he was trying to do and helped him slide the heavy metal plate aside. While the fifth columnists and prostitutes herded the frightened residents to the manhole, Martin and Donovan helped lower them to relative safety. Blaine and Ted stayed at the end of the alley, watching the street.

Finally, the families were all underground. The prostitutes came next. Last in line, Brandie pulled a flashlight from her skimpy shirt and turned it on.

“Donovan, go!” Martin ordered, then called to Ted.

Mike dropped from the ladder and called for Paul, who likewise jumped down.

“Sir!” Paul urged.

Martin hesitated, looking towards the street, then reluctantly climbed onto the ladder. He called once more to Ted and Blaine, urging them to safety.

“There’s no time!” Ted called back. “Go! We’ll cover you!”

Mike could tell Martin was watching the street, and wondered what he was waiting for. In the confusion, he had not noticed the two columnists guarding their retreat. He hauled himself up the ladder, hanging off the side so the Visitor still had room to brace himself on the rungs.

Martin saw Blaine go down, killed instantly by an approaching soldier. Ted fired in retaliation, and was hit in the chest for his efforts. Martin couldn’t tell if he was still alive or not. He waited at the top of the ladder, his own firearm ready. Wondering. Hoping.

Too weak to resist the hands that dragged him away, Ted was still conscious enough to realize the threat he posed to the network. He searched the shadows, knowing Martin was watching, agonizing, wondering if he was still alive. It was a position he himself had been in before, and the outcome was always the same. Somehow, in the gloom, his eyes fastened on Martin. He forced his head up and made himself look Martin in the eye, knowing what was coming. He was resigned, thankful almost, that it was over.

Martin stared back him over the sights of his weapon. The sounds of the frightened humans being herded into the shuttles faded from Martin’s awareness as his eyes met Ted’s. Gazes locked, Martin fired. He saw Ted’s form collapse. His head lolled to the side; the eyes were open and unseeing. Despondent, Martin forced himself to distance his mind from his emotions. Seemingly implacably, Martin moved to a lower rung of the ladder so he and Donovan could slide the heavy cover into place above them.

Martin’s personality was totally submerged, and the coldness alarmed Mike more than the remaining troops over their heads. He still clung to the rungs and listened to the muffled sounds of the round-up. Wary of making noise, he put his hand on Martin’s shoulder, only to have it shrugged away without so much as a glance from the Visitor. The dim light from Brandie’s flashlight did little to illuminate Martin’s features before Brandie turned it out. What had happened in those last few seconds out there?

Donovan stayed with him for a time, then gave up and climbed down to join the others in the cramped passage. Somewhere in the darkness, a child whimpered and was quickly hushed. He could hear their breathing, the slight shifting in position, as they huddled in the damp confines of their hiding place and waited.

At long last, Martin pushed at the manhole cover and slowly slid it aside. Brandie turned her light back on, and two Visitors whose names Mike still couldn’t remember moved to provide back-up. A terrifying silence settled over all of them.

Apparently satisfied with what he saw and, more importantly, what he didn’t see, Martin broke the silence. “Ted and Blaine are dead.”

The words rippled through the group, leaving shards of silence in its wake. Paul cursed softly and Mike saw Brandie cover her mouth with her hand, holding back tears as another Visitor put an arm around her. Mike felt a stab of grief when he realized that the Visitor who had ridden in the car with him, their shoulders pressed together in the confines of the back seat, was now dead. Above them, Martin shoved the manhole cover out of the way and climbed out.

Somberly, Martin assisted Paul and Damian to the street. “Wait here,” Martin ordered as the trio moved the cover back into place. He didn’t wait for a response.

They spread out and slowly made their way to the end of the alley. The bodies of their friends were gone, testament to the thoroughness of the Leader’s troops. Where hours before families had lived their lives, only empty buildings remained.

“Hardly any resistance,” Paul commented as they surveyed the area. “They’re winning. There aren’t enough of us to stop them.”

“All we can do is keep trying,” Damian said with a resolve he did not yet feel.

Martin turned back to the alley and strode towards the manhole. “Let’s get this over with.”


	10. The Matchmaker

When they were all on the street again, Martin discretely counted heads, all the while avoiding Donovan’s probing gaze. Seventeen humans, their lives purchased with the blood of two columnists. The only comfort was the dawning gratitude of their former “prisoners.” Language and cultural barriers were giving way to understanding of what the intruders had done. Mike heard a mixture of Chinese and English being spoken by their frightened charges.

The elderly man Donovan had forced to march from his bedroom made his way over to Martin. His steps were slow, and he leaned heavily on his cane. When he reached Martin, he clasped his hands together and bent forward at the waist. Martin imitated the gesture and then took the man’s wrinkled hands in his own. Their eyes met, then the man turned to a younger woman, presumably a daughter or daughter-in-law. The elder spoke, then waited for his words to be translated for the Visitor.

“On behalf of our people, my father thanks you. You will always be welcome in our home. You brought honor to your family names today.”

“He honors me with his words,” Martin replied solemnly before turning to the immediate matters at hand. “You can’t stay here.”

“Where can we go?” the daughter asked.

Paul stepped forward, greatly relieved that Darlene had stayed silent. “We’ve got that taken care of.”

Brandie broke in, impatient at the delays. “If any of you have any medicines or stuff you have to have, get it now, and get it fast. Clothes and food stay here. We’ll take care of that.”

The adults in the group of seventeen broke into discussion for a moment, then quieted. The daughter, apparently now the designated spokesperson, shook her head. “We have our lives. That is all we need.”

Paul nodded and stepped back, allowing Brandie to direct the evacuation. He went over to consult privately with Damian. “The women and I can handle it from here. Take Martin and get out of here. He’s short on sleep and needs to rest.” His eyes spoke of the grief they all felt at Ted and Blaine’s deaths. “We’ll see that Donovan gets back to his people.”

Damian nodded, gesturing for Martin and Drew to follow him.

Martin gave Damian a look of acknowledgment and then sought out Mike in the crowd. “I’ll meet with you in a week, same place and time as usual. If you need to contact me before then, you can go through Paul.”

“Taking off?” Donovan asked, trying to hide his concern.

The Visitor nodded.

“I’m sorry about Ted and Blaine,” Mike added, briefly grasping the Visitor’s shoulder.

Martin nodded again, then walked after Damian without further conversation.

*****

The drive back to the soundstage was somber. Philip was on guard duty and gave Damian a concerned look as he moved to open the door so the car could be brought inside. Damian just shook his head sadly in response; no words were needed.

Philip secured the door and quickly joined them at the parked car. “What happened?”

“We ran out of time,” Damian said quietly as he vacated the driver’s seat. “Blaine and Ted were the only casualties, but we only got 17 people out.”

“Damn,” Philip swore softly and closed his eyes for a moment. “Try to get some sleep. I’ll take your shift,” he offered, then returned to his post.

Martin roused himself from his depression and forced himself to get out of the car. He looked around, but none of what he saw registered in his mind. He was beyond exhaustion.

“Sir?” Damian’s voice summoned his attention. Martin forced himself to concentrate. It took even more effort to focus his eyes on Damian’s face. Damian took his arm. “I know you’re tired, but I think we should tell Kim you’re here. Drew, get some rest. I’ll inform the others.”

Kim? Martin had forgotten all about her. He didn’t want to do anything now but sleep. But he was too tired to articulate the thought, and allowed Damian to guide him past the shuttle where Drew was walking up the ramp, past the partition to where Kim slept.

“Kim, wake up,” Damian said quietly, kneeling next to the bed.

Kim opened her eyes, saw Martin, and sat up, stunned. “I certainly didn’t expect to see you here,” she exclaimed softly, in deference to the hour. Martin looked blankly at her, and she smiled at him. “Go ahead, you can say it.”

“Say what?” Martin responded automatically.

She focused on a distant spot and parroted back all of the comments she had been hearing for far too long. “Kim, you look awful. Kim, you’ve lost weight. Kim, are you eating enough? Kim, you need to rest. Kim, you look pale. Kim, you have dark circles under your eyes.” Her eyes met his and she smiled at him. “Did I leave any out?”

Martin nodded, recognizing her attempt to make light of her health. “It’s good to see you.” A small part of his mind noted he was finally seeing her real face, that this "stranger" was really Karen, but he was too tired to comment on that fact.

Something in his lifeless tone raised an alarm. She looked back at Damian and realized that he was equally somber. “Tell me,” she demanded, taking Damian’s hand in her own.

Damian looked down at the floor. “Ted and Blaine were killed.”

Kim’s face contorted in grief while she waited for him to continue.

“They held off the troops while we got some humans to safety. There just wasn’t enough time....”

Kim pressed her forehead to his, then forced her own emotions under control. “What’s our status?”

“We already told Philip- he’s covering guard duty for me. I sent Drew to bed.”

Kim squeezed his hand and reached for her robe. “Get some sleep. I’ll take care of telling the others.”

He nodded gratefully and excused himself.

“Lie down and stay there,” Kim ordered Martin, pointing to the bed. “You look like hell and I’ll brook no argument.”

Mutely, he obeyed her. He was too tired to consider going to the shuttle, too tired to worry about his contacts, too tired to think, even. He stretched out on the bed, trusting that Kim would do whatever needed to be done.

*****

Kim went to Anthony, who had been monitoring the radio. He left his post to break the news to Jackie and Alan, while Kim went to tell Megan. As Philip had with Damian, Megan offered to continue her guard duty shift through the night, so that Drew and Martin could sleep. It was decided that Alan, given his close friendship with Blaine, would be given the night off.

When that was accomplished, Kim gathered contact lens supplies and went back to Martin. He was sprawled on top of the covers, still in full uniform.

Placing her burden on a crate, she pulled his boots off and removed his laser pistol from his leg holster. “Martin, wake up,” she demanded, shaking his shoulder.

He cracked his eyes open at her.

“You need to take out your contacts,” she explained, hauling him to a sitting position and pressing a lens case into his hands. “Are you hungry?”

Martin shook his head wearily as he eased the lenses from his eyes, then handed the case back to Kim.

“Not so fast,” she protested when he tried to lie down again. Holding him upright with one hand, she unfastened his uniform and helped him remove it. It was like undressing limp pasta, for all the help he provided. In all her weeks on the ship, she had never seen him so tired.

With some coaxing, he stood and let her pull the lower half of his uniform from his body before he collapsed back onto the bed. She barely had time to pull the covers back before he flopped again onto the mattress, leaving her to get him situated lengthwise, rather than at the diagonal he had accomplished on his own. Finally, she pulled the covers up over him and moved around to the other side of the bed. Discarding her robe onto the floor, she lay down beside him and moved up against him to share her body heat.

Only then did she let her thoughts turn back to Ted and Blaine, and the tears came.

*****

When Kim woke the next morning, Martin was pressed tightly against her with an arm around her, holding her to him. Needing to use the bathroom, she tried to slip out of bed, to no avail. She had to elbow him a few times before he finally stirred and rolled over, freeing her to get up.

Jackie was sitting by herself on the couch, reading a magazine. Kim noticed her eyes were puffy and bloodshot; most likely she had been up most of the night crying. A part of her wanted to comfort Jackie, but she herself was too tired and emotionally drained to be much use. Kim decided it was better to leave Jackie alone for the moment and walked past without saying anything.

*****

Martin rolled over and woke up when his subconscious realized something had changed. Groggy from sleep, he noted that the mattress under his hand was warm. Kim must have vacated the spot in the past few minutes, and he concluded that it was her departure or absence that had wakened him. He was still trying to decide if he was rested enough to get up when he heard voices nearby.

“Spreading yourself a little thin, aren’t you? Dessert herself delivering breakfast?” Jackie asked when Kim walked past again, carrying a small package of boneless chicken breasts.

“I’m not going to dignify that with a response.”

“So you’re just human enough to be indignant. I suppose you expect me to find that comforting.”

Kim openly gaped at her friend. “We are not having this conversation,” she finally said, then turned away and headed towards her bed behind the partition.

“So that’s how it is, is it? Two friends get killed and you pretend it never happened?”

Kim spun on her heel, anger overriding her self-control. “Don’t you _dare_ imply I don’t care about what happened to Ted and Blaine last night. Frankly, I preferred them to you these past weeks. Unlike you, they didn’t sit around feeling sorry for themselves all the time.”

Kim advanced on Jackie, giving voice to the frustrations she had held inside for too long. “And not once were they mean to me. Not once did they deliberately try to hurt me. Even Darlene has the decency to be honest, while you claim to be my friend and strike out at every opportunity. You can blame me all you want to, but deep down, you know that I am _not_ responsible for what happened to you on the mothership. Don’t make me regret intervening before they killed you.” With that, she turned and stormed her way back to bed.

Martin was awake, and he sat up with concern as she whipped back the covers and flung herself down onto the mattress.

Kim used Sirian, knowing Jackie was listening. “As you can see, she and I are getting along really well these days,” she said sarcastically as she tore into the package of chicken. “Things had been getting better, but this morning.... Here. Breakfast.” She held out the styrofoam tray of meat. “Your other choice is ground beef.” She wolfed down another piece of meat, then curled up next to him. “Welcome to the surface.”

“You’re still eating our food?” Martin asked quietly, also using Sirian. He saw the dark skin peeking through the collar of her shirt and eased the fabric away, confirming his suspicion.

“Cute, huh?” Kim replied softly, running her hands through her hair while she gazed at the ceiling. “Raw meat is the only food I want --when I’m not nauseated, that is.”

Martin studied her fatigued, pale face and couldn’t help himself. “Are you all right?”

Kim shrugged. “As well as can be expected. And I’ve been coddled and pampered to within an inch of my life. I can’t so much as breathe without someone checking to see if I need help.”

He nodded his silent approval of the care she was getting from the others. “What time is it?” he asked, lacking the energy to get up and look for his chronometer. He assumed Kim had taken it from his wrist last evening; he had a hazy recollection of her helping him remove his uniform before he collapsed into bed.

“It’s still early,” Kim answered with a yawn. “The others have guard duty covered so there’s no need to get up just yet. You still look tired.”

“I am,” he admitted as he placed the empty chicken wrapper on the crate near the bed, then lay back down beside her. A part of his mind argued that this couldn’t be the same woman he had known on the ship. She looked different and her body was warm and yet... she had the same indifference to rank and protocol “Karen” had shown. He had grown accustomed to the respectful distance most of his colleagues kept, and Kim’s disregard for his impressive military record had been one of her more refreshing traits.

As she so often had on the ship, Kim put her head on his shoulder once he lay down. She wasn’t sure how to act around him now that they were on the surface, far away from hidden cameras that watched their every move. Yet he hadn’t objected to sleeping in her bed, and he hadn’t pulled away just now, when she had snuggled up against him, she reflected. Maybe it was best to treat him the same way she always had on the ship, unless he indicated otherwise.

*****

When Jackie looked in on them later, she found Martin sleeping with his arm around Kim, and her fingers were resting on his wrist. It reminded her of the early days of her own failed marriage to Justin’s father, when she’d slept every night in her husband’s arms. The torrent of emotions that memory provoked drove her back to the couch, where she could sob herself to sleep.

*****

“I’m surprised you’re still here,” Martin told Kim when he woke later. She was lying in bed reading. “While I appreciate your warmth, it wasn’t necessary,” he added when she set the book aside and turned her attention to him.

“I have to lie down as much as possible. May as well be here as out there on the couch,” Kim explained. Seeing his concern, she continued, “I’ve been bleeding some, and I can’t exactly go to the hospital.”

“How serious is it?”

“It’s hard to say.” Kim chewed on her lower lip, considering how much to tell him, before deciding on total disclosure. “Twins always add to the risk of complications.”

“Twins?” Martin mouthed the word back at her.

She nodded. “The tendency runs in my family, so it’s possible Diana had nothing to do with that surprise.” She saw the haunted look in his eyes and put her hand on his cheek. “Don’t forget you’re on Earth now. Assuming they live, they are not going to get shipped off to a laboratory somewhere to be raised by strangers. Jackie’s already promised to take care of them if I don’t survive. They won’t grow up the way you and your brother did.”

He was surprised she knew about his brother, but didn’t want to talk about him. “How much longer will it be?” The band on her neck only went about three-quarters of the way around, but it shouldn’t have been there at all.

“I don’t know. Labor could start really anytime now, or not for several more weeks.”

“Tell me what you did after you left the ship,” he asked, changing the subject. He had often wondered where she was and what she was doing in the weeks following her departure. And though he knew he should get up and start learning the details of the surface units’ activities, he didn’t want this time with Kim to end just yet.

While she talked, he continued to hold her, savoring her company. She told him everything and finished with a description of the individuals she had been living with, including Ted and Blaine. “Not so fast,” she chided when he moved to get up. “You haven’t told me about what you’ve been doing since I left the ship. You can grill Megan later on the latest troop movements. What did Donovan do this time?”

That evoked a smile, and he lay back down beside her. “He told Diana he had blue hair.”

*****

After Martin got up and went in search of more food, Kim got dressed and wandered out to where Jackie was. She was braced for another confrontation, though she couldn’t think of any way to avoid it.

“Kim, I’m sorry...” Jackie apologized as soon as Kim came into view, then broke down crying again. “I don’t know why I say half the things I do anymore.”

Kim sat down next to her on the couch and pulled Jackie to her shoulder. “Because you’re having a tough time. Kind of makes you long for the good old days, hmm? Back when life was simple?”

“Simple?”

“Simple. Like it was after Ham dumped you and you found out you were pregnant with Jeremy.”

“God, don’t remind me!” Jackie managed a laugh in spite of herself. “Why is my life always such a mess?”

“Because you know me. Haven’t you learned by now that anyone who knows me gets all the surplus craziness from my life infused into their own?” Kim lowered her voice so only Jackie could hear her. “Just ask Martin, he could tell you.”

That provoked more hysterical giggling from Jackie. The weak attempt at humor somehow bandaged over wounds that had festered between them for too long, leaving them both with the private perception that things would be better from now on.

*****

Jackie finally excused herself to go get some sleep and Kim lay down on the couch to read. She was soon joined by Martin, who had been given Ted’s data pads, which detailed all of the group’s activities and relevant radio messages. While Kim read her book, Martin studied the logs, adding the information to the briefing Kim had given him.

Drew took over radio duty for Megan, and guard duty switched to Alan and Anthony, so the rest of them could talk to Martin. Damian took a seat on the couch, letting Kim rest her head on his lap. He’d barely gotten settled before Philip sat down at the other end, threatening to tickle Kim’s stocking feet if she didn’t let him sit down. Megan claimed the chair next to Martin. Jackie, apparently giving up sleep, joined them at the last minute. She sat down in the chair nearest Philip and took his hand, forgiving him at last for his deception.

Martin first told them what had happened the previous night, as he had been the only one who had seen Blaine and Ted meet their premature deaths. Conversation quickly moved to the status of the fifth column on the mothership, and a condensed version of how he and Donovan had escaped.

“That’s the end of the good news,” Megan commented when Martin had finished. “There’s been a lot of talk on the radio the last half hour. From what I can tell, Pamela has taken over command of the ship and restricted Diana to working on the scientific aspects of the mission only.”

“So much for that advantage.” Martin leaned back in his seat and folded his arms. “We need to think of a way to get rid of Pamela. She’s far too efficient at what she does, and has authority over all the ships here. Ideally, we need a way to get Diana into Pamela’s position.”

 “Diana might take care of that problem for us,” Kim remarked dryly.

Damian agreed. “I can’t imagine her giving up command without a fight.”

“Excuse me, but when did this become the Diana fan club?” Jackie broke in.

Martin smiled at her description. “Diana is inexperienced, quick tempered, and easily manipulated,” Martin explained. “If John were more than an incompetent figurehead, he would have relieved her of command a long time ago. Pamela, in comparison, is Diana’s opposite in every way. Based on her record, she should have been promoted to Supreme Commander by now.”

“Which is why you didn’t let that happen,” Kim added, evoking a nod from Martin.

“Huh? They outrank you. How can you control what happens to them?” Jackie asked, growing more confused by the moment.

“I called in some favors,” Martin admitted, not adding that some of those favors had resulted in his own apparent demotion.

“Lorraine could approach Diana privately and offer her support,” Damian suggested, getting back to the matter at hand.

Philip nodded. “Lorraine’s in a position to keep Diana briefed on command-line decisions, which would make Diana think she has an ally she can count on.”

“Good idea,” Martin agreed. “But we can’t approach Lorraine directly. Her situation is precarious enough without us adding to her risks. We could go through Kendall. He has access to her, and is frequently on the surface.”

“What about Steven? Is there some way we can use his contempt for Diana to our advantage?” Kim asked. “I know you tried to get Diana to suspect he was fifth column,” she continued, looking at Martin. “But I imagine she’s examined your advice in a new light.”

Martin nodded in agreement. “Unfortunately. And from the rumors I’ve been hearing, he and Pamela have an ‘understanding’ about their mutual dislike of Diana.”

“‘Understanding?’ I’ll bet I know what kind of an understanding that is,” Jackie said under her breath.

“What about Brian?” Megan asked.

“Brian?” Jackie whispered to Philip, not recognizing the name. He leaned over and explained that Brian was the leader of the Visitor Friends organization on the surface, which recruited humans into the fleet as honorary members.

Kim nodded, looking at Martin. “We know Diana’s got him all wrapped up. Lorraine might be able to manipulate him to our advantage. He struck me as being a lot more naive than Steven.”

“Do you want me to have Paul get a message to Kendall?” Megan asked. “It may take a day or so for him to get through, which gives us more time to plan.”

“Please do,” Martin said. “But until Lorraine can tell us what Diana’s next move is likely to be, there isn’t much we can do.”

Jackie looked down at the floor, trying to hide her despair. “That’s a nice way of saying we’re losing, isn’t it?”

“We’ve been losing from day one,” Kim interjected. “It’s amazing we’ve held as much ground as we have, so in that sense, we’re winning just by being alive.”

Jackie looked at her blandly. “You call this living?”

“It’s better than the alternatives,” Philip reminded her.

Jackie turned her attention to Martin, sensing he would be honest with her. “Do we even have a chance?”

“I wouldn’t be here if I thought it was hopeless.”

*****

After the informal meeting broke up, Philip stayed with Kim on the couch. He watched her eyes follow Martin until he went outside to relieve Alan from guard duty. “You okay?” Philip asked, nudging her foot.

Her gaze snapped back from the doorway to look at him. “Hmm?” She smiled wanly, realizing he had asked how she was. “I’m okay.” When even that answer didn’t satisfy him, she continued, finally divulging what was on her mind. “I keep waiting for one of them to walk in. Just yesterday, Ted and I were playing chess. Today...”

“It’s hard,” Philip agreed. “But there is more bothering you than that.”

“Know me that well, do you?” Kim half-joked. “I miss my mom.”

“She’s been dead for a long time.” He was somewhat confused as to why she would miss her mother now.

“I know, and it never gets easier. We were very close. And now is one of those times when I really wish she were still alive so she could be here. Judy is wonderful, but she can’t take the place of my mother.”

When he saw her eyes tearing up, Philip got up and carried her to her bed. Lying down next to her, he held her and let her cry.

“I’m so scared,” she admitted in a tearful whisper. “I don’t want my children to die.”

“Even though you didn’t want to get pregnant?”

“It doesn’t matter. I’ve wanted children for a long time...I don’t know what I’ll do if they die.”

Philip didn’t have an answer for that, so he just held her and stroked her hair until she finally fell asleep.

*****

While he was on radio duty, Damian kept himself entertained by trying to whittle down the list of potential names for Kim’s children. Over the past week or so, it had become a pastime for everyone to work on the list while monitoring communications, a duty even Jackie had taken an occasional turn at. The list of girl’s names had been pared to seven, while the boys were a more problematic nine, and that was excluding combinations of first and middle names.

Damian looked at the scratched-out names and reordered lists that filled the front pages of the notebook. The end of each shift seemed to bring at least one change to the naming scheme. And Damian hadn’t been much help, having suggested additional possibilities long after the others had begun the work of eliminating names that didn’t strike their fancy. The last few pages seemed to be a rehashing of everyone’s preferences, rather than forward progress. Damian smiled to himself and decided it was time someone showed Martin how to work the eclectic equipment so he could take his turn at the radio.

The decoder crackled to life and Damian’s attention immediately turned to the recorder, which had come on automatically. The message was brief and somber, confirming the rumors of Pamela’s orders regarding Diana.

Damian went to the door and saw Alan sitting on the couch. “Alan, where’s Martin?” When Alan turned, he continued, “We just got a coded message confirming Diana’s been removed from command.”

Alan nodded his understanding and got up immediately. “I’ll tell him.”

*****

Martin appeared in the doorway a few minutes later. “Was there anything else in the message?”

Damian shook his head and motioned Martin to the extra chair. “But you can listen to it if you want to. We record all of the coded messages for playback, since some of them are lengthy.” He flipped a few switches and the brief message repeated itself.

“This is an... interesting setup,” Martin said as he regarded the tangle of wires.

“That’s one way to describe it. But it works,” Damian replied before launching into a brief description of how to operate the various components that had been patched together with an equal mixture of skill and luck.

“I’ll take over here, if you want. I know you’ve all been pulling extra duty since last night,” Martin offered.

They shared a somber look before Damian tapped his pencil on the last entry in the notebook and tried to hide his smugness. “You need to know about this, too. Mandatory duty while listening to the radio.”

“What is it?”

“A list of possible names for the babies. We’ve gotten it down to the last few, but there has been considerable debate over what the final choices should be. The only rules you need to know are written out on the first page. And by the way, Andrew’s middle name was Lawrence, and Kim’s mother was named Amanda. We’ve tried to keep them as middle names, even though Kim insists it isn’t necessary.”

Damian got up and quickly excused himself. He didn’t want to give Martin any opportunity to back out of participating. They _were_ his children, so he had more right than any of them to help Kim decide.

Martin seated himself at the desk and turned to the first page in the notebook. He skimmed over the guidelines Kim had given, which seemed simple enough. As he looked through the subsequent pages, though, he realized that the sheer number of options made the task of choosing names monumental. Many pages had comments written in the margins, explaining why the name had been crossed out. The different styles of handwriting indicated the process had incited a lively debate. Some of the comments alluded to the meaning of particular names, which made Martin wonder where the other Visitors had obtained their information.

He scanned the room and noticed a paperback book on the shelf over the desk. Upon examining it, he quickly realized it was the source book for the names. Armed with that information, Martin turned to the last entry and looked up each name on the lists. From what he had seen in the notebook, it was time for someone to make a final decision.

He didn’t know what Kim planned to do after the war, or if she even wanted him to help raise the children. A part of him was afraid to ask; either answer brought complications. But this was an opportunity to be involved, at least indirectly, and he wasn’t going to waste the chance.

Memories of whispered conversations in his quarters flooded his mind. How could he be so fond of a human he barely knew? Reflecting on that, he realized he regarded Mike Donovan as a close friend as well. It was strange, since he knew even less about Mike than he did about Kim. Yet with each of them, there was a deep connection, a feeling of camaraderie he had never felt before, even with his brother.

When he thought about it, it occurred to him that the whole situation was absurd; he didn’t know much at all about social relationships between humans. He had no idea what, if anything, Kim and Mike expected from him. All he knew was that both humans were important to him, in a way he couldn’t explain even to himself.

Forcing his attention back to the task before him, he crossed out two names. He toyed with the remaining possibilities and combinations of them for several hours, then wrote the final list on a fresh page.

*****

Alan took over in the early hours of the morning and found the notebook closed and on the shelf. Curious, he turned to the last entry. There, in neatly written block letters, Martin had listed the names the children would be given.

 

_Boys_

  1. _Jeffrey Lawrence_
  2. _Timothy Andrew_



_Girls_

  1. _Katherine Amanda_
  2. _Kayla Renee_



_*****_

Kim woke before dawn with a restless feeling in her legs. No matter how she tried, she couldn’t get comfortable, and her thrashing was bound to wake Philip if she didn’t get out of bed. Resigned to another night of too little sleep, she got up and pulled on her clothes. Taking a box of crackers from the crate by the bed, she wandered out to the couch and felt a dull ache radiate across her lower back before fading.

Was she having contractions? It would explain her antsy mood. It could also mean this was the last day of her life. Sobered by that thought, she ventured into the radio room. “Could I borrow the notebook for awhile?” she asked Alan in the most casual tone she could manage.

“You’re up early,” he commented as he retrieved the book from the shelf. He handed it to her and noticed how unwell she looked. “What’s wrong?”

Kim sank down in the extra chair and leaned back, placing the notebook on the desk. Maybe Alan would help her make the final decisions on the names and keep her distracted. She rested her elbow on the edge of the desk, and leaned her head against her hand before answering. “I think I’m having contractions.”

“How long until you’re sure?”

Kim looked away from his worried eyes and shrugged her shoulders. “A few hours. Maybe sooner. In the meantime, I figured it was time to make the final decisions on their names.”

“Martin already did.”

Surprised, Kim turned to the last entry. Seeing the firmly penned letters, she smiled her approval, pleased that Martin had been involved. “So much for keeping busy that way.”

“Can’t you sleep any more?” Kim looked exhausted and Alan couldn’t help but worry about her.

She shook her head and answered, “I’m too keyed up.” Another pain washed over her, much stronger than the earlier one. She closed her eyes and tried to take deep, even breaths; unconsciously, her left hand went to her abdomen.

Alan took her other hand. “Contraction?”

Kim nodded, unable to speak. He held her hand gently while they waited for it to pass. Finally, she exhaled sharply. “Labor has definitely started.” She tipped her head back, and leaned it against the wall. “God, I hope there aren’t many like that one.”

*****

For the next couple of hours she stayed with Alan, alternating between pacing in the cramped room and leaning against him when another contraction gripped her. Privately grateful to have anything break the monotony of his shift, Alan managed to keep monitoring the radio while he conversed with Kim and timed her contractions. It was shortly after dawn when Kim told him it was time to wake Jackie.


	11. Bad to Worse

As soon as Jackie was alerted, the soundstage began to bustle with activity. Alan offered to stay on duty for the duration of the delivery, to allow the more qualified individuals to aid Kim. Likewise, Drew and Damian took over guard duty. As much as Damian wanted to be there with Kim, he felt it was more important for Philip and Martin to be with her. Megan and Anthony were the most qualified to help Jackie, and that didn’t leave anyone else to stand guard. Kim was only dimly aware of all of this as she was guided back to her bed.

Though she was the center of attention, she didn’t have the energy to enjoy it. Her labor was progressing quickly, and the contractions seemed relentless, to the point Kim couldn’t tell when one ended and the next began. Martin somehow ended up being the one to help her keep her breathing regular. In the back of her mind, she wondered if he had been selected for the position due to his vast martial arts experience. She didn’t really have time to ponder the question too much though. It seemed to her she had no sooner been settled on the bed than her water broke. Someone had laid several alternating layers of towels and garbage bags down to protect the mattress and the damp layers were quickly whisked away.

“Don’t push yet, even if you feel the urge,” Jackie cautioned as she placed a hand on Kim’s knee.

“Basin,” Kim whispered in response as a wave of nausea swept over her. Was that Philip holding her head as she surrendered the contents of her stomach? She felt a cool cloth wipe her forehead and then her mouth as she lay back in the bed. Yes, it was Philip positioned to her left. Martin still had her right hand, and was quietly telling her when and how to breathe. “Had enough of this crap,” she muttered drowsily as she fought the urge to push.

“I know, but it won’t be long now,” Jackie reminded her. It made her remember the day Jeremy had been born, when she and Kim had been in reverse roles. “Besides, you’re getting off easy. Remember how long I was in labor with Jeremy?”

Kim nodded, though she didn’t really hear the question. Her awareness was totally focused on breathing and enduring the pain. Nor did she see Jackie step away, gesturing Anthony and Megan to her side.

“This is going _really_ fast,” Jackie told them quietly. “Alan said she was only with him for a couple of hours and she was sleeping before that.”

“Do you think there is a problem?” Megan asked. “While this is rapid now, it’s not much faster than with other women I’ve known.”

Jackie shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know what’s normal in this case. But I have never met anyone before who got that lucky.”

“All we can do is deal with this situation as it progresses,” Anthony reminded her, speaking for the first time.

“She’s already pushing,” Jackie said, looking back at Kim. “I pray to God we’re all ready for this, because we just ran out of time.”

Hiding her own anxiety, Jackie took command of the situation. “Help her up to a squatting position,” she ordered.

Philip and Martin immediately complied, pulling Kim’s arms over their own shoulders while they braced their own arms across her back.

“Okay, Kim,” Jackie coaxed. “Just go with it.”

Kim nodded, wanting to ask sarcastically if she actually had any other choice. There was no time for sarcasm though, since the first baby was crowning.

“You’re doing fine,” Jackie said reassuringly, though she could feel her own hands shaking. “Be ready with a blanket, Megan.”

*****

After a few long minutes, when time seemed to slow, Jackie held Kim’s first child in her arms. “Say hello to your daughter.” She nodded to Martin and Philip and they helped Kim lie down while Jackie placed the infant on Kim’s stomach, as high up as the umbilical cord would allow. It was hard to tell the exact hue of the girl’s skin, given the amount of green blood, but on initial inspection she looked rather human. A vestigial crest went down the center of her skull, surrounded by a downy crown of brown hair. When it grew longer, Jackie surmised that the crest would be completely hidden from view.

Kim had no such concerns, and was simply relieved to hear the child breathing. Katherine didn’t cry, and seemed to be surprisingly matter-of-fact about her entrance to the world. Kim smiled to herself as the baby gazed back at her with Martin’s eyes. Tiny fingers that ended in talons held Kim’s own finger in a strong grip. The months of worry had been for naught, since the baby was obviously healthy and well-formed.

No one spoke as they watched Kim embrace the child. Mere words could not express what each of them was feeling.

Jackie busied herself cutting the umbilical cord while trying to present a calm demeanor. Inside, she was relieved it was almost over, thrilled it had gone so well, and terrified something was going to go wrong in the next few minutes. And as fast as Kim’s labor had gone, she knew that this brief reprieve would be over much too soon.

*****

As Jackie had predicted, the contractions started again before Kim had even really had a chance to catch her breath. As before, Martin and Philip helped support Kim’s back as she strained to push.

“Kim, stop pushing,” Jackie ordered in a voice that barely covered her panic. One small foot was visible.

“What’s wrong?” Kim managed to gasp as she fought the instincts that ruled this stage of delivery.

“The child is breech, foot first, and I only see one foot.” Jackie admitted, exchanging a worried look with Megan and Anthony.

“Cesarean,” Kim whispered as she laid back on the mattress and closed her eyes.

“We don’t have an anesthetic! I won’t torture you like that.”

“Then wait until I’m dead.” Kim fought to keep talking while her body screamed for action. “It’s the only way. Give the child a chance.”

“No!”

“It’s too late for me. Save the child!” Kim gasped. She couldn’t say any more; it took all of her energy to resist the urges to push.

“What’s a Cesarean?” Martin finally asked. Jackie explained, confirming his suspicions. He looked at Kim, and her eyes pleaded with him. “Do it.”

“But I....” Jackie started to protest, but Martin cut her off.

“Just give me a few minutes alone with her first.” Finally, he looked away from Kim and turned to Anthony. “She’ll need your help,” he said, meaning Jackie.

Anthony responded with a word Jackie couldn’t hope to pronounce, and she saw Martin nod, then slide Kim to the edge of the bed. Ignoring everyone, Martin sat down on one of the crates and positioned himself so he was facing the head of the bed. He pressed his thumbs against her temples. “Kim, I want you to listen to me and ignore everything else,” Jackie heard him say softly before Anthony took her arm and propelled her away from the scene.

Once they were out of earshot, Anthony explained. “I’ve never seen it done, but Martin knows what he’s doing. He’s using a form of hypnosis on her, to block the pain and all awareness of her surroundings. It’s an ancient method, developed for treating the wounded on the battlefield. I’ve only heard of it through legend, but Martin has been trained in the old ways by the Masters.”

“You’d call them martial arts experts,” Megan supplied.

“He’ll keep her comfortable while you do the Cesarean,” Anthony continued.

“I’ve never operated before,” Jackie retorted, hugging herself tightly. “I’m not a doctor. Even if Martin blocks the pain, I don’t know what I’m doing!” She peeked around the partition. Martin was leaning over Kim, talking softly. Her hands were on his wrists as he cradled her head. “Even if we get the child out, I don’t know how to close the incision correctly.”

“I can do that. All you have to do is make the incision,” Anthony countered.

“I can’t do this!”

Megan took Jackie by the shoulders and made her look away from Kim. “You have to; you’re the most qualified.”

*****

When Martin nodded that Kim was ready, Anthony and Jackie returned to the bedside. The medical supplies Kim had provided as an addition to the first aid kit from the shuttle seemed woefully inadequate. Even if Kim survived the ordeal, a resulting infection could kill her. But what choice did they have?

Jackie picked up a disposable scalpel, removed the foil wrapping, and flicked the blade guard away. She used her left hand, and for once didn’t fight the urge. There were more important things to worry about for the moment. She looked at Martin’s back with misgiving. Any second now, she expected Kim to writhe and scream in agony.

With a shaking hand, she made the initial incision, just above the pubic bone. A bikini cut was the only one she was even remotely familiar with, so that made the decision easy. Megan placed gauze on the edges of the wound to soak up blood, but Jackie barely noticed. Her total concentration was devoted to the incisions that would bring the child into the world. There was a fibrous network extending from the uterus, and she muttered under her breath. “What the hell is this? Anthony?”

He shook his head. “I’ve never seen anything like it either.” He examined the area he could see, then straightened up. “Just leave it. We could kill her trying to undo whatever Diana did.”

Shaken, Jackie nodded agreement. When the blade penetrated the uterine wall, she set the scalpel aside and groped with her fingers. Was that a shoulder? Yes! Carefully, she maneuvered the baby around and brought him out head first, noting he was indeed male. Megan had a blanket ready, and Jackie handed Jeffrey over, tied and cut the cord, then turned her attention back to the surgery. Once the afterbirth had been removed, she let Anthony take over and busied herself with giving Kim’s legs a token spongebath.

Using the healing probe and dissolving sutures, Anthony carefully patched Kim’s body back together and finished by applying one of the mottled green bandages from the med-kit. He wasn’t sure how it would be removed, since humans didn’t molt, but he decided that problem could be postponed until later. Now, it was more important to fuse the skin and protect Kim’s internal organs from infection.

Through all of it, Kim never stirred. Martin continued to talk softly to her, but the others couldn’t make out his words. Anthony had to shake his shoulder to get his attention and tell him they were done. Even when Martin finally sat back and sighed in relief that it was all over, Kim didn’t rouse.

Philip had been standing off to the side, observing everything while staying out of the way. Concerned, he moved closer to the bedside.

“She’s sleeping,” Martin explained when he realized the others had expected Kim to open her eyes. “I thought it would be best, given how tired she has been.”

“You’re probably right,” Philip agreed. A part of him was disappointed, though. He wanted to watch Kim join in the celebration. And he wanted to watch her meet her son, without having to wait for Kim to wake.

*****

Drained, Jackie moved away, quietly hugging herself. The backwash of the last hour rocked her soul and she needed some time alone. The feel of a hand on her back made her jump. Turning, she saw it was Philip.

“Are you all right?” he asked, obviously concerned.

She nodded mutely in reply, not trusting herself to speak. He smiled softly at her, seeming to understand.

“Why don’t you go take a hot shower and change your clothes?” he suggested.

Jackie looked down at herself and noticed the blood for the first time.

“Go on,” he urged.

Still dazed, she slowly walked away to do as he had advised.

*****

Martin stayed with Kim. He knew she was sleeping comfortably, but he couldn’t bring himself to leave her side. The others were caring for the infants, which was actually a relief. He had no conception of how to care for a child, having never been around one before. And his own memories of youth were of rigid discipline and intensive training. Even his brother had been as much a competitor as companion. They had been friends, as much as circumstances had allowed, until their inconsonant doctrines had strained their relationship to the point where...

He broke away from the progression of memories, forcing his attention back to the present. His brother could no longer be a consideration in the decisions Martin made.

Kim stirred, and Martin took her hand in his. Without waking, she pulled his hand to her cheek, using it as a pillow as she drifted back into a deeper level of sleep.

After a time, Damian wandered back to Kim’s bedside. “Where is the meeting with Kendall supposed to be?”

Martin looked at his watch. He’d completely forgotten about Kendall! Before he could get up from his seat on the crate, Damian placed a restraining hand on his shoulder. “I’ll go. You should stay here. Though she would never admit it, she needs you here.”

Martin looked up at him, confused. “The danger has passed.”

“Just trust me on this.”

Torn between his sense of duty and personal preference, he finally gave Damian the address of the rendezvous point and returned his attention to his quiet vigil.

*****

Jackie felt somewhat better after a shower and some time to herself. It was clear to her when she rejoined the others that they were all looking to her for guidance in caring for the twins. Megan and Philip were each holding one, but neither had attempted to apply diapers, much less give the infants a bath. Resigned, she rolled up her sleeves and went to find a container to serve as a makeshift bathtub.

Humming softly to herself, she didn’t dwell on their physical differences as she bathed each of them in turn. Despite all of her misgivings before the delivery, she felt a special bond with each of the newborn children. Their olive-toned skin and their dark green lips spoke clearly of alien blood. Jackie noted that their tongues were reptilian as well. And their eyes, those exotic eyes, watched her every move. They bore Visitor eyes of a rich red hue, with vertical pupils that were bordered by a margin of gold. She’d never scrutinized Megan’s or Drew’s eyes before, lest they become uncomfortable, but the glimpses she had seen had only hinted at the beautiful orbs concealed behind contact lenses.

While she washed each of them in turn, Jeffrey and Katherine watched her with typical newborn curiosity. Both of them shared the same mixture of features, though Jeffrey’s hair was a few shades darker than his sister’s. After just a few minutes, their alien gaze felt familiar, natural even. It was so easy to cuddle them close and overlook or not even notice the traits that revealed their dual heritage.

Megan watched Jackie with the infants and shared an incredulous look with Philip. For all of the difficulties Jackie had displayed in dealing with Kim, there were no such signs in evidence when Jackie cared for the children. Somehow, Jackie seemed to have moved from barely-concealed outrage about Kim’s pregnancy to open affection towards the children.

Philip returned Megan’s look and shook his head. He had given up all efforts to understand Jackie long ago. It was easier just to accept Jackie’s mood swings and keep a healthy distance when negative emotions boiled over.

*****

Kim woke feeling sore all over. Martin was leaning forward holding her hand, bracing himself with an elbow on his knee... so unlike the military posture he usually maintained. Her parched lips were raw and cracked, and her voice was hoarse when she tried to speak. The fate of the second infant was foremost on her mind. “Martin.”

He immediately opened his eyes. “How do you feel?”

“The child...”

“He’s fine,” Martin assured her. “Do you want some water?”

Kim nodded weakly, watching him as he got up and retrieved the glass of water Jackie had provided earlier.

He placed it on the crate he had been sitting on and put a strong arm under Kim’s shoulders. “Just relax and let me lift you,” he told her as he drew her into a sitting position. He sat down on the mattress behind her and had her lean back against him before he placed the cup of water in her shaking hand. He had to help steady her movements as she carefully sipped.

Even that slight effort tired her and she let Martin take the cup after only drinking half of the contents. “Remind me not to do this again any time soon,” she commented wryly as he eased her back down onto the bed.

“Which part?” Martin fired back in the same tone she had used.

“Good question.” Kim closed her eyes and grew serious again. “I want to see him.”

“All right,” Martin replied before going to tell Jackie. That done, he didn’t know what to do next. Should he return to Kim’s side? Or should he stay away for a time? Philip was sitting in a chair holding Katherine... should he ask to hold her?

Adrift, he finally sank down onto the couch and leaned back, closing his eyes. He hadn’t gotten much sleep last night, since he’d taken a turn on radio duty, then he’d been wakened early when Jackie got the others out of bed. He looked around, searching for a task. Megan was tending the radio, and he knew that Anthony was on guard duty, while the second guard post went untended. Somehow, that didn’t seem to be the right thing to be doing, though. Maybe it was best just to sit here and rest, at least until he figured out what he should be doing.

*****

“How are you feeling?” Jackie asked quietly as she came around the partition, holding Jeffrey in her arms.

Kim opened her eyes and tried to lift her head off of the pillow, but gave up immediately. “You don’t really want me to answer that.”

“Lie still. I’ll hold him so you can see him,” Jackie admonished as she approached the edge of the bed. She held Jeffrey at an angle while Kim got her first look at her son. Oblivious to the attention, Jeffrey continued to sleep peacefully.

“He’s perfect.”

Jackie didn’t argue. Instead, she reached across Kim and laid the child on the bed next to her. “Can you roll over on your side? You may as well try nursing him while you’re awake.”

“You want me to _move_?” Kim’s tone indicated what she thought about that idea.

Jackie nodded and smiled at her. “In a few hours, I plan to have you up walking. Don’t you want a shower and clean sheets?”

“Not that badly.”

“You’ll need some more rest before then, I know. But by tonight, you’re going to be out of this bed, girlfriend.” Jackie moved to the other side of the bed and sat down. “It’s about time you needed help with something I actually _do_ know about,” she commented in reference to nursing.

“You did fine....” Kim told her quietly as she reached for Jackie’s hand. “Thank you.”

Jackie smiled back at her before turning her attention to the mechanics of nursing.

*****

“Time to switch,” Jackie commented as she emerged from behind the privacy screen a bit later. She stood in front of Martin, and he opened his eyes when he sensed her standing there. “I need you to hold him while I take his sister in to Kim,” Jackie explained.

Martin looked blankly up at her. Hold a baby?

Jackie never paused or gave any indication that she noticed his discomfiture. Nor did she leave it open for debate. She instructed him to support the child’s head as she placed his son in his arms. His son. For the first time in his life, he was actually permitted to see his own offspring. It was a very strange thing, to know he was related to this small person he held. Martin’s brother had been the only relative he had ever known.

Before, he had been concerned primarily with Kim’s health. Children were an abstract thought. Even when he’d seen the signs of her pregnancy, the swollen abdomen, the band around her neck, he’d been focused on Kim. Now all of that had changed. He was a father. Regardless of the customs of Earth, whatever those were, Martin felt a responsibility to help take care of them. It was a responsibility he wanted. The only problem was how to broach the issue with Kim.

This was simply too much to deal with, he decided, as he looked at the boy in his arms. Jeffrey gazed back, staring at him with a disconcerting intensity, as if he knew what Martin was thinking and had answers to all of Martin’s questions... and no way to express them.

*****

Philip watched the pair with fascination and just a twinge of envy. It was as if a spell of enchantment had been cast over Martin and Jeffrey, the way they stared at each other. It had been amazing to hold Katherine while waiting for Kim to awaken, and he imagined it could only be more amazing when you knew the child was yours.

*****

When Katherine was done nursing, Jackie placed her in a large wicker basket she had found while scavenging in the other buildings. She had lined it with a couple of the thick soft towels Judy had sent and placed it on a sturdy table by the furniture grouping. Though not an ideal crib, it was large enough for both infants, and was better than nothing at all.

It seemed to her that Martin was reluctant to give up the infant he held, but Jackie could tell how desperately Martin needed sleep. Ignoring her suggestion to retire to a bunk in the shuttle, he returned to Kim’s side, though Jackie later looked in and saw he was stretched out next to Kim on the bed, sleeping soundly.

Philip had assumed the second guard post and Jackie found herself alone with nothing to do. After the frantic beginning to the day, it was a welcome change, though difficult to adjust to. Restlessly, she picked up the naming notebook and thumbed though it, wondering if anyone had made a final decision.

A passing glance at a sketch caught her attention as she rifled the pages, trying to find the last entry. She had to search carefully for the drawing, as it was buried between blank pages. When she finally found it, she realized it was a drawing of the soundstage. In fact, it was a near-photographic representation of the view from the radio room. The shuttle, with the entrance ramp down, was rendered in perfect detail. In front of the nose of the craft, the portion of the furniture grouping visible from the radio room was likewise drawn. The borders of the page showed the trim molding of the radio room’s door frame.

Impressed, she looked through the rest of the pages carefully, but found no other artwork. The sketch was unsigned, which only fueled her curiosity. Who was the anonymous artist in their midst? Jackie turned the cover and earlier pages to the back of the spiral-bound book and went in search of answers.

Anthony looked bored on guard duty, so she approached him first. His look of surprise at the item she had in her hand didn’t go unnoticed, though she pretended to be oblivious. “Do you have any idea who drew this?”

“Why?” Anthony replied, sidestepping her question.

“Because it’s good!”

“You think so?” He seemed not to believe her.

“I know so!” Jackie said emphatically. She looked up from the drawing, “Did you do this?”

Reluctantly, he nodded. “But I obviously forgot to tear it out like the others.”

Jackie’s eyes narrowed. It was at times like this she appreciated the Visitors’ penchant for directness. She didn’t have to finesse a way to bring up the subject. “This is a talent to be proud of, but you seem to be uncomfortable. Why?”

“I’ve been told it is a frivolous waste of time.”

“What idiot told you that?” Jackie retorted.

“My instructors... when I was younger,” he admitted, still surprised by her support.

“They were wrong. So you’ve been sketching secretly all these years? Without any instruction?” Jackie gazed at the sketch with renewed appreciation.

Anthony nodded with growing confidence. “It helps me stay awake during night-time guard duty.”

“We’ve got to get you and Judy together...” she mused out loud as she thought of Judy’s love of painting, drawing, and all things artistic. If Anthony had developed his skill to this level without any instruction and could render such wonderful sketches on lined notebook paper... think what he could do with the proper materials!

She remembered his earlier reference to ‘others’ and looked back at him. “You mentioned you had done others. Do you still have them? Don’t tell me you threw them all away.”

He smiled slightly and shook his head. “I still have them.”

“Will you show me later? You have real talent. I mean it.” She squeezed his arm when he nodded agreement, then left him to his post, still amazed that he had kept such a fantastic ability secret for so many years.

*****

When Kim roused, she was lying on her side curled up under the blankets. Warm fingers were pressed gently against the side of her neck. Opening her eyes, she was surprised to find Martin lying next to her. Even in sleep, he was keeping his vigil, she realized. If she tried to get up, or even roll over, the movement would undoubtedly wake him.

She covered his fingers with her own, then caressed the back of his hand, on past his wrist until the cuff of his uniform stopped her. His palm and fingers were warm from prolonged contact with her skin, but his wrist was markedly cooler.

Why was he here? Jackie had told her earlier that Damian had gone to meet Kendall in Martin’s place. But when Kim had asked whose idea it was to switch, Jackie had not known the answer. And it would be just like Damian to play matchmaker. The real mystery was why Martin had agreed to the change. Kim had never known him to place personal preference above duty, yet he was here rather than at the meeting. She hated to think that he was staying with her out of duty, yet it was the only conclusion she could reach. Even when she had first told him she was pregnant, his exact words had been, “You don’t have to deal with this alone.”

In reality, she hardly knew him. Sure, she knew something about his moral code, given his involvement with the fifth column, she knew the basics of his culture and how he had grown up, but she didn’t really know him like she knew Philip and Jackie. Martin never talked about his past. Actually, Kim realized, Martin hardly ever talked about himself. On the ship, their conversations had focused mainly on the fifth column and what she needed to know in order to survive. There had been no swapping of childhood stories, no discussion of personal interests... no exploration of who they each were as individuals.

She didn’t even know how he viewed her. True, she knew that he respected her. He’d seemed to enjoy their intellectual interactions, and never complained about their physical ones. On the ship, he’d been her instructor and her protector. But when he had reached the surface, it was Paul he had contacted. Though it made sense, Kim wished he had called Judy instead. At least then, she would have known he was looking for her. On the other hand, that wouldn’t preclude the possibility that he had searched for her out of a sense of responsibility, rather than a desire for her company.

How could she care so much about him, when she didn’t even know who he was? Could she bring herself to play on his sense of duty to keep him in her life, at least as a friend? She quickly discarded that idea. She wouldn’t manipulate him that way, even if it meant never seeing him again. Thus troubled, she finally drifted back to sleep.

*****

“Kim?” Jackie knelt next to the bed and stroked Kim’s cheek, trying to wake her gently without disturbing Martin.

Kim opened her eyes and saw Jackie holding Jeffrey. She had rolled over at some point while she slept and now faced away from Martin, though she knew he was still there since his arm was wrapped around her waist.

“Somebody’s hungry,” Jackie remarked as she laid the child down on the bed. “You feel up to walking yet?”

Reluctantly, Kim nodded. “Not until Martin wakes up, though.” She closed her eyes again as Jeffrey settled into nursing. “And a shower sounds pretty good, too.”

“Anthony used one of those permanent bandages from the shuttle kit, so I can’t see any reason not to,” Jackie agreed with forced cheerfulness.

“What is it?” Kim knew that worried tone too well to be fooled by Jackie’s vain attempt to hide her concern.

“It can wait.”

“Jackie...” Kim persisted as she opened her eyes.

Jackie sighed and gave in. “We saw something during the surgery Anthony has never seen before. There’s some sort of fibrous network in your abdomen. I may not be a doctor, but I’ve done my fair share of high school dissections, and it’s not normal.”

Kim reached for her hand and squeezed it reassuringly. “Jackie, I’m alive. That in itself is a miracle. My children are alive, which is more than a miracle. None of this has made sense, not from the very beginning. I’m not going to worry about such a minor thing when we have no way of knowing its purpose.”

Kim felt a deliberate increase in pressure from Martin’s hand, though he gave no other sign he was awake. He only did it once, which meant he agreed. Kim smiled to herself, instantly returning to those endless hours of discussion on the mothership when taps and squeezes revealed the true meanings behind every spoken word. She assumed he was feigning sleep to avoid letting Jackie see his eyes without his contacts. She couldn’t blame him, really. But it didn’t mean she had to like the situation either. Then again, how many of the Visitors did? They were just doing what they had to in order to survive on an alien world.

Jackie was watching her with a furrowed brow. “Where do you get the strength to be so calm?”

“I’ve already been to the depths of hell, Jackie. This war-torn world seems rather benign in comparison.”

Jackie didn’t know how to answer that, so she perched on a crate and sat quietly until Jeffrey finished. “I’ll bring Katherine to you in a minute,” she said as she left.

While she waited for Jackie to return, Kim rolled over so she faced Martin and saw him watching her, though he pretended to be asleep as soon as they heard Jackie’s approach.

“Just leave her here for awhile, okay?” Kim asked her after Jackie had straightened up from placing Katherine beside her.

“Okay. Just call me if you need anything,” Jackie agreed, then left them alone.

Martin opened his eyes again. He watched Katherine for a moment, then looked into Kim’s eyes. She smiled slightly at him and said nothing. Right now, the spell was too precious, and too fragile, to risk words.

His gaze drifted back to Katherine. Without thinking, he held out his finger and touched the child’s hand. Immediately, tiny fingers grasped his own in a surprisingly firm grip. Martin assumed it was a reflex response, but that suspicion didn’t make the experience less thrilling. It was hard to believe that such a tiny being would one day be an adult... if this world survived long enough to allow that to happen.

*****

After a time, Jackie returned and quietly took the sleeping infant away. A raised eyebrow asked if Kim was ever going to get up, but she didn’t press the issue when Kim waved her away.

Kim reached for Martin’s hand and squeezed his cool fingers gently. How did you thank someone for saving your life? “Thank you.”

He ran his index finger from her temple to her jaw, then tucked her hair behind her ear. “I’m glad I was here.” He didn’t clarify the double meaning behind his words.

“Me, too... for lots of reasons.” Without regard for the consequences, she pressed her lips into the palm of his hand. “Guess you’ve learned the hard way to be more careful where you meet Paul,” she said, referring to the day she and Philip had discovered Martin’s allegiance.

“And even more careful about who I let into my quarters,” he agreed with a solemnity that was betrayed only by the amusement in his eyes.

“And worse yet, into the bathtub.”

His gaze became distant for a moment before he looked back at her. “Would a shower suffice this time?”

Kim nodded. “But I’m not sure how long I’m going to be able to stay on my feet. I’m pretty tired and it’s a long walk.”

“I won’t let you fall,” Martin promised before he pulled his lens case from the vest of his uniform. In reality, she didn’t have far to go at all in order to reach the locker room in the adjacent building. As weak as she was, though, Martin knew it probably seemed light-years away.

*****

In the end, she walked part way and he carried her the rest. She was surprised when he removed his own uniform and joined her in the stall, though she was grateful for the support.

He kept his hands on her waist while she washed her hair, which was an intriguing process to watch. So many little mysteries of human life were being answered by the simple experience of living with Jackie and Kim. She must have noticed his interest, because she explained the purpose of the conditioner that followed the shampoo. When she was done with her hair, she proceeded to use a washcloth and soap to scrub her face and neck. Helping her wash her back was a natural next step.

Kim started to bend over to wash her legs and straightened up immediately. “I’m surprised I don’t feel more pain than I do.”

“You do, but your mind is blocking it,” Martin told her as he took the washcloth.

“Why not have me block it completely?” she asked, a bit indignant that she had to suffer at all.

“Because then you’ll do too much and injure yourself rather than heal.”

“Think you know me that well, do you?” she argued, knowing he was right.

“Your past record of behavior is evidence enough,” Martin told her gently as he knelt. He couldn’t help but notice the stubble under her arms and on her legs, in contrast to the smooth pseudoskin she had once worn. He made a mental note to ask Kim about it later. Right now, he could tell that her strength was almost gone.

Kim let the water pound on her back while Martin washed her legs. Why was he doing this? Duty alone was no reason for him to be this attentive, this caring...

Sensing her scrutiny, he looked up at her, squinting against the spray of water that made its way past her. “What?”

She shook her head. “Nothing.”

Finished, he stood up and waited while she rinsed off the remaining soap and turned off the water. “Feel better?”

Kim nodded and leaned on him wearily. “It wore me out, but it was worth it.” Maybe in a few days, she’d have enough stamina to reacquaint herself with a razor.

He dried them both off, then quickly dressed before helping Kim into a robe. She swayed on her feet, so he picked her up and carried her back to her bed.

In their absence, Jackie had put fresh linens on the bed and laid a clean nightgown on top. Martin helped her change into it, then tucked the blankets around her. Kim fell asleep almost immediately and after gazing at her thoughtfully for a time, he finally left her side to take a turn on guard duty.

*****

Over the next several days, Kim began to regain her strength, aided in part by the constant help the others gave her in caring for the babies. Almost everyone spent some of their off-duty time holding one of them. Philip and Damian especially seemed to enjoy spending time with them. Anthony, equipped with supplies Jackie had purchased, began to sketch openly. After a few days, everyone had grown accustomed to his intense gaze as he tried to capture the scenes of the daily life they now lived. Most often though, his subjects were the twins, since they had infinite patience for his scrutiny.

Morale improved after they received good news from the mothership. Lorraine had managed to convince Diana that she, rather than Pamela or John, had the loyalty of the crew. For all of Jackie’s grumbling about joining Diana’s fan club, even she had to admit that it was nice to hear good news for a change.

The only ones who didn’t feel cheerful were Martin and Kim, though they both managed to hide it from everyone else, and from each other. Martin spent as much time with the twins as he could while trying not to appear too interested... or too attached. As much as he wanted a confidant to guide him through this, he didn’t feel comfortable talking to any of the others. He had spent too many years of his life in the military to be able to shrug off the conventions of rank. Senior officers didn’t mingle and they never revealed their weaknesses.

The one person who had never seemed to care about those precepts and encouraged him to reveal his inner thoughts was Kim. Since she was the subject of his rumination, talking to her wasn’t something he even considered doing. Damian was probably the best one to talk to, but there was something about the way Damian watched him that Martin found unsettling. Martin just couldn’t bring himself to do it, so he continued to suffer in silence.

*****

The monotony of guard duty on a moonless night was disrupted by the sound of an approaching car. Martin moved into the darkest shadows and unholstered his laser pistol. When the vehicle came into view, he noticed that the headlights were off. Even more worrisome was the fact that the two-door hatchback was headed directly for him. Kneeling, he kept the driver’s outline in his sights and prepared to fire.

The vehicle’s interior lights came on and Martin recognized Paul sitting behind the steering wheel, with Darlene in the front passenger seat. Relieved, he stood up and moved to the large door. He slid it open and motioned for Paul to drive inside, then closed it securely behind them.

“Stand guard,” he heard Paul tell Darlene as they both got out of the car. Darlene avoided any eye contact with Martin as she walked past, though she did willingly go outside to keep watch.

Paul watched her go, wishing he could have left her behind. But she had been the only one who knew where Martin’s group was located, so he had been forced to bring her along. Right now, though, there were more important things to worry about. He discarded that issue from his mind and turned to Martin. “We have a problem --one too sensitive to mention on the radio.”

Candy climbed out of the back seat and pulled her indecently short skirt back into place as she looked around. “Is there anyplace we can sit down? This could take awhile.”  She bent over and slipped off her stiletto-heeled shoes, preferring to walk barefoot on the cold pavement. Paul shook his head at her, and she smiled up at him before following Martin towards the other end of the building. Discussions of the women’s footwear were familiar to both of them.

Kim was sitting on the end of the couch with her feet tucked underneath her, wrapped in a blanket. She glanced up when she heard them approach and set aside her book in surprise. “Paul? Candy? What’s wrong?”

“Shouldn’t you be asleep?” Martin asked.

Kim pointed to the basket where the twins were sleeping. “Tell them.” The two infants had taken turns keeping her up, and she had finally given up on sleeping for the time being. She saw Paul watching her with a rather incredulous look and she nodded confirmation that she was Karen.

Candy claimed one of the chairs, resisting the temptation to fuss over the infants she had glimpsed sleeping in the basket. There were more pressing matters at hand. “The resistance is doing a terrible job keeping information confidential,” she began while Martin and Paul seated themselves. “Which is how I got this information in the first place. Word is that Donovan’s group has developed a toxin for release into the atmosphere. They’ll be distributing it any day now, if they haven’t begun to already.”

“What sort of toxin?” Kim asked, her scientific curiosity piqued even though she was horrified at the idea of biological warfare.

“The leak called it ‘red dust.’ He didn’t know that much about it, other than the fact it’s said to be fatal within minutes.”

Martin looked to Kim, silently asking for her input.

She pursed her lips and looked down at her hands, thinking, before giving her best guess. “It could be anything- chemical, bacterial, but probably not viral.” She looked back to Martin. “But they must believe it’s somewhat selective in its toxic effects, or else it would mean global extinction.”

Philip, hearing their conversation, left his post at the radio and joined them.

“It could be anyway,” Paul said grimly.

“They’d do it, too,” Philip added. “Diana would never admit defeat, not if she could send forty-nine ships home.”

“Enough to help in the short term, so she’d feel justified in destroying the planet.” Martin nodded his agreement, then noticed Kim’s raised eyebrow. “The motherships can be set for self-destruct, making each one a thermonuclear device capable of destroying the entire planet. Only the commanding ship is authorized to give the order....”

“And that’s the L.A. ship,” Kim finished for him. “So we either have to stop the release of the toxin or take over the ship.”

“What about an antidote?”

Candy shrugged her shoulders at Philip’s question. “He made no mention of one.”

“It might not be possible to have an antidote,” Kim cut in. “Especially if it’s a chemical toxin. Even developing a vaccine against a biological weapon could take some time. From the sounds of it, the humans never even planned for us to find out about it.” She leaned back in her seat, fighting a wave of fear that the columnists could all die at any moment.

“You said Donovan’s group was responsible?” Martin said, recalling Candy’s earlier remark.

She nodded.

Paul looked to Martin in anticipation. “I was hoping you would know how to contact him, so we can tell them to stop their plans to use this weapon.”

Martin gave an affirmative nod, then checked his watch. “You were right not to trust this to the radio. For now, keep this to yourselves. Until we know more, there’s no point inciting panic in the other surface groups.”

“I’d suggest stockpiling as many respirators and gas-masks as we can find,” Kim commented, thinking out loud. “Even with an antidote, it would be best to minimize exposure whenever possible.”

Martin stood up. “I’ll go find Donovan and warn him. In the meantime, see what else you can find out.” He looked gratefully at Candy and added, “Once again, we owe you.”

“I’ll put it on your tab,” she said with a dismissive wave of her hand before bending down to put on her shoes.

“If they decide to proceed, I may ask you to come back again, so we can plan how to best utilize the surface groups. You know more about their status than I do, I’m sure,” Martin told Paul.

“Understood,” Paul replied as Candy took his arm. “I suppose we should take Darlene with us.”

“If you leave her here, I won’t have anyone to make miserable,” Candy grumbled with a mock pout on her face.

Kim giggled and looked at Candy, sharing in the moment of levity. “It was good seeing you again,” she said as they started to leave, then picked up her book. She knew Paul would explain if Candy didn’t know about her masquerade.

*****

Alone again, Kim tried desperately to read. She wanted to lose herself in the story and forget, if only for a little while, that all of her friends might die from the release of the toxin. But it was impossible to forget. She threw the book aside in disgust and stared at the basket where her children were sleeping. It was very possible that the toxin would kill them, too.

She drew the blanket more tightly around her and pulled her knees to her chest, rocking slightly as silent tears streamed down her face. With shaking shoulders, she pressed her cheek against her blanketed knees.

“You’re going to be okay, Kimber.”

She heard the words from the edge of a dream. Her head snapped up and Kim blinked away the tears. A woman stood with her hands resting lightly on the edges of the basket. Her stance was protective, loving, as she looked down at the children. “Mom?”

The woman looked at her and smiled. “Hold on to hope, Kimber.” Then she was gone.

“Mom!”

Philip appeared in the doorway, having heard Kim’s desperate cry. She was sitting on the couch and staring at the basket. “Kim? Are you okay?”

She seemed not to hear him for a moment, then slowly turned to look at him. “I think I’m losing my mind.” Seeing his obvious concern, she smiled bravely. “I’m okay.”

She could tell he wasn’t convinced, but he did finally go back to his post. As soon as he was out of sight, the confident look slid from her face. She knew she hadn’t fallen asleep. It hadn’t been a dream; she could have sworn she had seen her mother standing there. She believed in an afterlife, but the dead didn’t visit the living. She desperately wished it had been real, so she could take comfort in the message rather than question her sanity.

*****

Martin made his way carefully back to the base after a brief and discouraging meeting with Donovan. Pausing, he looked up at the sky, feeling insignificant compared to the vastness of space. Had he ever really believed the fifth column could save two worlds? Even if the humans listened to reason and abandoned their plan to use the toxin, what chance did the column have at overthrowing the Leader? Ideals alone were insufficient. Martin needed large numbers of columnists to help him and a minimum of three motherships at his disposal if the coup were to succeed.

Right now, success in any form seemed unlikely. Donovan had been more worried about how Martin had found out about the weapon being developed than hearing about the self-destruct device on the mothership. It seemed to Martin that Donovan had only agreed to tell the other rebels about the risk in order to avoid a lengthy discussion.

“Well?” Anthony asked as Martin approached the building.

Martin shook his head. “Donovan will be contacting me soon, but I don’t think they’re going to change their plans.”

“Did he say what sort of toxin it is?”

“No, we didn’t get into that. Do you know what upset him the most? The fact that we knew about it,” Martin added bitterly.

“I guess they aren’t all like Kim and Jackie.”

“Seems that way.”

Anticipating Martin’s next question, Anthony put a hand on Martin’s shoulder in an unconscious imitation of human mannerisms. “Don’t worry about taking over for me. Go get some sleep while you can.”

“Thank you,” Martin answered quietly before going inside. He didn’t comment about the physical contact. On the surface, they all seemed to be more relaxed with protocol and Anthony probably hadn’t even realized what he had done.

*****

“Donovan!” Paul was very surprised when Stacey knocked on the open door and gestured the resistance fighter into the room.

“I need you to contact Martin,” he said as he took off his leather gloves and shoved them into the pockets of his jacket. “The place I usually leave a message was crawling with troops and this is urgent.”

Paul nodded as he stood and went over to the radio unit. “Then it must be about your weapon,” he commented casually.

“How’d you....” Mike stopped and slammed a fist into the palm of his left hand. He’d have to talk to Ham later about finding the leak in the resistance. “Next thing I know I’ll be reading about it in the morning paper.”

“Quite possibly,” Paul agreed. Mike Donovan would do well to become more paranoid, given his past record of extreme risk-taking. He pressed a series of switches, then turned the unit off.

“What about sending a message?” Mike asked, irritated that Paul wasn’t cooperating with his request.

“I just sent it.” Paul turned and regarded the human carefully. “We use pre-set codes whenever possible.”

“To prevent information from reaching the wrong people. I hear you,” Mike snapped. “How long until he gets here?”

“A half-hour, minimum. It depends on troop activities.” Paul folded his arms across his chest. “You decided to proceed with the toxin.”

“Where are you getting your information?” Mike demanded.

“Isn’t it a bit late to be concerned with that?” Paul sat back down in his chair and watched the human pace in the cramped confines of the office. “Even Diana probably knows by now. You’ve lost the only advantage you had: the element of surprise.”

“And you have a better idea?”

“A large dose of patience might help.”

“Patience? We can’t afford to be patient! People are being herded to the motherships like sheep! Supplies are impossible to get, weapons even more so. We don’t have time to wait for the column to get stronger. We both know the column is struggling just to survive.”

“So you’d rather kill everyone quickly. It’s an interesting form of logic, and I’m sure the Leader will appreciate your help.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Donovan stopped his pacing to glare at Paul.

“If the Earth is destroyed, we’ve lost both worlds. You’ll send forty-nine partially stocked ships home, with enough supplies to help for a time. The Leader will have plenty of humans to turn into troops for the war, as well as breed another generation of slaves.

“The fifth column is currently stronger on the surface than on the ships, so you’ll effectively remove that threat to the Leader as well. Any columnists who remain on board will be forced to either turn loyalist again or be put to death.

“You’ll be sending him thousands of your people, a loyal crew, and preventing any future retaliation from Earth. The Leader’s rule will go unchallenged and he’ll be free to continue the cycle of destruction elsewhere.” Paul shook his head sadly. “This toxin of yours may destroy everything the fifth column has tried to accomplish.”

“We’re going to get control of the L.A. mothership,” Donovan insisted, finally sinking into the other chair.

“And what of the other forty-nine? All they have to do is consolidate the supplies they have stolen and send several ships home... filled with your people, while the others stay here and continue as they have been.”

“The toxin won’t let them.”

“So there is no antidote?”

Donovan shook his head, frustrated at having to continue the same debate he’d had at the base all morning. Damn it, they’d already considered the issues and voted for an attack! “Of course, there’s an antidote! Julie’s working on scaling up the supply right now for distribution to the column. You didn’t think we’d use something that would kill our allies, did you?” The possibility the Visitors had assumed just that occurred to him belatedly. Why hadn’t he told Martin about that last night? It might have swayed his opinion...

Paul’s voice interrupted his thoughts. “It was a possibility,” he admitted. “This _is_ war. But it doesn’t matter.” Donovan’s confusion was evident and Paul tried to explain. “If you can develop an antidote, so can they. In the end, what have you gained?”

“Time.” Mike stood up, weary of the debate. “Look, it’s out of my hands. We took a vote this morning and the toxin is already being distributed.” He opened the door and paused in the doorway, his hand on the knob. “Just let me know when Martin gets here,” he added before pulling the door closed behind him.

Paul watched him exit silently, then turned back to the task of tallying information on surface columnists and supplies. He and Martin had some long hours of planning ahead of them.


	12. Preparing for the Fight

Paul looked up when the door opened and saw Martin. “Donovan’s here,” he said and threw down his pen. The expression on his face must have conveyed his feelings despite the pseudoskin, because Martin immediately swore in their native language and shut the door more firmly than he normally would. “He said he couldn’t leave a message for you where he normally did because of troop activity in the area,” Paul added.

“So he _can_ think,” Martin commented bitterly as he sat down. The enormity of the task that lay ahead of them was beyond comprehension.

“On occasion, it seems,” Paul replied quietly. “What now?”

“We find a way to make it work,” Martin sighed. “What choice do we have?”

Donovan knocked on the door once as he opened it, then paused when he felt the chill atmosphere of the office.

Martin shifted in his chair and looked over his shoulder at Mike. “How long do we have before we commit suicide?”

“We planned on the day after tomorrow,” Donovan answered, ignoring the suicide comment.

“Impossible,” Martin said sharply. He leaned back in his chair and looked at Paul. 

Paul wasn’t nearly as restrained in his response. “You may as well attack now!” he snapped as he stood up.

Mike sat down in the chair next to Martin and forced himself to stay calm. He’d been arguing all day, and he was too drained to do it yet again. “What do you suggest?”

Martin looked sharply at him but refrained from stating the obvious. Instead, the Visitor signaled for Paul to sit down. Mike waited while the two conferred in Sirian. At least, that’s what Mike assumed they were doing, as only a handful of syllables were exchanged. Finally, Martin sighed and shook his head to himself. “Can you delay until four days from now?”

“Done.”

Martin didn’t acknowledge the concession. “What has been planned so far?”

Donovan leaned forward, eager to share what the resistance had decided. “We’re going to use jets to disperse the toxin into the atmosphere.”

“So the toxin is inhaled?” Paul interrupted.

Mike nodded.

“How long from time of exposure until time of death?” Martin asked, already trying to decide how to best use the toxin in the attack on the mothership.

“Julie says that’s dose-dependent. With a high enough dose, less than a minute.” Mike hoped they didn’t press for details of exactly how the victim died. He could still see Brian’s limp form crumpled in the test chamber, the pseudoskin torn away from his face in a vain effort to breathe as the toxin slowly suffocated him.

Martin’s voice pulled him back to the present. “Where are you getting jets?”

“By raiding military bases.”

“Do you have enough pilots?” Paul was skeptical.

Mike nodded with far too much confidence for the Visitors to believe him. “Besides, we only need a few planes in the air. The tricky part will be getting them there. We’re going after the Air Force base _en masse_ , though.”

“What about the L.A. ship? Have you considered how you are going to get control before the self-destruct device is activated?”

Mike looked a bit sheepish, but refused to yield to pessimism. “We figured you guys would be the best ones to plan that. Just tell us how you want us to help.”

Paul and Martin looked at each other for a long moment before Martin turned to Mike. “Where’s your base?”

“Why?” Mike replied automatically. When Martin didn’t answer, he grudgingly gave the address. Ham wasn’t going to like hearing about any of this when he got back.

“We’ll be there with a shuttle at noon, three days from now,” Martin told him. “Have as much of this toxin available as you can-- a minimum of enough to fill six cubic meters.”

“We’ll do our best. We’ll need to distribute the antitoxin to the columnists as soon as possible-- enough to protect them for several days. Julie wants an estimate of how many people we need to inoculate.”

“Bring your supply here, and I’ll see that it gets dispensed to the L.A. ship,” Paul said. “Plan on two hundred individuals.”

“That many?” Mike was impressed. He had not realized the column had grown that much.

“No, but we have to assume that some will make its way to the loyalists, no matter how careful we are,” Paul reminded him. “Don’t worry. In five days, there won’t be anyone left on Earth to care.”

“Are you always so negative?” Donovan blurted.

“I prefer to think of myself as practical,” Paul replied calmly. He folded his arms across his chest and asked a question that had been nagging at him. “How are you getting the antitoxin to columnists on the other forty-nine ships?”

Mike shifted in his seat uncomfortably. “Ham’s been taking care of global distribution.”

“Ham Tyler?” Martin clarified. Of all the people to place in charge of that task...

“He’ll come through. I don’t like him either, but he keeps his word.” Mike stood and opened the door. It was tempting to retire to an alley with a six-pack of cold beer rather than return to the base. Discarding that idea, he looked at Paul. “I’ll bring the antitoxin tomorrow evening.” With a glance at Martin, he headed out the door, adding over his shoulder, “Try not to give yourself an ulcer before then.”

Paul looked to Martin with a questioning gaze after Mike left, but Martin shook his head, not wanting to take the time to explain the comment. “Can you come back to the base with me? We have a lot of planning to do.”

Paul nodded and moved from behind his desk. “If we ask them, I’m sure some of the women will be willing to stand guard. They’re not experienced with firearms, but they can always call us to go help in the event of trouble.”

“That would be a tremendous help. We have a lot of planning to do, and I’d like as much input from everyone as possible.”

“Even Darlene?” Paul asked, pausing in the doorway. When Martin nodded, Paul smiled to himself. “Wait here, then, and I’ll be right back.”

Weary, Martin sank back into his chair and rested his elbows on his knees. Four days. They had four days in which to plan a miracle.

*****

“If you keep looking this depressed, I’ll be forced to take action,” Jackie told Drew as she leaned over the back of the couch where he was sitting.

He looked sideways at her and forced a half-smile, but said nothing.

Jackie went around to the front and sat down cross-legged at the other end of the sofa. Leaning back against the padded arm, she regarded him affectionately. “Thinking about the toxin?”

Drew nodded. “Do you think they’ll use it?”

Jackie sighed. “I really don’t know, but I hope not. Biological warfare is a nasty business.” She pushed her bangs out of her eyes and leaned her head against the back of the couch. “Try not to worry. Kim will make an antitoxin on her own if she has to. Damian said the shuttle has its own air supply, which would buy us time.”

Drew looked unconvinced, but didn’t argue with her.

“Are you worried about getting stranded here?” Jackie asked, broaching the issue she believed was the real cause of Drew’s despondent mood.

He nodded reluctantly. “It seems to be unavoidable.”

“I know, and I’m sorry.” Jackie resisted the urge to take his hand. “I know what it’s like to be stuck someplace you don’t want to be. But for what it’s worth, you won’t be alone. I have a huge house, and so does Kim. Even if you do get stuck here when the fighting ends, you won’t always be living in a place like this.”

“I appreciate that. Really. But it’s not the same.” He had the sense Jackie really did understand how he felt.

“I know. And when the war’s finally over, assuming our side wins, there’s going to be an unpleasant backlash of prejudice. I don’t blame you for not wanting to be here for that.”

“I suppose it’s better than being dead,” Drew reflected.

Jackie grinned at him. “You just may have a point there.” She was pleased to see she had evoked a more genuine smile this time. His mannerisms had become more and more human over the last few months. Aside from the reverberations of his voice, he would be able to pass as human.

*****

“Can we use the toxin to help us take control of the mothership?” Megan asked, trying to keep the despair from her voice. Martin had returned with Paul, Darlene, and four human women to stand guard in pairs while the Visitors decided how to proceed. They were all sitting together in the furniture grouping, though some of them had to sit on crates because there were not enough seats for everyone.

Martin nodded. “I’ve already told Donovan to get a large supply ready. We can pump it into the ventilation system. While Pamela is busy dealing with that, we can try to take control of central command.”

“What about the self-destruct device?” Jackie asked.

Martin’s expression was grim. “I have no doubt Diana will find a way to use it. Even with a decoder, I doubt we’ll be able to stop it. All we can do is try to get the ship out of Earth’s range before it explodes.”

Jackie gaped at him. “You’re talking about a suicide mission!”

Martin shook his head. “Not for the rest of you. Once the toxin has been introduced, you can return to the surface.”

Drew and Jackie exchanged a look, recalling their earlier conversation about the possibility of fifth columnists being stranded on Earth.

Damian leaned forward, thinking about the proposal. “It could work, but the column is going to need you for a lot longer than four more days,” he told Martin. “I’ll take your place.”

“No, but we can argue about that later,” Martin replied, then changed the subject. “How strong is the column on the San Diego ship?”

Alan answered him. “From what we’ve heard, it’s weak in the upper levels, but a bit stronger in the ground forces. Why?”

Paul explained. “We’re trying to keep as many of the columnists on the L.A. ship as we can active in the fleet by getting them assigned ground duty on the day of the attack. Once the toxin has been released into the atmosphere and word spreads that the destruct sequence has begun on the L.A. ship, we’re anticipating that the ground forces will retreat to nearby motherships. The San Diego ship is the closest.”

“Has the resistance thought at all about the other forty-nine ships?” Megan asked. “Some of them will stay in the system and attack again. What exactly do they hope to gain by all of this?”

“They can’t count that high,” Darlene supplied.

Jackie giggled nervously at the comment and glanced over at Kim. She was staring sullenly at the basket where the twins were sleeping, appearing to be unaware of the conversation around her. Jackie thought about trying to get her attention, then decided against it. Neither of them could give much input and listening to the plans only reinforced how hopeless it all was. Sighing to herself, Jackie turned her attention back to what Martin was saying.

“... not going to order any of you to help on the L.A. ship. If you prefer to help the resistance on the surface, I understand. It will mean you are stranded here until the fleet returns sometime in the future, but it also means you’ll probably live longer.”

“Assuming they actually have an antitoxin that works,” Darlene added.

Kim answered softly without looking up. “I’ll make one myself if I have to.”

“I’ll go up to the ship,” Megan announced firmly. “I think we all knew the risks when we joined the column.” The others all murmured their agreement. They intended to support their leader, no matter the personal consequences.

“What about the other surface units?” Anthony asked. “There are about fifty or so columnists that Paul knows of, and I can’t imagine needing all of them to help us deliver the toxin to the ship.”

“That’s something I want input from all of you on,” Martin replied. “The resistance plans to attack Air Force bases and steal jets to distribute the toxin into the atmosphere. Should those columnists assist in that effort? Or should they take control of some of the major checkpoints and get custody of as many shuttles as they can? Or something else entirely?”

“I think they should try to infiltrate like Kim and Philip did,” Megan volunteered. “They have the next three days to prepare, and getting them back into the fleet would be a real asset.”

Paul smiled at Kim and chimed in. “I agree. We already know it can be done.”

“That was before the security measures became a lot stricter,” Philip warned.

“He’s right. If we had waited even two more weeks, I would definitely have been spotted when I came aboard,” Kim added, then turned to Philip. “I remember you said at one point that the new security measures would have detected you, too.”

Philip nodded, remembering the evening of that conversation very clearly. “It’s not quite as easy as it sounds.”

Megan persisted, “But it can be done. And if they target positions with lower ranks than they held before, they should be able to perform so well in their assignments they gain favor with their superiors, which in turn will help protect them from any suspicion.”

Drew was beginning to regret his earlier promise to help Martin, in light of the new option to return to a different ship. “What about the columnists who are on board the L.A. ship at the time of our attack?”

Darlene cut in before anyone could answer. “You mean all three of them?”

“There will be more than that,” Paul told her patiently. “They’ll have to leave the ship when we do.”

“We’ve got plenty of room!” Jackie said as she gestured to the expanse of space inside the soundstage.

Drew tried to hide his personal interest in the issue, and phrased his next question carefully. “What should the other columnists know about infiltrating that would have helped you?”

Kim looked at Philip and grinned as she nodded her head slightly, indicating he should be the one to answer.

“Too many things to list,” Philip told Drew. “I never expected it to be so difficult. There were so many little things we never considered...”

“Try to recall,” Martin prodded gently as he looked from Kim to Philip. “Your experience might save lives.”

*****

Several hours later, the small group finally dispersed. They had discussed all aspects of the attack at length, and finally agreed that they had planned as best they could. They had finally resigned themselves to the fact that the columnists on the other ships were going to have to rely on the good graces of other resistance groups for both information and antitoxin. There was simply too little time to do otherwise. Fatigued and disheartened, most of them retired to bed for some sleep, while Drew, Anthony, and Philip took the first watch of the night. Darlene declined an invitation to stay at the soundstage and went with Paul.

“I want you and Darlene to stay on the surface and help coordinate the relocation of the other columnists,” Martin told Paul as the trio walked to the car where the human women were already waiting. “If you get a chance to go back yourself, take it.”

“I’ll help the others infiltrate. But I prefer staying on Earth, if you don’t mind,” Paul replied.

Darlene looked him over and gave her assessment. “You’re insane!” Disgusted, she walked faster towards the car to spare herself hearing more on the subject.

Paul shrugged humanly. “Maybe.” He studied Martin carefully, looking for an indication of what Martin wanted him to do.

“I understand.” Martin paused, then added softly, so no one would overhear, “I envy you.” He clasped Paul’s hand in farewell and stayed to watch the car leave the building.

Alone, he returned to the now-quiet furniture area. The twins, having nursed in the last half hour, were once again sleeping in the basket. “It would have been nice to watch you grow up,” he said quietly before retreating to the shuttle for the night.

*****

“It’s so quiet,” Kim commented as she wandered into the radio room where Martin was sitting. She sat down in the extra chair and leaned heavily on the desk. “No news yet, I assume?”

Martin nodded. “Fortunately.” It was never easy to be the one left behind, waiting to learn the fate of those he commanded.

“How long ago did they leave?”

“You just woke up?” he asked, surprised she had been able to sleep this late into the morning. Usually one or both of the twins woke her before dawn.

Kim stifled a yawn while she nodded.

Martin checked his watch. “It’s been almost an hour. They should be on board the ship by now.”

Neither of them mentioned how critical it was for the mission to succeed. All of the other columnists were currently on board the L.A. mothership, trying to steal enough weapons and uniforms to outfit the human rebels who were going to participate in the attempted takeover. If the fifth columnists failed today, defeat in three days was a certainty.

“They’ll be all right. I doubt any of them will be recognized,” Kim said, hoping to convince them both.

“Is Jackie up?” he inquired, wanting to think about something else.

“She’s pacing along the far wall.”

 “She’s worried that no one’s on guard?” Martin asked. He had assured Kim the day before that they wouldn’t be taken alive, and since the three of them couldn’t properly keep watch anyway, they had decided not to bother. Kim and Jackie had agreed with Martin that the best option was suicide capsules for all of them, including the twins, if capture seemed imminent.

Kim shrugged. “I think she’s just worried in general. Aren’t you?” She searched his face and hoped he wouldn’t notice the tears threatening to spill from her eyes.

Kim chewed on her lower lip, debating a moment before deciding to simply ask what she had been thinking. Martin was watching her, seeming to be aware of her hesitation, since he nodded slightly in encouragement. “If your brother comes, do you want me to give him a message?” she asked quietly. She remembered Damian had said that would only happen if Martin was killed.

He considered for a moment, then shook his head. “He’s still loyal to the Leader. I don’t want you taking that risk.”

Kim looked at him sympathetically, realizing what Martin’s defection had cost him. “Were you close?”

When we were younger... before I realized we were constantly being watched and listened to. I didn’t speak as freely after that, and I don’t think he realized why until much later. By then, we’d drifted apart. We weren’t even speaking when I left.”

“What happened?”

“He didn’t know about the column, so he was furious with me when I got into apparent trouble and was demoted.”

“You were protecting him,” Kim observed. 

Martin nodded. “The only way I could. Now, when they question him about my defection, they won’t be able to put any blame on him because he truly didn’t know anything.”

“Do you think he’ll eventually realize that’s what you were doing?”

He looked away but was unable to keep the pain from his voice. “I don’t know. I hope so.”

Kim touched his arm so he’d look back at her. “If he does come to Earth and I hear that he’s with the fifth column, I’ll tell him for you.”

“Thank you.” His lips formed the words but there was no voice backing them. Even so, his expression conveyed his gratitude and Kim smiled at him before she leaned back in her chair and ran her fingers through her hair. Her shift in position broke the somber mood, and showed him something that distracted him completely from their conversation. “What happened to your arm?”

“Where?” She looked where his gaze fell and didn’t see anything.

Martin pushed up the hem of her sleeve and lightly touched the blue and yellow bruise she had inadvertently exposed. “Right here. Doesn’t it hurt?”

“No,” Kim said as she shook her head. “I probably just smacked into something.” Twisting her neck, she was able to see the spot out of the corner of her eye if she held her arm out at an angle. “It looks like it’s a few days old. I don’t remember doing anything but I’ve been bruising easily lately.”

“You seem to be feeling better,” he said in a tone that made the statement resemble a question.

“I am, but my system took a real beating these last few months.” She smiled, hoping to alleviate his concern. “Don’t worry. I’ll be fine.”

“What will you do if the other ships leave?” He wanted to know what her life was going to be like after the war. He craved something happy to think about during idle moments in the coming days.

“It will never happen,” she commented morosely.

“Indulge me.”

His request, softly spoken, drove her to her feet. “I can’t do this.” She forced herself to take deep breaths, unmindful of the clenched fists at her sides.

“Kim.” Martin could tell she was reaching the limits of her control, though he wasn’t sure of the cause of her distress.

She felt his fingers brush against her wrist and she turned on him angrily. “I can’t just sit here and blandly chat about the future when we both know you’ll probably be dead in two days.”

Gently, he pulled her into his lap and wiped away the tears that were streaming down her cheeks. “If I knew of any other way, I’d do it.”

“You’re not the one who’s going to be left behind.” Her voice broke as she looked into his eyes and tried to match his unwavering gaze. “Do you know what it’s like to always be the one left standing when everyone you love dies?”

As soon as the words passed her lips, she realized she’d said much more than she had intended. Horrified, she looked away, hoping he wouldn’t notice the slip.

Martin felt her stiffen and held her more firmly when she tried to get up. He couldn’t let this moment pass before he told her...

“Please, let me go. Just forget I said anything, okay?” Kim tried to hide her humiliation and was frustrated to realize her face was turning red. She ducked her head and tried once more to pull away.

“Kim...” He didn’t know how to tell her what he was thinking and felt like he had just forgotten all of the English he had worked so hard to master. Deliberately, he took her left hand and entwined her fingers with those of his own left hand. He looked to be certain he had it correct, then lifted her chin so she’d meet his eyes. “Do you know what this means?”

Silently, she nodded. Even if he had released her, which he hadn’t, she lacked the volition to stand. Damian had shown her the obscure handclasp used by a husband and wife soon after the twins were born, saying she needed to know “Just in case Martin comes to his senses.” Her vision blurred with a new flood of tears and she closed her eyes. She felt him nuzzling her throat and she flung her right arm around his neck to pull him closer.

Hesitant caresses became tentative kisses. She felt his tongue flick against her mouth. She parted her lips compliantly and ran her free hand along his back in encouragement. When she didn’t pull away, he deepened the kiss, seeming to gain confidence with the passing of each heartbeat.

When they finally broke for air she buried her head on his shoulder. “What are we going to do?”

Martin held her but didn’t answer. No matter how many scenarios he played out in his mind, all of them ended with the destruction of the L.A. mothership... with him at the helm.

“Can’t someone else...”

“Who? How would you choose?” he asked her softly as he stroked her hair. “Besides, not everyone knows how to pilot the mothership.”

“It’s not fair,” she whispered as a fresh flood of tears threatened to soak the shoulder of his uniform.

“War rarely is.”

A numbness that was far too familiar settled over her. History was repeating itself. And because it was her own history that seemed to be coiled into an infinite loop, there was no escape.

Katherine’s cries summoned her attention, and she got up stiffly. With a false smile pasted on her face, she leaned over the basket and soothed her daughter, noting that Jeffrey, too, was awake.

While she changed their diapers, she noted that Jackie was still pacing along the far end of the building, beyond the reach of comfort. Jackie was sure to be thinking of her younger son, Justin, who was still a prisoner on one of the motherships. Words of solace would be empty platitudes, unable to bridge the gap that lay between their personal, private hells. Kim turned her awareness inward, probing for any sense of empathy for Jackie’s situation. All she found was a numbness so complete it prevented her from feeling even that. Detached. Numb. God forbid she should progress to indifference. That thought evoked a slight, if fleeting, response.

A hand pressed against her back. On other days, it would have startled her. Today, it hardly registered. She leaned back against Martin, trying to imprint the feel of him permanently in her mind, though she knew too well how time would make the memory fade.

Wordlessly, he held her for a long moment, then moved around her to pick up Jeffrey. She gathered Katherine into her arms and fumbled with the buttons of her shirt as she followed Martin back into the office.

The numbness extended to nursing, too. There were no feelings of joy, no extra sense of tenderness as the child suckled at her breast. She knew Katherine deserved better, and she wanted to give more, but there was nothing inside her to give. She sensed Martin watching her and she raised her eyes to meet his.

The emptiness he saw in her gaze concerned him. “You were going to tell me what you plan to do when the fighting ends,” he prodded gently. A spark of indignation flashed across her face.

“I was, was I?”

He nodded and waited for her to either argue or answer.

Kim sighed and shut her eyes. “I honestly don’t know. I haven’t let myself think that far ahead. It depends, I guess, on how many columnists move in with me, and how bad conditions in the city get. I might go to Jackie’s ranch in Colorado. Getting away from this polluted haze that passes for air around here would be a welcome change. Maybe I’ll move back to Pennsylvania. I never liked the city.”

“Why did you come here at all, if you hate being in the city?”

“Jackie was here.” Kim opened her eyes and leaned her head back against the wall. “There was no family left back in Pennsylvania, no reason to stay...” Her voice trailed off as the memories rushed back. “At first, it was just going to be until I finished graduate school. Then I got a job and we decided we’d stay until Andy finished high school. Then I met Marc and it sort of settled the issue, or so I thought. But now? I don’t know. It would be tough to leave, after having Judy next door all these years, but who knows? I guess I’ll just see how things go. I’m learning how to live one day at a time and not think about the future.”

Martin wanted to inquire about Marc, but the pain he’d seen in her eyes when she mentioned the name made him hesitate. Perhaps now wasn’t the time. The silence that had settled over them was comfortable and he decided to let the matter rest.

*****

It wasn’t until late afternoon that the others returned, tired but successful. Kim woke from her nap and wandered into the radio room where Martin was listening to Drew and Damian as they related the details of the raid on the mothership.

“... left them with Paul until tomorrow. It seemed safer than trying to smuggle everything back here,” Drew was saying.

Kim leaned against the doorway. “Won’t anyone notice so many weapons missing?” She had slept through the early morning preparations and didn’t know how the theft was going to be concealed.

Damian smiled at her. “It’s going to take them weeks to straighten out the computer’s inventory.” He shook his head sadly. “They have been very lax in updating some of the more obscure access codes. I expect they’ll be having trouble with many of the non-essential systems breaking down, too.”

“You didn’t!” Kim grinned at him, surprised that Damian had taken the additional risk while securing weapons.

He shrugged. “I was already in the system, so making a few more modifications didn’t take much time. Actually, it will help cover up the sabotage of the weapons records. I left navigation alone,” he added for Martin’s benefit.

As Damian began to relate the details of what he had done, Kim’s mind drifted to Martin. She could almost imagine their earlier conversation had never happened. Now that they were not alone, nothing in his behavior indicated that anything had changed.

His concealment of their new understanding forced her to recognize how many issues between them remained unresolved. She understood his reasons. Being unaware of her relationship with Damian, he was protecting both of them from the reactions of the others. The fifth columnists weren’t saints, Darlene was proof of that. Gossip had a tendency to spread, and neither of them could predict how other fifth columnists would react to the news that their leader was in a relationship with a human.

But the issues went far beyond potentially negative reactions from others. She and Martin had both been careful to avoid talk about his future, and she had no idea if he even wanted to remain on Earth. It was all happening too fast. Tomorrow they were joining Donovan’s group. The day after... At least she knew he didn’t want it to end this way.

It was a small consolation.

*****

Kim woke when the mattress shifted and was surprised to find Martin getting into bed beside her. Her expression must have alarmed him, because he seemed very hesitant and unsure of himself.

The corner of Kim’s mouth quirked up in a sleepy half-smile as she reached for him. “What took you so long?” Her comment seemed to reassure him and he stretched out next to her.

She snuggled against him and pressed her head against his chest. One arm slipped under his to rub his back as he lay on his side. The tension she had sensed moments ago was gone. “Are you going to be able to get enough sleep out here?” she asked softly. As much as she wanted this time with him, he needed his rest. Out here, he’d wake every time one of the twins cried.

“I’ll sleep,” he murmured, already drowsy. He wanted to explain how easy it was to relax in her embrace, how her warmth soothed him and made him forget about the burdens of command. He tried to find the words, but they eluded him. He was tired... so tired. He was dimly aware that her hand was stroking his back in a slow tempo that matched her breathing. Giving himself over to his fatigue, he allowed Kim’s caress to lull him to sleep.

*****

The next morning, there was an atmosphere of reluctance as they all prepared to depart what had been their home. They decided, after a few minutes of discussion, to leave the stolen cars where they were rather then move them to the streets and invite vandalism or theft. It didn’t take long for them to pack the radio equipment and food, move their few belongings to storage compartments in the shuttle, and fold the bunks back up against the bulkheads. The humor behind Jackie’s remark about returning trays and seat backs to their upright position was lost on the Visitors, but induced an uncontrollable fit of giggles in Kim.

She immediately dismissed Martin’s suggestion that she and Jackie stay with Paul rather than accompany the rest of them to the base. Though it would spare Kim from a possibly hostile reception, she didn’t want to say good-bye any sooner than she had to. Besides, it wouldn’t be fair to Jackie to keep her away from her sister. That was one thing Kim was looking forward to: enjoying Jackie’s surprised reaction when she saw Julie for the first time since the Visitors’ arrival.

Too soon, it was time to leave. Everyone but Drew found a seat on the shuttle and settled in for the ride. Drew slid the huge doors at the far end of the building wide open and Martin piloted the shuttle out, letting it skim only inches above the concrete before setting it down again outside so Drew could board.

They all watched Jackie closely as they rode in the shuttle and were relieved to see that she was faring better than in her previous flight. Even when they stopped and loaded up with the dozens of weapons and uniforms stolen the day before from the mothership, Jackie managed to stay relaxed. Anthony wondered aloud if constant exposure to the shuttle during their stay had served to counteract the compulsions Diana had planted in her brain. Whatever the reason for her improved state, it was something to be thankful for.

*****

Damian set the shuttle down just as two pick-up trucks, followed by resistance members on foot, drove up to meet them.

“My God... no!” Jackie gripped Damian’s chair fiercely when she saw a too-familiar face riding in the back of the first vehicle.

Kim was immediately behind her, steadying her friend with a free hand as she braced Katherine against her shoulder. “What is it?”

“Ham’s here.” Desperate eyes tuned to Kim. “I can’t go out there! Not now.”

“Are you sure it’s him, Jackie? It’s been almost ten years...” Kim asked, then belatedly remembered Martin had mentioned Ham’s name to her on the ship.

“You know Ham Tyler?” Martin was looking at her with surprise as he keyed the shuttle’s ramp open and put on his sunglasses.

Jackie choked back the hysterical laughter that threatened to engulf her. “You could say that.”

Martin nodded to himself, saving his questions for later. He stepped outside to greet the rebels.

“It’s good to see you again, Julie,” Kim heard him say as she put her own sunglasses on. A few snide comments from Ham and another resistance fighter drifted inside, and she wondered for a half-second if it had been a good idea after all to defiantly don her own uniform as a show of allegiance to the fifth columnists. She sighed to herself and lifted her chin slightly. It was too late to change clothes now.

Ignoring her own nervousness, Kim took Jackie firmly by the arm and propelled her to the doorway to stand behind the other fifth columnists who were following Martin outside. She smiled her gratitude to Megan, who had Jeffrey in her arms, and then forced Jackie to exit the shuttle. “Surprise,” she told her friend softly.

Jackie froze in place, too stunned to say anything as she recognized Julie shaking hands with Damian and Alan.

Sensing her friend’s shock, Kim took it upon herself to get Julie’s attention. She called out,  “Julie.”

The blond head turned, looking to see which Visitor had said her name, and saw Jackie standing in the doorway to the shuttle. “Jackie?” she whispered in disbelief, hesitating only a  moment before bounding up the ramp and flinging her arms around her older sister. “Jackie!”

Martin had been guided away from the shuttle by someone Kim presumed to be Mike Donovan. At Julie’s exclamation, Kim noticed that he turned so he could watch the happy reunion. Sensing her gaze, he looked at Kim and smiled slightly before returning his attention to Mike. She dared a glance at Ham and noticed he was watching the sisters with a very grim expression, though he gave no hint that he had ever met Jackie before.

Jackie finally regained the power to speak and pulled back to glare at Kim. “You could have told me!” she chided as she kept hold of Julie’s hands, momentarily forgetting all about Ham.

Kim smiled at her and shook her head. “The suspense would have been too agonizing for you.”

Julie turned to her and looked closely at her face for the first time. Her brow furrowed in momentary disbelief and she shook her head slightly. “Kim?”

The corner of Kim’s mouth quirked up in a crooked half-grin. “I can’t believe you didn’t recognize me.”

Julie carefully hugged her, mindful of the child Kim was holding. “Your voice...”

“Long story,” Kim replied softly, ducking the questions for now. “Tell me, how’s Robin doing? She looks okay from here, but...”

“You know about that?” Julie checked herself, remembering Kim and Jackie had arrived with Martin, who had been instrumental in Robin’s rescue. Kim’s question made her look at the bundled child Kim held, but she refrained from asking. “I suppose Martin told you.” She pushed her hair out of her eyes, only to have the breeze blow it back again. “She’s doing okay. She had twins... one died after just a few days. Elizabeth seems healthy enough, but her growth rate....” Julie let her sentence go unfinished as her eyes darted from the infant Kim held to the child in Megan’s arms. “Don’t tell me...”

Kim nodded slightly. “We can talk later. The more immediate concern is keeping Ham Tyler in line, especially around Jackie.”

Julie laughed bitterly as she smiled at the Visitors she hadn’t had a chance to talk to yet. “If he wasn’t so damn useful in getting us supplies, I think one of us would have strangled him by now.” She glanced at her sister, curious at Kim’s comment. “But what’s that got to do with you?”

Jackie looked down at her feet and chewed on her lip. “I guess I never told you his name, but he’s the one who left me in the lurch all those years ago.”

Julie’s jaw dropped. “Ham?” She pointed discretely at him, her body blocking the motion from Ham’s view. “You and _Ham_ were...?”

Jackie nodded once, somberly, then lifted her eyes to look at Julie. “He doesn’t know about Jer and this really isn’t the time to tell him, so keep it to yourself, okay?”

“What’d I tell you, Gooder, they’re breeding already.”

Ham’s words enraged Kim and she lifted her chin defiantly. “Here,” she said softly as she handed Katherine to Jackie. “I’m going to go settle this right now.”

Philip moved back up the ramp to take Jeffrey from Megan. “I don’t envy him!” he confided quietly as he held his hand out to Julie. “I’m Philip. There are a few dozen laser rifles and uniforms inside,” he told her, indicating the shuttle with a tilt of his head. “Where do you want them?”

His question brought Julie’s focus back to the reason for the columnists’ arrival. “We can load them into one of the trucks and take them back to the main building.” She turned and looked over the group of rebels she led, trying to decide who she could rely on to be polite. She immediately dismissed Robert. As Robin’s father, he was somewhat hostile in his dealings with Visitors of any kind, although to his credit, he had been amicable when introduced to Martin. Ham and his partner Chris were not worth considering. Besides, Kim was talking to them and Julie had no intention of interrupting that.

Maggie had lost her fiancé to the Visitors during the raid on the water pumping station. Still, she had been kind to Robin during the girl’s unusual pregnancy and delivery. In addition, Maggie made an effort to be friendly with Willie, a Visitor who had been captured a while back and turned out to be a willing ally in the rebel cause. Julie mentally approved of her and let her gaze move onward, settling next on Caleb.

Caleb and his son Elias had also befriended Willie, to the point of almost making the Visitor a part of their family. It was due in part, Julie knew, to the fact that Willie had saved Caleb’s life soon after the Visitors had arrived. Willie had been assigned to work at the cryogenics plant where Caleb was employed, and had rescued Caleb after an accident enveloped the man in liquid nitrogen.

“Maggie? Caleb? Elias? Will you help move the supplies into the trucks?” Julie called to them as she absently rubbed the tense muscles in her neck.

Philip held his free arm out slightly to Jackie, inviting her into an embrace if she needed it. She leaned gratefully against him as she watched Kim talk to Ham. She couldn’t hear what either of them were saying, but Kim’s body language indicated that she was still on the offensive.

“You okay?” Philip murmured to her.

Jackie nodded, then pulled away. “Let’s get the shuttle unloaded,” she said and ducked back inside where Ham’s glare of disapproval couldn’t reach her. She knelt down carefully and scooped up a small stack of uniforms to move to the truck, mindful to hold Katherine securely against her shoulder.

“Delta? I’m breathing the same air as Delta?”

Jackie looked up at the young man gaping at her. She couldn’t help but laugh. “Been a long time since anyone called me that,” she said as she dropped the uniforms and reached up, offering her hand for an Earth-style handshake. “What’s your name?”

“Elias,” he managed to sputter. Seeing she was having difficulty picking up the stack while holding a baby, he immediately knelt to help. “I’ll get those, Delta.”

“My friends call me Jackie,” she corrected gently and got to her feet. Long accustomed to tongue-tied fans, she affected not to notice his awed reaction to her. “After you,” she added, gesturing him towards the shuttle ramp.

Elias tried to hide his nervousness behind non-stop chatter. “This is just _too_ cool! It almost makes the war worthwhile! I have _all_ your albums...”

Taking the straps of three rifles in his free hand, Philip followed Jackie and watched her gently steer Elias towards the pickup truck while he walked backwards talking to her. He glanced at Julie, who was also walking beside him and likewise watching the exchange. “Does that happen often?”

Julie smiled wistfully and nodded. She kept her voice low, so only Philip could hear her. “All the time. And she loves every minute of it.” Watching Elias reminded her of how she and Jackie had drifted apart over the years. Both had wanted such different things out of life that somehow their own relationship had foundered because of it, reducing them to conversations that never ventured beyond superficial topics. Kim probably knew all of the sordid details of Jackie’s past relationship with Ham, whereas she, Jackie’s sister, hadn’t even known his name.

Kim joined them by the second pickup and took Katherine back from Jackie before turning to Julie. “Is it a long walk to where we’re going?”

Julie pointed to the building the resistance considered to be their main headquarters. “It’s clear over there.”

Kim estimated the building was at least a hundred yards away. “Answer enough,” she said with a sigh as she moved to open the passenger door of the cab, pausing when Jackie called her name. Jackie’s face asked the questions as clearly as if she had spoken them aloud and Kim smiled reassuringly at her. “The party in question agreed to a policy of mutual avoidance.”

Jackie sighed in relief and closed her eyes to avoid Elias’s questioning look. “I owe you, Kim.”

“More than you know!” she fired back before sinking into the seat of the pickup.


	13. You're Never Really Prepared

“I don’t think we met.” A rich, deep voice broke Kim’s reverie. She opened her eyes and smiled at the large, dark-skinned man with the wide grin who had seated himself behind the wheel and started the engine. “I’m Caleb.”

“Nice to meet you, Caleb. I’m Kim.” Remembering her manners, she adjusted Katherine in her arms and held out her hand to him. He took it automatically, then looked from her hand to her eyes in surprise at the temperature of her skin. “Kim Winthrop, and it’s a LONG story,” she said as she smiled at him.

The friendly look remained on his face and he winked at her. “We have lots of those stories ’round here.”

Kim found herself liking him instantly and hoped the other columnists felt equally at ease with him. “Is that your son who’s fawning over Jackie?”

He nodded as he released the parking brake. “That’s my boy.” His voice was filled with pride. “Elias. His older brother Ben worked with Julie at the hospital,” he answered, then stuck his head out the window. “Hang on back there, we’re pulling out!” he called to the rebels and columnists who had braced themselves amongst the uniforms and weapons that were stacked in the truck’s bed.

Kim didn’t ask about Ben. The pain that had flickered across Caleb’s face as he mentioned his other son told the story.

*****

Mike tossed the keys from the second vehicle to Robert and took Martin’s arm, guiding him away from the throng that was slowly following Caleb’s truck to the main building. “A few things have changed since I talked to you last.”

Martin looked sharply at him and waited for the human to explain.

Mike hooked his thumbs in the belt loops of his jeans and gazed out at the ocean. “Sean was converted. Julie caught him spying on us when we were planning the attack on the air force base.”

“I’m sorry, Mike.”

Donovan nodded and scuffed at the dirt with the toe of his boot. “Ham had an idea on how to use that to our favor.... Sean thinks he sneaked out unnoticed, but we let him go. He’ll most likely head straight for his grandmother and feed her the information about the attack on the base.”

“How are you going to disperse the toxin then?”

“Balloons. It’s a better way, actually. More of the resistance groups will be able to participate...” He turned and tried to read the Visitor’s eyes through the lightly tinted sunglasses Martin wore. “Question is, do you think they’ll believe Sean?”

Martin nodded grimly, without hesitation. “Diana will.”

“What about Steven?” He saw Martin’s confusion and explained. “My mother-- Sean’s grandmother-- is Eleanor Dupres.”

Martin gazed at him in sympathetic understanding. It was common knowledge in the fleet that Steven spent a lot of time at Eleanor’s home in Los Angeles and some of the gossip had included speculation over the more intimate details of the relationship. “Steven likes to-- what’s the expression you use-- hedge his bets?” When Mike nodded, confirming his use of the phrase, Martin continued. “Steven would certainly report the information Sean gives him, even if he doesn’t believe it himself. Diana has been relieved of non-scientific duties, but we can make sure she hears about it anyway,” he added, turning to look for Damian.

Damian had been watching the exchange and saw Martin wave him over. He greeted Mike quickly before turning to Martin.

“Sean Donovan recently gave Steven some incorrect information concerning the raids on the air force bases. We need to be sure Diana gets that information, too,” Martin explained.

Damian smiled. “Consider it done.”

*****

Kim tried and failed to stifle a yawn as she got out of the truck. It was no use. She was exhausted and knew that the fatigue would only get worse if she didn’t get some rest. Katherine was starting to fuss and needed to be fed anyway. “Is there somewhere I could lie down? I’m whipped,” she asked Caleb as he came around to her side of the vehicle.

“I’ll show you,” he told her kindly. He led her inside, down a long corridor that had small rooms on either side. Philip walked behind them, carrying Jeffrey and the basket Megan had thought to bring from the shuttle.

“Here.” Caleb indicated a room with two twin beds. “It tends to be quiet in this end of the building, so you should be able to rest undisturbed.”

“Thank you, Caleb,” Kim responded as she sank gratefully onto one of the beds.

“If you need anything, you just let me know.”

“I will.”

He nodded once, smiled at Philip as he passed him on his way out, and left them alone.

Philip closed the door and put the basket on the unoccupied bed, then gently laid Jeffrey inside. “Are you all right?” he asked her when he finally turned to her.

Kim nodded half-heartedly and lay down as she worked the fastenings of her uniform. The emotional numbness that had set in the day before seemed to have lifted somewhat, which was a rather mixed blessing. “Aside from being exhausted, scared about tomorrow, and sick of being stared at.”

They were beyond needing words. Instead, he knelt down and took her hand for a moment. “I’ll check on you later.” Then he left, closing the door behind him.

*****

“We should get you all immunized before we even think about loading the red dust into the shuttle,” Mike advised Martin as they walked side-by-side through the corridor of the main building.

Martin nodded in agreement. “First we need to sit down and go over exactly how we’re going to go about this tomorrow.”

“We’ve got a large conference room-- it’s right through there.” Mike pointed to the double doors at the end of the hall.

“I have the diagrams here,” Anthony added from behind them. Mike glanced back and saw he had a sketchbook in his hand.

Mike scanned the corridor for Julie and saw Ham Tyler glaring at him. He sighed to himself and muttered to Martin, “I suppose we’re going to be graced with Tyler’s presence for this, even though he’s not involved in the raid on the ship.”

Martin glanced sideways at him in surprise. “Mike, you can’t expect this to work if each team is acting autonomously.”

“You should listen to him, Gooder,” Ham growled as he sauntered towards them. Despite the back-handed compliment he had given Martin, he avoided making any eye contact with the fifth columnist. “Tomorrow’s going to be a bit more complicated than shoving a camera in someone’s face.”

Mike started forward, only to be stopped by Julie’s petite form which had materialized between them.

“Cut it out, both of you!” she said, glaring at each of them in turn. “Let’s just sit down and go over the plans for tomorrow. The two of you can harass each other on your own time.”

Mike walked through the double doors, only to hear Ham’s snide comment from behind him, “Ladies first!”

Enraged, Mike whirled, knowing Ham hadn’t been referring to Julie. Damn him! Just yesterday Ham had been almost human in the way he’d talked to Mike regarding Sean’s conversion. Julie’s glare made him hold back his automatic retort. He went over to the oblong table and sat down, claiming a chair in the middle of the long side. Martin sat on his right, with Anthony next to him. The rest of the columnists remained standing, allowing several other rebels to take the remaining chairs.

Ham claimed a spot near the end of the far side, as far away from Mike and the Visitors as he could manage. Julie took a seat opposite Mike and Martin, which also put her somewhat between the two groups. Maggie and Caleb sat on either side of her. Elias, Willie, and Harmony moved up behind them, shunning the chairs in order to see the sketches Anthony was spreading out on the table.

Jackie had debated for a moment about the wisdom of attending the meeting, but couldn’t bring herself to leave. Even though her condition was going to prevent her from participating in any of the ship or ground offensives, she wanted to know what had been planned. She was relieved when Ham took a seat away from the Visitors, enabling her to both avoid him and stand with the people who had become her friends.

“Why don’t you start by telling us what you have planned so far,” Martin suggested, directing his attention towards Julie.

Her eyes filled with an unspoken apology before she looked to Ham, indicating he should answer. “Keep it civilized,” she warned him in a cool tone before leaning back in her chair to listen.

Tyler was gruff  but restrained as he gave an abbreviated account of what the ground units were going to be doing. “The network has managed to rally several hot-air balloon clubs. They’re launching not long after dawn, then holding for a couple of hours until red dust release time at eleven-hundred hours, East Coast time. Concurrent with that, helium balloons are going to be loaded and released. Within a half hour of release time, this city’s going to have thick smog in a pretty shade of pink.

“We’re going to let the hot-air balloons hang there a good long time, ’specially in the East. Give Diana something to wonder about- maybe she’ll strain something.” He grinned wickedly and continued, “While I’m coordinating that, Chris is taking the bulk of this motley group to Security Headquarters. I’ll meet them there by showtime,” he added for Julie’s benefit, having seen her eyebrows raise in question. “The bulk of the troops will be at the Air Force bases, expecting an attack before dawn, so it should be easy to take back the lizards’ main surface outpost.”

“What time are you going to attack headquarters?” Martin inquired, keeping his mask free of the reactions Ham hoped to evoke by using the term “lizard.”

“Same as the local release time --8 a.m.”

Martin turned back to Julie without an acknowledgment. The mothership had to be out of Earth’s atmosphere no later than the release time then. “Were you able to get a supply ready to load onto the shuttle?” he asked Julie. “If we put it into the storage tanks, we can use the ship’s systems to feed it into the ventilation ducts.”

She nodded. “It would be best if you showed us how to load it and stayed away from the shuttle after that. That way you’ll minimize your exposure until the antitoxin has a chance to take full effect.”

Mike interjected, “What about actually introducing the toxin? Can we be trained for that here?”

Martin nodded his agreement to Julie’s suggestion as he turned to Mike. “Yes, but our first priority is to get control of the landing bay. While you’re downloading the toxin, we have to make sure the vents stay open to the other sections of the ship. Can you spare a dozen or so individuals? We need you to keep the landing bay secured while we override the vent controls.”

Seeing Julie and Mike were a bit confused by what he was talking about, he pointed to the diagram of the mothership that Anthony had sketched. “Individual sections of the ship can be sealed off from the rest, and the controls for that are located in Master Control-- the toxin ineffective if Pamela seals the landing bay. We can sever the controls that shut the vents, but we can't override a signal once it's sent-- it's part of a fail-safe network to keep panicked crew members from compromising the safety of the rest of the ship in the event of a hull breach. We have to get that toxin into the system while she's preoccupied. Too late or too soon, and the toxin will be confined to just these areas. While your people are in the landing bay downloading the toxin, we’ll be moving into key areas to keep those ducts open. After that, you’ll regroup in the shuttle bay and leave while Lorraine and I try to deactivate the destruct device and get the ship out of the atmosphere. While I doubt we’ll have enough time to get the engines on-line and move the ship far enough, it’s your only hope of Earth surviving the destruction of a mothership.”

Looking at Martin with a piercing gaze, Mike said, “You sound like you don’t intend to come back to the surface with us.”

Martin ignored him. “I’m also going to need some help taking over Master Control. Once Pamela, John, and Diana realize the toxin is on board, they’ll seal themselves inside the control room.” He glanced over at the columnists. “You’ll be too busy with the vent controls,” he added for their benefit before turning to Julie. “Do you have any explosives? We weren’t able to smuggle any off the ship, and we’ll need something to break through to Master Control.”

“Chris?” she said, deferring to Ham’s friend and partner.

The heavy-set man nodded curtly. “Just tell me who to give them to.”

“I’ll go,” Elias said with a grin. “Maybe I’ll get to pay my respects to Diana! Not to mention the chance to take my career to a whole new level!”

“Elias!” Caleb reprimanded him sharply. The war had given his son an opportunity to move beyond petty theft and he wanted to believe that the change was permanent.

“S’okay, Pop.” Elias waved his hand dismissively. “Anyone else?”

Mike and Julie exchanged a look and nodded at each other before turning to Martin. “Just tell us what to do.”

Martin took the pencil Anthony offered him and leaned forward to better point to details in the sketches. He focused first on the schematic of the landing bay, explaining to all of them where the equipment to download the toxin was stored, as well as where the guards would be posted. He moved next to diagrams of the main corridors leading from the shuttle bay. “Lorraine’s going to get a decoder unit and meet you here to guide you up to Master Control. I’ll stay in the landing bay as long as I can and meet you up there later. Don’t worry,” he assured Mike when he sensed the coming question. “There are shortcuts I can take. We’re having you stick to the main corridors so you have less of a chance of getting lost in the chaos that’s going to erupt when Pamela and John start reassigning troops.

“Do you have any questions?” he asked as he pushed the sketch over to them so they could commit it to memory. Martin waited a moment, then moved the diagram of the shuttle bay to the center of the table. “Then let’s go over exactly what needs to be done to secure the bay.”

*****

Kim carried a tray with her dinner into the small lounge the columnists had claimed. Everyone was there except Martin, who was reportedly touring the base with Mike. She set the tray on the coffee table before sitting down next to Damian on the couch and pulling the table to within easy reach. “Have you noticed how all conversation stops whenever we walk into a room?” she commented bitterly before sinking her teeth into her sandwich. Was it any wonder they had all retreated to a room by themselves?

Damian put his hand on her neck and gently massaged the tension from her muscles. “Did you learn anything from Julie’s notes?”

Kim pointed to the manila folder that was on the tray next to her plate. “See for yourself.” She glanced over her shoulder, looking towards the entrance to the room, and lowered her voice. “Just keep your voice down. Julie doesn’t want Robin to know we have this.”

“I can see why,” he said softly as he opened the folder to find photos of Robin’s children. The first was of Elizabeth, who looked like a five-year-old human. The growth rate alone was alarming, given the fact she was only about six weeks old according to the calendar. The second, a reptilian-looking infant, had lived only a week and died before being given a name. Unlike Kim’s children and his own sister, this child was a parody of his dual heritage. His head was too large compared to the rest of his body and his face much flatter than was typical of either Visitors or humans. There was something about him that seemed unnatural, as if he were a poorly made puppet in a B-rated horror flick, though Kim couldn’t identify exactly what it was about him that gave that impression. It had been from his gastro-intestinal tract that Julie had isolated the agent developed into the red dust.

The red dust, according to Julie, was a mutant strain of _E. coli_. However, the subsequent tests indicated otherwise to Kim. Unlike Julie, who had focused on medical school, Kim had spent her undergraduate college years working in a microbiology lab, and was more familiar with how authentic _E. coli_ would behave. In Kim’s opinion, the microbe that Julie had isolated was most likely a new organism and probably an unexpected by-product of Diana’s genetic manipulations rather than a variant strain of _E. coli._

Kim ate her sandwich while the rest of them examined the photos and the notes Julie had taken during Robin’s unusual pregnancy, as well as the report Julie had written detailing Robin’s use of the toxin on Brian.

Drew felt ill after reading how the toxin worked and he wished he’d foregone the offer to learn about it. “Do you think the antitoxin will work?”

Kim nodded confidently. Julie may not be a microbiologist, but she certainly knew her way around a lab and was more than qualified to synthesize an effective antidote to red dust.

*****

Jackie wandered in a while later. “Have you seen Julie anywhere?”

Kim turned, looking over her shoulder at her. “She was in the lab last I knew. Have you tried looking for Mike?”

Jackie winced at the thought of her sister in a relationship with Donovan, then shook her head.

Kim smiled. “Is this a case of the pot calling the kettle black?” Donovan was hardly a worse choice of lover than Ham Tyler, after all.

“That’s _not_ fair!”

Kim just shrugged, unmoved by Jackie’s sudden ire.

“Hey, Jackie! Been looking all over for you.” Elias said as he came down the hallway to her. “We’ve been talking about what to do this evening to keep everyone’s mind off of tomorrow. Don’t know if you noticed, but there’s a banged-up piano in the conference room and we wondered if...” Elias’s voice trailed off as Jackie bit her lower lip and turned away. “Sorry.”

Jackie shook her head and forced a smile to her face as she looked back to him. “It’s okay. It’s just that piano playing is a bit beyond me right now.”

Kim locked eyes with Damian and he nodded at her encouragingly. She didn’t really want to, but given his interest, and the fact this might be the last chance any of them... She stopped that thought immediately. “I’m willing if you are, Jackie.”

Jackie’s gaze swung back to her. “Are you sure you’re up to it?” Still, she couldn’t keep the spark of anticipation from her eyes as she contemplated singing to an appreciative audience.

“I’m tired, but I can play for a while at least. And it would give us all something to do other than sitting around fretting.” Kim turned her attention to Elias. “Is there any sheet music in the piano bench or will I be forced to do this all from memory?”

“I’ll be right back!” He jabbed his finger in her direction before bolting back down the corridor. He returned only a few minutes later brandishing an old hymnal. “How about this?”

Kim took it and cracked the back cover open so she could skim the list of hymns. There were several that she knew would be familiar to everyone, even across multiple denominations. “This should do.” She glanced up at Jackie and handed her the book. “A few of yours, a few of these for a sing-along... it could be fun.”

Jackie smiled back at her, then checked her watch. “Why don’t you work on getting everyone rounded up, Elias, and we’ll see how out of tune this piano is. We’ll plan on starting in, say, twenty minutes.”

*****

Just as Kim had hoped, it did turn out to be fun. Other than the few individuals standing guard outside, the entire population of the rebel base was crammed into the conference room.

Someone had made up a huge batch of popcorn and styrofoam cups of the fluffy treat were passed out to everyone who wanted some, much to the delight of the children who were clustered on the floor near the piano.

Jackie started out by performing some of her own songs, being careful to choose only uplifting and lively pieces she knew to be popular. Ham Tyler drifted in at one point with an inscrutable expression on his face, though he left as soon as Jackie noticed him standing in the doorway.

After everyone was sufficiently relaxed and feeling somewhat removed from tomorrow’s nightmare, Jackie and Kim switched to popular hymns and prodded everyone to participate. Soon the walls were vibrating with happy voices raised in an affirmation of all that was good in the world.

When Kim paused one time to let Jackie pick the next song, she stole a look over her shoulder to gaze at the fifth columnists who were standing along the back wall, somewhat apart from the rest. Megan and Philip had the twins and Kim hoped they would continue to sleep. Of all of them, Damian seemed to be enjoying himself the most. His eyes were closed and his head was leaning back against the wall; he seemed to be lost in the pleasure of the moment.

When Jackie detected signs that Kim was feeling more fatigued, she leaned over to whisper to her, then motioned everyone to their feet. “May as well finish with this one, since you’ll be on your feet and ready to head off to bed,” she said with a smile. Moments later, the ending measures of _The Star Spangled Banner_ filled the room, giving everyone the key and tempo so they could do the piece justice.

A murmur of approval coursed through the room and they sang with great feeling. Many of the rebels had tears in their eyes when the last notes faded away, and no one moved to leave.

Julie got up from her seat and scanned the room, looking for someone. “Caleb?” she asked when she finally saw him standing along the far wall. Prayer had become a traditional part of their final preparations before each raid on Visitor installations. Caleb had led the prayers before Father Andrew had joined their numbers, and now that Father Andrew had defected, it seemed appropriate that the task should once again fall to him. While Caleb’s approach was far less poetic than some might want, his prayers were always direct and heartfelt.

Caleb nodded once, then bowed his head, “You’ve been hearing this a lot, Lord, but we’re asking once again, ’cause a lot of good people are depending on us. Please help each one of us to do the very best we can tomorrow. A good night’s sleep tonight wouldn’t hurt either. And for those you choose to call Home, please make their journey easy. Amen.”

Murmured “Amens” pronounced the end to the evening and the resistance fighters began to slowly shuffle their way out. Kim watched quietly from her seat on the piano bench as children were gently prodded to get up and prepare for bed. Soon, she and Jackie were the only ones remaining, aside from the fifth columnists she considered to be her family.

Jackie put her hand on Kim’s shoulder and commented softly, “Now comes the hard part.”

Kim fought back tears and nodded slightly. “I guess we can’t put it off any longer, can we?”

“Put what off?” Damian asked softly as he drew near.

“I’m not getting up in the morning until after you have left,” Kim admitted.

“Why not?” he asked, suspecting he knew the answer.

Kim gave him a wry half-smile. “I hate mornings. And it would be a distraction at a time you need to be focused on the task at hand.”

“What about you?” Anthony asked Jackie when he noticed her nodding in agreement.

“I’ll be up but very busy. I’m helping with the breakfast preparations and then I’ll be chaperoning the kids.”

“I’m sorry... I can’t do this,” Kim whispered before she bolted from the room.

Philip went after her, leaving the others to say their good-byes to Jackie.

They bore her tearful hugs with relative grace, passing the twins to empty arms so they could each give Jackie a moment of full attention. Martin was last, and Jackie wasn’t sure if she dared hug him or not. He always seemed above the rest of them somehow. Removed. He must have sensed her hesitation, because he moved almost imperceptibly towards her in a way that she perceived as an invitation.

“Take care of her,” he whispered in her ear as he pressed his cool cheek to her temple, too softly for anyone else to hear.

She was too stunned to reply. He pulled away and Jackie looked into his eyes, surprised at the amount of feeling she sensed behind his impassive gaze. She nodded, then took Katherine from Alan, intending to take Kim’s children to her.

Damian moved Jeffrey up against his shoulder and tilted his head towards the door. “She’s forgotten we know where her room is,” he explained as he fell into step beside her.

*****

They found the door to Kim’s room slightly ajar. Jackie pushed it open with her foot and led Damian quietly inside. Kim was sitting on the bed, quietly sobbing in Philip’s arms. Her face was pressed against his chest as he rocked her slightly. Jackie laid Katherine in the basket on the other bed and touched Damian’s arm in silent farewell before leaving the room.

Philip motioned Damian to the bed with his eyes and gently removed Kim’s arms from around his waist. She looked at him, confused, until she felt Damian’s hand on her back.

“Wherever you run to, we can follow,” he teased as he pulled her to him, still looking at Philip.

Philip nodded at him and quietly exited, closing the door behind him.

“No escape?” she managed to whisper.

“None.”

“It’s the waiting I can’t stand. Tomorrow’s going to be worse.”

“I know.”

They lapsed into silence after that and just sat together for a time before he got up to leave. Damian saw the tears threatening to spill down her cheeks once more and pressed a finger to her lips to cut her off. “You’ll be okay,” he assured her.

Kim rose and hugged him fiercely before reluctantly letting him go. She wouldn’t say good-bye, as if refusing to utter the words would bring him back safely.

After Damian left, the others filed in one by one to give her a hug in a silent farewell. Kim wasn’t sure why they all avoided talking, but even she didn’t want to engage in conversation. Somehow, it was enough to share a quiet moment alone with each of them, until it was Martin’s turn. She expected him to come in next and was surprised when it was Philip who passed through the doorway.

“Mike wanted to talk to Martin about something, so I expect he’ll be in later.” He gazed tenderly at her. “Try to get some sleep.”

“You, too,” she answered softly as he shut the door, leaving her alone.

*****

Martin saw light under the door of Kim’s room and knocked hesitantly. Hearing no answer, he opened the door a few inches and peered inside. Kim was huddled in a ball on the twin bed, crying quietly. She started when he sat down on the bed, then flung her arms around his neck, leaving little doubt how she felt about the likely result of tomorrow’s attack on the ship.

They talked some, though later he would be unable to recall what had been said. At some point, when they lapsed into silence, he bid a silent farewell to the children who were soundly sleeping in their basket, unaware of the drama surrounding them. Finally, he kissed her once more and rose, keeping hold of her hand. He briefly clasped it in the manner of married couples, then slipped out so they could both get some sleep. As much as he wanted to stay the night, he knew that he needed every minute of rest he would be able to get.

*****

Still feeling too restless to retire, Martin wandered the corridors of the building. Without choosing a direction, he found himself exiting the building and walking towards the shore. The moon was nearly full and illuminated the sky with an eerie light, so unlike the darkness of space. The breeze carried the tangy aroma of salty air to him, and he breathed deeply, enjoying the foreign smell. Idly, he wondered if he would ever get used to the view of such a wealth of liquid water. The sound of the breaking waves was soothing and hypnotic, and he allowed the rhythm to set his mind adrift.

*****

Unable to sleep, Caleb decided to walk outside and get some air in hopes it would help him relax. He stopped to chat with Eric, who was on guard duty, and noticed a lone figure standing on the cliff overlooking the ocean.

Eric shrugged. “Martin’s been out there a long time. I don’t know what he’s doing.”

Caleb knew. “Leave him be. Considering what he’s facing tomorrow, the man is entitled to some time with his own thoughts.”

Martin’s acute hearing allowed him to listen to the exchange. Recognizing the deep voice, he was filled with gratitude. More than once today, Caleb had acted as a buffer between the rebels and columnists. His unsophisticated manner and practical view of things were traits Martin admired. When Caleb talked, people listened, and what he said usually made sense. He had the respect of everyone, even Ham Tyler, Martin had noticed. While not everyone agreed with Caleb’s views, it was clear that they respected him.

Hoping for an opportunity to engage him in conversation, Martin studied the pattern of Caleb’s roving and set out on a wandering path that would allow them to intersect if Caleb wished, or pass each other by if he preferred to be alone.

“You can’t sleep either?” Caleb asked when they drew closer together.

Martin shook his head, belatedly questioning the wisdom of initiating this conversation. He didn’t have anything in particular he wanted to talk about...

Caleb sighed and gazed at the ocean as it heaved under the blanket of moonlight. “Whichever way this thing goes, a lot of good people are going to die tomorrow.”

“Several billion,” Martin replied, more to himself than to Caleb.

“An optimist after my own heart.”

Martin looked sharply at him. He hadn’t detected that attitude earlier today. “You’re against this, too?”

Caleb laughed bitterly. “Damn right I’m against it. But those of us who thought that way were outnumbered. All we can do now is try our best and hope we get lucky.” He paused, looking sideways at the Visitor. “Question is, how much luck do we need?”

Martin shook his head. “I don’t know. It all depends on how desperate Diana feels. If Pamela manages to control her, we have a chance. But if Diana kills her and puts herself in charge... ”

“What about John?”

“He’s nothing more than the Leader’s puppet. If he thinks Diana is listening to him, it’s only because Diana wants him to believe that.”

Caleb’s expression became cynical. “Is it any wonder we can’t sleep?”

*****

“You’re supposed to be asleep.”

Kim turned and looked at Philip despondently. He was leaning against the wall just inside the doorway, though a hand was still on the doorknob. “So are you.” She patted the bed next to her.

It was all the invitation he needed. He quietly shut the door and slipped off his boots, then sat down next to her on the bed. She was seated cross-legged under the blankets, leaning against the wall. A book lay in her lap and he picked it up. “‘Shakespeare: The Poems’?”

Kim nodded. “It’s one of the books Judy sent. I can’t keep my mind on it tonight.”

Philip examined the text, then handed the book back to her. “I can see why.”

She chuckled and elbowed him playfully. “These were written in the late fifteen hundreds. You can’t fault William Shakespeare for the way the English language has changed since then! Besides, it isn’t as difficult to understand as it first seems. Most nights, anyway.”

He put his arm around her and she leaned her head on his shoulder. “Why don’t you stay here for tonight? We can’t sleep any worse in this dinky bed than we already are.”

“Read me your favorite.”

“I don’t need to read that one; I know it by heart.” She set the book aside and got up to turn out the lights while he pulled back the covers and lay down. When they were both settled, she quoted softly, “‘When, in disgrace with fortune and men’s eyes, I all alone beweep my outcast state...’”

*****

“W'time izit?” Kim mumbled when she heard Philip’s alarm jar her from a deep sleep.

“Four.”

“God, it's the middle of the night.” She yawned groggily. She watched him in the faint illumination of moonlight that filtered through the curtains as he carefully got up to retrieve his boots, then reluctantly sat down on the edge of the bed to put them on. “I don’t want you to go.”

He pressed his fingers to her cheek, and she turned her face into his cupped hand. “Be careful,” she whispered, knowing full well he would take any risk he thought necessary.

“I will.” He stood without breaking contact.

“If you want me to see you off, I will.” She kissed the palm and squeezed her eyes shut to hold back the tears. “But to be honest, I’d rather say our good-byes now so I can remember you here.” She felt his hand shift as he knelt down and she kissed his palm again. “And don’t tell me it’s not good-bye, because you don’t know that.”

“I wasn’t going to. You know the odds as well as I do.” Philip looked at her and brushed away a tear with his thumb, trying to burn this image into his retinas so he could carry it with him. “I’d prefer to think of you here, safe and sleeping.”

She opened her eyes to look at him and felt like Time was waiting for her permission before letting the next second come. She reluctantly granted it and pulled his head closer, pressing his forehead against her own. “I’ll be waiting for you,” she whispered, then took a deep breath. “Now go. Dragging it out isn’t going to make it any easier.” She closed her eyes and withdrew her hands. She heard the quiet whisper of fabric as he stood. Then came the dreaded footfalls, retreating from her range of hearing.

The silence was the most painful sound of all.


End file.
